1.__________ for yi consume people emaciated classmate answer: wide clothes to untie the end do not regret (the correct solution for "clothes belt gradually wide end do not regret", I admit that this is the thought of the problem) 2. ask the channel where to get as clear as the Xu, __________ classmate answer: in the heart of the own clear spring in (the correct solution for "only the source of living water to", we still and water stick a little edge ~ ~ ~) 3.when *** cut the windows of the west window, we still and water The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal of money for the purchase of the product, and then you have to pay for it.
Later in the classroom, this matter, again dizzy! A move is also immobile, heh, very consistent with the facts a) 5.gentleman gentleman beauty, __________ students answer: the small man to take away the love (direct fainting death) 6.poor is alone good its own, __________ students answer: rich is concubines into a group (positive interpretation: the reach of the whole world) 7.__________ the world who do not know the gentleman students answer: as long as the appearance of Saddam (sweat.).
..) 8. harem beautiful three thousand people, __________ students answer: iron rod will also be sharpened into a needle ~~~~~~ (the correct interpretation of "three thousand favorites in a body") 9. body colorful phoenix wings, __________ students answer: plucking the hair of the phoenix is not as good as the chicken There are also a student answer: husband and wife to double the home (the correct interpretation of) "10. the east side of the sunrise and the west side of the rain, __________ classmate answer: bed head fights bed end together There is a classmate answer: on the wrong sedan chair to marry the right man 11. __________ chaff wife does not go down to the hall Classmate answer: knot hair husband does not go to bed (language teacher rage!) 12. wishing for a long time, __________ classmate answer: a forever (at the time wildly laugh, now feel quite classic.) The right solution for "thousands of miles *** Canyuan Juan") 13. Xisai Mountain before the egrets fly, __________ students answer: Dongcun River side climbing turtle (the right quite neat) 14. I persuade the heavens to shaking, __________ students answer: the heavens roar three roar to me (the right solution for the "not confine oneself to a pattern I was born with a talent that will be useful, __________ students answer: the key moment to show the power of another student answer: the son of a mouse will play the hole (the whole office of the language teacher collective no image of the maniacal laughter) 16.days if there is love days are also old, __________ students answer: people do not wind flow in vain! (The correct solution is "If the moon is not hateful, the moon will always be round" Li He "Golden Bronze Immortal Resignation Song") 17. Luoyang relatives and friends such as asking, __________ students answer: Please do not tell him (the correct solution is "a piece of ice in the jade pot") 18. final exams out of the couplet, the first line is the hero's sword is not old. The first couplet is the hero of the sword has not aged the junior classmates on the second couplet: the old lady charm especially existing 19. good medicine bitter mouth is beneficial to the disease, __________ students answer: do not eat is a big fool life since ancient times who have no death, __________ students answer: only the death of the order (ending: after the parent-teacher conference was left behind by the teacher admonished the bird ......) 20. The moonlight in front of the bed, __________ students A: Li Bai sleeping fragrant 21. Peeking into the tube, __________ students A: scared me (hahaha.) (Haha! The correct interpretation is "see a spot") 22.__________ fly into the common people's home Students A: Konka color TV 23.Grape wine night light cup, __________ Students A: money and beauty a whole lot of 24.__________, the road pedestrians want to break the soul of the first-year student's masterpiece: Ghosts knocking on the door in the middle of the night 25. There is also a test of Tao Yuanming's "I can not for five buckets of rice folded", students fill in the "give me six buckets on the" ... 26. old as we are old as well as the old man, __________ students answer (The teacher later said that the students have a special spirit of dedication, haha) 27.Think of the past, Jingo Tiema, __________ students answer: look at the present day, stalking (the correct interpretation of the "qi swallowed ten thousand miles such as a tiger") 28.Fifth-grade exams on the test to "Three ignorant cobblers,__________," the students answered: odor are the same (the supervisor and outside the principal laughed over) 29. two love if it is a long time,__________, the students answered: it is two people married 30. sinking boat side of a thousand sails,__________, the students answered: peacock open screen pattern more than one.
