A woman friend of mine said that she and her mother recently had an argument about "marriage". My female friend is 30 years old, but she is not married yet.
My friend's mother asked her: "If you don't get married, what will you do when you get old and sick? Who will take care of you?" She replied, "We'll talk about it when we're older." The reasoning was so far-fetched that even she found it untenable. She asked me how to counter her mother's statement that "if you don't get married, no one will take care of you when you get sick".
I think we can refer to the following three ways to reply to the elders, and hope to get each other's understanding:
One is that we can directly reply to the elders that, "If you marry the wrong person, you may not have to wait until you are old and no one to take care of you".
After that, we will move with the elders to say that the reason why they do not get married now is because they have not met the right person, if they meet the right person, then they are certainly willing to get married, showing their attitude towards marriage.
At the same time, you can also cite examples of how unhappy a girl's married life is because she married the wrong person. I believe that the elders will show understanding when they hear us say this, after all, their original intention is also for our good.
That's what I told my mom and dad when I was urged to get married before. I said that if I can't marry someone I like, then I'm sure I won't be happy in the future. And if you can't find a good person, then the big family will not be harmonious, I hope they understand and that they will pay attention to the matter of marriage. After hearing me say this, my mom and dad just said "hurry up, don't be too picky", and then said less.
The second thing you can do is to reply with "Is it really possible to prevent your children from getting old? Are you raising me for old age?" . The effect of saying this sentence will be very good, but also enough to hurt the elders' heart. （
Of course, you can elaborate on this to make it less lethal. You can tell the elders that the child should be the crystallization of the couple's love and witness, and should not be used as a "tool" for old age. Whether a child is filial or not is up to him or her, and we shouldn't set a place for him or her.
So we don't need to pin our retirement on our children, and we don't need to get married and have children for the sake of retirement. At the same time, we should also make our position clear that we will definitely be filial to our parents in the future, but we don't want anyone to give us a leash.
Thirdly, you can reply, "I'm doing this also to give my children a better environment to take care of you in the future." Tell the elders that their current life and financial situation does not have the capital to get married and have children. If the strength reaches, he or she is definitely going back to get married, hoping they can give themselves a little more time and space.
If you force yourself to get married, it will only add to your own pressure and make them think in terms of their children. The parents love their children, and when you say that, their hearts will be "softened".
But there is one more thing I have to say here, and that is that love and marriage are unlikely to be perfect. If you do meet the right person, you don't have to wait until you have a successful career. When you meet the right person, you can start a family first, then a career. Career can be a lifelong thing, but many times love missed is really impossible to have again.