In marriage, we often emphasize that "the first small family, after everyone", Lao Liang once also said in a TV program: "in the family relationship, all other relationships, all have to give way to the husband and wife relationship."
Sharp certainty in the tone of voice, indicating the importance of the husband and wife relationship in marriage and authority, in fact, the husband and wife relationship can really and the family other emotional relationships that exist completely set aside the relationship? For example, the conflict between in-laws and daughter-in-law will not be swayed at all by the relationship between husband and wife? Men and women who have experienced marriage have the feeling that this ideal state of "zero conflict" marriage, does not exist.
So, we have extended a century-old dilemma, parents and wife fell into the water at the same time, the man should first save who?
When a person who genuinely cares about your feelings, is not going to take their own difficult situation, as a bargaining chip to tie up emotions. If the emotions are difficult to choose, I think the most powerful way to deal with is to remain silent, in this case no matter what we do, will offend and hurt one of the parties.
The integration of the husband-wife relationship into the family directly determines the degree of harmony between loved ones. To put it plainly, the feelings of the two couples are good, there will not be too much conflict in the home, on the contrary, couples do not have the same heart, every day quarrel, then the atmosphere of the family must be full of gunpowder flavor. In retrospect, think about it, can't deal with husband and wife relationship, will be able to deal with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship? Even the lover can not tolerate, will go to tolerate no blood relationship in-laws? Obviously not possible. Husband and wife relationship, should be the highest level of emotional architecture in the marriage, there is no doubt about it.
Man's attitude in a family, very important, the man can not put the husband and wife and mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relations weigh good, decided to family harmony coefficient. As long as the two emotional relationships in the confused man, in the end must be both disobedience to filial piety, but also hurt the wife. We talked about today's case, the man claimed that Ming textbook reply, expressed the man's position in the family marriage and principles, take a look.
Zhang Ming because of the defense of his wife, and parents fell out, the root of the matter, have to start from the word "marriage".
Mother died of cancer three years ago, less than a year of high-profile remarriage of the father, always know filial piety Zhang Ming only reluctantly accept the fact that his father remarried, because in his heart, the parents of 30 years of marriage after the warmth of the time, far more than a year of remembrance. But thinking differently, how can Zhang Ming not understand that his father in his own marriage, the same need for care and attention, this emotional needs, children can never be replaced.
The second year of his father's remarriage, Zhang Ming also got married, and his wife, Dandan, is a kindergarten teacher who knows how to take care of people, and in terms of life, she takes care of the family in every possible way.
Zhang Ming in order to filial piety, the father and stepmother to the city to live together, the father for dealing with the relationship between the family is quite old-fashioned, in order to be able to draw close to the son and his partner between the "mother and child relationship", they live in the marital home shortly after the stepmother took out eighty thousand dollars as a gift to Zhang Ming and his wife Dandan, on the surface! The second is that the mother of the child is a very reasonable person, in fact, the operator behind the scenes are Zhang Ming's father, so the purpose of doing so, is to hope that Zhang Ming and Dandan, from the heart to identify with the stepmother's position in the family.
The pitfalls of marital union and reconstruction are often the most immediate. In other words, the parents remarried behavior, I personally feel that should be reasonable consideration of the children's feelings and opinions, because the future get along and interaction, are required to build on the premise of emotional trust, if there is a lack of communication, or even in the "remarried" this matter, did not reach a unanimous agreement, the conflict between the family will be stretched to the limit.
Of course, the father is still a smart man, at least in front of his son Zhang Ming and daughter-in-law Dandan, he showed the attitude, is based on a certain sincerity and posture. Otherwise, parents really strong remarriage, children and what can be done? Freedom of marriage, who have the right to pursue their own happiness, the father's smooth and pleasing behavior, but also shows his heart to children care and respect.
This is the first time I've ever seen a woman in the world who has been in the same situation as me, and I'm not sure if I've ever seen a woman in the same situation.