2. Funny ancient textSpeechless alone on the bar lights such as hemp lonely people late at night sprinkled hops drink not finished vomit still drunk not a taste of wine in the heart 1.__________ for Yi consume people emaciated students answer: wide clothes to solve the end of the unrepentant (the correct solution for the "clothes gradually wide end unrepentant", I admit that this is the thought of a problem) 2. Ask the canal where to get clear as Xu, __________ students answer: the heart has its own clear spring in (positive solution for "only the source of living water to", we are still and water stick a little edge ~ ~ ~) 3.when *** cut the candles in the west window, __________ students answer: husband and wife sitting to the daybreak (language teacher read the paper when the laughter dizzy.
Later in the classroom, this matter, again dizzy! A movement is also immobile, heh, very consistent with the facts ah) 5.gentleman gentleman, __________ students answer: small people take away the love of the people Poetry on the exams answer 6.poor is alone good, __________ students answer: rich is concubines into a group (positive interpretation: reach is concurrently to help the whole world) 7.__________, the world who do not know the gentleman students answer: as long as the appearance of Saddam 9. 9.身有彩双飞翼，__________ 同学答：拔毛凤凰不如鸡 还有：夫妻双双把家還 (正解为 "心有灵靈犀一点通") 10.东边日出西边雨，__________ 同學答：床头打架床尾合 还有：上错花轿嫁对郎 11.__________，糠糠之妻不不下堂 同學答：只要像萨达姆"。 The chaff of the wife does not go down to the hall The same student answer: knot hair of the husband does not go to bed 12. but wish people long, __________ The same student answer: a forever (then wildly laugh, and now feel quite classic.)
The correct interpretation is "Qianli*** Cain Juan") 13.Xisai mountain before the egret fly, __________ students answer: Dongcun river climbing turtle (right quite neat) 14. "not stick to one pattern to lower talent", Gong Zizhen) 15.Born with my talent will be useful, __________ students answer: the key moment show the magic power Another student answer: the son of a mouse will play the hole (the whole office of the language teacher collective image of the wild laughter) 16.Heaven if there is love day also old, __________ students answer: people do not The first thing you need to do is to get a good look at the color of the skin and the texture of the skin! (The correct solution is "If the moon is not hateful, the moon is always round." Li He's "The Golden Bronze Immortal's Song of Resignation to Han") 17.Luoyang friends and relatives like to ask each other, __________ students answer: please don't tell him (the correct solution is "a piece of ice in a jade pot") 18. The first couplet is the hero of the sword is not old The junior classmates on the second couplet for: the old mother of the charm especially existing 19. good medicine bitter mouth is beneficial to the disease, __________ students answer: do not eat is a big fool Life since ancient times who have no death, __________ students answer: just the death of the successive 20. bed before the bright moonlight, __________ students answer: Li Bai sleep incense 21. __________ students answer: scared me (hahaha.) __________, flew into the common people's home students A: Konka color TV 23. grapes and wine, __________ students A: money and beauty a lot of 24. __________, the road pedestrians want to break the soul of the first-year student's masterpiece: Ghosts knocking on the door in the middle of the night 25. There is also a test of Tao Yuanming's "I can not for five buckets of rice folded", students fill in the "give me six buckets on the" ... 26. old as we are old as well as the old man, __________ students answer (The teacher later said that the student has a special spirit of dedication when assessing the paper, haha) 27.Think of the past, Jingo Tiema, __________ students answer: look at the present day, stalking (the correct interpretation of the "qi swallowed ten thousand miles such as a tiger") 28.A fifth-grade exam on the test to "The Three Stooges, __________" The students answered: the odor is the same (the invigilator and the principal outside laughed out loud) . The first year students pair of pairs, "climbed the city between the white clouds to take the mountain color into the arms,__________" The same student answered: I went to the hotel to hold the lady on the bed (his language teacher almost on the spot vomited blood and died) 30. two love if it is a long time,__________ The same student answered: it is two people into the marriage 31. sinking boat on the side of a thousand sails over the __________ students answer: peacock open screen pattern more 32. book to use time party hate less, __________ students answer: money to the end of the month is not enough to spend 33. days if there is love days also old, __________ students answer: people if there is love die early (the correct interpretation of the "moon if there is no hate moon long round") 34. Life from ancient times who have not died, __________ students answer: who poop without paper (no language.) 35. 35. There was a test on Li Qingzhao's RuMengLing, "Do you know? I'm not sure if I've ever heard of it. ___________" The student answered: SORRY I,DON'T KNOW.
