Jokes and epigrams about harmonicas.

Jokes are words that make people laugh. I have some here

Super funny ！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！ Very happy to answer your question, hope it helps ！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

On the first day of school,the teacher asked Xiao Ming, "Xiao Ming,1+1=?" Xiaoming said, "I don't know." The teacher said, "Then go home and ask your family." Xiao Ming went to ask his mom, who was arguing with someone else, and Xiao Ming asked, "Mom 1+1=?" Mom said, "Son of a bitch!" Xiao Ming knows that 1+1 = son of a bitch; Xiao Ming goes to ask his dad, who is drinking beer, and Xiao Ming asks, "Dad 1+1=?" Dad said, "Cool!" Xiao Ming again know 1+1 = cool; Xiao Ming again go to ask grandpa, grandpa is watching TV, Xiao Ming asked: "Grandpa 1+1 =?" Grandpa said, "Gangster!" Xiaoming knew that 1+1=Mob Boss; Xiaoming went to ask his sister, who was singing the national anthem: Rise up people who don't want to be slaves! Xiao Ming knew that 1+1=Rise up people who don't want to be slaves; Xiao Ming went to ask his sister, who was singing a children's song: Bunny Be Good and Open the Door! Ming knew that 1+1=Bunny open the door. The next day, the teacher asked, "Xiao Ming 1+1=?" Ming said, "Son of a bitch." "The teacher slapped Xiao Ming and Xiao Ming said, "Cool." The teacher said inexplicably, "Who taught you that?" Ming said, "The gangster." The teacher was startled and asked, "What are you doing, Xiaoming?" Xiao Ming sang, "Rise up people who don't want to be slaves. The teacher shut Xiao Ming out of the door, Xiao Ming knocked on the door and sang: little rabbit good boy open the door. The teacher fainted

I give the owner a I feel this is very cold cold joke. I give two ooh! Should be too classic!

1, female: wear it!

Male: do not wear more cool.

Female: wear a safe point.

Male: trust my skills.

Female: do not wear on you.

Male: do not wear like a man.

Woman: you are not annoying! Riding a motorcycle wearing a helmet will die ah?

2, A, B, C, D, that a word the coolest? ==>D (thong)

Having worked hard for most of my life, I finally bought a house in the suburbs of Beijing.

On the day of the payment, I pulled out my cell phone with trembling hands in tears and prepared to tell my family.

Who knows, the opening screen showed: Hebei Mobile Welcome!

Responders: E E but the Ao - Primary Wizard Level 3 2009-10-21 23:18

Reporting One day, you walk in the forest,

Suddenly, a big bear appeared from behind you

This time, you found it, run away

The bear also chased after it

You hope the most later will be how:.

A The bear catches up with you and eats you

B You run as fast as the bear and eventually get out of the forest, and the bear gives up the chase

C You run faster than the bear and lose it

Respondent: SoftIceCream - Career Newcomer Level 3 2009-10-21 23:22

Reporting The story of Haha and Hip-Hip

One day

Haha and Hip-Hip went out to go shopping

The car came. p>The car came. It killed Haha

Hip cried: Haha, Haha, Haha,, you're dead

Respondent: Water Fish Recruitment - Little Fame Level 5 2009-10-22 07:11

Reporting Miss, can I admire your panties?

Respondent: jay_h1218 - Lieutenant Grade 8 2009-10-22 11:10

Prosecution Once upon a time there was a snail.... One day while walking, he suddenly farted... Guess what?

Shell chipped off? Wrong...

The answer is...

Of course you keep walking after you fart! Or else yell: Hey guys, check it out, I farted!

Responders: Watermelon Wanderer - Book Boy Level 1 2009-10-22 13:00

Reporting Once upon a time, a glass and a coffee cup were walking down the road, and a truck honked its horn on the road, but why was the glass shattered while the coffee cup didn't break?

