When talking about the topic of life and death with friends around us, almost no one is afraid of death, probably because they all know that this is the most common end of life, and no one is immune to it. However, almost all of our friends are afraid of aging, yes, death is a mysterious demarcation, the Buddhists talk about karma, there is a Western paradise can be rutting to, Christ talk about hell and heaven, even if no one has seen the real angels and its white wings, and that mysterious journey and no traveling companion to come back to recount, there is no enough fear.
But aging is different, the fear of aging is always in the eyes. Wrinkles gradually climbed on the original tight face, black hair gradually replaced by silver, the world in the eyes has long been less clear than usual, the teeth are not, swallow what delicacies are not the original flavor, can not climb too high mountains, can not go too far away from the road, can often get together to talk about the year's former friends one by one to go, there is not much of the future is worth looking forward to and hope for, yes, such a life is how horrible.
However, from the first strand of silver silk appeared in the head of the moment, from their own packaged things to leave the post for the struggle of the day, when the children no longer need their own shelter has its own home, it seems to start a period of life imprisonment with an unknown death sentence, accompanied by a variety of inexplicable pain in various places, bruises and injuries are also easy to think of all kinds of things where to put it, and often fearful of worrying about all kinds of things. I fear all kinds of misfortunes, strokes, tumors, diabetes, myocardial infarction, uremia, and the ensuing unbearable and hopeless pain and the possibility of dragging down the people I love even more so that I can't help myself in fear. Really, it's too hopeless, isn't it?
But why did the ancients have the lament of the sunset? Sunset, the sun is not as hot and strong as at noon, but the gold scattered, will be clouds, mountains, mist, sea, are dyed on the blazing golden red, all things are also rested in the day of the joyful, and gradually become gentle and quiet up. The sun in the daytime, for the world of warmth and brightness and shine, only the light of the setting sun, is to shine to their own look, the world is no longer borrowed sunlight, but little by little burning lamps, grass and trees no longer grow, people also returned to the eaves, not far from the silence, but because of this, and more to grasp this bright.
Often in the busy anxious time hate to say, hurry up and retire, retirement is good, you can eat, drink and play in the north and south of the world, no longer need to leave the warmth of the nest in the winter in the Northeast is not always bright, you can slowly get up, do not panic to eat a breakfast, out of the weekdays all right pickled pickles, loaded in their favorite delicate plate, slow fire simmering on a pot of A porridge of all kinds of grains or vegetables, and after dinner a fruit, although it must be cut into small pieces or squeezed into juice. After eating, served a book, casually turn to, do not seek to understand, look tired, go out with the walk, do not buy things, do not do things, is to walk, walk enough to want to eat outside, eat a bite, as it is healthy or not, if it is still not hungry, then sleep for a while first.
In the afternoon, you can draw a picture for a while, or write a word for a while, in the home to raise some flowers, or fish, you can also ask a few old partners, play mahjong, play enough, go out, outside the square dance of the old sisters have been waiting for it, singing and dancing, happy, come back to see the eight o'clock bubble drama, or with a glass of wine to watch a movie, the climate is good time to go out and go to the place that has not been. Go out in good weather, go to places you've never been, because life is unattached, and individuals who have any emotional attachment to themselves have found others to rely on, so you can rest assured that your life will be placed in any happy corner. I remember talking to my soulmate about this expectation and she said, "I look forward to it too, to those days when I live only for myself, but only if I am healthy. So it doesn't seem right that today we should be forever exploring how to bravely move forward, should we not properly jump out, run to the end of the line, then step back and ask our hearts, how do you really want to grow old?
If I am full of hostility to the old, then the wrinkles on the face when aging must be ugly, so I am willing to learn to be gentle in the prosperous years; if I am always concerned about the old, then the old side of the close friends must be fewer than the poor, so I am willing to learn to tolerate the prosperous years; if I do not have specialties and hobbies of the old, then it will be difficult to pass the time of boredom in old age, so I am willing to learn to tolerate the prosperous years; if I do not have specialties and hobbies of the old, then it is difficult to pass the boring time in the I am willing to cultivate at least one hobby that has nothing to do with fame and fortune in my prosperous years, and to turn at least one preference into a belief.
The other day I watched a video on the Internet about how to make yourself happy, most of the time, we will be happy to see a kind of high-level spiritual pursuit as a value orientation, as a world view to worship, we have ignored the importance of the methodology, Zhang Defen said in that video, so, what is happiness? Happiness is a choice. When you choose to be happy as the end result and purpose, there will not be so many demands, so many calculations, and the result is that you will end up, really, definitely getting happier and happier.
If you also choose to be a warm old man, the following suggestions may help you.
The first order of business for a warm old age is to choose to love yourself y.
Because a person who doesn't love himself, who is humble and prejudiced against any part of himself, doesn't wait for old age to begin the unnecessary self-torture, because he doesn't love his own origin and family of origin enough, so he chooses to socialize and hangover, chooses to overdraw his body early to fight for a career or prospect that is not his own desire, of course, with a great love for the society and for other people and immensely enjoys the great success brought to himself by the struggle. Of course, those who do it with great love for society and others, and enjoy immensely the great fulfillment that comes to them because of the success of their struggle, are to be excluded. There are people who choose a loveless marriage, choose to meet in all corners of life, crowned because the family forced the urgent, because of their own full understanding of their own defects, all the compromises seem to know the time, to put it bluntly are not enough to love their own performance, because a person who loves themselves enough in their own eyes, there is no defects, since she loves themselves, they can accept their own this or that kind of shortcomings, and only you can be complete. The lack of, and only you can accept the integrity of their own, you are willing to believe that the beauty of this world, they also have the right and may have, and no longer worry about losing, and only you do not worry about losing, only to have it well, all the intimate relationship is so. By choosing to love yourself, and making all the decisions for yourself that are aimed at happiness, you will be able to find happiness and feel it all the time, so that you can pass it on in a natural and unobtrusive way, to the people you love, and to resist the negative energies that surround you.
