Good lies do not hinder integrity
"Lies" are called "lies" because they are false, untrue and deceitful words. If a person often has a lie in his mouth to deceive others, he will lose people's trust over time. Just like the child in the article "the lying child", every day shouting "the wolf is coming" in order to seek excitement, happy, but when the wolf really comes, he only one person to face independently, to bear by himself, no matter how much shouting will not help, and there will be no one to help him again. The reason is that the people who may come to help him have already gotten used to his shouting, and think that he is "teasing you" again, so it is clear that lies are an obstacle to honesty.
But today, when we talk about "lies," there is a qualifier - good faith, and with this qualifier, the nature of the lie is fundamentally changed. "Goodwill lies" are people's good wishes for things, is the people's good heart of the dialog, is the people comfort each other a warmth, is the people's heart out of a kind of tenderness ...... who will not go to the extent of its credibility, even if the The people who hear the kind lies know that it is a lie, but also the same will go to try to believe, will not feel the hypocrisy of the liar, and sometimes have to be grateful from the heart it.
When a terminally ill patient is sentenced to death by a doctor, his parents, loved ones, children and all his relatives will not directly tell him: "life can not be saved", "the most can still live in the world for a long time" and so on. These words are true. Although this is the truth, who would be so cruel as to tell the truth to a loved one who is already in pain and suffering, just as a judge would pronounce a death sentence on a prisoner? At this point, everyone will form a united front and keep their mouths shut about the truth, while using well-intentioned lies to make the patient hopeful about the treatment, so that the patient can spend the rest of his or her days in a peaceful state of mind. Could this be a hindrance to honesty!
When a child who does not rhyme with the world suddenly suffers a misfortune and loses his relatives, how to explain to him where his relatives have gone. We think the best way is still: do not tell him the real situation for the time being, just say to a very far away place to go on business, or in the foreign study and work and so on. When the child understands, has a certain ability to bear the time, and then to tell the truth, the child will also understand the relatives of the practice, will not be angry because they did not know the truth. Is it possible that such words also hinder the integrity!
When a soldier who is on a mission in the field of the mother is very sick, hot a breath of time, how much hope to see his son one last time ah, but the son is not able to come back, can not do a little bit of filial piety for the old mother, to take care of once for the son of his mother worried about the mother, he was very apologetic, and also very much in his thoughts. And the old mother is very understanding of the son, told the relatives around him, after he left, do not tell the distant son, can not let him distracted, to say that the condition has been stabilized, so that he can rest assured that he is doing his best for the country. Is such a well-intentioned lie a hindrance to integrity!
So, I insist that: not only does the well-intentioned lie not hinder the integrity, but also will greatly enhance the friendship between people and feelings, social stability also has an indelible role. Suggest that we should use the good intentioned lies, and honesty is not a great conflict.
We know that people in this society, burdened with many obligations, and obligations and obligations sometimes there is a contradiction between, when one obligation overrides the other, to alleviate the other obligation. Therefore, the nature of a good lie is a more urgent and important obligation, and this obligation is to alleviate the obligation of good faith at the cost.
A long time ago, a western philosopher once said: there are only two things in this world that can cause a deep vibration in the human heart: one is the brilliant starry sky above us, and the other is the noble moral code in our hearts - integrity. Obviously, there is nothing more beautiful and innocent than the beauty of the heart, and integrity is precisely one of the manifestations of inner beauty. I think the other students from this is not difficult to see, since it is a lie is in the way of integrity, its utility and benefits gained, but ultimately at the expense of integrity.
Here I would like to ask the other student, when a person in the loss of integrity, his starting point is still good intentions?
Please note that the topic of our debate today is whether a well-intentioned lie hinders integrity, not whether a lie hinders integrity.
