Has come to the end of the day, I believe you have a lot of feelings, it is very necessary to write a diary. Diary to write what content is new and rich? The following is my compilation of mood diary 10, welcome to read and collection.
At the age of 12, I met the brother fly. Brother Fei is a demented son, I read the first literary novel "Romance of the Three Kingdoms", is his book. My teenage years were spent at my grandmother's house on the south bank of the Right River, where I was the younger brother of my grandmother's east-neighboring hostess, who was in his 30s at the time. Brother Fei did not get annoyed or angry all day long, sitting quietly under the wall of his own house, and sometimes doing some work at home silently. It is said that he used to be a private teacher in a mountain village elementary school, and one evening he went to pick water after drinking and fell, after which he was in a coma for two days, and woke up mentally deranged.
That summer vacation, I borrowed some extracurricular books, and when I had time, I sat under the pear tree at my grandmother's house to read. One day I was holding a book and reading it, and I suddenly realized that someone was pacing in front of me, and I looked up and found that my brother was looking at me. Brother Fei's gaze was very soft, and I immediately eliminated my usual fear of him. He pointed to the book in my hand, mumbling incoherently, and looked at me with a solicitous gaze. I knew he was unable to speak, for he had lost his speech since his illness. I guessed what he meant, and said, "I am fond of reading. When he heard that, a silly smile appeared on his stagnant face. I had heard that he used to love books as much as his life, his father, who had been a township cadre all his life, had a lot of books, and after the old man passed away, those books were returned to him, and now they are all still in his house. Perhaps it is because the books in the past in his heart has made a deep mark, now he can still show interest in books. So I asked him, "I heard you have a lot of books, don't you? He nodded, tugged on my arm, and brought me to his house, where he opened an old wooden box in the corner, fiddled with the books inside and showed them to me, most of which were classical books, which I had only heard of, but had never read. I feel that my two eyes are not enough, I picked up a set of "Romance of the Three Kingdoms", which I have long admired, and flipped through it page by page. The first thing I did was to ask him to take the book and read it, and I was so surprised that I said several "thank yous" to him in a row.
The set of "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" was published at the beginning of the liberation of the vertical rows, there are a lot of traditional Chinese characters, I even recognize with guessing, can only look at a rough, but also look as enchanted. After finishing the book, I went to change other books, our country's classical literature masterpieces, in that period of time, most of the browsing.
One day, I was at my brother-in-law's home with a few students to do homework, back to see the brother fly squatting on the side of the road in front of his house, he was naked, his eyes with a ferocious light, his sister stood beside him, his face is full of helplessness. I walked up to them and asked what was wrong, and Brother Fei's sister said that this brother of hers commits such an illness every two or three months, squatting outside naked and sometimes running around, and if he is pulled home or given clothes, he gets annoyed and beats and curses. I looked at Brother Fei, called out to him, he slowly tilted up his face, looked at me blankly for a moment, his eyes moved to the books I held in my armpits. That's when I distinctly saw his eyes light up. At that time I thought that perhaps the books could awaken him and bring him back to his usual state of mind. So I went over to him, opened a fairy tale, and told him the story. This method really worked, I spoke for a while, I saw his eyes softened a little, I spoke, while trying to pull him up, he also let me put on his clothes, to lead him home.
Since then, the brother fly a disease, his sister will run to me, I will take the book to go, to tell him the story of the book, to be his mood stabilized a bit, I will give him clothes, and then walk with him in the village for a while, he returned to the usual appearance. The year before I started junior high school, Brother Fei had a seizure in the night, left the house by himself, fell into the river next to the village, and drowned. His brother-in-law is a plumber in the Bai Lin brick factory, but also love to read, originally wanted to take care of the aftermath of his brother's brother left behind the books are taken away, I heard of his brother's friendship with him, he insisted that I choose a few of my favorite books, excused, I took the set of the "Romance of the Three Kingdoms", is to be kept as a souvenir.
