Secondly, you must also keep improving your bonus points.
Be able to play musical instruments, understand art, be good at singing and dancing, have the ability to manage money, make money and work, and have a good hobby... these are all It's your plus point.
Especially cultivating hobbies is very important for women. It is precisely because some women live exciting and independent lives that they always maintain a beautiful heart in life, and they also have things they are willing to focus on.
If you have nothing to offer in your life, then your life is very barren, and then you will easily become dependent on others. If things go on like this, others will want you. Stay away from you.
Basically cultivate the above two major female charm points (beauty, temperament, self-characteristics, bonus points), and men will be initially attracted to you.
2. Make a book that men can’t put down—unavailability (unavailability, tossing and turning)
"Unavailability" refers to a characteristic that cannot be easily dominated, acquired, or possessed by the other party during the relationship.
In other words, you are not someone who is always available to him or her, nor is you someone who is completely controlled by him or her, nor is you someone who can do whatever he wants you to do immediately and honestly. That side, because everyone will only cherish their hard-won things, including people.
Men are born with a desire to conquer. The more difficult you are to control, the more fascinated they will be. And a charming woman must have a certain "unavailability".
Men are actually a bit mean, and this meanness is reflected in their choice of mate: they all hope to find a woman they know is valuable as a long-term partner.
Here comes the cheap part: What is valuable in a man’s perception?
Gentle and considerate, considerate, with big breasts and a good figure? No, these are just their basic criteria for choosing a mate.
And those that are not easy to obtain, are highly competitive, are beyond their control, are challenging... In short, the higher the cost, the harder it is to own. The more valuable.
Therefore, on the one hand, unavailability can fully mobilize men's curiosity and desire to conquer women, on the other hand, it also means that women are rare.
Rareness means reserve and loyalty, and this quality is the key to triggering a man's long-term mate selection.
Such unavailability is the nature of women, and it is also the quality that attracts men.
So, how to ensure your "unavailability" in a long-term relationship? 2 strategies:
The strategy is to appropriately break away from your type in his impression.
It’s very simple, just switch modes and you suddenly become different.
There is a fan. Before receiving consultation, she was a woman with a strong trust mentality and very dependent on her husband. She had to know the whereabouts of her man all the time every day to feel at ease. Typical "captive mode", after a long time, men become very impatient.
I asked her to change her mode. One day, she suddenly stopped caring so much. She no longer hung around men as usual, but found a new one. Have fun and mind your own business. There are no more life-threatening calls during the day. When I go home at night, I am happy and humming a little tune. My whole person is full of vitality and charm.
Sure enough, after several days of this, her husband took the initiative to call her and asked her what she was doing and when she would get off work.
Therefore, if you let a man form a stereotyped impression of you and what kind of person you are, then the way to break his impression is to break away from the stereotype and change Become a different person.
If a man thinks you are an insecure person, then you suddenly become independent and confident, which will bring him a sense of freshness.
If a man thinks you are a dull and boring person, then you suddenly turn on the interesting mode, understand love words, and know how to flirt, and you will instantly be attracted to him.
If a man thinks that you are a woman who is overly dependent on marriage and has no self, then you will be impressed by your sudden finding of a small career and your full devotion to it.
Strategies occasionally "abandon" men
My cousin has said many times that "giving effect "That is, for the same thing, people often feel that it is not very valuable when they get it, but once they have it and then lose it, they will feel the importance of such a thing.
In other words, for the same thing, the pain people experience when losing it is far greater than the happiness brought by getting it.
For example, one day, you picked up 100 yuan on the way home, and got an unexpected income from the sky, and you were very happy.
But when you got home, as a senior foodie, you saw your boyfriend warmly cooking a large table of dishes for you, so you quickly picked up the 100 yuan. The money thing was forgotten.
Then one day, on the way to work, you find that the 100 yuan you put in your coat pocket has disappeared. Apparently, it was stolen by someone on the crowded subway. .
Although losing 100 yuan is not a big loss, the annoyance and anger will always linger with you. As a result, you were not in a good mood that day and your work efficiency was extremely low.
Until I got home, I still complained angrily to my boyfriend about this matter.
Seeing this, you can think about which emotion is stronger for you, the excitement of picking up 100 yuan or the pain of losing 100 yuan. Woolen cloth?
Usually, the pain of losing 100 yuan is greater than the joy of getting 100 yuan.
Because when we pick up money, our psychology is in a "gain" state, but when we lose money, our psychology is in a "loss" state. .
Because of the endowment effect, we are more sensitive to "loss", so the pain of loss will last longer.
Therefore, you can take advantage of this to "abandon men" occasionally.
For example, the next time he does something that makes you dissatisfied, as usual, he will coax you with sweet words twice and you will forgive him, but this time, your forgiveness cycle You need to lengthen and toughen your attitude, set a bottom line, establish rules, and make him realize that you can't always tolerate him without a bottom line.
At the same time, this is also the process of slowly building a framework.
If he realizes his mistake and corrects it in time, everyone will be happy; if he is still stubborn, you are not afraid of losing this relationship.
Whoever is more afraid of losing this relationship will tend to be more controlled!
So, in conclusion, what kind of woman do men like more the more they get along with her?
Just grasp the two key points in the sentence "A graceful lady, a gentleman loves to chase (female attractiveness); if you can't get it, you toss and turn (female unavailability)" It’s enough to the extreme ~
——Happiness is your emotional backing