However, have these old people who have worked so hard to help their children with their babies ever thought about when to quit?
After a few years of retirement, Aunt Fu took on the task of helping her son and daughter-in-law take care of their baby. This area is ten years, which completely fetters Aunt Fu and has no life and leisure at all.
On one occasion, Aunt Fu saw Aunt Xu go to the square dance alone and asked curiously, "Why do you still have time to dance?" Not taking care of your daughter? "
Aunt Xu confidently replied: "My nephew is 4 years old and goes to kindergarten. Where do you want me to take him? His parents are responsible for picking him up. If I am really too busy, I will give them a hand. When can I be a leader? "
Aunt Fu was very surprised at this sentence. My nephew Aunt Xu let go as soon as she went to kindergarten. People are very happy now. My grandson has been in primary school for several years, and he still manages it every day.
Come to think of it carefully, Aunt Fu is a more responsible grandmother than her biological parents. When the parents' meeting was held, almost all the parents in the class attended. At one time, only Aunt Fu was a gray-haired old lady. Long-term spending money to ask the aunt to take care of the baby, the son and daughter-in-law have developed the inertia and feel that she should do everything. ...
Later, Aunt Fu figured it out: I should be willing to let go of my grandson, and I should quit.
The problem of intergenerational education
In infancy, old people and young parents only have deviations in the concept of feeding. Children only need to eat, drink and get enough sleep every day, even if the concept of the elderly is out of date, it will not cause harm to children.
However, children's age and mind are gradually maturing, and some ways of treating people by the elderly are really not suitable for modern society. Old people help their children with their children, but they don't know how to quit. intergenerational education may affect children's three views.
Unbalanced parent-child relationship
As we all know, the longer children get along, the closer they are. The old man helps the children with their children. If they don't know how to quit, it will lead to the imbalance of parent-child relationship.
Young parents are accustomed to the "arranged" by the elderly and become "shopkeepers" in their children's affairs, and their children will rely on the elderly for everything. Over time, the affection between children and parents is not deep.
The first "key point": about 3 years old.
The years from birth to 3 years old can be said to be the most difficult time for a baby to take care of.
Young babies have no self-care ability and need full-time care from their parents. Nowadays, most young parents are busy at work, and the elderly have already had the experience of taking care of their babies. So most of the children were brought up by grandma.
When the child is about 3 years old, it will be the age to go to kindergarten, so there is no need for people to accompany him day and night. This is the first "key point" for the elderly to quit smoking. If parents' conditions permit, they can pick up and drop off their children. If it is inconvenient, the old people can help occasionally, but they don't have to do everything by themselves as before.
Children will gradually develop self-awareness from the age of 3, so the cultivation of behavior habits should also be put on the agenda, which is in line with the old saying "three years old", which is very important for children's future development. After all, the old people's concept of parenting is somewhat outdated, and it is safer for parents to personally educate their children.
The second "key point": about 7 years old.
Seven-year-old children have basically gone to primary school, which is a new starting point in their lives, and this is the second "key point" for the elderly to take their children out.
First of all, from the perspective of the elderly, it's time to have a rest after helping children for so many years.
If the shuttle bus in kindergarten doesn't match the commuting time of parents, then the time for parents to go to school in primary school can basically be met. When they are in senior grades, they don't have to pick up and drop off their children, so don't bother the elderly any more and let them enjoy their old age.
Secondly, from the child's point of view, it is necessary for parents to discipline themselves, and it is best for the elderly not to intervene.
Children of this age are in a period of rapid growth and extreme rebellion. Lying, fighting and losing your temper are common. They don't take the old man's words seriously at all, and the old man loses his binding force on his grandchildren. Moreover, at this time, children's learning tasks begin to become heavier, and many uneducated elderly people are not competent, and they need parents' care and education.
It is a good thing for the elderly to help their children with their babies, but they should also know when to "quit gracefully". Children can try to quit when they are 3 years old, and they should not be over 7 years old at the latest.
Otherwise, for a long time, the elderly will have no leisure in their later years, which will not be of great benefit to the growth of children, and will also make the parent-child relationship unbalanced, and even lead to family conflicts because of the problem of bringing children.
Discussion topic: Is your old man helping with the children? How old were you when you quit?
PS: The pictures in this article come from the Internet and have nothing to do with the content. If there is infringement, please delete it.