Now more than 20 years later, the old set of "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" is still displayed on my bookshelf, in the pile of books with fancy cover is very eye-catching.
mood diary part 2accumulated a long time into the habit, every year before and after the Qingming Festival, I always like to go out to "pao" tea. The so-called "Amoy", that is, the first wide search, as buy half a catty eight or two, and then return home to taste the tea, according to the color and aroma of the different selection down the tea, naturally, has become a favorite of daily life - get up every morning, handful of a handful of tea into the glass cup, with the burned boiled water, a punch down, there was no life! A piece of tea leaves, all of a sudden, such as the elves lively, they are up and down floating, left and right rotating, is really the shape of both God, lovely to the extreme; there is a cup of turquoise green, is really pleasing to the eye, hold in the hands of the gaze or play, the mood of the day will be happy and relaxed to open up.
"Look, the tea will dance!" In fact, this is not my discerning eye, but just started junior high school son to see me brewing new tea, suddenly popped up behind me a sentence. At that time, I suddenly paused for a moment, quietly observe indeed, these originally curled up dry tea leaves, surprisingly, under the action of the boiling water, only a blink of an eye, issued a very fine, very fine, almost musical sound; and, they began to dance under the quiet accompaniment of that music---that dance seems to be The dance seems to be a breeze blowing in the field, the beginning is as quiet as a child, and then blushing face, and then is moving like a rabbit ......
The son does not know what dance, but he used anthropomorphic techniques to express the tea leaves in the cup of the form of the god, I feel very pleased, I pointed to the tea cups of the son of the same as the same analogies: Look, these tea leaves are from the countryside out of the countryside, the tea leaves are from the countryside out of the countryside out of the countryside out of the countryside out of the countryside out of the countryside out of the countryside out of the country. These tea leaves are from the countryside out of the handsome village girls, they were enthusiastically invited to the "dance floor", at first may be timid or weak, dancing is "slow three" and "slow four "Slow three" and "slow four", the rhythm is soothing and eye-catching; two or three minutes later, in order to show their graceful body, pouring out the heart of spring, more and more bold, the pace is obviously accelerated, which is jumping "rumba", "tango", "Waltz" and so on; wait until all the passion through the boiling water after two brewing, leaves one by one to precipitate down, this process they jumped is "social dance", open-minded, see through the red dust, such a dance until you finish those from the tea body This dance will continue until you finish drinking the juice extracted from the tea leaves, and it will continue over and over again.
My son seemed to understand my analogy, he picked up the cup of tea first curiously looked at it, and then gently sip. "So bitter! Good bitter!" He smacked his mouth and kept yelling. People who love tea know that the first tea is not advisable to drink more, both bitter and astringent, but also not conducive to health; the second tea is the most beautiful, when the water becomes green, the tea aroma is also in the role of the water slowly exudes out, a small mouthful of taste, and then on the tongue for a moment, and then you will feel that teeth and cheeks; if you swallow it lightly, your internal organs are more like an iron ironing over a number of things, to be more comfortable with how comfortable; and then look at the cups of things, one by one straight set up. Look at the things in the cup, one next to another straight set up at the bottom of the cup, like those waiting for the rehearsal dancers, to be the life of the tea soundly interpreted.
In fact, tea is not born to dance, in my opinion, their teacher should be laboring tea farmers and tea picking village girls. Tea farmers give tea is planted, is fertilizer, is in addition to insects, which is the basic skills of dance; village girls to give tea is neat, is picking, is processing, which is the expression of dance. It is with the basic skills and forms of expression of the organic combination of the original life in the vast sprawling nature of the tea, which chose the cup of tea in this small ' "stage", and with the help of boiling water, the original silent life open, the beauty of their own blossomed out to the fullest.
Tea flavor is getting fainter and fainter, the tea is getting clearer and clearer, the son said, since you love tea so much, may wish to re-brew a cup. My son is still young, he temporarily can not understand the true meaning of life from the tea, so I did not say too much, but will be the cup of tea raised to the eye, gazing fondly at the bottom of the cup of precipitation; can not help but, once again, the mind of the tea in the cup of the beautiful dance, which dance is enough to make me forget the troubles of the world, forget the heart was once the sadness, bitterness and pity!
Such an unlovely me, holding a passionate heart immovably close to you, I hope you can understand.
If you don't understand, it doesn't matter.
A. Long distance.
I came here two years ago after my destined calamity. But left it deserted for half a year before I began to formally take care of it.
I y feel that time is so long, it is like a grain of sand in the hand, but it is to hold it tightly the more will be gradually lost bit by bit.
When I was alone, I had a quiet conversation with the world, the livelihood of every cent, and the life of the dead days.
