The sun is thinning in the west, the evening half of the sky, the city side of the clouds, such as dust dispersed, although there is a lingering, but also in the sunset slowly haggard, aging.
Along the periphery of the square slowly paced, turned to the east, I met the same walk San.
The third brother is a colleague of the unit, when he first went to work, he was the leader of the full-time driver, later because of the work adjustment, consecutively did the city management, transportation, town office forestry supervisor. By virtue of the young and strong when the society broke the name, the supervisor of the work to do a good job.
Met in the square, but can not see the three brother's former style. A quasi-retiree's typical casual stroll dress, on the back is a leisure bag, hurriedly walking fast. After saying hello, walking on the contrary, I met again at the west of the square.
But I saw him put down his leisure bag, and stood down at the edge of the promenade, rubbing his back back and forth against the columns as if he were an old bear rubbing against an itch, and talking and laughing with the square-dancing amahs, and very much in touch with the people, which gave me the feeling that the third brother had been "obliterated by the crowd".
Could it be that every man who has fallen from the altar, who has been a legend, has experienced the trek through the years, and has come ashore in the lightness of the wind, and is now in the world will make people feel that "the heroes can't withstand the years"?
Although there are feelings, but each have their own way of life, along the periphery of the square, and the three brothers more and more distant. Look at the cell phone, almost to the father from the hospital home time, out of the square, not far to the south, is the hospital.
More than eighty years old father, it is inevitable that the body has more or less old age disease. The "three highs" are even more inevitable. For diabetes, more than a decade has been controlled with drugs. Have been taking the drug, do not know what reason, lost its effect, and find alternatives are not corresponding efficacy. This has led to the blood sugar to reach a previously unheard of high value, in order to adjust the blood sugar, admitted to the hospital, seven times a day to measure.
The first few days were repetitive, with high and low blood sugar, and the diet was strictly controlled by the doctor. Tonight to see my father, found that the person is more and more gaunt aging, the waist is more and more hunched over, together with the time to go out, gently holding his shoulders, measuring the head full of gray hairs, the whole person has lost the prime of the lofty, sensory is not much higher than me.
Since I grew up, perhaps every child initially, 殾 thought his father was a heroic figure. But this hospitalization, the most obvious is that the father image has changed very obviously, is it really what I thought: heroes can not resist the years?
Father in the ward, some things need to communicate with the doctor, because the hearing problem, the doctor will inevitably be a little impatient. Worried about his father's current situation, the second brother and sister are busy with spring planting, they took two days off. The two of them were busy with the spring planting, so they took two days off. They said they were nursing, but they were always interrupted by some miscellaneous things, and they didn't have much time to spend with each other effectively.
When I was with him, I was just chatting about how I measured my blood sugar and what I had just eaten. But because of the hearing 'decline', and keep saying okay, okay words, or complaining about the ups and downs of the blood sugar, unconsciously reveal the wipe of bewilderment and on the unstable condition of the helpless, as well as suddenly some self-defeating words, so that I can not go on.
There were two or three days in the middle of the hospitalization, and the nighttime temperatures were good enough to be outside, walking to pick up my father. The door to the hospital room, my father nagged, said the hospital to restrict him to eat this and that and so on, full of wrath, said: "doctor this is to starve me ah, pancakes are not allowed to eat, congee is not allowed to eat, a meal to let eat two two rice," followed by a typical national curse, let a person good gas and funny.
Passing through the door of a ward separated by a wall, the flow of light, the past has become a memory, but the past has come to the face, engraved in the heart.
Or that dilapidated bungalow, father lived alone, because of gastrointestinal flu, a lone person huddled in the high humidity of the bed, quietly waiting for the arrival of the ambulance I called.
The father on the kang as if we did not realize that all of a sudden on the old show, people may be in the prime of the age of heroes to defeat the time, but the years have not spared a person? In the twilight years, is not all will fall into the end of the disease?
In fact, the father's life experience is rich: lost his father at an early age, remarried with his mother to do a drag. The young man is hard, young people into the army hammer, after the transfer of starvation to give up work, break into the East to do the farmers, settled down after the birth of children, the trials and tribulations of life has created a man of rock-like strong character.
Into the old age, when the pomp and circumstance of the tide generally faded, once love and hate obsession after all, as smoke, indistinct, go far away ......
Thought, the car to the father lived in the neighborhood across the street, insisted on getting out of the car, do not allow me to send him across the street. Watching him stubbornly and carefully across the street, I went around to the other entrance to the neighborhood.
Standing on this side of the fence, I watched my father's lonely and slow figure enter the door of the unit, and gathered up my chaotic thoughts, and gently opened the door, and with the sound of the door closing gently, the headlights of the opposite side of the driving car took the opportunity to break in, disturbing the chaotic people.
The closed car door, and the father closed the door is not the same? Without the bustle of the nightlife just beginning outside. The first thing you need to do is to get a good look at the color of the skin and the texture of the skin. The fact is that there is a tragedy of "the beauty of the evening, the hero has no way"?
The idea is to be ashamed of the fact that you have too little company on weekdays and you owe it to yourself. How many times I saw him alone, sitting in the gymnasium sunrise at the back of the wind, listening to the commentary drowsy look, only lonely, or said lonely, only commentary machine as a shadow with him.
Thinking back to my father's arm, gently walking through the hospital corridor, gently walking towards the road home, hopefully the time slowly flow, to stay this kind of long-lasting companionship.
In fact, I know, again good light, ultimately can not withstand the years.
I don't expect my father to stay in the heroic age of his prime, I just hope that my days by his side can withstand the erosion of affection by the years.
May 3, 2018