That's right, a lot of men do need to work on their "speaking" skills. According to the observation, some of them are not the best, but they are more capable of capturing women's hearts through their superior speech skills. I'm sure you've seen it happen before.
The French philosopher Voltaire said, "Give me ten minutes, and I can convince any woman with just my mouth. Of course, it's impossible to determine how much bragging was involved in that statement, but we can venture to speculate that a man's mouth seems to have unlimited potential.
The question is, what are the qualities of a man who can talk? Is it the knowledge of astronomy and geography? Is it sweet talk, abduction and coaxing? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty. Or simply as a "most faithful listener" to give comfort and encouragement at any time and place?
The 3 basic skills of a good conversationalist: listening, asking questions, and storytelling
First of all, you have to learn how to listen. Women hate men who talk incessantly, who have an inflated ego, who interrupt others, and who only talk about themselves from beginning to end. Because in the eyes of women, this is at best a sign of insecurity, or else it's a sign that they're thinking, "What are you trying to prove?
New-age women are smart. They see too much and hear too much, what you say, where to discount what, reflecting what kind of person you are, most of them have a good idea. After all, many women have developed their own set of rules to assess the authenticity of men.
Successful communication is a two-way street. Especially when a woman is willing to talk, you'd better open your ears and listen carefully. A woman's willingness to talk to you does not necessarily mean that she likes you, but at least you have let her produce the initial "trust". When the attraction between men and women is built on a platform of trust, the relationship is solid.
Of course, one of the main purposes of listening is to gather information. You can learn directly from a woman: what she craves, what she hates, what she cares about, and her attitudes and values about things. How to do this? The key is to use open-ended questions to guide the woman.
For example, sometimes it's suddenly serious: "What do you think is the biggest challenge for you at work?" or "What do you think is the biggest challenge in a relationship? Or, "What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship?" Or "I'd like to know what you think about life. What do you think people should pursue in life?
This is the ability to ask questions. You see, successful program hosts are great questioners. I know, these questions seem very serious at first glance, but if you can cut through them in the right atmosphere, you'll definitely get unexpected results.
In addition to gathering information, asking questions is also a key skill in creating and continuing conversation. A lot of men are worried about not having something to talk about, and the solution is to use your keen observation skills to guide the direction of the conversation through the use of "questions.
For example, if you see a girl with a cute bag in her hand, you can naturally point to it and say, "Where did you get that? When she replies that it was a trophy from an online auction, you can cut to the chase and talk about everything from auction fun to online romance.
That said, I think it's less about what you talk about and more about the atmosphere. Most of the time, I don't intentionally limit my topics because I want to create a simple atmosphere where girls feel comfortable talking to me and don't feel pressured.
But it's not just the atmosphere that women want, they want to meet a man who inspires them. In other words, if you can give your insights on things, or point out the unseen subtleties, and describe them in a storytelling scenario, you'll make her flutter like never before.
These are some of the topics that can promote intimacy:
1. What do you do for a living? (Why do you like it? What are the biggest challenges? What are your biggest frustrations? What is your vision for the job, for the future?)
2. What have you accomplished in your life so far? (Any major setbacks?)
3. What do you love most? (Why are you interested)
4. <Recently>What is the most impressive happy event in the last year? (or how about something unfortunate?)
5. With work, what kind of things would you do?
6. How do you like to vacation?
7. Want to be famous? (Why)
8, If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
9, What was the situation in the family, how you grew up, from childhood to adulthood?
10. What are the strengths of your personality in your upbringing? (Are there any weaknesses that you are afraid of?)
11. What kind of relationship do you want to develop?
12. Are you romantic? (How romantic?)
13, What do you think is the difference between men and women?
14, What would make you happy?
15, What makes you sad?
16. When you were a child, what did you hope to be when you grew up?
17. What, in your opinion, makes you different from others?
18. Do you believe in gods? (What do you think about gods?)
19. To what extent do you think your personal behavior has an impact on changing society?
20. In your opinion, what are some important events in society right now? (What actions would you take, if possible?)
Some of the above topics may seem overly personal, especially for a first date, but remember that there are few people who don't care about themselves, and everyone is happy to discuss their problems as long as they don't question each other like they're on a household survey.
And there are three areas of conversation that are good for any occasion: food, family, and philosophy.
It is probably a Chinese custom that the man should be the main character on a first date, and the woman should be more subtle. The man should take the initiative and ask questions to stimulate conversation. The two sides should avoid a long period of cold feet. Dating topics, it is best to make the atmosphere can be pleasant topics, the content of the conversation requires a wide range of popular, short questions, to make the other party happy to answer, but also to answer. You can talk about work and study, hobbies and interests, life trivia, do not make the other side of the blank and embarrassed, and do not ask some of the other side of the problem is difficult to speak. If the other side is silent, you should quickly change the topic.
