However, with the growth of age and the constant change of objective environment, many people's cognition will change. For some people, when material conditions are met and more and more free time is available, what they feel is sometimes not necessarily happiness, but boundless emptiness and loneliness. Especially some retired people, when they finally live the retirement life they yearned for when they were young, they are no longer happy, and some even fall into depression.
Ms. Yuan, 62, on campus, is such an example. She used to be an employee of a state-owned enterprise and retired at the age of 55. The only son works in a first-tier city, and the only grandson has gone to primary school. Her family is very rich. Before her husband retired, she was a middle-level cadre of state-owned enterprises. She has a strong business ability and has earned a lot of money by taking private jobs for many years. Today, Ms. Yuan has six suites in this third-tier city where she lives, but she is never happy. Now she often suffers from insomnia and is depressed.
Ms. Yuan is a little depressed. As a mother, she always wanted her son to develop well, so he stayed in Beijing to work. Although she was uncomfortable, she agreed. Housing prices in Beijing are very high. She and her husband originally planned to sell several houses in this third-tier city and buy a house for their son in Beijing. Who knows that the woman's parents suggested that they are also only children, and the marriage money of the two children is half, and the names of both children are written in the household registration book. This proposal is very practical, and Ms. Yuan and her husband readily agreed.
In the year when my daughter-in-law gave birth to a child, I asked my parents to help me take care of the child, which lasted for several years. On several occasions, Ms. Yuan went to Beijing to see her grandson, hoping that her mother-in-law or her son and daughter-in-law would advise the two old people to take care of their children, but they didn't mention anyone. What makes her even more angry is that the mother lives in her son's house just like at home, but she has become a guest. Especially every holiday, it makes her even more depressed to learn that her son and daughter-in-law went to their parents' home with their children in their arms. She felt that she had raised a son for someone else.
Ms. Yuan is very disappointed with her son. She wants to pin the happiness of the rest of her life on her husband. They have been married for many years, and her husband is enterprising and has been taking some private jobs outside. He has more friends, more entertainment and less family management, so the relationship between the two people can only be described as dull. My husband worked hard for many years and bought six houses for his family. In Ms. Yuan's view, it is time to enjoy her old age. She likes traveling, and hopes that her retired husband will accompany her to travel for two or three months every year, but her husband has his own career. He said to Ms. Yuan, "Go with friends. I don't like traveling." Seeing her husband's attitude, Ms. Yuan also gave up the idea of traveling.
What makes Ms. Yuan uncomfortable is that after retirement, most of her peers take their grandchildren at home. She has no grandchildren to take with her and her son seldom comes home. I expected the old couple to be together, but her husband is very busy every day. Once, she watched TV at home all day, so lonely. In the evening, her husband came home and couldn't help getting angry, but he actually replied to her: "We have been married for so many years, what is there to talk about together?" Husband's words, like a knife inserted in her heart, pierced her imagination of a happy marriage. It turned out that her husband was busy because he couldn't find the same language as her.
Ms. Yuan doesn't know how to face her old age. More precisely, she doesn't know how to face her endless loneliness. She wants to go out to work. At least she has her own circle. But now the workplace is dominated by young people, and she is not short of money. Why put on another shackle? She envies some people with poor economic conditions. They can make up their minds, don't think too much, and devote all their energy to making money, so that life will not be so difficult. She envies those who love square dancing or singing. There is one thing that they can join happily, but they have nothing.
Think of Schopenhauer's words: The more sources of happiness people find in themselves, the happier they will be, because other sources of happiness are inherently unreliable, extremely short-lived and easy to lose, which can be seen from the lives of the elderly.
Yuan's daughter's loss and depression stems from her placing happiness on her son and husband. When her son grew up to be independent, had his own life and no longer needed her to pay, she felt greatly lost. At the same time, I pin my hope for happiness on my husband, thinking that he should know himself, know himself and care about himself. But the feelings between husband and wife are accumulated over time, and everyone is an independent individual. Even a responsible person may not meet all your expectations.
If a person places his hopes for happiness on foreign objects and others, he will eventually be disappointed. Because as you get older, you will find that people's demand for foreign things will decrease. No matter how much money, it is just a number, and you can't buy the happiness you want. People who can find pleasure in a dull life will make a long and boring life look more interesting. A rich inner world is the only source of a happy life.
Always remember to cultivate your heart and make it full and interesting. For retired old people, first of all, don't dwell too much on the past, but learn to let go. After retirement, people are entering a new stage of life. Only by learning to put an end to the past, not to entangle the mistakes of the past, not to indulge in the glory of the past, and to adjust your mood, can we take a good road in the future.
Secondly, don't force yourself to do things you don't like, such as entering circles you don't like, contacting people you don't like, and attending dinner parties you don't like. When I was young, some things were forced. After retirement, you should learn to face your heart, don't do anything against your will, and keep your heart calm and comfortable, not affected by external things.
Most importantly, people should learn to enjoy the loneliness after retirement. The essence of life is loneliness, especially with the growth of age, you will realize this more deeply, learn to get along with yourself, be yourself calmly in loneliness, do what you really like, let time accompany you beautifully, and let the old age accompany you calmly.