----------------------------

Because the coffee cup has ears, the glass has no ears (handle)

Responders: coveted and then teenagers - interns first class 2009-10-22 20:53

The story must be told slowly, for example, you're A, listen to the person is B

A: Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a bear, he was a polar bear, he was bored, super bored, so he plucked the hairs on his body to play, one plucked, one plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked, and then another plucked. One, then another, then another, then another .....

B was speechless and a little impatient

A:Do you think this story is cold?

B: It's not cold

A: But the polar bear thinks it's cold!

Friend

Do you know why Panasonic is not as strong as Sony?

Because Panasonic (afraid of Sony brother)

Review The origin of the joke is said to be this story: a little penguin asked his grandmother one day, "Grandma, Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin then asked his dad, "Dad, dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong?" "But, but why do I feel so cold?"

Kind of nonsensical, kind of boring, to put it nicely, kind of postmodernist. Modern people got tired of telling those primitive jokes, got bored of hearing them, and came up with all this cold stuff.

Small White is a lot like his brother, you know why?

Because: really like the big white

2, a polar bear stayed alone on the ice, really boring to start pulling their own hair to play, a ...... two ...... three... ... the last plucked one not left, he suddenly shouted ............ so cold ah! ..................

3, there is a person who looks like an onion, walking and crying

4, a hot summer day, two bananas walking on the road.

Walking in front of the banana suddenly felt so hot, he said, so hot oh, I want to take off the clothes.

The banana in front of him felt hot, and he said, "It's hot, I'll take my clothes off.

The banana behind him fell down.

5. There's a hide-and-seek club, and the head of the group hasn't found it yet.

6. What's a two-finger V? What is it? It's a yay~~Hands shaking and shaking down, what is it? It's a falling leaf! hahaha,I'm laughing my ass off

7.Stretching four fingers,

is how many?

FOUR,

Bend four fingers,

what is it?

WONDERFUL~!

8, millionaires driving a luxury stretch "Lincoln" sedan through a village, saw two beggars on the side of the road is pulling grass to eat, the millionaire then stopped the car.

"Why are you eating grass?"

"We really don't have any money ......" A beggar replied.

"Really, get in the car and go to my house."

"I have a wife and two children at home ......" A beggar muttered.

"Get them here.1 The rich man pointed to another beggar. "And you, call your family too."

"My family can be very large, besides my wife, I have five children." The other beggar said.

"It's okay, call all of them, go1

In this way, the two beggars and their families got into the car, good thing it was a stretch car. Exercise on the way, a beggar's wife said gratefully, "boss, you people really good, even poor people like us you can invite home ."

The millionaire replied, "Nothing, I just came back from abroad, the family house has been left unattended, the yard lawn may be more than a meter high, you guys can have a good meal.

9. Once upon a time there was a bread walking down the street, and he felt hungry, so he ate himself

Once upon a time there was a marshmallow who went to play ball for a long time. He said, "I'm so tired, I feel like I'm going limp."

10. Once upon a time there was a little lamb, and one day he went out to play, and he ran into the Big Bad Wolf.

The big bad wolf said, "I'm going to eat you!!!"

Guess what happened?

As a result, the big bad wolf ate the lamb

11, there is a generation gap and there is no cleavage, - this communication will be difficult.

12, the wolf, the tiger and the lion who play the game will certainly be eliminated? Wolf, because: Momotaro (eliminating the wolf)

13, When will Chen Shui-bian want unification? When he buys instant noodles.

14: Why are silkworms rich? Because ..... Silkworms can make cocoons (thrifty)

15, which for historical figure is the most owed? Su Wu, because: Su Wu shepherds the northern seashore (by the sea flat)

16, Xiaoming new haircut, the next day came to school, his classmates saw his new hairstyle, laughed: Xiaoming, your head shape seems to be a kite oh! Xiao Ming felt very aggrieved, so he ran outside and cried. He cried and cried. He flew up.

