2, the mainland hosts are quite satisfactory, just like holding a hot pot to do a program: afraid of burning others, but also afraid of burning themselves.
When you are in power, life always has ups and downs.
4, the program stops and walks, the host goes and stays, only true friends can last forever!
5. How can a woman have a tip if a man is not drunk? How can a man have a chance if a woman is not drunk? Women and men are not drunk, how can anyone sleep in a hotel?
6, eat soft rice during the day, but work hard at night; Men are not responsible, but also pay!
7. Men eat and women sleep. If they don't eat or sleep, they will be scrapped immediately.
8. Very big male chauvinism, very big. It's tailored to the characteristics of one of my organs. You are older than me. I am longer than you, which means our program is very long.
9. Time doesn't make people feel painless. Time just makes you get used to the pain.
10. True love only comes twice in a lifetime. When you realize this truth, the first time is usually over.
1 1, I have a friend who is in a mixed gang, so every time I see him, I can't help touching his head for fear of cutting a turtle shell on his back.
12, if your happiness is my pain, then pain is no longer pain. It is okay for me to suffer for you, and I am happy!
13, if people are not spicy, unless they are spicy to the end, spicy to the highest point and spicy to the heart. It depends on whether you are hot or I am hot! ! Among them, the hot word can be changed into something else!
14, it is impossible for the wind to fall in love with clouds. I fell in love with you, which is the sorrow of my fate. Morning without coffee is like life without you. When I know what l-o-v-e is in my life, I know what love is. Can you add I-N-G for me?
15, people enjoy achievements at high tide and enjoy life at low tide!
16, underwear is not comfortable to wear, and people who look at it are also comfortable.
17, only singers and actors who became famous overnight, but no host who became famous overnight!
18, the little rich are thrifty, the middle rich are thrifty, and the big rich fall from the sky!
19, for politicians, no news is good news; ; No news is bad news for entertainers.
Spending money and making money can never be the same person.
2 1, I can't give her happiness, but I can comfort her; I can't give it to her forever, but I can give it to her once.
22. I hate two kinds of people, one is racist and the other is black.
23, businessmen have no nationality, artists have no D nationality!
24. Artists are commodities themselves. I have to please the audience. Why should I be trampled on by others?
25. The part that a man pays the most for his family is to sacrifice love.
Wu Zongxian's classic funny quotations
1, no, serving will be faster! 2. Is this your talent show?
How can a man have a chance if a woman is not drunk?
4. How can a woman tip if a man is not drunk?
5. Which university's music department did you attend?
6. Stone drums should be more powerful than Flammulina velutipes.
7. It's because I'm lonely at night!
8. Why is it so hot?
9. "I love the golden hoop" is a pornographic movie!
10, there are so many chivalrous people, just call it Superman!
1 1, nonsense, who wants to eat shit!
12, then I'll change my clothes first! Do you want to take a bath after riding?
13, so what do yellow people dislike the most?
14, do you blow coffins?
15, good, good, Hong Kong. Does Hong Kong smell good?
16, you are not affected, and there is no sagging problem?
17, why? The road is easier?
18, underwear is not comfortable to wear, and people who look at it are also comfortable.
19 do you know what black people don't like to eat the most?
20. Xinru, how does it feel to cooperate with mainland actors?
2 1, if you ride a horse, which part will be the most sour?
22, chocolate, because it will bite your fingers.
If I were a girl, I would love me, too!
24, men and women are not drunk, how can someone sleep in the hotel?
25, sexual indifference, cold feeling, cold feeling! (pointing to the small S)
26, people say that the chest is big and there is no brain, and people with big brains have no chest!
27, ah, you don't have to stand up without breasts. (To Aya)
28. I heard that you and Zhao Wei are sitting at the feet next door, kicking each other?
29, business women do not know the national subjugation and hate, prostitutes do not know extramarital affairs.
30. Please make a sentence with the idiom *X! Let me build one first.
3 1, utilities, telephone bills, bank bills
32. Yes, why don't you watch it? When a man left, he saw his head.
33. Don't look at Kangkang like this. Kangkang is actually a hybrid.
34, give you 10 seconds, please list the things that come once a month!
35. Did you thank the dead man by blowing him up?
36. Do you still have the habit of playing the cello often on an empty stomach?
37. Ok, calm down, then let me ask you, what are the characteristics of the golden hoop?
38. Come on, really? I think the Xinhai tunnel has been opened!
39. Do you laugh when you hold it? That's a smile.
40. I can't help it Her face, I want to be a director.
4 1, what's wrong with you? Is it because of peeking at boys' shit?
42. Your dance is really naked on the bench and methodical.
43. You really said it! I knew you would take out an album!
44. How long are you! Seen from a distance, what a big drop of ink it is!
45. Look, all your friends are singing, except me.
46. See if there are calluses on his hands. (Ask Shaolin monks)
47. Next, we welcome No.2 to play. Do you have a boyfriend now?
48. Welcome Singapore guests now. How long will you stay in Taiwan Province Province?
49. We are going to shoot a play recently, and I will promote you to be the heroine, ok?
50. OK, I have opened many restaurants. Please feel free to go to my restaurant.
5 1, too general! It's my turn to ask me what I practice. I practice martial arts.
