1. Sister
I held the water that my father poured for me and waited for him to put my sister to bed. The water in my hand cooled down little by little, so much so that I gently put it on the table when I didn't want to hold it anymore.
My father was wearing old glasses and trying to calculate the questions my sister asked him at night, and the little girl beside him was already asleep. These, I have never experienced, thinking of this, tears suddenly welled up in my eyes, the stomach as if it was suddenly stuffed full of acid, clogging the throat tight. My grip on the glass slipped and I almost knocked it over on the coffee table, tipping out a small puddle of water that pooled on the surface of the glass. I anxiously wiped it with my cuffs, and the courage I had just summoned was already in shambles, and I quickly fled in their warmth.
A dense crowd of people crowded the square. I stretched out my neck and could only see the heads of the actors on the stage. And at that moment, my father suddenly picked up my sister and put her on his neck. In that instant, people around us followed their father's example and lifted their own children above their heads. My sister rode on my father's shoulders and touched his hair. The father's hands gripped her ankles.
My father was the tallest dad of those around him, and I was the shortest child in the crowd.
I don't know why, but my father always favored my sister.
I was already doing household chores at the age of my sister's age. When I asked my father for the same, he said, "Give your sister more time to study, and your sister needs to be more responsible, not so catty.
My father sent my sister to the best class in the county when she was in elementary school, and when I wanted to go to high school, my father said that it would be better to go to a vocational school to learn skills, and that my grades weren't very good anyway. If I have to go to high school I have to make sure that I can go to college, or else I have to pay him back for the money I spent unjustly.
Not only does my father like my sister more, but I think the whole family likes her more. She always smiles and runs around saying she wants to help everyone, she will rely on her family's arms to be pampered, she will obediently admit her mistakes, her grades are very good, the teacher always praises her, she always politely calls around the uncles and aunts, and everyone likes her very much. And I, unlike my sister, can't say, mom and dad, I love you this kind of pretentious words.
Even in life and get along very well with friends also seem to be separated, I am stubborn and capricious, we each have a piece of no intersection of the world, walk into each other's heart. I'm afraid to analyze my heart to other people little by little. Why is it that my sister can speak her mind and emotions without choice, because she is loved and she is warm? I am like an iceberg when I am cold and lava when I am hot. If I am as unreserved as she is, I am afraid that people will not only not understand but also find it ridiculous and scary, and then alienate me even more.
I sometimes hate my sister, more like I am jealous of her, and even wish I never had her. It's not because my sister naughtily cuts my hair while I'm sleeping, only to get a token scolding from my parents. It wasn't because every time a relative brought milk, my parents had to force all of it to be left for my sister, or because I had to take my sister out with me every day no matter where I went, and couldn't be scolded for going to a dangerous place or getting my apron dirty. Just because of the simplicity, I want to be seen too, just by my parents.
Being seen by my parents, that's probably my luxury. As the second oldest in the family, half of my childhood in front of me, my parents gave my brother, and half of my childhood behind me, my parents gave my sister. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on this. I'm not sure if I've ever had a good time, but I'm sure I've had a good time, and I'm sure I've had a good time, and I'm sure I've had a good time. Now that I think about it, there are only tedious chores and my endless quarrels with my parents
In spite of this, despite all the dissatisfaction with my parents and my sister, every time I listen to my sister's sweet call for an elder sister, and every year I receive a birthday gift that she secretly puts on my pillow while I'm asleep, every time I share a lollipop with me, my heart softens a little bit, and it seems that I have slowly grown to like this cute little girl before me. Little girl. After all, she is just a little kid.
4 sister
When I was a child, because of the age difference between my brother and sister, many people around me always secretly say that I was picked up, and I also eavesdropped on my mom and aunt nagging me to say that once my father was going to carry me to other people to raise.
I was scared, I studied hard, I never talked back, I treated all people politely, and I showed my love for my family every day. I do all of this so that my parents will like me more. Don't just abandon me because, well, I'm not their own child.
When I was little, because my health was not very good, my parents would always spend more on me, and also instructed my brother and sister to take good care of me. Although everyone loves me so much, I often doubt that I was picked up, my mother would scold my sister, but seldom blame me. Except for my sister, the whole family was careful with me, and I felt like a guest, while they were what a family should be. Sometimes, I envy my sister can talk back to my parents with impunity, but I have never dared to be so bold, no matter whether my parents' education is in line with my small perception, I will certainly nod without hesitation.
When my sister graduated from junior high school, her test scores were not very good, but they were good enough for high school. At that time, a good brother of the father to lobby for all the benefits of going to vocational school, the father thought for several days, think let my sister go to study technology is more promising. At that time, my sister made a big fuss at home, and the glass of the cupboard was broken by her, but the more she made a fuss, the more dad felt that high school was not suitable for her, and then my sister had to go to school in the city alone with tears in her eyes, and said that she would never pay attention to dad again.
After my sister went to school in the city, she did a lot of part-time jobs. I thought she wanted to work hard to earn money and get out of this home that scarred her as early as possible, but she sent money back time and time again so that we could buy more home appliances. Mom saved a large portion of the money sent by her sister, saying that she wanted to give her a dowry when she got married in the future.
Later, I moved into my sister's room, and by chance I found her diary in the closet, and I realized that she had so many grievances. This book is a lot of handwriting is blurred by tears and slowly stained open, I can not read, but I always remember that sentence, "parents always favor the sister, I suspect that I am picking up the bar, I sometimes really hate my sister, but I also love her. I never knew that I brought so much trouble to my sister."
5 Father
Seeing the children's diary, I have always wondered, as a parent, have I ever really done my duty as a "parent"?
"There should be many happy moments in life, but they often become our burden, because the heart of the self is not carefully to experience."
The pressure of life in the middle age often overwhelms me and your mom, and my heart is often restless, and there are few moments when I can completely sink my heart to balance your growth, making your moments that should have been beautiful regrettable.
If there is one profession in the world that requires very specialized training, it is parenting. Your mom and I became parents in an unprepared haste and youthfulness. We gave you immature homeschooling. We inflicted what we thought was a good parenting style on you without a care in the world and never asked if it would hurt.
It's not that we don't love you, or that our love for you is biased, it's just that we don't know how to teach you to love you in a good way. Just as you are my children for the first time, I am also your father for the first time, and I will do a lot of things wrong, but I really love you, my children.
(Source public number Companion reading)