Women in marriage, not only need to face the "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law" between the conflict, but also to deal with the "immediate family" between the relationship between the woman and her immediate family relationship is good or bad, often on the marriage to bring a more profound impact, after all, women! If you have a problem with your in-laws' "immediate family", then your in-laws will be on the same page and the woman won't be able to take advantage of it.
Although this is somewhat one-sided, Linjun observes that this is the case in most families, especially when a woman has just gotten married and hasn't had a good relationship with her in-laws, and it's easier to find this phenomenon. The first thing you need to do is to get rid of all the stuff that you've been doing, and then you'll be able to get rid of it.
This is not unusual, and the woman does not have to be angry, everyone is like this, and get along with decades of relatives compared to the idea of the woman just married to the natural will not be valued, this is also a phenomenon has not been fully integrated into the in-laws, although married, in-laws living, but in the eyes of the in-laws of the immediate family, there will still be a gap between the woman.
Only after getting acquainted with each other, then the woman will slowly integrate into the new family, will gradually stand firm, but before that, the woman will inevitably have some friction with the in-laws of the immediate family, but in the friction that occurs after the in-laws will naturally stand on the side of their own immediate family, despite the fact that the woman has a reason to be, but will be forced to choose to endure in silence, but to endure and not to represent the end of a thing. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots, and you'll be able to get them to fit in the back of your head.
Many people are curious about why some women are married for a long time, still and in-laws immediate family relations between the cold, in recent years of contact, surely will be too familiar to be familiar, in fact, the answer is very simple, the phenomenon occurs, in fact, in the woman just got married when the root of the trouble is buried, so that after a few years, as a party to the woman is still not able to let go of it.
"My husband has a sister, that is, my sister-in-law, I and my sister-in-law's relationship how to say it, it is the old dead kind of, perhaps too long, the sister-in-law have forgotten what had done to me, but I remember, perhaps women hold grudges this sentence is right, in the sister-in-law to get married when I need to help, and she did not think that has always been good! talkative why I chose to flip out in public."
This is a private letter from reader Xiaolan to Linjun, Xiaolan has always had a problem in her heart, she does not know whether the way she treated her sister-in-law was right or wrong, Xiaolan also does not want to know the result, for Xiaolan, in front of her mother-in-law's face of the sister-in-law flip-flopping is the most relief she has ever done, flip-flopping after Xiaolan's heart was finally untied, although this offended her in-laws, Xiaolan thinks it is very worthwhile.
Small blue after the marriage, and many women, like, will put their own energy to deal with the "in-laws" on the relationship between, then small blue feel, want to live in the in-laws of a stable life, must first pass their mother-in-law this pass, in the effort to maintain a relationship with the mother-in-law at the same time, but forgot and the sister-in-law to play a good relationship, at the time! The company's main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers, so that they can enjoy the best of both worlds," he said.
Small blue in the mother-in-law's home is very diligent, take the initiative to take over the household chores, grocery shopping and cooking is also a person to bear, life and mother-in-law's differences in opinion, small blue will take the initiative to give in, according to the mother-in-law, "mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship" in the small blue under the management of the mother-daughter, small blue mother-in-law no matter what to do will be called up on the blue, the mother-in-law will do anything, the mother-in-law will not be able to do anything, the mother-in-law will be called up on the small blue. When the "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law" feelings between the rapid warming at the same time, the blue sister-in-law undoubtedly by the "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law" cold.
Small blue sister belongs to the "middle-aged women", so naturally pampered, not only from the parents of the wholehearted love, small blue husband also on their own sister care, see there is a little bit of failure, which in turn led to the small blue sister into arrogant and domineering, who do not put in the eyes of the habit.
Small blue and "mother-in-law" feelings warming at the same time, but was small sister-in-law on the hate, in the small blue sister-in-law, small blue undoubtedly deprived of their own love, this love is not only from the mother, but also come to their own brother, and the small blue has no knowledge of this, only to their own sister as a younger sister to look at, but not excessively enthusiastic, and not cold. And she is not cold.
For Xiaolan's sister-in-law, Xiaolan's joyful and peaceful relationship with her mother every day undoubtedly made her feel a sense of crisis, and she was afraid that her brother and her parents would not like her and start to dislike her, which was an unacceptable phenomenon for her, and she fantasized that in the future, she would be coldly rejected in the family and sidelined, which made her resentment towards her sister-in-law deeper and deeper.
