As a mother of a three-year-old child, Fishwife is no stranger to this feeling. Before I got married, it was not uncommon for me to go out with my girlfriends on weekends and have a drink, but after I fell in love and especially after I got married, my friends shunned me. Usually chatting on WeChat is also less and less. The fact is, I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it in a few hours.
However, after I got married, I had fewer and fewer friends.
1
"Speaking of which, how is she doing these days?" We all may have such feelings: in the past, every day contact frequent meeting of close friends, do not know why no news, into a very distant existence. Friendship between women is sometimes misunderstood as plastic sisterhood, seemingly bright but fake to death, and when you get married, even this plastic sisterhood is gone, not sad?
When did friends become fewer and fewer?
When they asked you to hang out and you said you had a date with your boyfriend.
When they asked you to dinner, you said you had to go to your mother-in-law's house to serve the elderly.
When they are upset and complain to you, you listen to them and then say you have to go pack up the kids' toys.
When you can hardly find time to go out shopping with them, you are called away by your husband's chain of life-sapping calls.
It's not easy to be a married woman, you have to work and take care of your family, how can you squeeze out time for your friends?
So, in addition to the husband, children, mothers-in-law, you do not have friends how "normal" ah!
After you got married, your world turned into an island from a vast continent. Finally, one day, your husband and children do not need you around them, you suddenly want to chat with friends years ago, but found that the atmosphere of the chat is too awkward, you do not talk about the children do not listen to their husbands, how worrying, the friend is also self-conscious about their own recent how bad it is, you speak the Chinese language that you understand, but in the two worlds.
The situation is different, the past friends do not force can still get along as in the beginning. However, if you don't have the heart to maintain the friendship, it's not worthwhile to sympathize with the person who becomes an island after marriage.
2
Traditional women can easily become isolated after marriage, partly by themselves and partly by the pressure of their families.
"Married women, the center of gravity should be at home, husband and mother, have a stable job is very good"
"Married women, what do you need so many friends, the husband's friends are your friends, ah, you just need to contact them! "
"Married woman, have to take care of four old people and children at home, you still go out to wave, like what words"
"You know so many people for what, you do not know the so-called blue confidant, blue blue is green? "
Your friends become fewer, the most terrible because of the husband who said he loved you to blame. Fishwife has a friend, married to the boss of a small company, after marriage, her husband endlessly to businessman's standards to review her circle of friends, "this person does not have much use, do not come to each other," "this person's circle is too LOW, can not help at all." These words around and around, inevitably reached the ears of those friends, so, many of her friends and even girlfriends, were actively or passively out of their social circle. The older a person gets, the harder it is to make new friends, the old ones don't get in touch, the new ones can't add up, so her circle of friends is getting smaller and smaller.
3
It is reasonable to say that after marriage is the combination of two people's worlds, your friends become her friends, relationships should be more and more extensive ah. But under the pretext of intimacy, narrowing your social circle, so that you become only stay at home, this is bad intimacy, you slowly become an island, isolation, the lack of people who can communicate, and the lack of information exchange, more and more loss of vitality.
Friends, an important fulcrum of communication between us and the outside world, the more we grow up, the fewer friends we have, which is actually the same for both men and women. The more we grow up, the less friends we have, which is actually the same for both men and women. As we grow up, we know what kind of people we can get along with for the rest of our lives. Ironclad friendships are sometimes more reliable than love and marriage. Ma Yili said in an interview with Round Table Pai that she has encountered so many storms, and whenever she encounters a difficult situation and wants to find someone to talk to, she will go to a group of girlfriends with only three people to vomit, and her girlfriends will quietly listen to her, help her to analyze the situation, objectively point out the problem, and tell her what to do next. When she really did, the difficulties were solved. This kind of friendship, ask who do not envy?
But a friend with a heart of gold is hard to come by and requires a lot of effort to maintain. This is no easier than maintaining a family. Women need more companionship and confidences than men, and a friend who can listen to you can be much stronger than a husband. After all, when you are old, you can only accompany you to square dance with a few old sisters!
The golden age of women is after 40 years old, when we have seen the wind and rain, tasted life, the child has grown up, this time with you in addition to your husband, may be those of your friends. Now we are in our twenties and thirties, the family work a busy, we ignored the friends, when you really feel lonely in your forties and fifties, really want to regret then did not cherish the friendship it!