"Although it is not uncommon for disabled people to live a tenacious life, only those who have experienced it personally will understand the hardships. There is no natural strong person, and a person will only be truly strong if he stands on the edge of a cliff. " This is the prelude to "struggle". Since it was released in August last year, as of June 65438+ 10 this year, Struggle has sold 270,000 copies, making it one of the best-selling books in Japan this year. This autobiographical novel describes the author Takeda Machong's bumpy 29-year life path. Japanese women whose height is less than 1.5m mingle with the tall and stout American crowd. Her natural and unrestrained posture and confident expression are so striking. This is takeda's hemp bow. This has been her life for 29 years. She will go forward and never back down. Being deaf and dumb means a lonely and silent world for a 3-year-old girl. Due to the side effects of the scarlet fever therapeutic agent, this bad luck befell the horseman. However, in her young mind, she still longed for happiness and friends, so she refused to go to a school for the deaf. However, she didn't get what she wanted. She was bullied from kindergarten to high school. At that time, the hearing AIDS were big and heavy, hanging on the chest like two big peaches. This makes the hemp bow an excellent target of ridicule, and the female students just smile. Boys who play pranks always touch and say some obscene language, thinking that deaf people can't hear others anyway. Living under ridicule all day, the jockey became withdrawn and timid. She is always alone, swallowing silently when eating. But she still maintains a strong self-esteem. In order not to let more people see her pitiful appearance, she often hides in the bathroom to eat. She can't answer questions in class, and no teacher is willing to answer her questions. She can't go to physical education class or play her favorite vault game. Horse workers were very confused at one time, unable to find the meaning of their existence, and even thought of death. Children who suffer always mature earlier. After entering high school, Ma Gong's thoughts began to change. She thought: If others only get angry and cry when they bully themselves, that's exactly what they want. It's better to laugh it off and let those bad guys fail. Since then, a smile often appears on the jockey's face, but the smile contains anger and tears, and the most tragic experience as a girl: 16 years old, a strange man said that he would teach the jockey to practice his voice and took her to the corner of the campus to rape her. "Japanese men are bad people. They are very dangerous. " The jockey began to think, "If I fall in love one day, I will definitely choose black people. They are regarded as inferior because of their different skin colors and should have a lot of feelings with me. " The 25-year-old jockey wants to live in America more and more. At that time, she fell in love with a black man named Troy. Troy is married and is going through divorce mediation. Ma Gong was convinced of what he said. He sent faxes until he returned to America, but it was still hard to stop the growing yearning. Therefore, Ma Gong quit her job in an advertising company. In order to save money to go to America as soon as possible, she resolutely became a waitress in an entertainment center. Soon, the deaf-mute waitress became famous in the entertainment circle, and all the guests called her "Leopard Girl". Various media have also paid attention to it and published many articles introducing her. In this way, in two years, Magong saved 20 million yen (equivalent to RMB 6.5438+0.4 million). Finally, she got her wish and set foot on the road to America. However, when Ma Gong arrived in New Jersey excitedly, what she saw was that Troy, whom she missed day and night, was still married and lived a quiet life with his wife and two daughters. It suddenly dawned on her that her feelings had been played. The horseman didn't want to go back to Japan, so he came to new york with a broken heart. In my hotel, I met a young black man, Kalou. Karlu took a fancy to this thin and white oriental woman and launched a crazy pursuit. Ma Gong, a stranger, feels lonely and helpless. Coupled with internal trauma, he soon fell into the arms of Kalou. Soon after, they applied to New York City Hall for marriage and became a formal couple. Ma Gong had many good hopes for marriage, and later found out that her husband was HIV-positive. Not only that, he is also a member of a violent group that sells drugs and kills people without blinking an eye. Karlu doesn't want to do any serious work at all, let alone save money, so it is difficult to maintain family expenses. In desperation, the jockey had to return to his old job and make a living as a topless dancer in a bar. However, she still loves her husband deeply and believes that he can turn over a new leaf one day. As long as he can afford it, the Malaysian trade union will do it without complaint. However, Kalou became sinful, and she became worse and worse in the face of a weak and kind wife. Soon, the newly married life became a violent day with swords and sticks. "As long as you dare to run away from me, I will find you and tear you to pieces!" The husband threatened the jockey like this, took out a photo of his raped and killed body and asked, "You don't want to do this!" " When Karlu met