Small aunt did not dare to embarrass her sister-in-law openly, so she had to start from other aspects, in thinking of ways, suddenly saw his favorite flowers on the table, could not help but plan from the heart, a plan to be implemented, the small aunt to take the hammer in the flower pots on the edge of the knocked open a crack, at that time, Xiaolan is at home to wash dishes, the small aunt to Xiaolan, said: "Sister-in-law, I am not convenient, you take my pot of flowers, I'll take the pot of flowers to the side, and then I'll take the pot to the table, I will not be able to do it. convenient, you put this flower pot of mine outside in the sun."
Small blue at that time to his sister-in-law's feeling is quite good, although the people brutal point, but ultimately also their own sister, heard the sister-in-law to help, hurriedly wipe their hands, from the kitchen walked to the sister-in-law's bedroom, small blue to see the sister-in-law want to move that pot of flowers, not only from the heart of the joy, she knows, that pot of flowers is the sister-in-law's favorite flowers, easily do not let anyone else touch, and the sister-in-law let her move that pot of flowers, obviously the heart of the very recognized. Pots of flowers, obviously the heart is very recognized their own, and then joyfully picked up the pot of flowers ready to go out, only to hear "pop" sound, the pot of flowers from the small blue hand fell to the ground.
"What are you doing? You crazy woman, do not know to be careful ah, do you know that pot of flowers is I spent a lot of money to buy, do you know how valuable, you see me upset also do not have to deliberately take my flowers out of anger ah, there are things to come at me, there is no need to hide, are you not to see me upset, want to wrestle my flowers to drive me away." After her sister-in-law finished speaking, Xiaolan was about to explain, "slap" sound, Xiaolan froze, she did not expect her sister-in-law slapped her, when Xiaolan was frothing, her sister-in-law yelled at her, "Get out, get out of our house, you are not welcome in our house."
Small blue heart even if there are ten thousand grievances also have no way to say, had to run out of the small aunt's room to sit on the sofa and cried, although she was very sorry for their own miss break the small aunt's flowers, but this is not the small aunt hands to beat people's excuse for small blue, for the small blue, the flowers are gone, you can buy again, but the feelings of the rift, but also can make up for it? Obviously, it can't.
Small blue husband went home, cold see small blue in that cry, heart a shock rush over to ask small blue what happened, when small blue raised his head, small blue husband saw the small blue face has not been eliminated slap marks, can not help but anger from the heart, yelled: "This is who hit, and I came out." "I hit, what's wrong, you don't ask her what she did." Little Auntie finished her sentence without forgetting to glare at Blu.
Small blue husband heard that it was his sister hit, suddenly at a loss for words, when he knew that the small blue missed and broke his sister's favorite flowers, can not help but heartily sighed, said to the small blue, "you are not careful, that is my sister's favorite flowers ah." Xiao Lan did not expect her husband to have such an attitude, at that time, although Xiao Lan did not have much emotion on her face, her husband's words made her heart start to twitch.
How to deal with this matter Xiaolan's husband did not have too good method, had to call his mother, Xiaolan mother-in-law heard at home such a thing happened, can not help but the heart of the big rush, put aside the favorite square dance not jump back home in a hurry, then Xiaolan thought: "or their own mother-in-law to their own good, rushed home to do justice to themselves. " Can not help but begin to long for the upcoming return of the mother-in-law.
Small blue mother-in-law returned home, indiscriminate on the small blue a scolding: "I say small blue ah, you can not be a little more careful, so big people, the hand is not a lightweight, that is my daughter took a lot of effort to buy flowers, and now want to buy can not be bought, you let me say what you good." Turning to his daughter, he said, "My daughter, that flowerpot didn't hurt you, your sister-in-law is a careless, don't be angry." After comforting her daughter, she pointed her finger at Xiaolan: "What are you waiting for, why don't you come over and apologize to your sister-in-law, you're so clumsy."
Then Xiaolan heart is shocked, she did not think that in addition to her husband did not speak to their own, and their best relationship with their mother-in-law also blame themselves, Xiaolan could not help but think: "She is ah, you do not relate to why she would be because of a pot of flowers and hit people?" But then blue mother-in-law and her husband are surrounded by small blue sister-in-law side of the hush-hush, on the small blue do not care, when the small blue mother-in-law and urged small blue to apologize, small blue heart would like to walk away, but do not want to ruin the happy family because of this matter, had to step by step to move to the front of their own sister-in-law, uttered that the heart is very reluctant to say the words: "I'm sorry. "
Simple three words, as if the small blue body of the strength of a draw into, can not help but make her a paralyzed on the ground, and the small blue sister-in-law on the small blue apology only responded to a "cut" word, and then walked to their own rooms to start cleaning broken flower pots, but before leaving, the small sister-in-law in the eyes of the color of the playful on the The teasing look in her sister-in-law's eyes, before she left, was like a bell ringing, waking up Blu's blank brain.