First of all, the Modern Chinese Dictionary explains "lie" as an untrue word, which is obviously neutral in sentiment. Lying for different purposes will lead to very different results: one out of self-interest to deceive people with cunning and treacherous means, it is a malicious fraud, which will inevitably lead to the decline of social morality and disorder. The other for the purpose of favoring others to hide the real situation, it is a good faith concealment, will make feelings more harmonious, social harmony. Therefore, the difference between good-faith concealment and bad-faith fraud, from the motive to the result, is too great to be confused. When a poor mother left the only meal for her children, while hiding the fact that she is still hungry, do you still want to accuse the good and noble mother love "dishonest"?
Secondly, what is "honesty"? The first is that it is not a good idea to be honest and trustworthy. The ancients have long advocated "sincerity" and "faith", emphasizing the consistency of words and deeds, unity of knowledge and action; the principle of good faith requires people to consciously abide by the law, sincere and trustworthy. But none of them simplistically requires people to tell the truth 100% of the time. Undifferentiated truth is extremely terrible: in war you can our military intelligence to the enemy to tell the truth? Can you tell your business secrets to your rivals in a shopping mall? Therefore, since the principle of good faith does not mean simplistic 100% truth, then when necessary, good faith concealment will not contradict the principle of good faith.
Thirdly, as a correct and friendly way of dealing with the world, the motive, purpose and result of a good lie are all consistent with "integrity". The significance of promoting honesty in society is to cultivate people's noble moral sentiments, establish mutual trust between people, mutual benefit of benign interaction, and those who are full of mercy and compassionate kind of lies used to make the feelings more harmonious, life is more cozy, society is more harmonious. "The way of the university stops at the highest good", out of the same goodwill, the two are closely harmonized with each other.
First, lies are divided into malicious fraud and good faith concealment depending on their essential differences, and the two are not to be confused.
Secondly, "good faith" does not mean 100% truth without specific analysis, under certain circumstances, good faith concealment is not indispensable.
Thirdly, a good-faith lie is consistent with the principle of good faith, from purpose to result.
Therefore, in our opinion: a good faith lie does not impede good faith.
(By:Yu Lu 09/25/09 09:31)
[Positive]:
Hello, moderator and judges!
It is a great pleasure to be here today to give my opinion on the argument of whether good lies are a hindrance to integrity. Here are our views:
The fact that a well-intentioned lie is itself a lie is unquestionable. Lies, lying is cheating, cheating is immoral, immoral things are not popular, these are playing small teachers and elders have been assiduously taught. But we ask ourselves, and who has not told lies? Whether it is to their loved ones, friends, or do not know each other, there are many kinds of purposes, but when we add a "good intentions" to the lie, as if everyone may accept it, which is precisely the weakness of human nature is the focus of the performance.
Mark Twain once said this. Twain once said, "When you can't make up your mind, tell the truth. It will embarrass your opponents and relieve your friends." Therefore, the view of psychologists is: don't lie easily, even if it's a well-intentioned lie.
(By:Wu Yunhui 09/25/09 09:35)
[Moderator]:
Please post the second defense of the positive side (By:Zhang Xuan 09/25/09 09:35)
[Moderator]:
Please post the second defense of the negative side; (By:Zhang Xuan 09/25/09 09:37)
[Opposite side]: <
When a poor mother leaves her children the only food she has, while hiding the fact that she is still hungry, do you still want to accuse the good and noble mother's love of "dishonesty"? In fact, life everywhere we can see the shadow of a well-intentioned lie, from the sick bed before the tears of comfort to politely reject the polite, from the love of the world's sea to the poet's beautiful exaggeration, but they are not so terrible, so that the other side of the defense talk about "lies" and change. (Author: Jiang Yan 09/25/09 09:41)
[Moderator]:
Please post the third defense; (Author: Zhang Xuan 09/25/09 09:42)
[Positive]:
Moderators and judges, good day to you all!