52. Wow, this guest has been practicing kung fu for 30 years. What kind of kung fu is he practicing?
53. People should be applauded at high tide and enjoy life at low tide.
54, you are not so realistic, listen to others have a boyfriend just want to skip!
55. There is an old saying in China that a woman without talent is virtue. This is a very virtuous friend!
56. Why are you unpopular? There is a class in the afternoon, and I will continue to play at night if you like! .
57. No, do the grass well. If he goes back to Malaysia, don't give it to him.
58. If everything needs preparation, then your outlook on life is not sufficient.
59. Yes, only better than liver, heart, lung and kidney. Just a little harder.
60. Have you seen mine? Mine are all pink, and there are two angels spinning on them.
6 1. It's amazing to talk about our Lan Xinmei. She is the champion of our Taiwan Province province.
62. A friend of mine is a gangster. In order not to be afraid of chopping, he tattooed a turtle shell on his back.
63. No, when I listen to you sing, I cover my ears with my hands, and there is no microphone in my hand!
Boys aged 64 or 9 don't cry. Like I have children, my son won't cry.
65, steel army Oh, steel bars sound nothing, steel army sounds like a big strip.
66. You can't forgive bad people. If you want to learn from Aya, it's cool to shout it out right away. That's so cool.
67. For the first time, people learned to play the piano with half the effort!
68. Everyone must think that I am interviewing the next guest. No, I want to interview our guitarist.
69. Well, my brother happened to be at home recently. I wonder if I have time to have a cup of tea together?
70. That's all right. Spider-Man is Spider-Man. Do you know what Superman is called in Chinese mainland?
7 1. Next, let's welcome our guests to sing a once famous song called Sweet Honey.
Our next guest is the pride of China men. Let's give a hand to Mr. Kukukiki!
73. Actually, you should be told to shoot a ghost film, and people will come out. No head, as soon as you come out, ah! No breasts!
74. I have a professional question for you, OK? It's all rice fields. Will it be quite symmetrical to pull it out?
75. Japanese food is very powerful! Because it is carefully cared for, every grain of rice is covered with a plastic cover.
76, behind me, I cover you, if one day, it's your turn in front of me, I'm behind you, or I cover you!
77. They said at school: What are you doing? You really have no common sense. You've never eaten pork, and you've never seen Aya walk!
78. You want people not to be spicy, unless they are spicy to the highest point in the end and spicy to the heart. It depends on whether you are hot or I am hot!
79. She made a mistake. Dress too gaudy at work, and your chest is so low that your eyes pop out. Her backless dress shows the gap between her thighs, and she opens it to her armpit.
80. There are five kinds of beauties in Chinese mainland: first-class beauties, who travel across the ocean. Second-class beauty, Shenzhen Zhuhai. Third-rate beauty, stay in Shanghai. Fourth-class beauty, waiting on fifth-class beauty at home, sent down for labor reform.
8 1, Jay is the spaceship and I am the fuel tank. When he rose to the sky, I quietly fell in the Pacific Ocean and watched him continue to shine in the starry sky from a distance. I waved to him in the Pacific Ocean, but I couldn't see clearly, because tears had blurred my eyes.
Wu Zongxian statement
1, distance is the killer of love, time hurts us the most, but time also makes me heal, time will not make you painless, time will only make me get used to pain, love, it is dotted, look at the stars in the sky, scattered like bright little eyes …
2. The hosts in the mainland are all quite satisfactory, just like holding a "hot pot" to make a program: they are afraid of scalding others and themselves.
When you are in power, life always has ups and downs.
4, the program stops and walks, the host goes and stays, only true friends can last forever!
5. How can a woman have a tip if a man is not drunk? How can a man have a chance if a woman is not drunk? Women and men are not drunk, how can anyone sleep in a hotel?
6, eat soft rice during the day, but work hard at night; Men are not responsible, but also pay!
7. Men eat and women sleep. If they don't eat or sleep, they will be scrapped immediately.
8. Very big male chauvinism. "Big" is tailored to the characteristics of one of my organs. You are older than me. I am longer than you, which means our program is very long.
9. Time doesn't make people feel painless. Time just makes you get used to the pain.
10. True love only comes twice in a lifetime. When you realize this truth, the first time is usually over.
1 1. A friend of mine is a mixed gang. In order not to be afraid of cutting, he tattooed a turtle shell on his back … so every time I see him, I can't help touching his head.
12, if your happiness is my pain, then pain is no longer pain. It is okay for me to suffer for you, and I am happy!
13, if people are not spicy, unless they are spicy to the end, spicy to the highest point and spicy to the heart. It depends on whether you are hot or I am hot! ! Among them, the hot word can be changed into something else!
14, it is impossible for the wind to fall in love with clouds. I fell in love with you, which is the sorrow of my fate. Morning without coffee is like life without you. When I know what love is in my life, I know what sex is. Can you add I-N-G for me?