Life goes on, the days are slowly passing, this small storm in the family intentionally or unintentionally forgotten not to be mentioned, but for the parties involved in the small blue, small aunt slapped their own slap but has always been in the heart of the mind, whenever I think of this incident, small blue feel their cheeks on the hot pain, although the small blue aunt has forgotten that they have done such a thing, but this memory is became clearer and clearer in Blu's mind as time shifted.
Men when married, women when married, small blue sister-in-law is inevitably to be married, but small blue sister-in-law in pursuit of the most beautiful love in mind, chose a man in addition to the value of no other advantage as their lifelong partner, sister-in-law know that their boyfriends can not afford to buy the wedding home, the big package to buy a house in their own body, small blue's parents-in-law, despite the heart angry, but in order to let their daughters life The first is to make sure that you have a good understanding of the situation, but in order to make your daughter's life better, you have to eat this dumb loss, the hands of the in-laws of the small blue and not too much money, so the idea hit the small blue two children.
Small blue mother-in-law asked his son, the son said "no problem", but the savings of the two families are in the hands of the small blue hold, want to come up with the money, but also need to go to ask the small blue to ask, from this, the small blue mother-in-law with their own children to find the small blue to talk about this matter: "small blue ah, mother-in-law There is no treat you right, in the home also did not make things difficult for you is not it, you see ah, your sister-in-law to buy a house, do not let you directly help to buy, only hope that you can buy this money as a gift money to your sister-in-law." Rubbing his hands, the tone of voice said: "daughter-in-law, your sister-in-law married, with 100,000 bride price how." "What about the slap she slapped me with." After hearing this, Xiao Lan could not help but let this sentence out of his heart in a hurry.
Small aunt and mother-in-law to Xiaolan's this sentence feel puzzled, asked: "What a slap, who hit you." Xiao Lan returned: "Yo, this is only how long ah, just slap my face at the beginning of the thing to forget, I now look back all feel my face still hurt it, want me to borrow money ah, also can, let your daughter now give me an apology, this money I will borrow, do not apologize for this matter is exempted from negotiation." Said both hands a hug, just waiting for the little aunt to give her apology, the little aunt was originally still wondering, but by the little blue a point, then knew what is the matter, face a red, can not help but annoyed up.
"It is not that thing, how do you still remember, your belly can be really small, are a family, what things do not have a room for discussion ah, as for now still remember it, apologize don't want to, this is obviously you first do wrong, and do not blame me for you to do that kind of thing." After the little aunt finished speaking, Blu said, "Oh? Is that so? Are things really the way you say they are? Still, if you don't apologize, I won't borrow this money." At that time, Xiao Lan's sister-in-law became anxious and yelled at Xiao Lan, "If you don't want to borrow it, I don't care about it." Said directly slammed the door and walked out.
"Xiaolan ah, when that thing is not so now still remember, borrowing money your husband also promised to forget the first thing, to start over is not good." Xiaolan mother-in-law just finished, a turn of phrase and said: "When that thing is you first do wrong, do not blame my daughter, you want to spread the anger towards me, the money lent to my daughter on it." "Still the same sentence, I won't lend money without apologizing." Xiaolan finished, pull open the door also walked out, until later, although Xiaolan's husband also blame Xiaolan belly small, but Xiaolan still insisted on the idea in their hearts.
Small blue do not know what they do in fact is right or wrong, only know that the suppression in their own hearts of the stock of sulkiness ruthlessly vented out, for the small blue, no matter what they do in the end, as long as the heart is comfortable on the good, and the small blue insisted that the slap in the first place to get a real bit of a loss, the small blue aunty in the end to respect their own sister-in-law, the slap came really no The small blue in the life after, still adhere to their own principles, sister-in-law not face to face to apologize, then no matter what things are not necessary to talk about, small blue think their own principles are correct.
Small blue and small aunt things Linjun not good comment, but it is clear that small blue has been the aggrieved party, and small blue in the aggrieved after insisting that she continue to live the driving force of what we can not speculate, but it is clear that the small blue in the life after this storm, the heart must be very difficult, if the stand on the side of the blue to put himself in the shoes of the thought, the small blue is actually the right thing to do.
From this we can know, women in the married life not only to face how to deal with the "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law" between the relationship between the problem, but also to face how to regulate the relationship between the immediate family members of the problem, only in the married life of the various aspects of the thinking, the various aspects of the look, in order to look at the fairness of the relatives and relatives of the relationship between the eyes, then Blu encountered a storm will be very difficult. Then Xiaolan encountered the storm will not exist between you and me in the family life, in order to make the family conflicts will not easily appear, so that the family and marriage to become that model envisioned in our hearts.