17. One day, the three little pigs built three huts to hide from the big bad wolf. The Big Bad Wolf had no trouble blowing up the grass hut, the wooden hut, and the brick hut, and the three little pigs ran as hard as they could, but they were still being chased by the Big Bad Wolf. The three little pigs said in despair, "You do as you please. We give up, as you how. At this point, the Big Bad Wolf smiled wryly and said, "

Then tell me where Little Red Riding Hood is!

18, the stone and rice cake fight, a angry rice cake kicked into the sea...

Tell a story, once upon a time there is a pair of lovers private life, but the boys need to serve in the military, they and the girl made a vow, gave the girl a diamond ring, and promised that three years later today and the girl to meet, then, that ring as a wedding ring. Hardly 3 years have passed, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but has not been waiting, she was too sad, desperate she threw the diamond ring into the sea, far away from home. However, the boy in fact has been waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood the date, so it will be forever a regret. The boy was heartbroken... A few years later, the boy went fishing, and guess what he caught?

20. The diver's maneuver was so difficult that he did a triple front flip and three-and-a-half front flips followed by a back flip for a month.

21, my friend Li Shanshi and I just moved, there is no TV at home, two people are very bored. We pretended that there was a TV on the table, and then the two pretended to have a remote control in their hands and were able to change the channel. This son of a bitch kept changing the channel, I said he, he did not listen, and then we fought.

22, an egg to go to the teahouse to drink tea, as a result it became a tea egg; an egg ran to the Songhua River to swim, as a result of which it became a pine egg; there is an egg ran to the Shandong Province, as a result of which it became a Lu (brine) eggs; there is an egg homeless, as a result of which it became a wild egg; there is an egg accidentally fell on the road to the cross, fell to the ground, and the result was turned into a missile; there is an egg ran into people's yards, and it turned into an atomic bomb; an egg ran to the Tibetan plateau, and it turned into a hydrogen bomb; an egg got sick, and it turned into a bad egg; an egg married someone, and it turned into an asshole; an egg ran to the river to swim, and it turned into a nuclear bomb; an egg ran to the flowers, and it turned into a flower girl; an egg rode a horse and held a knife, and it turned out that he was a sword and horse Dan; and it turned out that he was a sword and horse Dan; and it turned out that he was a sword and horse Dan. It turned out that he was a sword and horse; there was an egg that was female and ugly, and it turned out to be a dinosaur egg; there was an egg that was male, and his wife was committing adultery with another egg outside, and it turned out that he became a son of a bitch; there was an egg ......

23, once upon a time, there is a person surnamed Cai, everyone called him Xiao Cai.

The result...

One day, he just got served!

24、Once upon a time there was a bird,

who passed by a cornfield every day,

but unfortunately,

one day there was a fire in that cornfield,

and all the corn turned to popcorn!!!!

After the bird flew over ......

Thinking it's snowing, it's freezing...

25. Xiao Ming:Have you ever seen a turtle shake its head?

Kangkang shook his head)No

Small Ming:Then have you ever heard the story of the idiot who said yes

, the moron who said no, and the retard who didn't say

words

Kangkang:.............

26. A journalist is going to the North Pole to visit 100 penguins.

He asked the first penguin what his hobby was. The first penguin said: Eat. Sleeping. Playing "knock knock".

The reporter was puzzled and asked what is "thumping"? The penguin left without saying anything. The reporter thought "Okay, I won't tell you". He asked the second penguin what his hobby was. The second penguin said: Eat. Sleeping. Playing "knock knock". How come it's playing "knock knock" again? The reporter muttered in his mind. From the first penguin we interviewed to the 99th penguin, their usual interest was to eat. Sleeping. Knock knock.

Until the 100th penguin.

The reporter asked the penguin what his interests were.

The 100th penguin: Eating. Sleeping.

The reporter thought it was strange, so she asked the penguin: Why don't you play knock knock?

The 100th penguin: ''Because I'm a dong-dong''

27. The coffee cup and the water cup were crossing the street together, and at this time, a grandpa shouted, "Be careful, it's a red light now". But after a while, the coffee cup crossed the road smoothly, but the water cup was hit by a truck and the water flowed into the injection, may I ask why

key: because the coffee cup has "ears", the water cup does not have 5555555555555555555555 ^ ^

28, the straw boat in the

Lu Su : "Can we really borrow arrows this way? Mr. Kong Ming?"