(The correct interpretation is "should be green, fat and red and thin") 36.Once examined Mr. Lu Xun a certain sentence: "___________, I will use my blood to splash Xuan Yuan" The student answered: "I will use my blood to splash Xuan Yuan. The student replied: He used his sword to 37. language exam, fill in the blanks of a revolutionary poem: "The door for people to enter and exit is locked, ________________ , a voice shouted: _________________ I long for freedom, but how can a human body crawl out of a dog hole ..." The student replied: "I want to be free, but how can a human body crawl out of a dog hole ..." The student replied: "I want to be free..." The student replied: "I don't know what to say. ..." The students answered: the hole for the dog to crawl out is also locked / Fuck, it's all locked! Deacon's hand, Fang Zhi ugly, tears, son does not go, I go 38.Thousands of mountains and thousands of water is always love, ___________ students answer: give one more line (the batch of teachers on the line: love is love, points are points, give one more can not be) 39.freshman year of high school, a monthly examination, the last sentence "up to the sky laughed out the door to go, (the correct interpretation) my generation is not a person of artemisia I'm not a man of the past." The class someone wrote: accidentally twisted to the waist.
There is also a sentence, the previous sentence: "water out of hibiscus, (correct interpretation) natural to carve decoration". Some people write, the mud out of the lotus root; there are people even more extreme, write: the world out of heroes 40. ask you can have a few more sorrows, ___________ students answer: just like a pot of two pots of head (the teacher criticized "you drink too much ......").
3. Seek a funny literaryI and my classmates **** invited three beautiful garden, halfway, the classmates said: "Shit urgent." And so they disappeared. Long time no see its return, the people suspected that: "Could it be constipation?" Sent me to explore.
As the old saying goes: who has no shit since the beginning of time, *** shit without paper. Today, my fellow students are really *** people! My heart is compassionate, fortunate to find a piece of broken paper, handing it.
There is a certainty in the underworld, as the saying goes, "People have their own heavenly income".
He used the broken paper to wipe the shit, too hard, the paper cracked, the hand touched the shit, violent dumping, the hand accidentally touched the ground, the pain is intolerable, the mouth to contain it, the shit inlet, the big surprise, jumped up, and inadvertently stumbled ......
As the saying goes: no coincidence is not a book.
When it tripped and fell, face downhill, in order to avoid the occurrence of "dog-eat-shit" tragedy, feet forward, straight into the bottom of the slope ......
That is, the bottom of the slope there is a pavilion, the three beauties at this time is resting in the pavilion! ......
Everyone knows that men and women have a chance to meet each other. The only this gentleman unique style, create their own "shit a thousand miles to meet". It can be said that no one before or after. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on this!