Men and women can consciously make some self-introduction, including their own family members and personal hobbies, specialties, etc., but do not self-aggrandizement. Don't let it get in the way of a first date. Swearing is even more important, otherwise, it will be seen as disrespectful to each other, uncivilized, rude.
Dating must be happy, happy mood and state of mind, because dating is not a class, no need to preach even less to the personality of the appeal, so the topic must be relaxed.
If she likes to talk a lot, don't interrupt her. You may as well just be a faithful listener. And don't talk about academic subjects yourself.
Dating, the topic is best to take the village around the things that often happen, such as television programs, newspapers, social pages and other aspects of the topic, or about music, using their own side of the lovely pets, such as cats, dogs, tropical fish, pigeons, birds and so on, because to talk about some fun and easy topics, can be closer to you two strangers to the distance.
The first move: around the pursuit of career, looking for the topic of the "flash point"
Career is a person's life fundamental. Any one of the cause of hard work, the pursuit of life is not idle young people, once with people to talk about the topic of work, life, will be bright up. Therefore, grasp him in this regard some of the "flashpoints" to dig the topic, you will certainly talk about hot and heavy.
Su Xin is a career-minded girl, but she is introverted, and not good at socializing, so the twenty-something big girl, so far, "Auntie residence alone, no Lang". One day, a colleague introduced her to a police officer, Leon. At the first meeting, the introducer said a few words as a matter of routine and left. The two of them were left in an awkward situation with neither of them speaking.
Su Xin, who saw that the situation was not good, was quick-witted and said, as if carelessly, "Your job as a policeman is hard, not to mention that you are always in danger of losing your life, and your family and loved ones are also involved, which is difficult for ordinary people to accept." Dawn heard, anxious, immediately took over Su Xin words, from the cause and ambition, life and the pursuit, dedication and solicitation, and other aspects of the greatness and pride of the profession in which they are engaged.
More than two hours of dating passed unnoticed in each other's talk and laughter. At the end, Su Xin sent an affectionate smile to Dawn. In the "critical moment" of her first date with Dawn, Su Xin seized on the other side's love of her job as a flashpoint to find a topic, as if it were "unintentional", but in fact it was a deliberate attempt to throw out the proposition of "which is more important, family or career?
The second trick: around hobbies and interests, looking for the topic of "**** Ming point"
Everyone has their own hobbies and interests, even if a more reticent person, as long as people talk about his hobbies and interests, he will also mouth like a river. However, the first time you meet, you do not know what his hobbies are, how to do? It doesn't matter, you may want to talk about your own hobbies, to a throwback, and then in each other's hobbies and interests in the search for **** Ming point, in order to increase understanding and deepen feelings.
A month is through the newspaper on the marriage advertisement to recognize the A Tong. The first time they met, they both felt uncomfortable. They talked briefly for a while around the stormy days and months as if they were memorizing their lines, and then they had nothing to say. After a few moments of silence, Ah Yue had a bright idea and took the initiative to propose: "Let's go to karaoke, how about it?" "Karaoke?" Ah Tong hesitantly followed up. "Yes, sitting in the card seat, while savoring the fragrance of tea and coffee, while listening to the music of passionate or affectionate, life's worries and sorrows, work's tension and fatigue are like a wisp of smoke with the wind, accompanied by you will be relaxed, cozy, happy." Ah Yue paused, and gazed y at Ah Tong, "Do you think so?" "Although I am not a big fan of singing and dancing, but after listening to your insightful discussion, I feel the inspiration and power of music in life.
No wonder readers criticize my work for lacking a kind of passion." "You mean, you like to read and write? That's a good feeling, music and writing, culture and art, are originally a 'family'." In the month and Ah Tong conversation is difficult to continue, the smart month to find the time to introduce their own interests to Ah Tong, to test out where his interests. When her hobbies and interests of the child appear contradictory, she again cleverly expand each other's interests to a broad field, so as to find "a family" of **** Ming point.
The third trick: around the environment, looking for the topic of the "focus"
The environment is a dynamic change, casual and rich in connotation of the topic. It is not a playground like the wind and snow, moaning, but through the capture of this topic reflects a person's ideology, moral wisdom, the level and taste in the world.
It can be said that a good at observing things, analyzing problems, dealing with contradictions, as long as the focus of the search topic on the environment, the topic will be inexhaustible.
In the area of Jiangsu and Zhejiang, there is a custom for the male party to go to the female party's home. This day, the anonymous group of family members to support the family and Chunhui in the home alone date. Chunhui walked into the house, casually commented on her home, but the anonymous group is a typical conservative and introverted girl, and so Chunhui finished, did not pick up the conversation.