George Liang: "Trust me."

Lu Su: "But I'm still a little worried ......"

Ge Liang: "There's no need."

Lu Su: "But don't you think it's getting hotter and hotter in the ship?"

Ge Liang: "In that case it's a bit of a hindrance...is something wrong?"

Lu Su: "Yeah, I'm worried that the enemy is shooting rockets ......"

Zhuge Liang: "Hey! Zi Jing￣￣ Do you know how to swim￣￣￣ I don't￣￣￣"

29, all the soldiers: "Thirsty......thirsty......"

< p>Cao Cao: "Everyone hold on a little longer! I've been to this place before, and I remember there's a plum forest nearby, so if we walk a little further, we might be there"

Soldiers: "Oh ￣￣￣￣ there's plums to eat￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣>>

Half an hour later- -Cao Ren: "My Lord! The expedition has found a large amount of water!"

Cao Cao: "Hahahahaha, did you hear that? There's finally water to drink"

The soldiers: "No go ...... must find Plum ......"

30, Sable Cicada: ".................."

Dong Zhuo:" .................."

Lv Bu: "I just want to hear a sincere word from you, the two of us you actually love which one more!?"

Diaochan: ".................."

Dong Zhuo: ".................."

Lv Bu: "Answer me! !"

Dong Zhuo: "It's really hard to decide ah ￣￣￣￣ like both ￣￣￣￣"

Lv Bu: "Scum ￣￣￣￣!!!" --According to the examination, the first BL love murder case in Chinese history was born in the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty ......

Which one do you like to choose yourself ......

Why are silkworms very rich? ==>Because it makes a cocoon (thrifty)

2. Why doesn't the white rabbit marry the zebra? ==> Because the rabbit's mother said that tattoos are not good

3. btw when can we unify? ==>When you buy instant noodles(Unified Instant Noodles)

4. What line does the monkey dislike? ==>Parallel lines (because they don't intersect <bananas>)

5. Chocolate and tomato fight, why does chocolate win? ==> Because chocolate is awesome

6. What happens when a shark eats a green bean? What happens when a shark eats mung beans? ==> It turns into mung bean paste

7. What happens when a match burns and goes to the hospital? ===>Cotton swabs

8. How did Lin Daiyu die? ==> fell to his death (the sky fell a sister Lin)

9. A pig said: "Come on ah", playing a food? ==> chocolate

10. potato stabbed bun fatal knife, how? ==>Turned into a bean paste (kill) bag

11. What animal favorite posted on the wall? ==> Seal (newspaper)

12. Why do foxes often fall? ==> because foxes are very cunning (slippery feet)

13. 4 people in the house to play mahjong, police came why take away 5 people ==> because they play the people called "mahjong"

