? Xu Jiayi, at that moment I was really a bit caught off guard, many years I did not even realize that, no matter how time passes, your name is engraved in my heart, the moment I think of the memories will not stop tumbling, thoughts will begin to erode my heart.
[1]?
? One afternoon in early summer, I went back to my old house in the countryside alone, ready to spend a vacation where, in the meantime, take a break. My favorite thing is to sit in the shade of a tree in the summer afternoon and blow a little wind, enjoy the unique scenery of the countryside and breathe fresh air.
? That afternoon when Axi came to me, I was nestled in a chair in the shade, I was finishing an article lazily listening to a song and blowing in the breeze, and in the distance I saw her carrying a guitar, clutching a piece of paper in her hand, her long hair blown up by the wind, and two or three drops of sweat on her forehead.
? I curled up in a chair looking off into the distance and fuming, quietly enjoying the summer. Ash placed his guitar in front of me and shoved the paper in my hand, smacking his lips, "Li A Li! Begging you once is really hard, I carry this guitar from the city to here, hot to crazy, you are good, here leisurely."
? I looked at the sheet music in my arms, not even the strength to respond to her, a hard to recline in the chair.
? Ash and I were invited by one of the sisters from our alma mater, who wanted us to attend her graduation concert to cheer her up. Ashi had been signed by her company as a singer since graduation, this was not a difficult task for her, while I had not done such a thing for a long, long time, so long that even I had forgotten the time, yet I could not excuse myself because of my friendship. After three or four times of my harassment, Ash still had the good sense to push through the remaining song for me, she knew that I wasn't as good as I used to be, because a few years back, I had severely injured my voice practicing day and night for public performances, and to this day, I would get itchy and sore after singing two or three songs.
"Li A Li! You get up, hurry hurry hurry, just one song and you have to go on the day after tomorrow, pull yourself together for fuck's sake!" Ash pulled at my clothes, one by one.
? In the end, I was so annoyed by her prodding that I had to take the guitar, hold it in my arms, and wait for the countless memories to come flooding back.
? Memory through the light of day, I still remember the grand youth Knight several years ago, it was hidden in the attic of memories, first appeared in the sun. It was about you, Xu Jiayi.
"Hey, is everything okay A Li?" I asked as I came back to my senses only to realize that I had been in a daze for a long time, and Ash looked over at me, setting the sheet music on the table.
? I gave her a look and didn't answer her.
? There's so much going on, how can it be okay.
? Luckily I'm not particularly forgetful when it comes to musical attainments, and I still remember all the chords and fingerings you taught me back then.
? I'm not sure how much I can remember in this life.
? "I'm going to play an intro, and you can just come in directly from the end of the, uh, G chord here." I pointed to the sheet music and then played it to familiarize her with it.
? Ash, in order to ease my nervousness at the memory of the past, suddenly smiled a thief's smile and said, "Well, there's a pattern, I can't see that you're still a skilled player, that's good, I'll hire you to be my exclusive guitarist."
? I smiled and was silent.
? On the day of the concert, Ash returned to her alma mater chirping with excitement, and I was y touched until I saw the dense audience below my sister's concert and was instantly dumbfounded. I looked at the stage wearing a gorgeous dress of the senior sister, makeup under the radiant, eyes like starlight to us, Ahi has been accustomed to this on-stage scenery, the stage is her life, and you, like the music to bring the thrill, and I am the opposite of you, not accustomed to standing in this kind of environment.
? Two beams of light hit down, I slowly strummed the strings, the whole stage was quiet, leaving the guitar melody echoing there.
? "I came to your city
? Walking the way you came
? Imagine what it would be like without me
? How lonely you are
? ......"
? Ash's mature voice, filling everyone's eardrums, my hands shaking slightly, in the colorful halo, like a dream, I seem to see you, every face in the audience seems to become you, the image back to years ago when you taught me to play the guitar, the clean side of the face eyes suddenly blinking, at that moment I had the impulse to tears, I learned from the then you gently open your mouth:
? "Will you suddenly appear
? In the corner of the coffee shop
? I'll wear a smile
? And wave hello
? ......
? Just to say to you
? Just to say a long time no see"
Xu Jiayi, long time no see, in you, maybe just time running, in me, like through a thousand years can not find redemption of the sufferer.
