The best yardstick is the farther away the better, unless forced to, or better not to come and go!
You won't even realize that when you get married, you're not dealing with two people, but two families. And how these two families relate to each other will profoundly affect your relationship as a couple!
Taking my own family's situation as an example,
My father was out in the world when he was young, and he is a person who is more outgoing and eager to make friends, it is no exaggeration to say that if you give him half a day's time, he will be able to know a lot of new friends, and also be able to continue to socialize with the kind of people, which is not as good as I am ashamed of!
Then again, the old man, for his past I am not familiar with, just from the present point of view, he is a person is a very bad and people interact with people, his greatest pleasure is to lie in bed watching TV, not open out, if something at home, such as the child's birthday, these treats, he will be excused to help the fire end dishes, try to avoid the table!
So these two people in the process of getting along, it is found that many of the views of each other do not agree, and each other can not convince each other.
Give me an example with kids.
Nowadays, after giving birth to a child, the average woman likes to stay in her mother's house when she is out of the month, and so does my wife, who spends most of her time in her mother's house after giving birth to a child. Because of the old man's character, he himself does not like to go out, likewise do not like the family to go out, summer, every night at six or seven o'clock, the sky is not yet dark, he asked the family to go upstairs to sleep, can not sleep to lie down, anyway, can not go out. In winter it's even earlier, closing at 5 o'clock!
Winter is not a problem, no one wants to go out at night, but in the summer, the home is hot, the child is always in the air conditioning room is not good, the night is not dark when you can take to the square above the walk, ride the cool, see people dancing in the square is not also good, the old man is not allowed, said the night to go out for what?
When I came home from the field, my wife would come back, and every night after dinner, my father called on us to go to the square to take a walk, he likes to hold his grandson with a walk, but also often give his grandson to buy a toy to play with him to play the game and so on.
Then when I left home, my wife would stay at my in-laws' house again. Whenever my wife talks about my father taking the kids out, my old man gets upset and I don't know why he gets upset.
Because we are in-laws, we always have to eat together, chat and so on, every time we talk about bringing up children, my father said that children should be often brought out to go around, play, can not be locked up all day long;
Old father-in-law said, children do not always run outside, not safe! The two old men are often at each other's throats because they don't see eye to eye.
There is also the problem of cooking, our family since childhood father educated my brother and I, eating absolutely no waste, eat the finished rice bowl can not have a grain of rice, the table can not have a grain of rice, must be picked up and eat.
And the wife's family, leftovers are a common thing, eat not finished left in the bowl, especially my great-uncle brother, simply waste king, to give two small examples!
He ate salted duck eggs often only eat the yolk, do not eat the egg white, the rest of the egg white he does not care, often are mother-in-law to eat.
He ate steamed bread is also, such as eating has been 9 points full, but also a little bit, he can pick up a complete steamed bread to bite two bites, the rest will not eat still on the table! I'm not sure if you can stand this kind of behavior, but I'm sure you'll be able to handle it.
Then again to the mother-in-law, may be her family love to waste, every time you cook cooking, are a big bowl, a big pot of cooking, cooking especially much, and then eat the rest has been hot to eat. I told her it was bad for her stomach, but she wouldn't listen! The list goes on and on.
Maybe you think that these are all trivial matters, but there is no such thing as a big deal between the two families, it's all about the little things.
The character of the two families is really completely different, I really think that the two parents to less to communicate with the good, after all, the two families originally did not know, just because of the combination of the children to know, so it is better to keep the distance, distance produces beauty!