14. When do you like to drink soda? ==> When you're lonely (when you're lonely you think about soda)

15. What happened to an egg that went to a teahouse for tea? ==> it turned into a tea egg

16. There is a buck, it walks, walks faster and faster, and finally how? ==> it became a highway

17. One day green beans suicide jumped from the fifth floor, bleeding a lot, how? ==> turned into a red bean

18. Why do airplanes fly so high without hitting the stars? ==> because the stars will flash ah

19. Corn want to pursue fashion, go perm, the results of how? ==> turned into popcorn

20. What mouse walks on two feet? ==> Mickey Mouse

21. What duck walks on two feet? ==> All ducks walk on two feet (is not trying to say Donald Duck)

22. Miss business is not good, why? ==>Bird flu

23. What kind of people can not work in the gas station? ==>Oil tone (oil gun slip off) people

24. dumplings are for boys or girls? ==>Boys because dumplings have a wrapper

25. A man in a golden dress ==>A man of surprises

26. A bee stung on a wall calendar ==>The wind (bee) and the sunshine (calendar)

27. A bear came by ==>Prepared to come (have bear come)

28. Cell phones don't Can not fall into the toilet ==> the opportunity is not lost (wet)

29. There are ten sheep, nine squatting in the sheep pen ==> Iyiwa Tengtong (a sheep squatting wrong)

30. How to make the sparrow quiet down? ==> Press it a bit (crows and noises)

31. What is a transparent sword? ==> invisible (sword)

32. African cannibalism chiefs eat what, A: eat people, the chief to eat vegetarian? ==>Eat plants

33. Why are there no dinosaurs now? ==> Dinosaurs go to the movies

34. White is very much like his brother, know why?

35. How about an egg that goes swimming in the Songhua River?

36. There is an egg ran to Shandong, how? ==> became Lu (brine) eggs

37. There is an egg homeless, how? ==> turned into a wild egg

38. There is an egg on the road accidentally fell a cross, fell to the ground, how?

39. There is an egg ran into the flowers, how? ==> turned into a flower girl

40. There is an egg to the Dead Sea swimming, how? ==> turned into a salty egg Superman

41. Xiaoming and Xiaohua went to the beach to race to tell jokes, after finishing jokes, they died, why? ==> Because the tsunami (laughs)

42. Why does Hanzi not go out? ==> Because once you go out, you become a layman

43. Why can't you see God's penis? ==>Heaven's opportunity (sky chicken) can not be revealed

44. Why is there only one tip of the iceberg? ==> Because the other corner was broken by the Titanic

45. How do you keep a duck from flying away?

46. Who doesn't have a telephone? ==>Tianyi (Tianyi seamless phone)

47. Maccabee once said to me privately: "Blunt to the extreme point of the knife is the most lethal", why? ==> because it is a hammer

48. Chang'e why rush to the moon? ==> Houyi shot nine days, even if the gods he can not stand ah

49. Black, white, yellow, red four people on the plane, who will be dizzy opportunity to vomit? ==> white rabbit (vomit)

50. There is a fat man jumped from a high building, what happened? ==> into a dead fat

51. There are two people fell into the trap, the dead people called dead people, live people called what? ==>Help

52. Eraser, tiger skin, lion skin which one is the worst? ==>Eraser (eraser poor)

53. cloth and paper afraid of what? ==> not (cloth) afraid of 10,000, only (paper) afraid of what if

54. The following appearance of this guest is the pride of our Chinese men, is a singer, you guess who?

55. Which song has "Coco Lee" in the lyrics? ==>The Moon Represents My Heart (Coco Lee How Deeply I Love You)

56. Why does Harry Potter live in a light bulb? ==> Because Harry Potter is a wizard (tungsten filament)

57. What unicorn is the most delicious? ==> Ice cream

58. What unicorn is the fastest? ==>Michelin

59. The cause of constipation ==>Stallone (shit is too thick)

60. The city and the countryside, where the river is more rapid? ==> the countryside, because the countryside river is too rapid (each other too rapid)

61. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, C, that a word the coolest? ==>D(thong)

62. There is a room where pigeons will hide ==>I'm hiding your song on the roof (pigeon)

63. What is the one thing you have to do at 12 o'clock at night? ==> Clutching, because the time to clasp the Buddha's feet

64. police, hooligans, soldiers, that person is the thinnest? ==>Hooligans (Professor Hooligan - thinner)

65. There is an idiot on the plane, the plane toilet removed to throw out, guess why? ==> Because he is an idiot

66. How many brothers does Aladdin have? ==> three (Ara A, Ara B, Ara C)

67. A group of eunuchs chatting, guess an idiom ==> Nonsense (no chicken talk)

68. ==> 100 million (one heart)

69. The sun, the moon, the stars which is dumb? ==>Stars (Stars in the sky do not speak - Rubin)

69. What is the last name of the pencil? ==> Xiao, sharpening (Xiao) pencil

70. What color is the best imitation? Red (mill) mimicry

71. Who will help you add food when you are full? ==> Flying Dragon Well, because Flying Dragon in the (sky) Tim

72. A puppy traveling in the desert, and died, how did he die? ==> He was suffocated, because there are no poles in the desert to pee

A puppy traveling in the desert, found poles, but ended up suffocating, why?

