(shaking to the student union)
Freshman: "Wow! As soon as you enter the door, it is the learning department. Our school really focuses on learning! "
Learning cadre: (As soon as the freshmen entered the door, they met the minister of learning department, and she was there with a collection of poems in her hand, reading with emotion) "so bright a gleam on the foot of my bed, could there have been a frost already?. Lifting myself to look, I found that it was moonlight, sinking back again, I thought suddenly of home! " (Khan! ! ! ! ! )
Freshman: (Applause to him, of course, in a flattering tone) "This must be the minister of learning! Meet me, junior! ！” (bowing with both hands)
Learning cadre: "Oh, yes, I am the learning department minister who claims to gather the top learning backbone in the whole school! (smug) I wonder what this brother has to do? "
Freshman: "I've come to the Student Union to apply for a position as a cadre. As soon as I came in, I was in your learning department, and I was attracted by your voice, so I'll apply for it in your department first! I don't know what are the conditions for being a cadre? "
Learning cadres: "Dare to stop! Brother is really ambitious. It's impossible to say the conditions, but we need some basic things. " (Shen looks at it from the front to the back)
Freshman: "What is it?" (looking curious, looking at her hand)
Learning cadre: "(facing the audience) For example, my academic performance should be ranked in the top ten in the whole school. In fact, I am the first in the whole grade, so I will relax my requirements for you. This is the most important thing; (Blowing my fingernails) And then, if I want to know a musical instrument, such as piano or flute, I know three musical instruments! (turning to the freshman, watching him still, and turning to the audience) So I relaxed my requirements for you; Of course, I also have the same artistic appreciation ability (the freshmen immediately vomited when they heard this and ran off the stage). There is no need to be so poetic as me, but they should have the same hobbies as me. And finally ... Huh? Where are people? "
(Before he finished, the freshman had disappeared)
Cadre: "Why are all the students so impatient now? Forget it. (Reciting tone) Even if I am the only one in the Ministry, I can hold up a sky! I am so poetic! ! ! HOHOHO！ So bright a gleam on the foot of my bed, could there have been a frost already? ... "(reads aloud and walks off the stage)
Freshman:" (runs up to face the audience) Wow! I didn't expect there to be such a narcissist in the learning department. If I am elected, it will be miserable! Go to another department. Huh? The student union has a girls' department? I don't know if this department is closely related to MM? " (A rather lewd expression appears)
Female cadre: (Seeing someone outside the door, she came out to ask) "What can this classmate do for you?" I am the Minister of Female Student Affairs of the Student Union. "
Freshman: "(whispering) Wow! The girls' department really hides beautiful women. Ah, elder sister, I'm here to apply for the position of student union cadre. "
Female cadre: "Oh, welcome, which department do you want to apply for?"
Freshman: "This ... Hey! Just your girls' department! "
female cadres: (facing the audience) "huh? But our girls' department has never received male cadres. Because a lot of work in our department is carried out with female students as the core, in order to make girls have a better learning and living environment, you are a boy ... "
Freshman (crazy, suddenly want to open):" Elder sister, this is not good! There was Shang Yang's political reform in ancient times, and now the United States has attacked Iraq. There are exceptions to everything and everything seeks innovation. I always care about girls in every possible way. Girls' problems are my problems, and girls' worries are my worries, big sister! For the happiness of hundreds of girls in our school, please let me join the Women's Department ..... "(Kneel on one knee, be decisive)
Female cadre:" ... OK, OK, I'll take YOU, and our department will make an exception and accept you as a male cadre. Then you can solve an urgent girl problem with me now ... "
Freshman:" Oh? What's the problem? "
Female cadres: "Alas, although we girls usually love to talk and laugh, (there are pictures of two girls joking at the table), we sometimes have some minor conflicts. That's why the two girls in Grade Two are quarreling now because of a trivial matter ..." (Don't make a sound when you start quarreling, but be fierce, it happens suddenly)
Freshman: "Alas, two girls in Grade Two are quarreling now ..." I'm going to take care of it ... "(I just wanted to leave, but I was pulled back)
Female cadre:" Wait ... You don't know, our girls' problems are small and big, and if you don't handle them well, they may ... "
Freshmen (scared):" What will happen ... " Hook your nose (cover your nose) and tear your clothes ... "(At this time, two people at the table, the female cadres say what they do and make jokes)
Freshman:" (hands cover the chest) Wow! Indecent assault! ！”
Female cadre: "Are you scared?"