The conversation came to an impasse, the whole room is only the TV set, "Zhuzhugge" twittering sound, the two are quietly looking at the fluorescent screen, who did not speak again. At this time, anonymous group's heart straight anxious. However, she did lack the courage to meet Chunhui positively, then face the TV talking to herself like saying: "Now the TV channel is rich, but the lack of wonderful programs. You look at this 'Pearl Palace', the whole plot is hilarious, not a little taste, and not much practical significance." "That's not true, look at that Little Swallow ......"
The lost topic instantly stirred up Chunhui's talk. "What do you think of Ertai's crime of taking on the prison robbery alone to save Xiaoyanzi and Ziwei?" "I admire Ertai for being upright, chivalrous and righteous, such a friend is now too little ......"
The anonymous group in the first time with Chunhui talk obstacles, on the spot, the topic of the focus on the TV program being broadcast, the It makes people sound natural, casual and relaxed, at the same time she is good at using the topic to find what she needs to know, ostensibly to listen to Chunhui's evaluation of Ertai's conduct in the world, but in fact, it is to examine Chunhui's own principles and level of conduct in the world.
The fourth move: around social life, looking for the topic of "excitement".
Social life is all-encompassing, you always have some of the deepest experience in life, the most want to say, the most disgusted or favorite people and things, the most concerned about or the most hope to get what it, then, your conversation with friends appeared to be "jammed", just casually pick one of the most excited you! "The first thing that you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
According to the arrangement of the introducer, Xiaoqing walked into the park with a magazine in her hand and met with another boy with a magazine in his hand, Ayi. The two of them reported their homes as if they were taking a recruitment test, and then wandered along the park's lakeshore in silence.
Xiaocheng felt that since the two were on a blind date, they should talk to each other to improve their understanding of each other, and what was the point of not talking to each other? She frowned, the plan came to her. "What magazine are you holding in your hand, can I take a look?" "Just bought China Cosmetics. It's a pretty good magazine, classy." Yi briefly introduced it while handing the magazine to Xiao Qing. "Wow, I can't tell that you're quite knowledgeable about beauty fashion." "Don't you dare praise me like that. I'm just a hobby.
First give some topics:
Girls must be interested in - her hobbies and interests (this will be based on how much you know about her interests to chat, to want to chase her, what she likes what you have to like, and more or less to understand some, but even if you are an expert in this area, you have to pretend to ask some questions she must know. Some of the questions she must understand, modesty, let the girl think you have a lot of connotation, if you ask her not too understand, just say "I heard that this is so 。。。。". (Don't tell her in too much detail, give her a thought, let her give you an explanation, so open the topic,)
You think ah, in the past, beauty make-up is only a woman's fashion, and now people's living standards improved, the pursuit of the long ago changed, why can't the man live a little bright and brilliant it. They are around the fashion, from make-up to fashion, from playing "cool" to the darkness of the sky, until the two broke up, has been like a pair of lovers have been in love for a long time.
Xiaocheng's cleverness lies in the fact that when she thinks of a book, she always brings up a lot of topics related to the book. Even if Ayi is only holding the book for show, and is not interested in the book or in a particular topic, he will always be interested in the many topics of social life that the book brings up, so their initial conversation is very successful and tacitly understood. Girls may be interested in:
One of the interesting things around, anecdotes, you have to talk about some of the lively, even if it is not what is interesting, but also to talk about interesting, show your cheerful humor, which is very important, to her from time to time to send out a question, "I feel this how they how do you think na,,,,?" This avoids you speak alone, but also through the understanding of her views to understand her character, two, horoscope, her birthday constellation must be mastered, this skill lies in, if her what is suitable for friends of the constellation, suitable for the marriage of the constellation, if it is not your horoscope, or nemesis horoscope is your horoscope, in any case, to your disadvantage on the table to say, understand it, on the contrary, to your advantage can be mentioned, Joking tone, but can not be too heavy, mentioned can immediately change the subject, do not have to ask her opinion, the girl is sensitive, too early to show your intention may be absolutely 、、、、、 her constellation of personality traits can be discussed with her, "people say XX seat. I don't think you're like that either/sometimes you're a bit like that, do you think that's a good personality," if she says the horoscope is off limits, she'll put the true personality of the person in question in a different way. Not allowed, she will tell you the real character, deepen the understanding, if allowed, you can a praise her, etc.,,,
Three, film and television news, the new release of what movies, what TV series is very hot, if she likes this aspect, you can talk to her, or try to get her to talk about the views of the understanding of her inner world, if she did not see the movie just released, you can say that before she said that the movie is good / scene great. This movie is great/great scene/great director/great starring cast 。。。。。。 You happen to have tickets to the movie (which happen to be very important, you can say buddies, relatives sent), and then suffering from no one to accompany, and then invite her, because the movie has just been released, she said to watch it and then rejected your chances are very small. 。。。。。。