At this time, I write, read, and dream.
It was all a waste of time, but I enjoyed it.
Finally, I met you on a long walk alone, and saw you as I saw myself elsewhere.
B. Short trips.
One morning, I took public transportation halfway across the city. It was just as the city was waking up, and the process was like taking a short trip.
Because of the long and stable life in the comfort, even the will to get up early has disappeared. It's as if there is a lazy monster living in my body, and it controls my body with its will.
The square is surrounded by office buildings. I found a chair and sat down, looking at the people coming and going around me.
The square was empty and the ground was clean. On the other side of the lake are rows of new residential neighborhoods with private cars driving in and out. There are groups of old people practicing in the distance, women walking with their poodles, and more office workers in professional attire.
Most of them have a tired look on their faces, rushing to their workplaces, not knowing what to think.
I don't know how many of these strangers I see in a day, and I'm just as much a stranger in their eyes, and in a few seconds I won't remember their faces, and they certainly won't remember mine.
The Buddha said, the five hundred times in the previous life of the look back in exchange for this life of a poor shoulder and pass by.
It turns out that Buddha is also a romantic.
C. Memory falls asleep.
Memory is a sleeping past, and the more a memory asks itself not to be forgotten, the more it is just a dead memory.
A living memory, however, is one that demands to be forgotten.
Memories of the world, cold and simple. Those beautiful like a good painting ink, can be preserved for thousands of years is still long.
But you and I both know that no one can live a thousand years later.
When you learn to cry in the white wine, then congratulations, youth and growth has been engraved on your body indelible tattoos.
D, this life is long.
Growing up is a long process, as if after the robbery, single knife to the meeting.
I especially like to read, like drinking a glass of water, no flavor but can quench the thirst.
I write very slowly, if not in a hurry to write a neat and clean.
I have a bad memory, see the beautiful sentences such as do not mention note down must be forgotten in the blink of an eye.
Even so, I am still obsessed with writing, like food and water, indispensable.
End, the sea is not met.
I put up the lamp and watched the lonely shadow outside the window, life seems to be suddenly bright at that moment, I know that is you back.
I've been listening to a lot of songs in the past few years, but I don't think there are many that I can remember and miss.
What is it about songs? There have been a lot of details, there is no need to discuss. But who knows, in the Chinese up and down five thousand years, across 80,000 miles of glorious history, songs can be said to be the Chinese nation's glorious cultural pearls. Every historical process has a fighting song in the stirring, there are forward songs in the feat.
There are also two songs that have accompanied me throughout my life, one is On the Songhua River, and the other is Don't Forget Class Bitterness. I was listening to and singing these two songs when I was in elementary and middle school, and later when I went to the countryside. in the early 1960s, probably influenced by the large-scale dance epic "Dongfanghong", the song "My home is on the Songhua River in the northeast" quietly flowed into the campus. The song "9-18, 9-18" formed a wave of songs of the same enemy inside and outside the campus, and the voice of "Father and mother, father and mother, when will we be able to get together" always shook my heart; the phrase " Which year, which month, to be able to return to my lovely hometown; which year, which month, to be able to recover my endless treasure", always burning my patriotic feelings. From this song I understand the Chinese people's victory in the war of resistance against Japan is not easy to take, greatly inspired my patriotic feelings; from this song I also know that my hometown is so beautiful and rich, she also had such a tragic day; from this song also let me know a hot-blooded men should do something for their own motherland, their own hometown, their own relatives? Even if it's just a little bit of help!
When the intellectual youth at that time, it is to learn to sing, sing, must sing "do not forget the class suffering, remember the blood and tears of revenge" of the era, sing "the sky is full of stars, the moon is bright, the production team held a general meeting, complain about the grievances of the grievances," basically become a "this does not leave the hands of the song does not leave the mouth! "The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots.
Now think about it, back to the city, the song is not less singing, the song is not less listening, in the end is "pants belt without eyes - a did not remember", sang the song is really "like the fog like the rain and like the wind" swept away, did not leave any memories, as far as the I'd like to store some good traces in my life, but it's a matter of "waiting for a thousand years".
The new spring is coming again, I really want to say "May you not go away tonight" to those unforgettable songs.
Mood Diary Part 5The story is that at the beginning of that summer, I met a teenager.