The second defense of the other side, please note that even if it is a well-intentioned lie, but as a lie itself, it is already an act contrary to integrity, so whether the lie is in a good purpose or not, as a lie itself is bound to impede integrity. Therefore, here I would like to raise my voice, let us reject the well-intentioned lies, *** together to build a society of integrity. (Author:Jiang Wenbing 09/25/09 09:43)
[Moderator]:
Please post the third defense of the opposing side; (Author:Zhang Xuan 09/25/09 09:44)
[Opposing side]:
The other side of the first defense in the exposition, it is pointed out that when a person is faced with two kinds of obligations, when contradicting each other to alleviate the other side of the obligations. But the first argument of the positive side did not argue that good lies and honesty are contradictory ah. How can we directly conclude that a good lie must alleviate the obligation of honesty?
Please note that the other side of the defense has clearly stated that the lie itself should have the function of deception, only malicious lies are out of deception, please do not narrow the concept of "lie".
(Author:ChenYueMing 09/25/09 09:47)
[Moderator]:
Please post the fourth defense; (Author:ZhangXuan 09/25/09 09:47)
[Positive side]:
Please be aware of the fact that there is a big omission in your defense. We believe that the first thing to distinguish between things should start from the definition of elaboration, comprehensive KangXi dictionary interpretation, good faith lies is not factual, say false, falsehood, exaggerate, cover up, distort the truth. From the well-intentioned lie phrase structure to start the analysis, it is a partial phrase, the center word is lie, so the well-intentioned lie is essentially a lie. Although the motive of the well-intentioned lies for good intentions, but because of the good intentions itself there is a certain degree of uncertainty, and thus repeatedly by some "professional liars" to take advantage of - this is an indisputable fact. The "lie" itself is dark, the good and bad things are not measured by the purpose of things, the good intention of the lie itself is false. Although it faded away the beggar clothes put on the cheongsam, but still can not get rid of the essence of its lies, and lies mean deception, thus impeding the integrity. The starting point of the lie is good, but often this lie once punctured, the other side of the harm will be deeper, as the lie itself, has been contrary to the integrity of the behavior.
In China **** Central announced the "Citizen Moral Construction Implementation Program" in the proposed 20-word ethical norms, "integrity" is a very important norms, integrity is to seek "true", is the pursuit of justice. The ancients said that "truthfulness" is the most sincere of all. The first time I saw this, it was a very important part of my life, and it was a very important part of my life.
As General Secretary Hu Jintao said in his speech: "The harmonious socialist society we are trying to build should be a society characterized by democracy and the rule of law, fairness and justice, honesty and friendship, vitality, stability and order, and harmony between man and nature."
Through the above multi-faceted analysis, we believe that no matter whether the lie is in a good purpose, as a lie is bound to impede integrity. (Author:Jiang Wenhong 09/25/09 09:49)
[Moderator]:
Please post the fourth defense of the opposing side; (Author:Zhang Xuan 09/25/09 09:50)
[Opposing Side]:
Good intentioned lies and honesty are ethical norms in different categories, and will not be in contradiction, just as a car will not crash into an airplane.
Integrity: faith, Chinese culture, "faith" and "righteousness" constitute "faith and righteousness", is a humanistic spirit, the code of conduct. "Faith" and "sincerity" connected to the formation of "integrity" as a moral norm, is the Poi Lai Pin, modern Western jurisprudence sages put forward the "contractual society The concept of "contract society", the relationship between people are contractual relationships, in such a society, integrity is the bottom line of social morality, China's establishment of a market economy, to establish a standardized and orderly market, integrity has also become the most important criterion. Therefore, the modern sense of "integrity" is the market operation of the moral code.
Goodwill lies, from the starting point and the result of all kinds of goodwill lies, are to protect each other's feelings, to maintain each other's mental health and pleasure, is a kind of humanism. Due to the existence of well-intentioned lies, the world has become a better, more cozy, more harmonious, the world will be full of love, full of sunshine, children grow up healthily, the elderly enjoy their old age, the patient is full of hope.