Freshman: "Ah ... no, no ... This dress of mine belongs to Metersbonwe Bang Wei. Is this problem not suitable for a boy like me? Let's leave it to you girls to solve it yourself! I'll go first ... "
Female cadre:" Hey! Don't go! We girls need you ..... "(chasing the freshmen off the stage and coming back when they are about to reach the stage, I said to the audience," Hey, let me solve the girl problem myself! " Then he went over and said a few words to the two girls, and then the three of them stepped down together.
Freshman: (Running on the stage again) "These girls are really troublesome! Forget it, then go to other departments. "
Lao Cadre: (appears from the other side) "Alas ..."
Freshman: "Huh? Why is this big brother sighing? Is it also for girls? "
Lao cadre: "Oh! No, no, I'm the Minister of Labor and Health. (To the audience) It has always been our bounden duty to make everyone live in an elegant campus, study in a bright and clean classroom and rest in a tidy dormitory. (I haven't recovered for a long time, and then I brush it at the freshmen.) Excuse me, are you ... "
Freshman:" (Take a step back) I've heard a lot about the Ministry of Labor and Health for a long time, and my younger brother is here today for the post of cadre of the Ministry of Labor and Health ... "
Lao cadre:" Good! You come with me at once! " (Pull up the freshman and talk while walking)
Freshman: "Go? Where to go? "
Lao cadre: "canteen!"
Freshman: "(excited) canteen! (Going forward for a while and whispering to the audience) Oh, the Ministry of Labor and Health is the Ministry of Labor and Health! Talk about everything at the dinner table! What a style! (Stopping to hold the hand of Lao cadre) Big Brother! I'm with you ... But? It seems that it's not time for dinner yet. How about later? "
minister Lao: "alas, there is no place to eat! We are going to reflect our opinions on the canteen for the students. "
Freshman: "What's your opinion?"
minister Lao: "you are a new student, you may not have noticed. I ask you, when you go to the canteen to cook, did you find that when the waiter scratched your rice or vegetables, your hands were always shaking like this ... "
Freshman:" (pondered for a while) Well ... it seems that this is the case. "
Minister Lao: "That's right. Every time she shakes like that, she loses ... one or two pieces of meat." (Counting the meat that fell, it is very distressing) (Sweat! ! ! ! ! ! ! )
freshman: "(whatever)? Isn't it just one or two pieces of meat? "
minister Lao: "classmate! (Seriously) You don't understand this! Each of us lacks one or two pieces of meat, and thousands of our students add up to a fat pig! " (makes a gesture of holding a pig)
Freshman: "Ah! ! ! Sorry, I'm not good at bargaining. You'd better go by yourself ... "
Minister Lao:" Hey! Why don't you go? Classmate ..... "(chasing down the stage)
Freshman:" (Sweat! ! ! ! ! Once again, I went on stage to face the audience. How many times has this been! ! ! ) The Ministry of Labor and Health used to be a bunch of cheapskates! It doesn't matter if this department doesn't advance. Huh? These two men in front are extraordinary in spirit, so they must have some connections! (Running up and blocking the front) These two heroes, I will meet you. "
minister of health: "oh, I'm the minister of health care, and he's my assistant. It seems that you are a new student, right? Our security department is the security department of the cooperative college to do a good job in the public security work of the school. Do you need any help? "
Freshman: "No, no, I, I want to apply for a job as a cadre in the medical and health care department ..."
(The telephone rang suddenly, and the assistant picked it up and handed it to the minister and said, "Minister, it's for you!" )
minister zhi: "oh, wait a minute, I'll take a call. Hello? Yes, this is the medical department. What's the matter? (Freshman is curious and sneaks up to listen to the content) What? There are two drug dealers in our city? Nine deaths and one injury have been caused on the way! (The new student looks surprised) What? Probably hiding in our school! ! (Freshman's expression is stiff) Ok, please inform other departments, I ... Oh, I just recruited a new cadre here, and I'll call him right away! (Freshmen run away in panic) Wait a minute. Hey, how come people have disappeared ... "
Freshman:" (Super sweaty! ! ! ! ! ! ! Run up again, be angry! That was close! I didn't expect to be in danger of joining the medical department ... (seeing a boy walk into the student union) classmate! Classmate! Do you want to apply for a student union cadre, just like me? I advise you not to go! The student union is full of weirdos, either bitchy or stingy, plus a narcissist! By the way, life is in danger! ! Listen to me, don't go! Don't go! " (At this moment, the four ministers took turns to go to the stage to greet the chairman, and then glared at the new students and stepped down, hiding in the side to eavesdrop. The new students bent down without hearing the chairman once until they supported the ground with one hand.)