Unconsciously, realize that the end of spring and the beginning of summer, in the increasingly hot summer, people also unloaded the heavy cotton clothes, put on a thin T-shirt, put away the solemn face, and put on a bright smiling face. To be honest, I don't really like the heat of summer, so much so that later on, I realized that everything in the world under the sunlight looks like a slimmer and more discernible appearance. On the contrary, I prefer winter and the darkness, because in the darkness, not being able to see anything, this feeling makes people feel at ease.
I used to always get by, I do not know what I want, or rather, too young, instead of wanting too many things, so always in the process of discarding while walking, only to find that everything has long been not before. So, in the summer when I met him, I do not ask for anything, I just hope we can be together for a long time.
At this point, in this summer season, how many youthful stories, how many sad and happy stories, everything is meaningful, all in this passionate and rotten season.
The time seems to have never left, but the person I miss seems to have left for a long time. In this world where things are different, the cold memories drag me back to my wounded dream, and my mind seems to be frozen, eventually leaving me with the pain of a single thought.
In this vast world, I thought I had found the person who made me work hard for it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to find the best way to do this, but I'm sure you're going to be able to find the best way to do this. I thought I had found someone I could rely on to cross oceans, jungles and mountains together, to experience all the hardships and tribulations of the world, and to embody the steadfastness of love.
Now I realize that everything is cloudy, everything is imaginary, everything is a fantasy, everything is a dream, hurt and pain will understand!
Now I no longer need anyone's sympathy and pity, I will never let myself fall into the panic of loving a person can not own. Because I understand that in this world there is no one who can always be by your side, accompany me through.
So I can only squat on the ground to pick up the dropout of my messy memories, trying to put those broken years together. And that yellowed paper has long lost its sad texture, but that vaguely smile vaguely warmth ......
The time clattered past all the sudden and sudden, thinking that the memories of the past but forever retained in the bottom of the heart.
The first love of the first hurt, the life of the first so as to fall leaves with the wind, but no longer floating in the original place.
The spring rain is falling non-stop.
Migrant worker Liu Damin took his luggage and went out after the Lantern Festival, crossing two cities and three counties to work in the provincial capital.
Liu Damin is a plasterer. In front of the labor market, he was on the ground with a brick cutter, hammer, mud brush and other tools. His hand also held a paper plate, paper plate written on their own specialties, contact phone number and so on. Liu Damin recently braved the rain every day to guard here, he hoped that he could find a job as soon as possible, because his family is waiting for him to send money back.
The rain is still pouring down. In previous years, he went to the labor market, there are bosses to recruit, what construction sites, domestic service companies ah have. He has a good hand with his own, and willing to work hard, go out to work is very easy to find things to do. But what happened this year? It has been raining non-stop. He knew in his heart that because it rained, he could not work on the construction site, and the contractor of the construction site did not come to recruit laborers. He thought that the rain could not always fall, but one day two days past, a week two weeks and past, turn a month and past, the rain is still falling non-stop, Liu Damin guard there or no one to take care of. He brought less and less money, the heart is more anxious every day. Anxious, suddenly his cell phone rang, he joyfully picked up the phone: "Dahmin ah, outside all right?" It turned out to be his wife's phone: "I'm fine." "You've been out for a month and seven days. In previous years, you'd have sent money home by now, but how is it this year?" "It's raining all the time this year, so it's not easy to find a job. But I just found a job yesterday." He wanted to make his words as easy as possible, not to make his wife anxious, and this last sentence was his comfort to her. But listen to the wife on the other side of the phone was anxious: "Da Min, my daughter was sick last night, with a high fever ......" "Ah? Then you quickly send your daughter to the hospital to see, the family has no money, right? Money I immediately send you."
Liu Damin heart a sour, he came out of the house, his wife put the family only 1000 yuan all to him. He wanted to take a five or six hundred dollars to go out, but his wife said, go out or bring more good, in case you can not find things to do at once, you can respond to an emergency. If he found something to do, he could send the money home again. He went out for more than a month, has spent 420 yuan, he immediately ran to the bank, the 550 yuan deposited into his wife's card.
