2. Someone asked me which is more powerful, a lion or a tiger, I think a perm should not be able to do a tattooed one.
three. Husband rebuked: you burn this where is the green vegetables? Wax yellow wax yellow. The wife immediately replied: you come home so late every day, of course, you will not know that they were once youthful on my spatula too.
Four. You smell of her perfume, and one whiff tells me it's not as expensive as mine.
V. Before I got married I was your angel, after I got married I was still, every day by you to make.
VI. To say that the impractical small appliances, I think the first to belong to the sweeping robot, my dog pulled the rake, and then the sweeping robot to wipe it evenly.
seven. Since I learned to talk back, my wife has learned to sharpen her knives.
VIII. Every time I see a couple carving their names under a tree, I'm left pondering why you guys bring knives to a date.
9. Finally realized that the roller coaster ride is really scary. Sitting at the time of the risk of gunfire like spittle, down to find themselves in the mouth more pieces of gum, which is not my Yida!
X. Why do so many people say they are lonely. I'm not going to be able to do that. I want to find a man/girlfriend, but still single? God replied: because not only their own ugly, but also suspected that others look ugly. 11. life experience. Never fight with martial arts, I once met a practiced, he a roundhouse kick ah! I avoided, his big hip bone fell fracture, blackmailed me 20,000
eight, said more are tears ah ......
twelve. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world. Finally, after two years of ordering take-out time, reached the point of excellence! Roommate: "Hello?" Boss: "En." Then both parties hang up the phone and the takeout comes 10 minutes later.
13. At home, I found a bottle of expired toner. Baidu searched: "toner expired, how to waste utilization?" Popped up an answer: "Keep it for my husband!"
Fourteen. A friend of mine named Wang Genji. The first time he went to his old man's house, the old man warmly greeted: "You are Genji, right!" Mother-in-law blankly glanced at the old man and said: "called what the hell, or called small base it!" At this point, my friend said with a black face, "Call me Xiao Wang!"
Fifteen. Roommate bought a
180cm long teddy bear muppet, hollow it out, every morning exercise to hide in the muppet, to prevent checking the dormitory. Then one day he was caught. He hid inside as usual, then heard the sound of the door closing and got up, who knows the principal did not go, suddenly saw a teddy bear climbed up, almost scared the principal.
Sixteen. There is a buddy, DUI, was found by the police, he wisely ran into the crowd of square dancers. Due to the drunkenness can not keep up with the footsteps was found by the police, and then took him away. The two old men next to him were horrified: "Holy shit, you can't dance well and still be taken away!"
XVII. Little Ruth went to take the test for the noble kindergarten, during the interview the teacher took out a 10 dollar bill and asked, "What's this?" Little Ruth quickly answered, "It's a scrap of paper that Grandma gave to the beggar." The teacher said, "Well, there's no need to take the test, you've been accepted."
XVIII. A girl got her boyfriend's engagement ring the night before, but none of her coworkers even noticed, making her angry. In the afternoon, when everyone was sitting and talking, she suddenly stood up and said loudly, "Oh, it's so hot in here, I think I'd better take off the ring.
XIX. There are only two kinds of balls in China do not need to compare to know the result, a table tennis and a soccer ball, one is no one can not beat, one is no one can not beat.
II
X. I said to my mom, "I am ready to diet to lose weight." Mom nervously said, "No, dieting hurts the body." I heart suddenly warm, said: "I will pay attention to." Mom still shook her head: "No, you are now fat people think it is you eat a lot, in case you diet still fat, people will say it is genetic!"
Twenty-one. One day, the leader came to our company inspection, saw my office fish tank. Looked at half a day did not see what it is, asked me. I answered: "Shrimp ah." The leader froze, turned around and left. I quickly shouted: "leadership shrimp ah! Shrimp ah! Leader. Leader really shrimp." On the
second day I was fired.
Twenty-two. Quarreled with his wife Qianjin advised me: "Dad, don't be general with mom, women are spoiled, beat up on it!" "I dare not ah!" I said. Thousand gold cross-eyed and said to me: "You can let mom beat you, this is not often the case, this is all spoiled" Alas! Do not say healing in the ......
Twenty-three. The eve of the exam, I followed the online tutorial to do some transparent cheat sheet, carefully pasted on the Coke bottle. As a result, as soon as I entered the examination room, the supervising teacher asked me: you have answers on this Coke bottle, right? I was surprised: ah, teacher, this you can see? The teacher was furious: nonsense, who test with a
2.
5 liter bottle of Coke!
Twenty-four. The rest of your life, your husband smokes, you buy a small earrings; your husband drinks, you buy a small diamond ring; your husband should pay you do not make a fuss, buy a small necklace; years later, waist ten thousand is you, gold ten thousand is you, diamond ring to show off the rich is you, glory and wealth is you, and he, just a bad old man.