[2]
? When leaving, Axi especially pretentious said to recall the glory of the alma mater, without saying a word, pulling me around, dead shameless to me to treat, all the way to eat and drink surprisingly ate up my meal money for several meals, I actually have the patience to see her run around.
? Suddenly remembered that I was supposed to stop and look at my only intersection with you. How in the world does time linger on, taking away our inescapable past
? Ash walked in front of me and yelled, I gave her a blank look, put on a face that she owed me millions, and snatched the Starbucks coffee out of her hand, tilting my head back and drinking it. Given that I was the one who paid the bill, she had no choice but to call it quits.
? When I passed through the mailroom, I was sorting out all kinds of letters to the uncle recognized me, I remember when Axi went out with the team to compete, pretending to be a special literary, every place will send me postcards, back and forth uncle also know me, do not know thought I was in and boyfriends get tired of the literary girl.
? The uncle smiled and brought a letter in front of me, said this letter in the mailroom for two years, if not here by chance, I think it is also a pile of unclaimed letters in the mailroom and returned together. I nodded, thinking about how long it had been a while before I graduated. I looked at the signature on it, the word Li Li was obvious, and it just so happened that the handwriting was something I would never forget in my life, your handwriting.
? My hands are trembling slightly, a shake of time seems to return to a few years ago, you and I are meeting, trance seems to be separated from a century long, as if I met you again, and I said I want to be at peace with the soul in the depths of the heart into the past can not be pulled out, I looked at the hands of two years late in the letter, suddenly very happy, but very sad, very curious to know what memories you will leave me.
? Ash probably saw exactly, pulling me and that uncle to say goodbye, through the school boulevard, the head falls full of fragrant osmanthus flowers. I looked at her thin back, can not help but wet eyes, these years of ordinary days are her instead of you accompany me through the most difficult time, whether it is the loss of you in the valley can not climb up, or life all kinds of bad and helpless, although occasionally people crazy, but the most understanding of me is none other than her.
? She asked me, is Xu Jiayi? I nodded and said Axi, let's go home.
? She looked at my reddened eyes, trying to change the tone, pretending to be serious, said, "Che, met Xu Jiayi with the wrong drug, well, I am your mistress he is your real, tsk tsk."
? I was silent, just staring stupidly at the envelope in my hand. I was in a daze when I heard Ash whisper in my ear, "Ali, without him, you still have me."
? Just now, I remembered that day you also said this sentence, you said don't be afraid, there is me. Instantly illuminated my whole world.
[3]
? That year, also in such a summer day, I just read the senior high school, or a silly working girl, the family is not solid, in order to make up the enrollment fee, entrusted the relationship of classmates, in his cousin's bar as a waiter, but also at that time to recognize the Lindsay.
? The first time I saw him was when he was a young man, and he was a young man, and he was a young man, and he was a young man, and he was a young man, and he was a young man, and he was a young man, and he was a young man.
? Lindsey's character is straightforward and arrogant, a little hot-tempered, everyone in the bar is fierce, only to me, every word spoken is a whisper, then I and he mingled because he will praise me every paycheck when the service is very thoughtful, and then processing wages. Until he knew the truth and was so angry that he didn't even speak to me for days.
? The day I realized that Lindsey liked me was the day I met you.
? That day, Lindsay hired a new resident singer who was a close friend of his, namely you, Xu Jiayi. That night was your first night of singing, and Lindsay had invited a lot of friends to come to his bar to support you, and I was so busy handing out drinks and water that I was almost out of breath. When the lights came down, I happened to pass by the stage, and I saw you sitting on a chair under the bright lights, holding your guitar, like an angel coming down.
? I was stunned, as if I had been nailed in the head, and I didn't come back to my senses for a long time.
? And it was then that I realized what it meant to fall in love at first sight.
? "The last song of the night was given to Li Li by Lindsey." I heard your low voice, as good as a cello, and I realized that my name could be called so beautifully. You strummed the strings and sang softly and shallowly:
"How did I get hooked on you
? I'm asking myself
? I can give up anything
? I can't believe it's hard to leave today
? ......
? If this is a dream
? I'd like to stay drunk forever
? I've been patient, I've waited so long
? Maybe waiting for you to come
? ? Maybe waiting for you to come
? ? Oops Cinderella
? My Cinderella ......"