"That's probably not enough money to see a doctor, and I need to find something to do soon. What if it keeps raining?" Liu Damin thought in his heart, pinching the only remaining 30 yuan in his hand, and drilled headlong into the downpour. This is the first time I've ever seen a person who has been in a situation like this. Although you really do not do right, but those sour taste but instantly through the tear ducts, bitter raging ...... is not it, as if you are holding a line ball excitedly playing kitten chided, it will also immediately put down the line ball, put up the tail, with beautiful eyes exasperated but aggrieved staring at you, tell you it tastes is not good! The taste is not a good one.
But is the taste of being scolded always bitter? I think it's sweet.
The child "thump, thump, thump" when the mother did not pay attention to climb up the small stool on tiptoe, put his hand into the sugar jar, and was happy for the success of the sugar in the hands of the mother from the back of the child's head knocked and scolded: "What? Don't steal food." Then the child had to pout and look at his mother holding the candy canister to the children in the living room and said, "Come on, eat candy."
It was sweet, right, even though there was no candy. That's how a mother is, it's her child, how can she indulge her child's addiction to sugar and get a mouth full of worms and teeth? When I think of the fact that my mother is the only one who is good to me, this happiness will not be bitter!
The child cried and swollen nose and face home, the mother was not there, the father was busy helping the child on the medicine, not forgetting to reprimand: "know fighting, do not learn to be good, was beaten by other people like this, hit the pain, right, next time so see I do not pack you." It's sweet, right, despite the tears and snot running down the face. Parents are like this, their own children, they do not want to beat but to others "robbed first". The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on the best of the best of the best of the best.
There is also shaking his head and looked at my brother's homework, helplessly reprimanded "What is this logic, a mess, I do not teach you a lot of times it, come here! I've taught you so many times, come here and listen again!"
And then there was the friend who threw her clothes over me and poked me in the head and scolded me, "You're such an idiot, don't you know you're going to catch a cold?"
There were also students who poked my head outside the classroom, slapped my open book, and scolded me, "Read your book, you're not going to be able to do it all day long."
......
All sweet ah, these full of love and care of the reprimand ah, I tasted all the flavor of happiness.
In fact, we should learn to enjoy, be reprimanded, but also when we are cared for.
Try, when you are reprimanded, obediently "Oh" a, reprimanded you love and spoiled you will be "original form", and then, these love and spoiled you will make your heart sugar dissolve faster.
This is the taste of being scolded, calm and vivid and not generally delicious.
The world's loneliest plant is the willow, in the bright spring she held full of white heart, shaking down in the air, with the wind floating, a little lonely white.
This lonely monologue suddenly flashed in my mind.
Earlier in the year, the willow tree by the river is still desperately sprouting, lonely white. Today, this inadvertent glance, it turns out, she is also as decadent as I grow, slowly aging, not see the old dense branches, even the green began to blacken, and with this east to the dirty lake. I also so, can not find back to the old days of the well-behaved me, in the haze of torment ~ ~ torment
The hidden sun, the green hills, buried how many of my memories? And this April the vigorous growth of the mountain red, the smear of bright red, the dreamy purple, this side of you open so delicate, over there I shy quietly to be released. I'm glad that full of clusters full of clusters of blossoming red, but I do not dare to pick, not that she grows in the depths of those woods, just that I know that she opened, will wither away. I can not bear to see my flowers so "dead", at least let me put her in the can, put water, raise her a few days, see her from the flower bones into a flower. Then I have a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment, just choose the red buds to be released, a few places to find, and then look at the hand has been a large number.
Pick up the steps, the pavilion also hides a promise made to someone years ago. The wreckage, that concrete road winding its way to the front, I always feel that this mound is not a mound, change is no longer her own. I heard that this place is going to be developed, so the original is going to be destroyed? Really crippled.
Look and forget, those chaotic air hidden under the mountain scenery, trying to find a familiar place, but still lost. A lonely old highway, I will never write like a schoolboy's travelogue that "the house at the bottom of the hill is like a small dot, the winding highway car like a beetle slowly crawling. That's too childish, and anyway, I still have to admit and crave like crazy that I'm growing up. Whether I'm going backwards or forwards, I'm always moving forward, aren't I?
Kind grandmother to give us a drink of water, see us in the hands of a large bouquet of flowers, she asked: "good flowers why pick down, let her open how good."
Answer: "Take home can raise her."
Grandma said, "How long will it take for her to die?"
We didn't continue the conversation and left.