So, these are two different areas of moral code, will not conflict with each other, contradict each other, good lies will not hinder integrity.
A well-intentioned lie is not a "lie" (a malicious lie), just as a whale in the sea is not a fish, and a mouse is not a rat. (Author: Huang Zongde 09/25/09 09:54)
[Moderator]:
Now we move on to the question period. First of all, please ask the first defense to post a question; (Author:Zhang Xuan 09/25/09 09:54)
[Positive]:
Please note that the first defense is a lie? What is goodwill? That is, good intentions! Why bother to lie?
Lies, although for good intentions, but as a lie itself, has been contrary to the integrity of the behavior, so, whether the lie is in a good purpose or not, as a lie is bound to impede the integrity.
With the spirit of the nation to a twilight look back, it turns out that the integrity of the lights in the end of the place. Across thousands of years, can still clearly hear: integrity is the virtue of the Chinese nation, like the Great Wall is the symbol of the Chinese nation. A person who loses integrity to leave behind is hypocrisy: a business if the loss of integrity will face bankruptcy then machine; and a nation if the loss of integrity will be on the degradation and death!
Keeping faith with the integrity of the integrity of a clean land, keep faith with the integrity of the letter to stay in the letter of success, keep faith with the integrity of the Chinese nation in order to eternal.
Here I would like to ask the other students, when a person in the loss of integrity, his starting point or good intentions?
(Author:Xu Jingyan 09/25/09 09:56)
[Moderator]:
Please answer the first defense of the opposing side, question (Author:Zhang Xuan 09/25/09 09:57)
[Moderator]:
Grab the answer (Author:Zhang Xuan 09/25/09 10:02)
[Opposing side].
Please note to the opposing defender that the topic we are debating today in my defense is whether good lies impede integrity, rather than discussing whether dishonest people still have good intentions. Please get the cause and effect logic right. The other side of the defense said that both is a lie how to goodwill, whether the existence of goodwill lies expressed doubt, since there is no goodwill lies our discussion today is still meaningful? (Author: Yu Lu September 25, 10:03)
[Moderator]:
Please answer the question (Author: Zhang Xuan September 25, 10:03)
[Positive]:
No need, why are we sitting here and debating?
The so-called well-intentioned lies can also lead to unforeseen consequences. An example of this is the case of a person who is terminally ill and is kept in the dark by family and friends in order to live out the rest of his life in peace, with no malice or self-interest whatsoever, but it often fails to live up to the expectations, and the deception is not sustained; instead, the patient loses his sanity to cooperate with the treatment and the time to take care of his personal affairs. The female philosopher Sisera? Polk warned that such lies can place a person on the verge of a major personality slide. In her book, Lying, Moral Choices in Public **** and Private Life, she writes: " Psychological barriers are removed, the ability to discern truth from falsehood becomes more blurred, and the notion that a lie will not be detected may tend toward paranoia..." Some psychologists who have studied the phenomenon of lying suggest that anyone who wants to tell a " well-intentioned lie" to a friend, relative, or coworker would do well to consider a question that involves a psychological reaction, i.e., whether the other person will thank you for your good intentions if he or she learns the truth, or whether he or she will feel that his or her long-standing trust in you has been hurt by you. (Author:Wu Yunhui Sep 25, 10:07)
[Moderator]:
Please answer the second defense of the opposing side and ask the question (Author:Zhang Xuan Sep 25, 10:07)
[Opposing side]:
The opposing side has already acknowledged the existence of well-intentioned lies. Family and friends do not interfere with treatment, in fact they are for the better, and stress only affects the condition. A mother divorced her husband when the child didn't know any better, and this mother told the child that your father was a seaman and was now abroad and would be back in a few days. The child was full of expectations of life and never suffered or felt inferior because of the lack of a member of his family - his father. Later, when the mother found a new husband and started a new family, she told the child: Your father is back from abroad. As a result, there was no gap between the child and his father, and the father treated the child as if he were his own because the child did not see him as a stranger. The father also treated the child as if he were his own. He tutored the child every day, and the child grew up healthily and became a student of a famous university. When one day the child graduates from college, she finally realizes that her father is not her real father, and although she also cries and is distressed that she has been deceived, he will eventually understand that his mother was right to do so, otherwise she would not have had a happy childhood, a healthy mind, good academic achievements, a happy family, a... ...(so much more).