The new students: "Ah Lord ... Chairman"
Chairman: (The chairman helped him up) "Well, hello, classmate, I forgot to introduce myself to you. I am the chairman of the student union in this field. What you said just now is absolutely right. What our student union cadres do is really some hard work, but as long as they can serve the students and help them, no matter how hard or tired they are, we will do it! (Four people hiding aside ran out to applaud, and then ran down with the chairman's sentence "I'm not finished yet".) If you are just addicted to official duties and are afraid of hard work, I advise you not to join the student union. "
Freshman: "... Chairman, you are right. Compared with other cadres just now, (looking at the stands) I realized my selfishness and insignificance. I will definitely correct it after I go back and learn from them! (Affectionately) I had n opportunities to join the Student Union, but I didn't cherish it. (Suddenly, a student ran up and handed him a napkin. After the freshman took it, he twisted his nose and said thank you and gave it back to the student. The student looked at the freshman with an expression of disgust.) If God gave me another chance, I would definitely apply for the presidency of the Student Union (pause)! ！”
chairman: "my god!" (Stunned, four people came to the stage to help the chairman, and everyone stopped.)
Crazy Cloud of Examination (Campus Sketch)
Characters: Xiao Ai, Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling, teacher
Scene: classroom
Content:
Xiao Ling is sleeping at her desk.
Xiao Ai has lost a book beside her. Go out.
Xiao Wu came in and sat in Xiao Ai's position.
Xiao Ai (coming in): Oh, man, it's really puzzling. Are you kidding? Can't you see, I've already taken this seat!
Xiao Wu: Ding is Ding, Mao is Mao. Actually, I took it earlier than you!
Xiao Ai: I came early in the morning. Why didn't I see you?
Wu: I took it last night.
Xiao Ai: The last row is my patent! For it, I got up early every day, robbed my head, and my blood flowed. I can't lose this position!
Xiao Wu: The last row is my pride, and the land of geomantic omen is unique here. If you want to drive me away from here (little moxa:-why? ) I advise you to pull it down early!
Xiaoling wakes up: What's the noise?
It's a waste of youth to quarrel in such a sacred classroom early in the morning!
do you know what mistakes you made? Huh?
Xiao Ai: Yes.
Xiao Wu: let's stop arguing.
Xiaoling: The most unforgivable thing for you is that you woke me up!
Xiao Ai is sitting in front of Xiaoling.
Xiao Ai: Last but not least, carry forward the style. Dude, take the exam according to me!
Wu: huh? Today's exam?
Xiaoling: Really? My hands are numb today!
Xiao Ai: Scared?
Xiao Wu: Did you sleep?
Xiaoling: None of them are right! I'm tired of playing grass!
Xiao Ai: Hey, I think I spent most of the night burning the lamp and boiling the oil!
Xiao Wu: Oh, are you studying hard?
Xiaoling: Do you also play grass?
Xiao Ai: Oh, I'm thinking about the exam strategy!
Xiao Wu and Xiao Ling lean over: What do you think?
Xiao Ai laughed wildly: I'm telling you, this move is fantastic!
Xiao Wu and Xiao Ling: Come on!
Xiao Ai: Copy from the book-(picks up the book)
Xiaoling: Go to hell!
Wu: that's a good idea! Why didn't I think of that?
Xiaoling: Come on. You call this a trick?
hey, in order to ease the tense atmosphere, I'll give you a humorous quiz.
Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu ignored her.
Xiaoling: Say, how many steps are there in the exam answer sheet?
Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu leaned in: How many steps?
Xiaoling: There are three steps!
step one: write down your name. (Both nod)
Step 2: Read the topic! (Both nod)
Step 3:-Hand in the roll paper!
Xiao Ai: Hand in a blank paper!
Xiao Wu: What's the problem?
Xiaoling: I'll give you another question. Say, today's exam, who didn't come?
Xiao Ai: Who can't come to the exam today? Xiaoling?
Xiaoling: I'm not here!
Xiao Ai: Look around, Wu?
Xiao Wu: Yes!
Xiao Ai: Ah! I see-little moxa!
Xiao Wu: You came for nothing! It's not the same as coming or not!
Xiaoling: Answer, teacher! It hasn't come yet!
the teacher came in.
three people are startled: coming? Why did you come without saying so? Oh dear! (Noisy)
Teacher: What's your name? Did the toad come in?
three people laugh.
teacher: be serious! What about this exam! No professional ethics at all! What is the most important thing these days? -score! Divide and divide, your lifeblood! (Laughter) Exam, our magic weapon!
Xiao Ai: Copy, copy, our unique skill!
teacher: hand out the roll paper quickly! Don't come early after the exam. What time is it? The exam has started for half an hour! What did you do?
distribute the paper.
teacher: the exam time is * * * two hours! Don't hand in your papers for more than an hour! Students who want to answer the paper, please pick up the pen and don't want to answer the paper.