The second guideline for aging with temperature is to choose to affirm your choices.
Life in most of the time, is not allowed to choose, there are always so many does not belong to our responsibilities and pressures are imposed on ourselves, is that we ourselves did our best to do all the right things, these things happen with us have nothing to do with us at all, but we have to go to clean up this mess, all the things must have a result, the good and the bad, we put the clean up the mess or not, there will always be an ending, or we do not touch the matter, is also considered an ending, whether exhausted to others wiped the stink of the ass or stand aside and stand by and pinch the nose, are our choices, the day the ending appears, we have to be sure of their own in the assumption of all the choices between the ending, as long as the end of being in the end in the end of the node of the us Did not die, we have the opportunity to affirm their own choices, a view of life values have no problem people, understand that life is in fact a trade-off, the fish and the bear's paw can not be both, do not violate the law and not chaotic things, originally has nothing to do with the right or wrong, only with the position.
But in this process, you are very important for their own evaluation, the end of this undertaking may have nothing to do with your happiness index, at best, but by others to show off the speed of the tongue, and if you blame this end on their own wrong choices, or even if the matter is resolved, you may be full of aggrieved, and feel that all the pay is so innocent, then you are in the denial of their own! When you made the decision to take it all on, such a thought process will make you more and more disgusted with everything in the world, and make you evaluate everything around you along with the darkness, because whether it is things or people, there are going to be two opposing and contradictory aspects, and such a way of thinking will make you stare at the shadows forever without seeing the sunshine.
To make an analogy, you love a person y, pay millions of dollars to him, but do not get the desired return, the correct thinking result is that you are very happy that this person can let you love like this for once, you are y intoxicated in this state of deep love for a person, and when you find out the result of the time you know that you still can't let go of this love, but you don't deny this person, because you don't deny that you love him. Choice ah, you just with a deep love for their own for this person, far from the watch and blessing, you can still be very good friends, and he will certainly appreciate your dedication and fulfillment. Wrong thinking is, because there is no return on the thought of what he is so, he has what good, in his last life in fact owed him what, non-stop mental flogging that can not let go of his own, because you negate the decision of the first that y love him ah, so you will not have any intersection, you will not even say a good word with him, others are not matter because of love, will always be a person's thing.
The third thing to grow old with temperature is, of course, to create a sense of security for your aging self at a prosperous age.
Tell you how to struggle for chicken soup and slap too much, teach you financial management of the masterpiece is also too much, of course, anyone can not deny that the economic foundation determines the theory of the superstructure, all the spiritual enjoyment of security most of them come from the material, and beyond the enjoyment of the material class itself is a spiritual fulfillment, the book is necessary, the bread is also must have, hungry to read, can only be the more you see the more hungry. The more you read, the hungrier you get. I will never deny that material abundance is the remedy to save all spiritual emptiness, but I must emphasize that the difference between gold worship and miserliness is that what gold worship loves is the fullness brought by rich wealth and the satisfaction brought by the process of enjoying wealth, while the miser's life, never live out of the class that should be, in the class of the cracks, silently bear the hard work and aggravation of earning money, but do not let this All reasonable vent, the other side of the eye and look at the same class of people, while in the heart envy, while the mouth on the preaching, silent fermentation into jealousy, it is very boring.
However, the real sense of security, and material related and unrelated, because the material can never be conserved, in the fate of the trick often seem stretched, today said the sense of security, is how to live into a cactus, just inserted where you can live, and also live endless. Let's push back, when are you at your lowest level of security? When you were afraid of losing someone? At a time when you feared losing the business you were working on right now? When a lot of impermanence is beyond your imagination? But life is impermanent, too many subtle variables we have no control, and the best way to cope with all this, is to learn to accept the impermanence of life, a true understanding of the readiness to lose everything before you can really have everything, is not a kind of unappreciated, but all the things we have do not cherish and do not feel deserved, in the face of all the give and take a smile, to cope with all the sordid and despicable, but also to be willing to believe in the fruition of reincarnation, to be willing to believe in the fruition of reincarnation. I am willing to believe in the reincarnation of the fruit.
The so-called security, there are clothes to warm the body, there is food to eat, there is a bed to sleep, that's all, the sky of this peace era, not so easy to collapse. This point of view in the eyes of many people, seems to be too indifferent, people are not sages, how can there be no feelings and desires without no fear? However, when you desperately want to have the time, when you desperately cherish the time, when you think of always losing the time, you will not be afraid to lose the moment of heartache and hesitation in paying? Even a lot of people do not cherish the career and feelings of the time, will shamelessly say, ah, almost on the line, sooner or later is not a retirement, is not a separate it? That's how it is ~ a person full of security will never think so, because they have long been not to emotionally perceive the world, but with the whole body and mind to experience the world, rolling red dust, hidden in the city, and ultimately return to the dust, and finally finally, the years like a silent movie, wrapped in a white pony past the Shaohua, carrying endless chaotic dust, and ultimately ended up in the night. So are you still afraid of coming and going? Are you still afraid of starting over? You are still afraid of it?
In the end, may the dust of the world whisk by and not pollute your heart; may the suffering of the world undertake to let you full of hope!
DAY 4 of the 21-Day Challenge Camp without Rings~