4. Who can give me some funny ancient text* George Bernard Shaw when he was young, like to ride a bicycle, once broke his leg bone, his female classmates are very considerate care of him, George Bernard Shaw was worried about his own will is not strong, will be proposed to the female classmates, he decided to sneak away. But accidentally fell from the stairs to the bottom of the stairs, both legs fell bad results he really asked her if she would marry him. When the girl nodded, George Bernard Shaw fainted. *A woman said to Maugham: I have been with a man for a long time, but I am not sure that I am in love with him. The famous writer had a very unique view of the test of love, saying: There is only one way to test whether you are really in love with him, and that is whether you are willing to brush your teeth with his toothbrush or not. Dumas was asked: How is it that you are able to enter your old age with peace of mind? He retorted in disbelief: I have spent my whole life living to this day. *When Fang Xuan Ling, a famous prime minister of the Tang Dynasty, was not yet a government official, he once fell seriously ill and said to his wife Lu, "If I die of my illness, you should not be a widow, but remarry. Lu went to her room and gouged out an eye to show that she would never change her ways. Later, Fang Xuanling recovered from his illness and rose to the position of prime minister, but always had great respect for his wife. *Agatha Christie's husband was an archaeologist. Christie's husband is an archaeologist, once, in a gathering of a friend asked him: such an imaginative woman as you, married to a play antiquities, how do you feel? The detective novelist said: An archaeologist is the ideal husband, you think, the older the thing, the more he likes it . * Voltaire visited England in 1727, he found that the English hated the French so much that a group of Englishmen roared at him: kill him, hang this Frenchman! Voltaire said: Englishmen! You want to kill me because I am French. Have I not been punished enough because I am not English? The Englishman laughed and laughed, and actually sent him all the way back to his apartment in peace.
5. to a funny literature about the dormitoryToday, work and other public transportation, pay money to get on the bus and sit waiting for the bus, suddenly see the wrong car, hurry to get off the bus, the driver asked *** why? I didn't have the heart to say on the wrong car, so calmly answered: spend a dollar on the car to rest a while.
Chemistry has a magical thing, it does not dissolve in acid does not dissolve in alkali does not dissolve in salt does not dissolve in organic matter. It water and fire do not invade the hundred poison does not hurt, whether it is in the blowtorch on the heating or through the high-voltage electricity are unharmed, it has the most stable and most excellent chemical properties, but it is always abandoned, its name is: impurities.
She was foolishly happy to store his number in her cell phone as her boyfriend early on, thinking that death would not be seen anyway. One day class party, he just happened to sit on the side of her, can not find a cell phone, asked her to borrow the phone to play, she was busy claiming that he did not have his number, but has been a handful of him snatched the phone, dialed up, looking at the screen jumped out of the three words, she blushed to death, he was slightly stunned for a second, and then found a cell phone from the bag to pick up and said: Hey, how do you only just call me?
"Miss you hair is very poor, want to..." "Eh how long have you done this line?" "Ah? I? I've been doing this for five years." "Oh." (Silence) "Miss would you like to do a meeting..." "Eh do you live in the neighborhood?" "Huh? Yes, yes." "Oh." (silence) "Miss..." "Married?" "Huh? Not yet." "Isn't your family in a hurry? "Uh, ahem..." (silently cut the hair)
Whoever asks me again, "How come people in the Northeast are still afraid of the cold?" I'll chop him up! Really call me speechless ... give me to remember this paragraph, we northeast windows are double, the balcony can be closed, heating is by geothermal, home is more than twenty-five degrees, down jacket is thickened, food is eaten while hot, heating is given in October, the northeast people are not polar bears, you say why we are afraid of the cold! We are well equipped! The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that!
There is a kind of women, independent, simple. Getting up early on weekends, drying the quilts outside the window, the smell of sunshine permeates the room, the corners of the mouth slightly upturned. The first thing you need to do is to get your hair dry, put on some light makeup, take a look in the full-length mirror, put on a few provocative poses, and give yourself a confident smile. Radio, old records, spend a cozy day. In the evening out on the street, inserted pockets, broken step, from the distant carnival crowd to find a real life old man, dancing in the square above.
There is another kind of woman, independent, simple. Get up early on weekends, dry the quilt outside the window, the smell of sunshine filled the air, the corners of the mouth slightly upturned. The first thing you need to do is to get your hair dry, put on some light makeup, take a look in the full-length mirror, put on a few provocative poses, and give yourself a confident smile. Radio, old records, spend a cozy day. In the evening out on the street, inserted pockets, broken step, from the distant carnival crowd to find a real life old man, dancing in the square above.