Zhang Ming and Dandan is a pair of more open-minded, think far away from the couple, especially after marriage with the baby this matter, Dandan decisively quit his job, resolutely not to bother the in-laws, in her words have the ability to give birth to the ability to support the whole building of the neighbors have praised, Dandan is really a understanding of well-behaved daughter-in-law, at home and outside of the house in order, mother-in-law every day, she is responsible for cooking and washing dishes, the extra time! The company's website is a great place to find out more about the company's services.
Dandan took the kids to see her mother-in-law dance, and what caught her eye was the fact that her mother-in-law danced with a man in the neighborhood, which was fine, after all, it was just a dance partner, and Dandan didn't think much of it. However, those days when her mother-in-law came home to take the phone does not let go, whether it is a meal or a break after the meal, her mother-in-law's cell phone has never been away from the hand, sometimes at 11 o'clock in the middle of the night, her mother-in-law squatted alone in the bathroom whispering whine chatting day, once Dandan really can not look at the eye, go up to the front is a counting down.
"Mom, in the middle of the night you're not sleeping and chatting with who? You are also a person from the past, there are some things I do not say you understand, our family is to face, you should know self-love."
Dandan spoke straight, may be in the tone of voice stabbed to the mother-in-law, the mother-in-law turned around to say these words to the father-in-law to listen to, after all, other people are two, as a daughter-in-law to do so is not meddling in the point? To say is also Zhang Ming to say, the father-in-law rushed into the room of the two Dan Dan that night, directly put harsh words to humiliate daughter-in-law Dan Dan.
"You're a latecomer, and what qualifications do you have to say anything about the elders? If you have no upbringing, go back to your mother's house and ask your parents to teach you how to honor and respect your in-laws."
Zhang Ming's father was confused, in order to make his old partner smooth actually insulted his daughter-in-law Dandan, he simply did not understand the reason why Dandan was making such a fuss, the breath he felt, it was his daughter-in-law who was not used to her mother-in-law, so she purposely picking fights in this family. The truth is not, the mother-in-law every day and male dance partner chatting in the water, what is the harm, I believe it is self-evident, Dandan's original intention is only to hope that the tragedy of the marriage does not happen in this family, but the father-in-law does not appreciate.
The mother-in-law's abnormality, not only Dandan feel, Zhang Ming has also noticed, the father does not understand Dandan even if, but also impolite rushed into the room to humiliate her in public, Zhang Ming because his father remarried the matter of the mind, which completely put him inside the dissatisfaction to the anger, he hardened back to his father.
"Mind your own business first, don't mouth off about others being uneducated, you can be fearless of dignity, but we couples still need to have a face, I respect you, and barely call her a mom, if you don't know how to love yourselves, hurry up and get the hell out of this house for me."
Zhang Ming's strong defense of his wife Dandan's dignity, but also scolded the father to wake up. Because in this family, there is no one more than Zhang Ming hope that his father can be happy and peaceful in old age, if not as a last resort, has always been filial piety, why Zhang Ming out of words? It can only mean one thing, the stepmother stands on the edge of the marriage of the danger, has touched the harmony of this family, once the danger broke out, the most y injured must be Zhang Ming's father.
It must be said that Zhang Ming's attitude and position is particularly clear, this rational view of marriage, is effective in avoiding the occurrence of family conflicts, in the jeopardy of family harmony and marriage bottom line, a man in front of his wife and parents, there is no absolute bias in favor of the choice, it must be to stabilize the family, the extramarital factors killed in the cradle of the principle of the first.
Maybe some people will say, the parents of the marriage, the late generation and what is the qualification to interfere in it? But don't forget, children fulfill filial piety at the same time, absolutely contains the parents in the marriage of the most pertinent interests, this interest, must be related to the emotional gains and losses, the children of course have the obligation and responsibility to collaborate with the parents to the old age of life, to the old age of the marriage management.
No matter how a man chooses between his parents and his wife, he will learn to respect and self-love in order to increase the "chips" that are favored.