Please ask the other apologist to ask himself, who in the world would doubt the character and integrity of the other party because of a well-intentioned lie? (Author:Jiang Yan Sep 25 10:15)
[Moderator]:
Please answer the third defense of the positive side, question (Author:Zhang Xuan Sep 25 10:16)
[Positive Side]:
"Well-intentioned lies are more excuses" !
Anyone who uses an excuse wants to use it to protect themselves or others. To help us save face so we can endure frustration.
Gesmer said, "It is quite common to think that you are better than you really are." The excuses people come up with are sometimes unexpected. Why do people delude themselves? The American humorist Laidlaw noted, "Most people live not in reality but in fantasy, especially about themselves." Then again, knowing the truth about yourself and your friends is sometimes so brutal that it's best not to know.
Yet most excuses are destructive. Using excuses unconsciously can fool others, if not yourself. So I ask the other person to realize that more honesty and less excuses! At the same time I would like to ask the other side, if we all have this view, how can we create a society of integrity and how can we make our country grow more in integrity?
(By:Jiang Wenbing September 25, 10:24)
[Moderator]:
Please answer the third defense of the opposing side and ask the question (By:Zhang Xuan September 25, 10:25)
[Opposite]:
People always habitually give a derogatory meaning to lies. This is because of the crisis of integrity in today's society, in fact, lies are neutral. Even if today's society puts forward the integrity of morality, there is no requirement to speak the truth in all kinds of circumstances, do not allow the existence of lies, good faith lies are not "lies" (malicious lies), and integrity is not contradictory, there is room for its existence, if we do not like the word "lies," the word "lies" will be used to describe lies. If you don't like the word "lie", we can mind linguists to create another word, such as "false words", "euphemism" to express the meaning of good faith lies.
Good lies leave behind the ugly and come into the beautiful world!
The lie of goodwill, abandoned selfishness, and came to the honesty of the earth!
Please ask the other side of the defense to give examples, who has been hurt because of the good intentions of the lie? Caused a loss of integrity?
(By:ChenYueMing September 25, 10:29)
[Moderator]:
Please answer the question from the fourth defense of the positive side (By:ZhangXuan September 25, 10:29)
[Positive side]:
You didn't answer the question of the third defense of the positive side positively. I think that even if a lie is well-intentioned, the negative effects are many. There is no need to give examples. This negative impact on the integrity of the damage is often more insidious, is a kind of chronic poisoning. Ignoring this toxicity is a cover-up. I would like to ask the other side of the debate, you say that the good faith lies and integrity are two categories, please you on the good faith lies to accurately define a definition? (Author: Jiang Wenhong September 25, 10:36)
[Moderator]:
Please answer the question (Author: Zhang Xuan September 25, 10:39)
[Opposite]:
The third defense said, "A well-intentioned lie is more like an excuse". Does this statement require an argument? Can it be directly quoted without argument? The third defense directly argues the harm of "excuses", there is a serious logical error. At the same time, I found that the other side of the defense in a number of logical errors, here, not to mention.
We asked for examples, but the other side said that examples abound, and still did not give a single example.
Good-faith lies are known to everyone and are not a new concept, so why define them?
The third defense has repeatedly emphasized that well-intentioned lies are chronic poisonings and have a hidden nature, but it has not made a rigorous argument, nor has it cited an example, but has directly jumped to a conclusion, which we cannot agree with.
Please ask the other side of the defense, how exactly does a well-intentioned lie destroy integrity?