Don't just see people on TV acting out "Where's Dad Going" is hot, in fact, you've been directing your own life, such as you starred in "Where's the Object Going", "Where's the Good Body Going", "Where's the Cost of Living Going" and so on ...... is simply a tear-jerking masterpiece
"That's right I'm one of those deadbeat boyfriends! You think if you have a fight and slam the door I'm going to chase after you and bow my head and admit I'm wrong! I won't! You go ahead and leave! I won't chase after you! You're such a man! I'm kneeling here today you do not come back to my death, I can not afford to oooh, oooh, oooh."
Two days ago, a friend went to the immigration office to do passports, the summer vacation to Thailand to play, an excitement in the purpose of the country column wrote "Qin Guo". Directly to the form to the licensing staff, the licensing staff looked at the frozen half, deep love to him, said: "We only do this outbound, do not do across the business!
6. Classic funny classmate book messageFour years of acquaintance, you gently walked away, do not take away a piece of go color, but left a pile of shit, so stinky, so stinky!
You want to go with me to say it
You do not say how I know you want to go
Did you say I will not let you go
I can not not let you go
I will tell you:
All the way to go well!
If you were a shooting star, I'd wait for you;
If you were a satellite, I'd mount you;
It's just a pity you're a gorilla, I'd only have to visit you in the zoo.
Do everything calmly,
Do everything calmly,
Do everything thinking of God,
Wherever you go you don't tell people you're a psychopath!
You're so handsome, so cool, it's impossible to compare
If I lose you, I'll turn green,
I'll lose my courage to live, I can't study,
I'll lose the sweetness of my feelings, I won't have a gravitational pull on the earth,
I'll say it all, I can't live without you.
Honestly, you're quite good,
I'll tell you what I think.
My dear, I have a message for you:
Die early and be reincarnated!
XXX classmates
I wish you to rush forward like a panda; as clever as a mouse; as agile as a mosquito; as smart as a pig!
It's okay if you forget about me, never remember that I still owe you money!
The girl is big, let people worry ah! You have to study hard in the future, every day ah that up, up is the head and results, not myopia and blood pressure ah.
Finally, I wish you always happy and lucky. The world who does not know (her name) Missy also. The old age will bless AND bless you endlessly.
Hurray and Amen. Pro forma snot, do not know what to say.
7. Read the text in class funny classmates clipWhen the math class, Mr. Chen lectured on the podium, while my desk, but leisurely and comfortable sitting on the stool, and behind him Qu Dongchan played a "hide the rubber" game, my desk to hide the rubber, hypocritical and asked: "". Hey, where's your eraser?" Qu Dongchan anxiously looked straight up, reaching out to the table for the eraser: "Give it back to me!" "I didn't take it!" The same table smile, do not care about said, but she did not notice, Mr. Chen is step by step approaching him, and when the table reacted, Mr. Chen is holding his jump rope, the table before and after a circle, and back to the podium to go to class.
But not a moment later, the table untied the rope, but also happy to say: "Look, I'm capable of it!" Mr. Chen lectured for a while, found that it is not right, the rope on the same table disappeared, then angrily asked: "Where is the rope?" "It ...... it itself ...... loose ...... loose down." This can make Mr. Chen angry and furious, "Sun Jinye, come out!" Chen teacher yelled to the same table, the same table stood on the podium, Chen teacher once again took out the jump rope, the same table up and down front and back around, and then pushed him to the back of the classroom, we can not help but look haha laugh.
8. Translate this into Mandarin, funnyA clear night, my phone was collected by Mr. for some reason, but not lonely, because I have a dead friend, Tan, with me!
Life is like this: if you're in a crisis, you might as well let go of it, and the tide will rise again after the tide falls, and the flowers will bloom again after the tide falls!
After that, Mr. to be tempted me, but I secretly want to not as ***, it said: "If your grades up into the top 100 in the grades, then also cell phone." I color calm, the heart is really stirring repeatedly!
To be determined, and then discouraged, one hundred is not a small number, I fear that a lifetime of climbing is also difficult to reach, although the real gold is red, but I doubt that I am not gold ah!
But this is the case, there is no need to dwell on the beginning, so I set my mind to go forward, it is really not easy
Afterwards, I have to go through the day, the hardship can be imagined.