A puppy traveling in the desert finds a utility pole with nothing on it and dies anyway, why? ==> Many puppies in line, did not wait

A puppy traveling in the desert, found a telephone pole, did not stick anything on it, queuing up, but still suffocated, why? ==> Because behind are two beautiful dog MM, he was embarrassed

73. Wolf, tiger and lion who play the game will be eliminated? ==> Wolf, because - Momotaro (eliminated the wolf)

74. Which historical figure is the most unpopular? ==> Su Wu shepherds the sheep north of the sea (by the sea flat)

75. Which historical figure is the fastest runner? ==> Cao Cao

76. Cars can fly, please guess a drink ==> coffee (Car fly)

77. Before a steamed bun, ate a meatball, how? ==> change the buns

78. Forget the water is who gives? ==>Aha ("Aha, give me a cup of forgetfulness")

79. There is a white cat and a black cat, the white cat fell into the water, the black cat to save it up, the white cat to the black cat said a sentence what? ==>Meow

80. Xiao Ming's grandfather sang while brushing his teeth, why? ==>He was brushing his false teeth

81. How much does a star weigh in the sky? ==>Eight grams (starbucks)

82.tw is part of China (playing a name of the herb) ==>Angelica sinensis

83.Jade Emperor sneeze (playing a name of the city) ==>Tianjin

84.Why do geese fly to the south in the fall? Why do geese fly to the south in the fall? ==> If you walk, it's too slow

85. The farmer raised 10 cows, only 19 horns, why? ==> There is a rhinoceros

86. Fat is a famous diving athlete, but one day he stood on the diving board, but did not dare to jump down, why? ==> because there is no water below

87. A cab on the highway driving normally, and did not violate any traffic rules, but was a police to stop, why? ==>The police want to take the taxi

88. What kind of chicken has no wings? ==>Chickens

89. What's the most comfortable way to beat something that doesn't take much effort? ==>Dozing

90.What is a product whose manufacturing date and expiration date are the same? ==>Newspaper

91.What book can't you buy in a bookstore? ==>Posthumous books

92. The best-selling book? ==A spider fell in love with a butterfly, but the butterfly rejected it, why? ==>My mom said, all day in the network are not good people

94. panda y in love with the deer, love was rejected, why? ==> deer timidly said: my mom said, wearing sunglasses are bad boys

95. zoo meeting who did not go to participate? ==> lion (because the lion "lost" to contact)

96. fat man sitting in a sedan chair (playing a place name) ==> Yugoslavia (difficult to die Lav)

97. toilet (playing the name of a Hong Kong female artist) ==> Karen Mok (reason: Mok smell smell)

98. grandpa, dad, brother, who listened to his mother's words will shed tears? ==> Grandpa (night and day) remembered mom's words, flashing tears

99. There are two bees very much in love, and then the female bee married a spider why? ==> because the female bee loves the Internet

100. daytime good, night sad (playing a building) ==> One Tree Bridge

101. show business which star is stuttering? ==>Fan Weiqi (because ...... Fan Weiqi: "Hello everyone, I'm Fan Fan Weiqi")

102: If there is a car, Xiao Ming is the driver, and Xiaohong is the passenger, then who owns the car? ==> "If" ah! "

103: What did the unicorn become at the North Pole?

103: What does the unicorn become at the North Pole?

104: McDonald's and KFC, which is older? ==> KFC ah! Because the image of KFC is a grandfather, while McDonald's is an uncle.

Responders: Blue Pine River - Corporal 3rd Class 2009-10-28 14:46

1. Why are silkworms rich? ==> because it will cocoon (thrifty)

2. Why the white rabbit did not marry the zebra? ==>Because the rabbit's mother said that tattoos are not good