Full-time mothers refer to mothers who quit their original jobs in order to support their children. They refer to mothers who don't want to rely on nannies, don't want to bother the elderly, concentrate on running their families and accompany their children to grow up, and mothers who have no jobs or quit.
In many people's minds, stay-at-home mom is just a title, not a profession. Most people take it for granted that women take care of their families and children, and the most important thing is that this "profession" has no income.
0 1
This society demands a lot of women.
This society demands more and more women, especially after getting married and becoming a mother.
You usually dress up beautifully, and some people say that you don't know who you want to seduce and provoke; You don't dress up. Some people say that you are sloppy and don't look like a woman at all.
If you don't go to work, the housework is of course yours. At work, housework is still waiting for you when you get home. Especially after you have a child, the leader thinks that if you don't take care of the child wholeheartedly, it may affect your work, so you may be laid off, or you may be arranged for some unpromising mechanical repetitive work, or you may be frequently transferred until you resign;
You want to work hard at night and often work overtime on weekends to improve your career. The old people at home think that you deliberately go out to socialize just to avoid going home to take care of the children. Heavy housework and trivial matters that are inseparable from children make the old people feel different from you all the time. A small fuse may even lead to a noisy room and sleepless nights.
As if you were born superman. Washing clothes at work, cleaning and cooking, taking care of children and taking care of the elderly are all yours, not men's. I have been wondering why a society that used to be a matriarchal clan society has evolved to such a degree. In terms of family and children, women are duty-bound first.
02
The number of stay-at-home mothers is increasing.
Although stay-at-home motherhood is a risky and unpopular job that may turn into tragedy at any time, in recent years, the group of stay-at-home moms is still expanding. The main reasons are as follows:
Nanny has an uncertain personality. Many nannies have not received formal training, and mothers can often rely on nannies' personality, but people's hearts are complicated. It is not excluded that some nannies are unfair and unfaithful in the material comparison center between their owners and themselves. What many nannies do is even more shocking.
Some burned their masters, some abused children, and some abducted children. Even if most of them are punished by law, the harm to children can never be made up.
This makes it impossible for mothers to guard against it. If it is not necessary, fewer and fewer mothers will leave their newly hired nannies to their children alone.
Old people have their own lives. Old people in the new era not only have limited energy, but also have their own colorful lives. Old people nowadays pay more attention to spiritual pursuit than before. They organize groups to see great rivers and mountains, see the world, or organize groups to participate in yoga and chess classes, dance square dances, have tea and meet friends. Old people have worked hard for most of their lives, and their children should also express their understanding and support for this change.
Nannies and old people can't be expected to educate their children, and the concept of education is out of date. Raising children requires a lot of energy and time, and parents need to have a certain educational level. Therefore, even if health of the elderly has quick hands and feet, or a nanny with correct views, children can grow up safely, but with the concept of the elderly and the general cultural level of nannies, it is still impossible to guarantee that children will receive a good education.
Modern enterprises are too fast and fierce, and the 996 working system is quite popular. If both husband and wife are in the enterprise at the same time, they have to work overtime until late at night, so they can't take care of their families and children, so they can only temporarily sacrifice one's career to achieve a warmer family relationship and future generations can get a longer and better education.
03
Will stay-at-home mom be a tragedy?
Luo Zijun and An An in The First Half of My Life and The Second Time is Beautiful are both expounding the fate of being abandoned after giving up their careers and becoming full-time wives. Due to the influence of China's national conditions and traditional concepts, most mothers have the same confusion after becoming full-time mothers, and these puzzles come from:
Low sense of self-worth, giving up work and having no economic status, resulting in no social status and family status;
Unable to generate income. There is only one source of money, all in the husband's pocket;
Get no respect from others. Usually some unfriendly neighbors will be sarcastic. You are too idle. You don't have to go to work. You have no job. A friend I haven't seen for a long time will say at dinner, you don't have a job, let me pay the bill. Even sometimes the company commander's eldest child will say that his mother has no job.
The coldness of other relatives and husbands. When you need money, you will feel that people at home are occasionally disgusted. And even if you spoil your husband, he will lose his temper with you when he is exhausted from work, and he will be at a loss at home all day.
Giving is not understood. Nannies exist every day, washing clothes, cooking and cleaning. Running errands for my family or something. Because you have no job, all these chores are necessary. I won't get the gratitude of my family.
I pinned my hopes on my children and lost myself. Full-time mothers always put too much hope on their children and help them enroll in many cram schools, hoping that their children will become lucky and make up for their lack of value. But this will not only increase the children's learning pressure, but also have a grand sense of loss when the children are still not performing well, which will indirectly destroy the parent-child relationship.
Re-employment is difficult. Even some mothers still have a heart to go to work after their children grow up, but they are older or out of touch with society. Enterprises pursue profit maximization, recruit more young people, and never lack new people in graduation season every year. The only jobs you can choose are nanny, servant, canteen staff, aunt and so on.
