After giving birth to a child, I wonder if you have ever gotten over that shitty day?
When you needed to work, did you have to get up before 6 a.m. every morning to make breakfast, watch your little one while tidying up the kitchen, doing laundry and cleaning?
In order to be able to have someone with your little one throughout the day, you had to invite your mother-in-law and father-in-law over. So you need to live with them, all kinds of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts began to grow, a little bit of small things will be infinitely magnified. Every day when you come home from work, waiting for you will be three or even four "baby". The fact that you can't wait to have three heads and six arms is a good thing.
Faced with such a high-intensity life, you begin to work in the time of the force, because the energy are consumed in the home. Napping at work, deserting, thinking about how your little one is doing and whether something will happen ------
The boss looks at your situation and shakes his head repeatedly, and his dissatisfaction with you builds up ------
The second child, is destroying our work!
After looking back on all this, I wonder if you still dare to imagine the scene after having a second child?
In the morning, dropping off the older one and then taking care of the younger one, the already tight schedule seems even more rushed. You may even need to sacrifice more sleep. This will make the work that was a little bit better immediately become chaotic again. I don't know how your boss will look at you at this point.
When you're sitting in the office, you have to keep an eye on your cell phone at all times for fear that something will happen to your two children. Today, the older one fought with the kids at school, you rushed over, tomorrow, the younger one cried non-stop at home for half a day, you rushed back. The most terrible thing is that the two together, in-laws can not cope with the husband is busy, you can only run both sides of the ------ I do not know imagine that after such a scene, you have not backed off?
The second child, is ruining our lives!
Husband every day there are endless meetings, endless errands, endless drinks, busy with the two children to earn money, which still have time to give you a hand?
You complained that the other party is not considerate of their own, but the husband said: "You can watch the children at home with me tired?" You've been angry about this for a long time, haven't you?
With two children, the huge expenses and pressure to make you no longer dare to be so careful as before, every day, also do not repair, unkempt, how convenient how to come, obviously only thirty years old, hard to boil themselves into a yellow face. Love of beauty, all people have the heart, let alone men? Which a man can stand his wife so dirty, so your husband began to often intentionally or unintentionally sneer at you, but for the sake of the two children, you can only tolerate.
Originally, you said you'd take a trip once a year, and you've been looking forward to it for a long time, but you just had to give it up. "So busy, and there are still many places to spend money, how dare you think of any travel? And with two kids, you can't play at all, right?" This is the sincere words of almost all mothers of two children.
And what about the in-laws? Originally it was hard to help you finish bringing up your child, only to clear your mind and take a walk or square dance every day. Now they are recruited again and squeezed into a small house. It's a torture for them, isn't it more torture for you? They need you to take more care of them in their old age, and if you meet the bad ones, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is even more difficult! In case you encounter patriarchal, and then happen to ------ simply unimaginable.
Previously, a child, okay education some, today, you have to be busy dealing with two children between the various conflicts. Then you will realize "Why is the child's education problem so complicated?"
Think about it before you have a second child!
1, husband and wife are healthy enough
You know, the older a person gets, the poorer the quality of eggs, high blood pressure, ectopic pregnancy, amniotic fluid embolism and other kinds of risks are also increased. And when a man reaches this age, he tends to smoke, drink, socialize a lot, and his body is basically sub-healthy.
2, whether the economic conditions allow
A month's salary on those, the big baby's tuition, extracurricular tutoring fees, the little baby's milk powder, diapers, life of all kinds of expenditures, every day like burning money.
If you can stay at home full time with the kids, it's okay, otherwise it's best to forget about it.
Of course, if you want to find a better job but don't have the means to do so, and have just graduated a few years ago, then I would recommend searching for "work ah", either part-time or full-time, which may be able to help you a bit.
3, there is no one to help with the baby
Nanny is not reliable, the old man's concept of parenting and most of them have been out of date, in terms of bringing up the child will inevitably have differences.
And the child with the old man together for a long time, and parents will have a sense of distance. In addition, the parents have been tired all their lives, and have no obligation to give us a child in their old age.
4, the mentality is good enough
Renewal of a, are you ready to go through another physically and mentally exhausting?
The first three months of sleeplessness and anxiety, the second three months of hobbling, tossing and turning, back pain and leg cramps, pre-delivery fears, post-operative pain, and the accumulation of breast milk, high fever, day and night and daily panda eyes.
Family conflicts won't be avoided by having a child, they'll just be re-enacted like a movie. The disagreements of raising a child, not knowing when a big battle will break out, even the best grooming can not escape.
Since you've decided to have another one, are you mentally prepared to have a mediocre career or even give up your job? Of course, there are women who have a successful family career, but that's a minority, and most women struggle to do so.
What can't be ignored is also the emotions of the eldest child. Does the eldest baby accept the arrival of a younger brother or sister? How to balance the love given to the big baby and the second baby? All these need to be done well in advance.
I don't know what you think about the second child? Welcome to leave a comment below and discuss the problems encountered together