Some people say that Matsuko because of the lack of love since childhood, so she used to play the ghost face to get her father's attention. I don't deny such a view. But it's not her fault that from the moment she was born, she was put in a situation where she had to compete with her sickly sister for her father's love. The smile on her father's face was never meant for her, his gifts were never meant for her. The miserliness of her father's love for her planted the root of the flood of love after Matsuko.
Because of the lack of, so inferior; because of the lack, so bad. Our life, often fall into such helpless cause and effect. But because of the simplicity of her mind and the stupidity of her technique, she did not get the love she longed for in the end.
The first time Matsuko made a face, her father's laugh was probably from the heart, finding it unexpected and amusing. But after a few more times, like Mrs. Xianglin telling the story of her child being taken by the wolf over and over again, it only adds to the boredom. And the uneducated Matsuko would even use this method a thousand times for other different people and different occasions, becoming an uncontrollable quirk, which is really stupid!
And Matsuko's love is superfluous to her father, who is heavy-hearted and rarely smiles. It can neither change her sister's condition, nor alleviate the burden on her father's mind and body. Her father's ghostly look at her finally turns from surprise to dislike.
Matsuko's first job was as a teacher, a profession that requires a great deal of "universal love", and why it is called "the most glorious profession under the sun". She cared for her student, Long Yangyi, as if he were her own child, fearing that he would be wronged, and even went so far as to take the blame for him. But I didn't expect to get back the other side of the betrayal and identification.
To Ryuuyoichi, Matsuko's patronizing and kindness is also superfluous, because she is too stupid to guess why he did that to her, only to be disliked by him!
Matsuko treats her first boyfriend, the depressed writer Tetsuya Hachimikawa, by going against the grain, but this only adds to his lonely heart's inability to cope with the realities of his inability to bring Matsuko happiness and a better life, which he can't do. And Matsuko's undying love and single-minded tolerance and forbearance enrages his pride even more.
"Born a human being, I'm sorry" is the writer's guilt in the face of this "simple and stupid" woman who gave her selfless love but could not return it. Her love can't change the writer's status quo of not being valued and living in poverty, and can't bring the writer the fame and the realization of value that she wants, because she only ''wears a bitter face'' and "accepts it". "disliked for not resisting.
Putting herself to the lowest level and still not getting the love she wants, she really doesn't know what she did wrong. She thought she hadn't put herself low enough, and she didn't mind putting herself even lower. The second man is Hachimikawa's arch rival, Kenzo Okano - a married man. Matsuko foolishly and ridiculously thinks that this time she's the victor on the road to claiming her love, but to Okano, Matsuko is nothing more than a tool he uses to take out his vengeance on his competitors, and there's no reason why she shouldn't be disliked.
The third man is co-star Teruho Ono, who was brought together by a mere chance encounter. It's not hard to see that being unloved over and over again has made her more and more contemptuous of herself and less and less of a person. The desire to be loved has made her hungry for more. She doesn't expect even such a man to try to fool her. Due to a bit of strife, Matsuko has killed and stabbed countless times. Each stab was filled with Matsuko's hatred for a love that was unequal in terms of giving and receiving! Not to Ono alone, but to the accumulation of all the hate!
The fourth man is Shimazu Kenji - a man with whom Matsuko is willing to spend the rest of her life just because of a little tenderness in her gaze. But once again, fate plays a trick on her and she fails to get what she wants. Just when she thought that the honest man in front of her could bring her happiness without waves but would be stable, she was imprisoned, and for eight years. Eight years of imprisonment, she is by the heart not completely extinguished the fire of love to live and self-reliance, although the man did not come to visit her once in prison! In the end, when she thought that the man she had sworn to was waiting for her to say, "I'm back," she saw that her place had already been taken by another woman. She was once again the one who was left out of the loop!
The man who comes along after that is Ryuuyoichi, the cause of her predicament in the first place. But when she hears that he ''abused'' her because he ''loved'' her in the first place, she forgives him for all the bad things he did and willingly accepts him. All the bad things, and willingly waited for him for another twenty years. But in the end, he can't believe that God really exists in this world, and he's not convinced that this ''God'' is by his side. In the face of flowers and smiles from Matsuko when he was released from prison, he gave a punch in the face!
Matsuko is heartbroken, no one in this cold world accepts her love and no one is willing to give true love to her. Every time she puts down an old love and rekindles her longing for a new one, it is like drinking hemlock to quench her thirst. Instead of being trapped in the cycle of endless repetition, it would be better to turn yourself and your love into a stinky, really disliked "garbage"!
But Matsuko refuses to die, and the last person she falls in love with is a young man who brings youth and hope! To say that she ''fell in love with an idol'' is more apt to say that she ''fell in love with a dream''! ! However, the love letters that she had painstakingly written, so thick that they could not even fit in a mailbox, did not even get half a word back in the end!
When her friend Aoi Mizusawa's business card shows Matsuko the last bit of light to live by, just because Matsuko gave one more word of advice to a middle school student who was returning home late, she was met with a baseball bat slamming her in the back.......
As her brother concludes to her: '' ''Her life is so boring,'' he said! ''Always looking for someone to play with, but no one has ever been willing to reward her for playing with them.'' All her life she had ''laughed at people, cheered them up, loved them, and was herself always bruised and so lonely, completely undressed and stupid to the core." She was dying not understanding that ''the root of her failure in life was to go all in and give up her self-respect for a so-called love she didn't deserve''.
''Boring life''! Yes, her whole life is chasing after love and being loved, and she has never changed, simply and foolishly fighting against others' indifference, using, hurting and disliking, she always seems so redundant, can't bring any substantial changes to others, and is always disturbing other people's lives - she really deserves to die!
The phrase "I'm sorry I was born a human being" is a kind of realization!
The phrase "I'm sorry I was born" should be a realization.