We all knew very well that these flowers we were holding in our hands were coming to the end of their lives. Maybe not tomorrow, with luck, maybe a week, she would have grown in the mountains, bloomed on the occasion of the clearing, faded before the height of summer, and next year to start all over again. But the poor flower was ignorantly robbed by us of the life she had not yet finished.
Cruel.
People are so selfish.
I can't help but think that love is the same. It's the same thing. Can't give, don't be selfish to stay around, give each other is hurt, not love, since you can't hold hands with TA to guard the happiness, it's better to watch from afar TA in the other side of the happy, forgive us between only clean silence.
To go trekking, to relieve the recent mood of boredom, but always feel sorry for what, if the happy time is to share with the together? Always feel that only and together, happy is really happy, to pray to the gods, I am so pious. Hopefully, everything will be fine.
Mood Diary Part 10She most first fell in love with, is a childhood friend of the one. She always thought that when she grew up, she would marry him.
However, he suddenly called to say he was going abroad. When she realized to go to him, he was already across the ocean. She didn't chase after him, because there was already another "her" by his side.
After he left, she felt that the sky had collapsed, and for more than ten days she did not eat or drink, and her body rapidly lost weight. One day, in the downstairs, just out of a few steps, she will feel the sky dark, "thud" fell in the stairway, they lost consciousness! When she woke up, she found herself lying in an unfamiliar environment, she realized that she was hospitalized! Mom told her: "You broke your leg, is next door to Aunt Liu will send you to Chongqing Honglou Hospital." She didn't answer, just stared silently at the ceiling! Under the careful care of the medical staff, her leg gradually improved. But after being discharged from the Red House Hospital, she stayed at home, rarely going out, only contacting the outside world through e-mail, helping people to design drawings, and completely closing her emotional world.
The first time I went to QQ, I met my middle school classmate, who said he had fallen out of love, and his tone of voice was very depressed. The first time I saw this, I was able to get a good look at it, and I was able to get a good look at it, and I was able to get a good look at it.
He immediately said: "I do not go out for a long time, spring is coming, this time the park grass should be green, you accompany me to see?" She said, "I'm actually more nerdy than you. Spring is someone else's spring, and warmth is someone else's warmth, and none of this has anything to do with me."
He began to soften his words, and every day when he met on QQ, he would always ask: "When are we going to sunbathe?" Sometimes work is busy, she ignored him. The first time I saw this, I was able to get a good look at it, and I was able to get a good look at it. Gradually realized that he was like himself, only like the same brand of jeans. He never goes out during the day, and if he wants to purchase necessities, he must act only at night. He also refused to go on a blind date as she did, and had no friends ......
Finally, he decided to accompany him to see the "grass". The first time I saw him, I didn't see him for many years, but I didn't feel strange. Because he and she have too many **** the same "quirks", is in the eyes of others of the alien.
She suddenly jumped and said to him, "I'm a broken man, how can I laugh like this?" "Then who says you can't laugh at a lost love?" He makes a face for a moment, then laughs himself first.
He took her to dinner and ordered her favorite sweet and sour pork. She buried her head and feasted on it, then said tearfully, "I thought that I could never eat this dish again in my life, and it would break my heart. Because at that time, it was always him who ate with me. I am a lost love ah, how can I still eat like this ......"
He laughed again, "Who says that lost love must refuse food? Look, I am also eating ......"
Many years later, she was his wife. One day, she suddenly asked curiously, "That year, you did not fall out of love, much less geeks, why go through all the trouble of pretending to be my 'kind'?" He smiled and began to tell her a story.
He said there was a mental patient who always thought he was a mushroom, and then spent the whole day holding an umbrella, squatting in his room and not moving, not eating or drinking. In order to cure him, the psychiatrist simply squatted next to him with an umbrella and said he was a mushroom too. Soon the doctor stood up and walked around the room. The patient asked curiously, how can you walk if you are a mushroom? The doctor replied that of course mushrooms can walk. So the patient started walking too.
Soon the doctor started eating bread again, so the patient said can mushrooms eat? The doctor said, of course it can! So the patient started eating too. Soon, the patient becomes like a normal person, although, he still thinks he is a mushroom.
Suddenly she realized: back then, she was in too deep, just like the patient in the story. He was willing to turn himself into another "mushroom" to accompany her out of the pain and return to normal life.