(Written by Huang Zongde on Sep 25 10:46)
[Moderator]:
Please answer the question (Written by Zhang Xuan on Sep 25 10:47)
[Positive side]:
Greetings, Mr. Zhang Hui!
Thank you very much for your trust and support! We will definitely live up to the expectations of all teachers and students． (Author: Jiang Wenhong September 25, 10:52)
[Moderator]:
Answer (Author: Zhang Xuan September 25, 10:53)
[Positive]:
When the two people are in love, both sides promise never to change their hearts, but later broke up, this was a well-intentioned lie at the time, and then the victimized party was seriously hit. The victimized party was hit hard. The question of whether 1+1=2 is something that we in this community need to continue to argue is a very simple one. It's a very simple question, just like the idea that lies are excuses. Japan's disregard for historical facts and distortion of history is strongly condemned by most Asian people. When the President of Germany piously made a confession to the victims of World War II, he got not only the Nobel Peace Prize, but also the understanding and tolerance of the people of the world.
If a country and a nation can always treat and evaluate objective things with a fair heart, then it will definitely create an honest and clean atmosphere, instead of a vicious circle of deceit.
Premier Zhu?Fiji pointed out in the government's work report at the fifth meeting of the Ninth National People's Congress that it is necessary to "effectively strengthen the construction of social credit, and gradually form a good culture of honesty and integrity in the whole society". Sincerity is an important part of China's traditional morality, but also the current and future period to maintain the normal operation of the economy, promote institutional innovation, rectify and standardize the market economic order of the root cause of the action. At present, with the rapid development of economy and society and the transmutation of people's values, the lack of credit in some fields and individuals has increasingly become a social nuisance, which must be taken seriously. As the other side of the first defense said, lies are not good intentions, and lies are impediments to integrity, may I ask the other side of the defense, what is integrity? What is lacking in our society? (By: Xu Jingyan September 25, 10:54)
[Moderator]:
The question period is over, and the free debate will now begin. Please have the positive side post first. (Author: Zhang Xuan September 25, 10:55)
[Positive]:
We believe that so-called kind lies are a hindrance to integrity, but of course the lies here are not the shocking hoaxes that people usually talk about, but simply lies that pretend to affirm or support (but don't actually agree with) the practices, opinions, or viewpoints of one's spouse, relatives, and friends.
Here's an example of a company manager in Southern California named Tom. Tom goes to his mother-in-law's house every year with his wife and his son for Thanksgiving. He actually dislikes one of his mother-in-law's "specialty" pumpkin pies, but tells her how delicious her pie is so as not to hurt her feelings. "Is that wrong?" Tom asked during his counseling session with his therapist. It's a question that quite a few people ask. This psychologist asked him to look at the lie from his mother-in-law's point of view. Suppose one day Tom's son spilled the beans in front of his grandmother and the mother-in-law found out how Tom really felt, would she tell Tom, "Thank you for your kindness?" Or would she feel emotionally hurt and say, "How could you mislead me like that all these years? What else have you been hiding from me?" And, what kind of questions will Tom's mother-in-law have about herself? Is Tom's son going to imitate his father's lying? What will he think of his father's character? Will he ever believe anything his father says again?
A novelist once wrote, "The first time we try to lie, we are caught in a web of disorder of our own making."