15, people enjoy achievements at high tide and enjoy life at low tide!
16, underwear is not comfortable to wear, and people who look at it are also comfortable.
17, man, you don't need to love him, you just need to understand him, because men are animals. You don't need to understand a woman, you just need to love her, because women are crazy. Men are animals, while women prefer small animals.
18, only singers and actors who became famous overnight, but no host who became famous overnight!
19, the little rich are thrifty, the middle rich are thrifty, and the big rich fall from the sky!
20. For politicians, nonews is good news；; ; For people in the entertainment circle, Nonewsisbadnews.
2 1, women are not drunk, men have no chance; Men are not drunk, women have no tips; Men and women are not drunk, and no one sleeps in the hotel.
22, spending money and making money can never be the same person.
I can't give her happiness, but I can comfort her; I can't give it to her forever, but I can give it to her once.
24. I hate two kinds of people, one is racist and the other is black.
25, businessmen have no nationality, artists have no D!
26. Artists are commodities themselves. I have to please the audience. Why should I be trampled on by others?
27. The part that a man pays the most for his family is to sacrifice love.
Quotations from Wu Zongxian
Not that you give me five minutes, but that I give you five minutes! ! ! According to the report, it was his brave words when he interviewed May Gibson.
2. Aya is really unprecedented. ) strong!
In the episode where Chen xx was a guest, I guess: she answered many questions (jacky said she was going to help her). When other guests complained, he said, Don't be jealous because they are beautiful. There are also ugly ones who have not answered anything. (turns to Liu) Right Aya?
When he studied sperm, he said that after capturing the city, he still made a fortune. At that time, the water in my mouth sprayed more than one meter away. .
5. Say to Aya, what's wrong with you? Is it because of peeking at boys' shit? !
6. Play the sitcom Mulan with Xiao S. Mulan played by Xiao S takes off her clothes to prove her daughter's identity, and then Wu Zongxian shouts ... Wow! ! What big two thumbtacks! !
7. Next, everyone must think that I will interview the next pony. Wrong ~ I will interview our guitarist. This is the essence of our program, so that you will never think of what we are going to do (walking next to the guitarist). Now I'm standing next to the guitarist (turning to the drummer), so I ask the drummer to talk about his thoughts ~ ~ but we don't care about his opinions ~ ~ (and then walk away).
8. Kangkang is actually a hybrid. His father is from Aryan. . .
The guest in front of us is the pride of China men-let's applaud Mr. Ju Gu Chicken! ~
10. Which part of your body do you like best? Eyes. Oh, why? Because ~ ~ because my eyes are round ~ Ah, have you seen square eyes?
1 1. A while ago I came to Shanghai to advertise, and Shanghai sent Bing Lin to confront him. Li: Oh, so you are the famous Brother Xian! Hey, Brother Xian is good-looking. If he hadn't been short, he would have come to the mainland to develop. How can he wait until now? ! Xian: That's right! You still look good! Not only tall, but also handsome! Especially those eyes, they look like Elva Hsiao, the star of Taiwan Province Province!
12. Please make a sentence with the idiom XXXX! Let me build one first. Neighbor Lao Wang's family has a plaque with four characters "XXXX" written on it. . . Almost every episode is guessing. . It's just that idioms and Lao Wang are not fixed
13. Businesswomans don't know about national subjugation and hate, and prostitutes don't know about extramarital affairs.
14. People in Taiwan Province Province generally only know six kinds of flags: the blue sky and white flag, the five-star red flag, the stars and stripes flag, the miter flag, the plaster flag and the bagua flag with sticks. Most people don't even know French, Italian and German ~ ~
15. Let me tell you that he/she is the most ... in our ... world. Oh, come on, XXX. ......
16. Brother Xian: What do you usually eat to get such a good figure? Da Bo MM (who forgot): I like to eat fruit. Aya: I like fruit too. Brother Xian told Aya: People like papaya, but you like grapes.
17. Xiaoming lost a leg in a car accident and rolled on Kangkangdi. ING Wu: Xiaoming lost his other leg in another car accident, and Kangkang continued to roll. Wu Ying: Xiaoming lost a leg in another car accident. Everyone laughed. Wu: Xiaoming lost another leg as big as S in the car accident. Kangkang chased Wu Wu: Actually, Xiaoming is a dog.
18. If people are not spicy, unless they are spicy to the highest point in the end, they are spicy to the heart. It depends on whether you are hot or I am hot! ! Among them, the hot word can be changed into something else! ! !
19. This topic has been discussed before, and I remember it is also a strong post. Which mop has a collection? Tell a story I saw recently: Brother Xian interviewed an AV actress, and MM said that it would be ugly for a man to take it off. Brother Xian immediately retorted that there was, so why didn't it look good? The men saw their heads when they took off.
20. There are five kinds of beauties in Chinese mainland: the first-class beauties travel across the ocean, the second-class beauties in Shenzhen stay in the homes of the fourth-class beauties in Shanghai, waiting for the fifth-class beauties to be sent to reform-through-labour institutions.