Some people say that when a woman reaches middle age, the greatest sorrow is money is not comfortable, even buy a packet of tampons have to reach out to the man to ask for money; some people say that when a woman reaches middle age, the greatest sorrow is no one to manage, no one to love but also no one to feel sorry for; some people say that when a woman reaches middle age, the greatest sorrow is the face of the husband of a sexually active, but hesitant in the end whether to divorce or not.
A thousand people have a thousand Hamlets in their hearts. For Zhang Qian, she thought that the biggest grief of the middle age is not money, not no one to control but to give up on themselves!
Why is self-destruction so sad? It is because she witnessed the fall of a dear friend. At only 40 years old, she chose to say goodbye to the world in a hurry. This dear friend of hers had a very literary name, Yue Ting. Lin Hong "new autumn floating pavilion night set rhyme to urge the word," said: "floating pavilion night moon bottle before full, the ancient trees in the autumn sound of the flute mourn.
When she first met Yue Ting, Zhang Qian thought that this woman was very beautiful. That kind of beauty is not blinding, not to be picked out, see more let a person heart is very serene. At that time, she did not know that these so-called serene feeling, in fact, is due to Yue Ting has a very serious depression. The countless faint pink marks on Yue Ting's arms are all evidence that she once attempted suicide.
Being together for a long time, Zhang Qian accidentally saw Yue Ting open teeth and claws, mood impulsive anxious look, miserable face let people look at the heartache. 40-year-old woman, would have been gradually aging, not to mention the disease tormented by Yue Ting.
Yue Ting's family has no relatives with depression, and gradually understand the process, Zhang Qian know, in fact, the reason why Yue Ting, marriage is the cause, "self-loathing" is the center.
02At the age of 23, Yueting's parents found her a "good man". I heard that in those days, this man's family condition was very good, what others have he can afford to give, what others do not have he can also afford to give. Yue Ting's parents were very happy with this man, and they broke up Yue Ting and the man she was marrying at the time. The day she married, Yue Ting's heart was like ashes, but she grew accustomed to listening to her parents, and did not know how to refute.
The marriage was not a happy one. The first time I saw him, he was an exemplary husband, but afterward he was a wolf in human skin. Alcoholism, domestic violence, cheating, which he has been involved in, but in order to adhere to the image, he blackmailed Yue Ting can not be leaked to outsiders, not only that, but also Yue Ting in front of the people with him to play the appearance of a happy couple.
If the first few years, the moon is still trying to find a way to escape from this home, but was tortured for a long time, nowhere to turn to for help, the moon gradually gave up the defense, began to give up on myself. She also began to cheat, learned to smoke in and out of nightclubs. It's hard to imagine a woman in her thirties in heavy makeup casually rooming with someone.
Eventually, I was tortured to the point where I was divorced and kicked out by the family, and I was left penniless. And that's when she learned that she had AIDS and, at the same time, depression. She began to try in my mind, can consider the time, I live into indifference to the world. The two of them met at the same time, but the two of them were not able to find each other, and the two of them were not able to find each other.
03Zhang Qian once went with Yue Ting to her ex-husband's door, secretly saw the child. The first time I saw this, I was able to see a lot of people who had been in the same place for a long time, and I was able to see a lot of people who had been in the same place for a long time.
In the month Ting chose to light life before the 40th birthday day, the month Ting said to Zhang Qian, this life is the most regret is not strong, did not live a person should have the appearance of the original should be struggling against the time but chose to give up, until the end of the head back to realize that self-reliance and self-reliance is how much people aspire to.
About Zhang Qian, who saw a person in front of himself, is also the first time to feel self-abandonment to a woman how terrible.
Zhang Qian is a single-parent family out of the child, from her memory, parents of the marriage is not happy, two days a small noise, three days a big noise is the norm. The father is the main labor force, earn money to support the family holds the family's financial power, due to the pressure of life, he is often drunk, often scolded Zhang Qian and his wife.
In Zhang Qian's memory, even to buy a packet of salt with his father to reach out to his mother, the only order is to let his father scolding dare not fight back. Until Zhang Qian went to junior high school, the mother and father mentioned divorce, take the clothes with Zhang Qian head without looking back.
Following the mother out of Zhang Qian is very lucky. Certainly do not know why the mother suddenly had so much courage, but still glad not to have to look at the father's face. The next life is very difficult, Zhang Qian know can not help his mother what, looking at the mother of the day to play a number of jobs, she only need to study hard, do not let his mother worry. Whenever you get good results, the mother's face smile is from the heart.
04Later Zhang Qian graduated and worked with her mother's life better, her mother did not have to work, the biggest interest is to dress up myself, and sisters to go to the square dance. The company has asked her mother how she could find the courage to get a divorce, and how she could be brave enough to get out of the "cozy circle" in a penniless situation.
The mother said that she had wanted to give up on herself, but the older she got, the more she felt sorry for her. She was able to give up her own life, how can I let my children also live in peace and happiness. Once she saw Zhang Qian staring at the bananas in the hands of her classmates, obviously greedy, mouth, but said she did not like to eat bananas when the heart is sour.
Lived almost half a lifetime, even my daughter wants to eat a banana can not meet, how can be a qualified mother. She is still young, although the age to run to 40, but now not valor, now do not make a resolution, later will certainly regret. This is the only way to drum up the courage to take Zhang Qian out to live alone.
A woman's self-abandonment can destroy her own life, destroy the child's life. And a woman's self-reliance, but can save myself and the child's doctor. Zhang Qian often think, if the first month Ting can be a little stronger, did not choose to give up, is not always will have a different life.
People in middle age, can not have money, but can not go to think of ways to make money; can divorce, but not due to divorce on life and marriage to lose hope. People live is a mouthful, give up the struggle, really defeated by life, swallowed, into the boundless darkness.
Of course, not only people to middle age, in fact, every age can not allow us to give up on ourselves. Since the existence of this world, there is a reason for our existence, valiant life, valiantly face all the hardships and injustice, is the way to survive!