something unpleasant outside, he took it out on his wife when he got home, pinched her neck, scratched her wrist with a knife, or pointed a gun at her head. Many times, the jockey felt that he was on the verge of death, and the mental and physical torture had reached the limit. She tried to commit suicide, but failed, and was sent to a mental hospital by her neighbor. It was a safe moment. With the help of doctors and staff, the jockey summoned up the courage to report her husband's atrocities. Kalou was arrested. For horse workers, Doraj, a 26-year-old black man, is simply the best gift from God. There is a high-class apartment in the block where the jockey works, and Doraj is the night guard there. Unlike Kalou, whose face is full of blood and horror, Doraj has a pair of gentle eyes, peaceful and humble. At his side, the jockey finally laughed. Doraj works hard. Although the night guard's salary is not high, only $300 a week, what makes the jockey happy is that her husband is an honest worker and he will live at home with every penny he earns. Every night at 7 o'clock, no matter what happens, the jockey will put down his work and prepare dinner for his husband before going to work. It's usually western-style steak and macaroni, and occasionally a table of Japanese dishes is served. No matter what hemp bow does, Doraj will devour it, and only Japanese natto has never been used to it. On one occasion, the horseman mischievously brought him natto sushi, and Doraj took a bite and screamed and blushed. The jockey said proudly, "Ha! It turns out that you blacks will blush! " Perhaps this is the long-awaited happiness of the horsemen. "Peace is the best." She always says this with emotion. Take the subway from Times Square in downtown new york, and then transfer to a bus. It takes about 20 minutes to drive 1 hour, and there is a tree-lined community. There are a large number of Japanese and Japanese people living here, and signs with Chinese characters are everywhere. Ma Gong and Doraj live in this block. It's just a simple apartment with a bedroom, a dining room and a kitchen in one place. Today, they are a family of three, and Mei Cheng Angela, who is 1 year old, is the apple of the couple's eye. Maybe he inherited the restless gene of hemp bow. When he was three months old, he had to eat milk every two or three hours. When he was nine months old, he could walk more than two meters with things. Someone said to the jockey, "Why don't you try to write a book about your tortuous life experience?" Yes! For a person who can't express it in words, writing out the ups and downs in his heart is the best way to talk. Ma Gong decided to start writing with the most straightforward title "Struggle". However, writing autobiographical novels made the jockey hesitate again. Because when she worked as a waitress in an entertainment center in Japan, she was strongly opposed by her parents. Later, because the deeds were published by many media, the family often received boring harassing calls. Her parents broke up with her in a rage. Now if you publish autobiographical novels, you will definitely write a lot of things that parents don't want to know, which is undoubtedly another blow to the two old people. What shall we do? Ma Gong decided to describe herself, but she would write a long letter to her parents before the book was published to gain their understanding. Just then, Mei Cheng was born. Coupled with the formal settlement of the divorce problem with Carew, the jockey has never been able to find time to write. Last August, Struggle was published. "Mom and Dad will be very angry." She felt very uneasy. Not long after, I received a fax at home, which was sent by my mother! "We saw your book, as if also saw you live a strong life in new york. Mei Cheng is our eldest granddaughter. I hope she can grow up healthily. Ma Gong, who is your stubborn character like? We are proud of you and wish you all the best. Everything is fine in my hometown, don't worry. " No matter how difficult it was, Ma Gong never cried, but after reading the fax, she cried. She finally got the understanding of her parents. Later, Ma Gong said, "In fact, my parents have always understood me, but I don't understand their painstaking efforts. This is what I gradually understood during my days as a mother. " Until now, the memory of childhood is still clearly in the mind of the jockey. I remember my mother was very strict with her when she was five or six years old and just started practicing sign language. Young hemp bows always feel wronged and are often taught to cry by their mothers. But at this time, she will find her mother crying secretly. That's because she still can't understand all this. She always hates her mother for being cruel. Now Ma Gong finally understands that if she can't master sign language well, it will be difficult for her to communicate with others, and she will live in a lonely and narrow world all her life. Now, she can work, fall in love and raise her offspring, which should be said to be given by her mother. The horseman's heart is full of gratitude. At the end of Struggle, she wrote: "I thank all those who have given me love, and I also thank myself for fighting my fate for 29 years. Because, it is in this struggle that I learned to experience love, and I also learned to give love to people around me, my parents, husbands, children and even more people without reservation. "