We believe that the opposite side has a fundamental error in the understanding of some concepts, integrity is based on mutual honesty, any deception, even the so-called "good faith" lies can be said to be completely with the "integrity" of the sad road and flaccid. About the concept of "goodwill" lies I think there is no need to argue here, has been analyzed very clearly. (By: Wu Yunhui September 25, 10:56)
[Positive]:
The pursuit of honesty and integrity has been revered in ancient times. History back to 359 BC, the Qin Dynasty, Shang Yang legislation in order to honesty to enrich the country and strengthen the army. The story of the "South Gate Wood" was played out. Ten years after the implementation of Shang Yang's law, "the people of Qin were very happy, no one would pick up the road, no thieves in the mountains, and the family had enough to feed the people". Now that China has joined the WT0 and the market economy is growing, if we let the counterfeiting and loss of credibility, it will cause great harm to the economic life and bring disastrous consequences to the social life, and the loss of trust will surely erode the trust between people like a plague, hindering the pace of the socialist market economy. Looking back at the pain, effectively advocate honesty, punishment of breach of trust, and improve the credit code of ethics and credit legal system, has been urgent and urgent
Please ask the positive side of the friend, lies, where is the goodwill, both lies will hinder the integrity of the other side of the debaters, honesty, what is it? What does our society need? (By: Xu Jingyan September 25, 10:59)
[Moderator]:
The other side back to the post ah (By: Zhang Xuan September 25, 10:59)
[Opposite]:
The other side of the example of the defense, the lovers in love with each other promised to never change their hearts, but then broke up, this is not a goodwill lie, but a malicious lie. It is a deception of the other party's emotion, which cannot support the fact that malicious lies are deceptive. (By:Yu Lu September 25, 11:00)
[Positive side]:
We must reject lies and insist on honesty. How can we avoid the embarrassment encountered by the opposite side in our working life? Our side thought:
Reject it at the beginning, and the embarrassing situation later will not occur. We are now living in times when candor is unpopular.
"Don't you dare say that the lady next door is wearing an ugly hat, you hear me?"
"You're going to tell your new homeroom teacher 'I'm so glad you're our homeroom teacher'!"
We don't say similar things that we think from the bottom of our hearts, but we pick nice things to say to each other that don't make people sad. This is because we believe that you can't live without good lies.
Let's look at this from the opposite perspective, shall we? Someone is wearing a very ugly hat, and we can truthfully tell people that it really isn't very nice. This is because always telling good lies can also get you into trouble. Therefore, it is important to learn when to tell the truth and when to tell a well-intentioned lie, or it will lead to the result of not being able to tell the truth from the lie.
For example, suppose you receive a birthday invitation from a not-so-close friend over the weekend, and you don't want to go, but refuse and fear that the other person will be angry, and promise to be ambiguous. Time passes quickly, and it's almost time for your friend's birthday, you still don't want to go, and now you've found a reason to tell the other person that you can't go. Think about it, how will the other side look at you? The other side can definitely see that you are reluctant to go, and will be very angry.
You didn't say no in the first place, but you made your friend angry. What if you had made it clear when you were invited?
"I'm very happy to be invited, but I can't go because I'm in town that day."
If you had refused at the beginning, there would not have been the embarrassment that followed.
(By:Jiang Wenbing September 25, 11:01)
[Opposite]:
Deception is definitely a lie, and a lie is not necessarily deception.
There are two kinds of lies, malicious and well-intentioned. Lying is a human instinct, and the key to good faith lies in the type of lie. Then malicious lies can certainly be said to be deception, malicious lies are for the benefit of the liar, with a strong desire for profit, weak rationality, others as a target, at the expense of harming others behavior, is a kind of damage to the behavior of the performance of others. The wrong-minded people, no matter how to disguise, how rhetoric, how to rack their brains for their own malicious lies crowned with good intentions of the high hat, the lies they say are with malicious purposes. But the lie of good faith is not, it is out of good motives, to safeguard the interests of others for the purpose and starting point. Kindness of the nature of the lie itself determines that it is not malicious, but in the heart of the sincerity of the good, based on the goodness of the people themselves in a certain state of "forced" to say the lie is kind, this lie is a kind of friendly to the subject, a kind of concern. This lie is also a way of life, is a reflection of the quality of thinking for others obviously, the good faith lies do not hinder the integrity. The world without lies is like the earth without dust, it does not exist, the key is how we go to utilize it. Kind lies do not hinder integrity.
(By Chen Yueming September 25, 11:02)
Reference: