Author:Cardamom
One
The Qinghai Lake at that time was lonely and quiet. The peaks around the lake are pure snow all year round.In August, a large swath of rapeseed blossoms open quietly around the lake.He followed his father and grazed between the gold of the rapeseed blossoms, the pure white of the snow-covered mountains, and the blue of the lake.
The lake is the only place in the world where you can find a lot of people who want to be a part of something.
Zazhi often lie in the large rapeseed flowers to see the white clouds in the sky like flocks of sheep, leisurely gathering and dispersing.
There is no train roar, no crowd noise, not even a wide road. Fields, grasslands, deserts, lakes, snowy mountains, white clouds, a small Tibetan boy, the world is clean and transparent, like his small heart.
In the summer when he was six years old, his father picked up that little life. A little girl in swaddling clothes, round little face, powder and jade. It was her clear cry that kept his father's footsteps as he drove the sheep.
Zazhi was overjoyed at the appearance of this little life, he said, "Abba, call her Drolma?
Father shook his head, you see, she is a Han Chinese girl, she was born different from us. Father's dark face, bloomed a warm smile, may be a little fairy swimming out of the lake. Let's call her Naked Carp.
Naked carp, the name of a fish abundant in Qinghai Lake. He had seen this kind of fish with transparent body and pure luster in the lake, they are very beautiful, almost no scales, is a kind of living creature that people living on the shores of Qinghai Lake have been in awe of for many years, and never fished. He heard his father say that the naked carp grows very, very slowly, an inch a year, and it takes many years to grow up.
What a lovely little creature.
From then on, her name was Naked Carp. They lived in the same home.
For many years, home was a warm tent, and from the time Zahi was six years old, there was a little dainty girl in the tent, fed by her father with clean white goat's milk, who always slept, and when she was hungry, she would cry, with a clear cry. When she was full, she would smile again.
Zazi would keep staring at her, calling her softly, Naked Carp, Naked Carp.
She was beautiful. Tiny Zazie, in her heart, loved the beauty of a foreign girl. The white skin, the transparent eyes.
Two
When he was seven years old, Zazi read elementary school, learning Chinese knowledge in school, no longer have time to follow his father every day to go herding, but the heart is still wild, the people in school, but the heart is fluffy and crazy in the wild.
Naked carp, will walk, will talk. She still has a pink face, and her father taught her to call her father and brother in Chinese.
But the naked carp does not call him brother, call him, Zazhi. Zazhi.
Zazhi then smiled happily. Two small flowers bloomed on his dark face. Naked Carp also laughed happily.
He didn't call her sister either, but called her Naked Carp. In her little heart, there was an indescribably strange and sweet yearning.
Until one day, naked carp pink face has two small groups of plateau red he is familiar with, hair is also getting longer and longer, the neighbor's mother to help her into a twisted braid, give her to do the Tibetan robe.
Naked carp, more and more like a Tibetan girl. They are, more and more, like children of the same tribe.
Naked Carp liked the way she looked after the change, her tiny body buried in the Tibetan robe, infinitely joyful.
And all Tibetan little girls are no longer different.
Zazhi began to think of her as a younger sister, feeling close to her, but less mysterious than he had always longed for.
Zazhi, began to call Naked Carp sister.
Naked Carp, still called him Zazi.
Three
Abba died when Zazi was 19. He had the kind of disease that can not be cured. 19 years old, Zazi also just finished high school and got into the University of Nationalities in Xining, but did not go to study. Zazi did not love to read. He put on the Tibetan robe that his father had worn before he died, but he didn't go herding like his father. A wide asphalt road had long been built along the Qinghai Lake, and in the warmer seasons he often saw many people coming along that wide road to the plateau, to the Qinghai Lake - he sold his family's herd of fat sheep and bought a small boat.
Boating on the lake was Zahi's childhood dream.
Naked Carp was still young, 13 years old, finishing elementary school. In the warm summer and early fall, Zahi used the boat to take passengers on tours of Qinghai Lake, earning money to pay for Naked Carp's schooling. He knew he was the older brother and he had to do that.
Naked Carp, somewhat like him, had no love for reading, and would dart to him every day after school. Zahi, she called from afar, we go to Bird Island.
The little naked carp, then quickly on his boat. He then started the boat and carried her leisurely to Bird Island in the center of the lake.
In May, the birds fly on Bird Island. The boat is moored to the shore, Zahi will casually find a piece of grass to lie down, look at the distant peaks of the seasonal snow-capped, look at the sky drifting flocks of clouds. The sun was shining so brightly that he slowly closed his eyes.
And Naked Carp, Zahi believed more and more in what his father had said, was the little fairy that ran out of the lake, a lovely naked carp transformed. She would talk to the birds in the spring and dive into the lake to swim with the fish in the summer. Zazie remembers that Naked Carp loved the water at a very young age and cried out with joy the first time she came into the lake.
He didn't teach her much, and she seemed born to swim. When she entered the lake, she refused to come up, she always wanted to have enough fun.
So Zahi always said, "Naked carp," and Abba said, "You're a naked carp.
I'm a naked carp, I'm a little fairy. Girls past the age of 10 already know how to pamper Zazi. Naked Carp had known about her birth since she was a little girl, and they didn't hide anything from her. They don't feel the need to hide some things.
Knowing, Naked Carp was still happy, never minded, just kept calling him Zazi, Zazi. Liked to look up at him with admiration in her eyes, like gazing at a young hero.
Four
The beautiful Han Chinese woman appeared alone one morning.
That morning in early spring, Naked Carp was still asleep, a young girl of 18, still sleepy. Zazi got up early and walked out of the house - there was no longer the tent that had been there in the first place, Zazi and Naked Carp, not far from the lake, along with many of their people, had a home called a house. The house, tall, with a courtyard, was spacious.
In front of the house is the wide highway, the highway, cars.
Dawn, Zahi went to the lake. The lake in early spring, the pure green color of the snowy mountains, cold and silent. It was in that cold silence that he saw her, a woman in a long dress, her hair long and loose, her back to him, standing by the lake.
With her back turned, he still felt her youthful sadness clearly.
Zazhi's footsteps startled Binglan, and she turned back to look at the tall, handsome Tibetan man in front of her. Yes, Zhaxi had grown up in the winds of the plateau and grown into a tall, handsome young man.
The wind blew Binglan's long hair, and her long skirt, lake-like ripples, white skin, clear eyes, a beautiful Han Chinese woman, breathing, through the inexplicable sadness that Zazi felt, like a lost fairy.
Fairy? When the naked carp grew into a beautiful Tibetan girl, Zahi's heart, it gradually lost the fairy's mold.
Now the fairy came. In front of his eyes, full of sorrow.
He wanted to say something, but opened his mouth, but there was no sound. He was afraid that if he made a sound, she would disappear. Even as he stood there, he was afraid to move his feet.
It was she who opened her mouth first, Who are you?
It was his turn to ask. So, baffled, he too asked, Who are you?
She then stopped talking and slightly lowered her head, Ice Blue. She said my name is Ice Blue.
My name is Zahi. He smiled happily, Ice Blue, what a beautiful name. Like the waters of Qinghai Lake. But where did she come from? How did she come on such a cold morning, and did she have wings?
Zazhi's heart, entangled in many questions, could not open.
Heard the woman called Ice Blue sigh softly and call his name, Zazi, Zazi. She said, Zazi, can you find a way to take me to the lake?
She begged lowly.
Zazhi's heart, then, gently soared. He suddenly went over and took her hand, Go, I will take you to my boat.
Five
Zazhi's boat, small, clean and tidy, he led her up, gave her a life jacket, skillfully started the machine. Hold on to it, he said.
The woman looked at him incredulously? Your boat?
My boat, it's fast, like flying. Zazie said, the boat was already flying forward lightly across the lake.
Ice Blue suddenly let out a whine that he didn't know if it was pleasure or surprise, like an unknown bird chirping.
Carrying Ice Blue, Zazie felt the lightness and joy of flying for the first time.
The boat weaved across the lake, the wind blowing her hair and billowing her long skirt, without cold, without strangeness, without purpose or direction. The wide, deep, ice-blue lake, on that morning with its thin, cold mist, belonged only to them.
At some point, Ice Blue stood up and put her arm around Zazie's body. She stood behind him, wrapping her arms around him that way, around the warmth that emanated from his young, fit body.
Ice Blue's hair, in the wind messy flying, there are a few strands, entangled, floating to Zazi's face, messed up his vision, messed up his mind. Zhaxi remembered this sentence: today what day? I have to be in the same boat with the fairy.
At that moment, the sunlight leapt up from behind the snowy mountains and enveloped them in gold. That instant, Zazi was attacked by love.
After a long time, the boat quietly docked. The lake calmed down.
Slowly, Zahi will still be entangled in front of the body of soft cold fingers held in the palm. But he did not see that not far from the shore of the lake, the 18-year-old naked carp was standing there barefoot.
Standing for a long time, until the soft heart, and feet together gradually cold, unconscious.
Six
Ice Blue left Qinghai Lake on a sunny, warm afternoon, in a red bus.
Zazhi. You saved me. Before leaving, Ice Blue gently hugged Zazi and whispered in his ear, "Maybe, I will come back. If you are willing to wait for me.3 years, 5 years ...... to come back, will never leave again.
Said, ice blue in Zazi face gently kissed, turned and got into the car.
Zazhi stood there, like a tree that has experienced a long winter after being watered thoroughly by the melting snow of early spring, a little bit of stretching out of the branches and leaves, quickly flourish.
The bus started. The bus started, carrying Ice Blue in the direction she had come from. Zahi shouted loudly as if no one else was there: I will wait for you for the rest of your life, Binglan.
The long and loud aftermath, like the thorns that hide among the weeds in the mountains in summer, was a mess in Naked Carp's heart.
Naked Carp saw, turned back to Zazie, eyes have two clusters of burning flame, burning so exuberant and warm. Unseen, her heart was sinking a little to the bottom of the lake and turning to frost.
Seven
Three days later, Naked Carp disappeared. The night after spending her 18th birthday. Along with her went missing a colorful Tibetan robe that she had embroidered for many years.
When Abba was there, he said, "Naked Carp, when you grow up, you'll marry Zhaxi, but you'll have to sew your own wedding clothes.
That year, naked carp 10 years old, listening to the words of the Abba, without saying a word, ran out, begged the neighbor's mother to teach her to do Tibetan robes.
The beautiful Tibetan robe, naked carp insisted on embroidering the Qinghai Lake on it. From a small rape flower embroidery, embroidered snowy mountains, embroidered bird island, embroidered lake blue ...... embroidered a whole 8 years.
18 years old, is a Tibetan girl can be in July on the shores of Qinghai Lake tent waiting for the age of the lover.
But July is still far away.
At first, Zhaxi went to Bird Island as a naked carp. She'd said she'd go and clean up the birds' homes before they all flew back.
But after asking all the boaters, no one had ever seen a naked carp. Abba's best friend joked, "Zazie, you've lost your daughter-in-law and you're anxious! The newest addition to the list is the newest addition to the list, the newest addition to the list, the newest addition to the list.
Everyone knows that the naked carp is changed from the naked carp in Qinghai Lake and likes water.
It's just a joke, it's so cold and so far away, of course the naked carp won't.
But from that day on, the naked carp never came back.
The mother, who watched her grow up, said that maybe the girl was old enough to want to go back to her own home.
Zazhi just remembered, naked carp, she is a Han Chinese girl. She would not have set up a tent by the lake and waited for her lover, nor would she have worn a Tibetan robe as a dowry. Though, she had grown into the likeness of a Tibetan girl. So, maybe she's really going back, to find her home. Back to the city, like those beautiful Han Chinese girls.
Zazhi really thought so.
After that, in addition to driving the boat, Zahi stood by the lake for a long time every day, from early morning to dusk. It was as if he was waiting for the naked carp to suddenly emerge from the lake, or, as if he was waiting for something else.
Only suddenly, one day, Zahi in the boat side of the inconspicuous, saw a line of small letters written in light gray color pen: I come, I go back.
Small, rounded, somewhat nude-carp-like script, the same color as the hull of the boat, Zazi would not have noticed it at all if he had not carefully cleaned the cabin that day.
Then, on the engine's tiny fuselage, Zazi saw other words: the name of the thorn, called love. A similar orange-red color to the fuselage, it took great care to see it.
Later, other words were found on the ship. In different locations, in different colors. Just those little sentences and phrases of words that Zazie couldn't read or string together. There was no telling what Naked Carp was trying to say or when she wrote it. It was like a naughty child playing with words.
But spring was over, and Naked Carp had not returned. Zazi then believed that she was really not coming back. But his heart is still full of waiting. But that waiting has nothing to do with Naked Carp.
From that early spring morning, Zahi has changed into a waiting tree. Waiting for love.
Eight
Year after year. Without Naked Carp, Zahi lived a lonely but simple life. There was no one to urge him to change his soiled clothes, no one to call him back for dinner, no one to refill the coals in his stove at night. There was no one to hold on to him except for waiting, and he no longer held on to anyone.
Selling two houses and getting a new boat, he rarely took passengers. Zahi lived on less.
A railroad called "Heavenly Road" was opened one year, and the Qinghai Lake has become a hustle and bustle since then. A lot of people come and go, including a variety of Han Chinese women.
Zazhi will hide in the most noisy season, go to those who have not yet passed through the mountains of the highway, lying in the grass, look at the sky, look at the clouds. He knew that the person he was waiting for in such a hustle and bustle would not come.
Six years passed like this.
The morning of early spring of the sixth year, 30-year-old Zahi walked out of the house, Qinghai Lake only in the cold season has the silence and tranquility he likes. The lake was flooded with an icy blue that had come close again and again in his dreams.
That morning, Zahi suspected that he had returned to six years ago in a dream, only that beautiful back has not felt sadness, only peace and joy.
Ice Blue turned her head, and her face, lightly weathered in the light of day, smiled the warm smile of homecoming. It seemed like only yesterday she had just left, as if she knew that he would be standing here in the same unchanging position waiting for her to return.
She said, "Come on, Zazie, let's go fly.
Zazi reached out and took Icy Blue's hand, spreading it, like it had sprouted light wings.
Nine
In the center of the lake, a young Tibetan man, Zhaxi, and a Han Chinese woman, Binglan, who had been waiting for six years, were set for life. Binglan said, I want to be your wife, for you to have children, in this pure world. There is no fuss, no desire, no deception, no sorrow, just us.
But Ice Blue ignores that the world, is no longer as pure as it once was.
The small store by the lake, has dispersed out of the mundane world of thick smoke and fire smell. The company's compatriots, wearing Han Chinese cotton clothes, speak fluent Chinese.
Rice, green vegetables, and a steamed fish.
To the ice blue, the owner of the mysterious but showy tone, the Huangshui fish this season is not good to catch it, the taste but the most delicious. Do not say out oh, above now prohibited fishing.
They, already like the Han Chinese called naked carp for Huangshui, in the tourist season, is the Qinghai Lake to entertain tourists a signature dish, more because it is classified as a marine wildlife protection animals after the ban on fishing, the value of the dark multiply.
Zazhi's heart, a slight tremor, but can only be silent. The world was changing too fast for him to cope.
The fresh flavor of the meal brought Binglan back to earth.
Picking a bite of delicate fish, he picks it up and sniffs it, but suddenly passes it to Zahi's lips.
Caught off guard, Zahi ducked. Ice Blue passes it empty, but doesn't give up, stubbornly shoving it into Zazie's mouth with the willfulness of a woman in love.
Unable to distinguish the flavor, Zahi choked. A thin thorn, to be exact, lodged in Zazie's throat with the same capricious obstinacy.
Coughing and coughing, the tiny but soft thorn had disappeared into that tiny spot of the body in search of the missing.
For no apparent reason, in the midst of his slightly stagnant breathing, Zazie remembered the words he had seen on the ship, words that he had never been able to string together or read. But suddenly, unbelievably, they came together:
Qinghai Lake
The most beautiful tear on earth
I was a naked carp in this tear
I came
I went back
Growing an inch a year
Lurking at the bottom of the sea
Waiting for a day, years later
Waiting for a day, years later
When I'm not sure if I'll be able to read it, I can see that I've never been able to. One day, many years from now
you will fish me up
into your mouth
into your body
from now on, I will be a thorn in your heart
you won't feel the pain
but you will never be able to pull it out
The thorn's name is
love.
Ten
The tears of Zazie, slow as a lake.