Four, gossip entertainment, celebrities or people around, but behind the back of others is not good, first you want to make sure that she is interested in, this is used with caution,
Five, jokes and riddles, if she is not very H to avoid the yellow paragraph, riddles to be appropriate to whet her appetite, whether it is jokes or riddles should be prepared to prepare some new, interesting, close relationship can be a little ambiguous, but also some of the chatting skillfulness
1, chat with the girl to master the fire, that is, according to your relationship with her near and far to change the scope of the chat topic, chat frequency, if you just met, then do not every day to find people to chat, the topic is best to choose her side of the matter, her interests related to, there is also jokes and riddles are also good,
2, there are a lot of people will be the error of a text message, or a sentence of QQ, asked 3 or more questions, the girl may answer a very messy, and some can only answer the last within a question, this kind of questioning in a barrage, less than thought you check the account interrogation of prisoners na, the girl will feel very uncomfortable, to remind you of the best one time to ask 1 or 2 questions, should not be too much,
3, Similarly, you also want to avoid the form of question and answer, to do is to ask her at the same time to express A little bit of your opinion of the question you want to ask, for example, "I think this 。。。。。。 What do you think? / What do you think?" 4, topic diffusion, chat with the girl from a topic of conversation, a topic of conversation finished how to do, from the content of the chat just now to find a new topic, that is, to run the subject, understand, this is what you want to think about on the spot,
5, change the subject - the use of related words, if the above that one did not do, how to open a new topic to be used to related words, "Eh words 。。。。。?" "From what you just said I remember 。。。。。。?" Even if the ellipsis part has nothing to do with what she said, this will still give her an illusion that you are thinking from her words, so that she feels that your turn of phrase is not tenderly abrupt,
6, if you can't find the topic, immediately exit the conversation, say you have something to do, withdrawn, and then talk again, so that the initiative is in you, and to avoid a cold scene, so that she feels that you are always talking about the enjoyment of looking forward to the next conversation,
6. The next conversation,
The same sentence, with different ways to say it will have different effects, first look at these sentences:
1. you marry me on the good, looking for you to get the money do not have to say borrowed. (Men not only solve the embarrassment of borrowing money from women, but also make women happy for lending money to men, slippery men to take advantage of will also please women)
2. Your skin is so white, shine so that I have no darkness. (Flattery of other people's words, but also can say so not to show the shape, is a little exaggerated)
3, how you look like white bones, can not see the age of ah. (Ha, saying this to a middle-aged woman must make them feel like they're really beautiful like a leprechaun)
4, I'm going to miss you, because every night I have to break up with you. (Make leaving work interesting and meaningful like this too)
5. You go back to cooking first, I'm going to wait a while before I go back. (Originally, the front and back half of the sentence is a meaning, but put together to say, there is a flirtatious tone)
6, I will wait for your big bad wolf is not at home, otherwise, you will be afraid to see me. (Online chat commonly used jokes, in the end who is afraid of who is not afraid, anyway, the big bad wolf is not at home on the good)
7, a few days do not see, you see I think you want to think of thin. (Thin is probably the fact, but why thin, is the philandering man also infatuation?)
8, quickly progress when the leader ah, I am waiting for you to put me submarine rule it. (Haha, there is also this waiting for others to submerge rules, really flattering people also have to take advantage of the early!)
9, I waited for you to become a vixen until the flowers are thankful. (If you say directly, I hope you come to seduce me, it is too uninteresting right)
10, the next life is not allowed to marry someone else, I first booked yo. (The next life, this life to please)
11, you accompany me, I will not sleep. To sleep we go to sleep together. (Online anecdote, accompany is also at the ends of the net, go to sleep together will also be each sleep, but how is the meaning of this word so ambiguous?)
12, you give me the money in charge, I will help you spend like a wife. (Do not say anything, hand over the passbook, do not tell her the password yo)
13, see you, I began to feel regret ah, because the wife's establishment is only one. (Originally reserved for you, but unfortunately did not know you at that time. This kind of talk is good to say, is to take advantage of a little cheap Well)
14, men and women match, work is not tired. You know what the job is? (Don't think wrongly, think wrongly and you'll be tricked)
15, yesterday after you left, I once again feel out of love. (To say that you like someone is really an adult game)
17. Why do you dress up so beautifully and always hang around in front of me, so that I can make a mistake? (To flatter women, but also to tease women, it is a lot of effort
Welcome to ask questions well, the above is based on my own and girls chat experience summarized, purely original, feel to see a gain on the adoption of a bar,
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