1, interrupting the child
In the process of playing cards in the children's companion reading, I found a child and my child a small name, also called PiPi. Ask the age: 1.5 months. This compared to my baby 1.5 years old to start reading picture books is also late enough. When he first started reading, he looked at me and grabbed the book when I took it (I was quite happy), but after grabbing it, he threw it away instead of reading it, so I labeled my child as not liking to read. Why is it like this3? Then think about it to understand a little, is my storytelling method has a problem: at first get the book the child is quite interested in sitting ready to listen to, after all, the picture book is colorful, the picture is still very beautiful, the problem is that I do not understand, so I can not follow his thoughts, he is interested in looking at this page, but I said to him: PiPi, look, what is this? Look, what's that? In no time, the child ended up by getting annoyed and throwing the book. I thought that the child did not like to read the book, in fact, the child is not not like, but I just in the child focused on the time of interest to interrupt his thinking, so that he did not have the ability to focus on what he is interested in.
2, parallel companion
One afternoon home from work, the child was playing blocks, saw me back, wa said: Mom, we come together to build blocks it? I nodded my head and agreed to sit down and build blocks with the child, at the same time, the brain began to fight: at work was criticized by the leadership, where I did not do the right thing, how to amend my method; there is a pile of clothes did not wash; my husband accounted for me to do the thing has not been done; a long time no call to Mom and Dad, the evening party to make a phone call to it ...... In a word, it is a variety of Thoughts were flying around. The baby said again: mom, let's play with the blocks together! I also dead duck mouth hard: I'm already playing with you ah, but the child showed: not happy! The child's ability to perceive is very strong, you have no real play with him, he is feeling it!
3, high-quality companionship
Yesterday evening, I took the baby out for a walk, the baby rode a scooter, all the way to catch up with me, very happy. To the park, follow the music of the square dance all kinds of jumping, but also pulled me together jump (jump into what you can imagine ah); in a slope upward, shouting at me to let me "save him", once and again, every time "save him" come up to embrace! I and said you finally saved me up; and then the baby has difficulties to solve their own I give encouragement and praise; I pretended not to ride the scooter, let him teach me to ride, the whole process is very happy can be said to enjoy! Finally, the child said: mom, we should go home, it is time to go home to wash and brush your teeth and tell stories and go to bed. I was shocked: I didn't remind him that it was time to go home, I didn't tell him what time it was (in fact, I didn't know what time it was either). Compared to the past, I always kept urging him: it's 8 o'clock, 8:30, it's too late to go home, and I'm not happy if my kids don't have fun!
I suddenly realized that this process is a kind of high-quality companionship: when you are with your child, you empty your mind of all the things you want to do, you get down to business, you pay attention to the present moment, you observe your child, you play with him, you dance with him, you go crazy with him, and just as Mr. Wuji's empowering article says: "See" the child! The first thing I want to do is to make sure that I have a good understanding of what I'm talking about!
I've heard it said that the longer the parents, especially the mother, are with the child, the happier the child will be in the future. I don't know how to understand this statement. Doesn't quantity matter? Of course, but the quality is more important. If we spend time with our children absentmindedly, our children feel that being with them makes us unhappy, and this is a kind of harm to them. All kinds of education, many experts are saying that quality companionship should focus on the child's interests and guide them accordingly. I always feel that there is nothing I can do. Originally, I had prepared some theoretical content for this flipped class, but Mr. Wuji suggested that I use my own daily companionship with my children to elaborate. Mr. Wuji told me that what I do every day is to provide quality companionship. At first I thought, "I don't think I've ever done quality accompaniment, so how can I share it? However, I realized that the punch cards in the training camp: drawing, reading, playing games with children, paying attention to and encouraging children's strengths, this is the process of connecting with children, the process of seeing and being seen. This is a kind of high-quality companionship ah!
Of course, we need to work, life, work, life, there are too many trivial things make us very tired, when we really can not do it, do not overly self-blame, to give themselves permission for people. Even if it's only 5 minutes a day, it's better than being distracted throughout the day together.