Being a full-time mother is a high-risk occupation. If you are not careful, it will become a tragedy.
04
Choice is very important.
When a woman chooses to be a full-time mother, she will not only lose her youth, health, job, contacts, dreams, plans, voice and social status, but also lose her marriage and start over. Therefore, when a woman decides to be a full-time mother, please think twice.
Whether to become a stay-at-home mother is only a personal choice, and you can't complain. And this choice should be made as early as possible, even before a woman gets married. Choosing the right person is very important.
Secondly, before you prepare to become a full-time mother, you must consider whether your re-employment age is appropriate, your education, experience and ability, and whether you still have the ability to re-employment at any time after your children go to kindergarten. If these factors of age are no longer suitable, then do you have all kinds of reserve funds, even if you are abandoned by your husband, you can still raise your children alone.
Finally, it is your choice when you become a full-time mother. Whether you can follow your heart and be willing to return to your family is definitely not a compromise on life, but a brand-new way of life. Whether you can constantly improve yourself and set a good example for your children.
05
Untie the knot, be diligent in planning, be good at self-cultivation, and stay-at-home mothers can have a wonderful life.
Even if they have to be full-time mothers, their lives can be wonderful as long as they do the following three things.
Untie the knot. It doesn't matter what others say. The key is that you can follow your heart, so don't care what others think. As long as you devote yourself wholeheartedly to your family, you will be worthy of your family and the world. Mothers let their families eat fresh and delicious fruits and vegetables, steaming delicious meals, enjoy a comfortable and clean indoor environment and put on clean and fragrant clothes every day. A stay-at-home mother is a mixture of many roles, not only a wife and mother, but also a nanny when doing housework, a teacher when teaching children, a doctor when taking care of sick family members, a driver when picking up children, and colleagues such as hairdressers, tailors, repairmen and sanitation workers. No income, stay-at-home mothers are great all year round. In recent years, with the misunderstanding of stay-at-home mothers gradually eliminated, the role has been paid more attention and the status of stay-at-home mothers will be improved.
Frequency planning. I often evaluate my strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and challenges through SWOT, and comprehensively consider my savings, income from investment and financial management, commercial insurance for old-age social security, personality hobbies, physical condition and future planning. Find a lifestyle that suits you and your family. A mature person knows how to control and plan his life from all aspects. Stay modest, talk less and do more, don't be a sloppy, greasy, nagging, acne-ridden middle-aged woman, don't spend money indiscriminately, have a correct consumption concept, don't lose your temper, and be gentle with the people you love.
Being good at self-cultivation and being a full-time mother doesn't mean completely losing yourself. Mothers should not forget to cultivate and improve themselves while taking care of their families and children. You can learn to play the piano, draw, calligraphy, finance, fitness, travel and so on according to your personal interests. In particular, reading more books will keep you awake at all times and always know what kind of person you are and what kind of road you want to take in the future. Even if you don't have time to learn so much, you can have simple happiness, cook yourself a delicious dish, taste a cup of tea, listen to a decadent song and watch some movies with unclear stage and stage. Actually, there are many things that can be done.
06
Stay-at-home mom around you.
There are many stay-at-home mothers, parents of classmates, former colleagues and friends, and some have formed a stable circle. They often get together to talk about children, men, cooking and life. These mothers have their own advantages, such as planting flowers, vegetables and making tea, and each has its own wonderful characteristics.
Mother Pang has a daughter, one of the best. She herself graduated from a famous university. Because her husband and I are both from other places, and there is no old man to take care of the children, we have to be out of touch with society. After her daughter was born, she became a full-time mother. Her vegetarian dishes are very good, and she is very picky about the freshness of ingredients and whether there are additives.
Mother Lu has a tall daughter, and her husband runs a teahouse in the luxurious Vanke Square. She often helps and drinks tea. She used to be an executive of a law firm, planting beautiful big rose peonies, soaking in scented tea every day, keeping her house clean and tidy, and taking care of flowers and plants.
Mother Wu has a pair of cute and obese sons, who may feel that they have completed their merits, no business and no part-time job. She usually likes fitness yoga and often does some difficult moves in her circle of friends. She likes to eat salad, which may help her keep healthy.
Mother Yuan has a pair of twin sons. She has resigned for more than ten years and has become a very capable housewife. She usually cooks very well, and her family has a comfortable economic environment. Her family has all kinds of good cooking tools, thousands of yuan of shredders, iron pots specially brought back from Japan, and the dishes she cooks are even more varied.
There are more and more excellent women around. Whether they are full-time mothers or not, they always have independent personalities, independent thoughts and personal charm. Dear friend, it is not easy to do anything well. No matter what choice you have, the most important thing is to know yourself, understand yourself, conform to your heart, do what you like, strive to grow up and live a full life.