? Once or twice when you and I looked at each other in an electric moment, my heart raced several times, I looked into your bright eyes, intoxicated by your singing voice and could not help myself, until Lindsay walked up to me with a smile and handed me a red rose in front of a lot of people, I came back to my senses. I used my afterglow to sneak a glance at you who was organizing your instrument on the stage, while Lin Xi directly stuffed the rose into my arms without saying a word, and then looked at me a little coyly and said, "Ah Li, be my girlfriend."
? The whole bar boiled up, surrounded by a clamor, "together" three words cycle in my ears, I stood dumbfounded, did not respond to Lin Xi, but Lin Xi seems to see my embarrassment, grinned and threw down a sentence, "you think about it, I'll wait for you," twisted his head and smiled and walked out of the bar. I'm not going to be able to get a good look at this, so I'm going to try to find a way to get a good look at it.
? Later the whole night, I was in a trance, thoughts have been wandering in your body, but pretend to be what happened from your side back and forth busy, blurring either knocked over the guests' glasses or something to send the wrong table number, causing the guests to slap the table, pointing at me angrily roared: "What's the matter with you waiter? What are you doing to eat!"
? I was so scared that the nerves are confused, a strong compensation is not, you suddenly came over, while asking what happened to that person, while I said "all right, there I."
? Since that moment, I know I completely fell, let the warmth flow through my whole body.
[4]
? The next few days I stayed in the bar longer and longer, because always before you come to make time to listen to you rehearsal, before you go to do all the things to see you leave, the family said also said, but in the sake of my hard work to make money on the part of also let me go.
? And you would be wrong, thought I was interested in playing the guitar, asked me: "You want to learn?"
? I puzzled, scratching my head carelessly, then nodded my head vigorously.
? Lindsay flossed her teeth next to her and said with a smile, "I didn't realize ah, it turns out that our A Li also has musical cells."
? In fact, since that night, I repeated every night to think about how I should reject Lindsey, cobbled together a paragraph by paragraph words hard to say. I'm afraid to say it, I'm afraid he'll fire me, I'm afraid I won't be able to stay here to see you anymore, and I know I'm being selfish about it.
? "We commonly used musical notes there are seven, sing the name is do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, si. tone name is CDEFGAB, mi and fa, si and do is chromatic relationship, the other are whole tone, the tone is also divided into high and low, you see, here is the treble mi is the first string of the empty string, the first pint is the fa, the two is no separation of the second string ......"
? "A C chord is the index finger on the first fret of the second string, the middle finger on the second fret of the fourth string, the ring finger on the third fret of the fifth string, and an Am chord is moving the ring finger to the second fret of the third string ......"
? I watched you seriously explain the appearance, enjoy it, one by one memorized, and these are just to solve my all-day boredom in the sea of questions.
? Teach me to play the guitar when you are a very good teacher, I am like a vigorous child, practicing day and night, until the fingertips are full of blood, you said, why are you so desperate, the guitar is not your so dead, to wait for the fingers to grow calluses will not be so painful. I said I really liked the guitar, just like you. Then many days you refused to touch the guitar, urged me to wait for a good hand and then touch, gradually, I learned those skills you taught me, from the heart like its pleasant music, I will hold you lend me the guitar in the room to practice until late at night, until the fingertips are full of thick calluses, like a little bit of my budding to you more and more worship.
? I remember one night, you sang a song "Passionate Desert", and later I asked you why you sang it so vigorously, and I joked that it was because I liked the desert?
? You were stunned and shook your head faintly.
? I told you, I love the desert, and San Mao, like the vastness of the desert, yearning for the freedom of every grain of sand in the desert, if there is a chance I want to go there to take a risk, to find a companion like Hershey, free and easy to live.
? You laugh, do not say anything, self-conscious put away the score folder.
? I asked you where your favorite place was, and you looked up and said, "The shade of the countryside."
? I didn't understand the beauty of this place until many years later, and at the time I just let out a long, oh-so-long sigh, and you said, "You don't get it.
? You don't know that I lost an entire summer because of that comment, while I realized that my feelings for you were getting deeper and deeper and deeper. I also like the shade of the tree from then on, so I walked to which shade will think of you, love the house and the bird like to stand there for most of the clock.
? Fourth of July that night, Lindsay invited us a few drinks, I and Lindsay a mouthful of a cup of down, and you just drink tea and smoke, I frowned a hand to take away your cigarette case, "Singing people do not smoke, hurt the voice, how do you test like this."
? Lindsay looked at me y, but you froze, took back the cigarette case from my hand, looked at me and lit up a, I was a little afraid, because you look at my eyes with a strange detachment strange and a little chill, but I do not understand why.
? The party to the end of the time, Lindsey suddenly pulled me, asked me to consider how, I just remembered, I have not yet replied to his pursuit.
? I glanced at you, you have organized the backpack, ready to leave, I also want to get up and leave the scene, but Lindsay suddenly tightly pulled my hand, a little drunken eyes full of expectation, the silence of two or three minutes you have and Lindsay said goodbye, disappeared in the door. I thought of many, many reasons to refuse, but none of them could mitigate the damage, I do not want to hurt him, I just know that I do not want to hurt him. I knew that any response from me would be an excuse, and after thinking about it, with a hard heart, I said, "Lindsey, I have a favorite."
? He did not swallow a mouthful of wine "poof" sprayed in my face, and then fell off the couch and fell asleep, making me laugh and cry.
[5]
? The whole winter vacation, in addition to studying for the senior party, I also Baidu a lot of sheet music, day and night to ponder, here change there make up, thinking of New Year's Eve day to let you see the results of my practice.
? New Year's Eve day Lindsay's island is full of people, lively and unlike words, I remember then sophomore you are also on vacation, Lindsay did not want you to go up to sing, I looked for a long time and finally found you in the corner, you sat on the couch crossed legs, and you next to the beautiful woman who looks very temperamentally spelled wine.
? I walked over to you and called out to you loudly, "Xu Jiayi, I've learned it well, I'm going to play it for you."
? You looked up in surprise, got up with a cry, pointed to the guitar on the stage, and said faintly, "Go up and play."
? I tried hard to hide my timidity, but my heart was beating wildly. If it were normal, for the cowardly me this would be like asking for my life. And at the moment, I look at you, make a very serious expression and ask you, "Are you ...... sure?"
? You do not know my mind, overlook the eyebrows, with a little provocative smile: "How? Do not dare?"
? I asked you again, "Are you really sure?"
? "Sure." You said.
? At your urging, I sauntered over to the small stage, pushed my way through the crowd, walked up and grabbed my guitar, dimmed the lights myself, and with the crowd below me surging, applauding and screaming, I didn't care about them, plugged in my pickups, set up my chair, and pointed to you to signal you to come up to the front of the stage, and you made your way through the crowd to the bottom of the stage, and stood silently.
? With that confidence still in place, I strummed my way through the crowd and the arena instantly fell silent.
? "A little bit more forward and I'll nod my head
? A little bit more impulsive and I won't blink
? ......
? I'm a friend or a lover
? Sweet, upset, happy and confused
? What will become of us
? I can't wait to find out
? A little more forward and I'll nod my head
? Just a little bit more and I won't dodge
? Just three words and don't take so long
? You can have me if you say it"
? I looked into your eyes, the voice is very light, the rhythm is very slow, to the end of the last note, I hold the guitar tightly in one hand, one hand tightly gripped the microphone, a close look at the people will see, my hands shaking like sifting flour, and if it is not blind and deaf people know, I want to express what.
? There is always a time in life to throw down self-esteem to defy the process of love, my bravest, has always been reserved for you.
? You stood still, an expression called embarrassment on your face, while the eyes were more of a certain determination. To make it more obvious, I was just about to open my mouth when I saw you shake your head and beat me to it, "I'm sorry, I can't." With that, you took the beautiful woman next to you and continued to spar as if nothing had happened.
? Six words knocked on my heart, I bowed my head, my throat is like being stuffed with a stone, the bitterness in my throat is hard to stop. Once again, the scene was quiet, and I slammed my guitar down to escape the jeering cheers that followed "together, together, together".
? Lin Xi leaned on the back door, smoking a cigarette, he said: "Li, he will not love you, he has a girlfriend, they are together for more than ten years, love each other, Jiayi will receive her for him to do every recipe, pain in the heart of her stay up all night, control her food and drink, sleep, than his life is more important. I know him, you can never compare to Xu Ruqian. A Li, I like you, you say which point I am not as good as him?"
? This is the first time I heard her name, only I don't want to hear it anymore, I told him not to say any more, and sadly said to, "Lindsay, just as I can't compare to Xu Ruqian, you can't compare to Xu Jiayi, Lindsay, I'm sorry."
? Passing the street that barbecue store when I was choked to tears, my life for the first time the frustration comes from you, I know I held back no tears because my self-esteem does not allow.
? A long time later, I and Axi in the snowy c city square, to see that sitting in a wheelchair seller singing, in the crowded crowd I was knocked down by a person, fell in the snow, I turned back to see a back, very familiar, but I can not remember how to like who. Until I heard the singer sing: "You have been in my heart, ah I finally lost you, in the crowd" I stood in the crowd, the tear ducts like out of control, let the tears fall like rain.
? I'm not sure what I'm talking about, but I'm not sure what I'm talking about, and I'm not sure what I'm talking about.
? After the college entrance examination, I got into the school where you are, joined the guitar club where you stayed before, and mingled with the friends, and I also know that you have applied to study abroad, as early as a month before I came, flew to the other side of the world, and they praised you for being the only one in the school to get the qualification to study abroad, and they liked the songs you sang in your spare time, and missed your thin figure.
? I, however, wondered if, between us, we were really not meant to be.
? Axi will occasionally show me the gossip that she picked up from the schoolmates, I saw you and Xu Ruqian sitting side by side in the group photo of their party, smiling brightly, but I was hiding alone to grieve alone.
? I have been in college for a few years, ordinary, occasionally with the community to go to the public performance, each one is so successful.
? The year of my junior year I was surprised to see you in the last row on the stage of a public performance three years apart.
? You waved to me, I took my calloused hand and shook your hand, the excitement had long since washed away the sadness you felt when you rejected me that year. You smiled and said, "You've grown up, Ali."
? I wanted to cry for a moment, but I just pretended to be happy and sniffled, accepting your invitation to a big dinner.
? I ordered a bunch of snacks to eat wildly, and you just ordered a cup of coffee to drink lightly, I eat and ask you how you are doing abroad, you just smile and do not say anything.
? You don't have much change, just face hangs not accord with your age of tiredness, you said this time back to school just to do some previous unfinished formalities, the time is very short.
? You said over there, eating habits really can not say change to change, just go to the time is not accustomed to, but these are nothing, the important thing is that the professional knowledge over there than we are here to be a little bit better, beauty and handsome a little bit more. You said, you majored in pop music there, R&B or blues or country music are your favorite.
? "You know what? Street performers in the United States are more powerful than me as a professional student, just a handful of rap can turn the whole scene, especially black people, that kind of melody on the fly is a really talented, sometimes inspiration really need to be prompted by life ......"
? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world, and you'll be able to do it in a way that's easy for you to understand.
? I still didn't say anything when we parted, I was afraid that once I opened my mouth, we would be estranged from each other again, until your familiar back disappeared in front of my eyes when I reacted to it, this is not a dream.
? When I went to chase you, you have already taken the last train, and went away.
? When we parted, you said, "Ali, at that time, I'm really sorry."
? I'll see you soon.
? After the picture, may be driving on the road will think I am a crazy person, learn the movie literary to death chasing after the bus you sit for a long time, my crazy only this time, for you. Finally I ran out of strength, squatting on the side of the road secretly crying for a long time, I do not want you to go, I have a lot of words did not say to you.
? It really doesn't matter before, I just want you to be good, nothing else matters.
? But, Xu Jiayi, you left me how to do?
? And once we say goodbye, it is a lifetime, never seen each other again.
[6]
? On the way home, Lindsey suddenly appeared in front of me when my thoughts are still drifting in Mars did not come back, Ash fried me a chestnut I only came back to God, at the moment he stood in front of me and said, long time no see. I stupidly looked at him dumbfounded, and then I realized that he and Ahi is a partnership.
? This world is really small, round and round a big circle or circled back. Lindsay's change is not small, at that time, the petty bar full of arrogance, and now face, in addition to the traces of age, are mature and stable breath.
? Ash was more excited than me, smiling to meet him, "Long time no see boss." This scene made me froze, I awkwardly extended my hand, long time no see. I watched him smile with a lighthearted look, and when I saw Xu Ruqian behind him, the smile froze on my face, and Ash bumped me with his elbow before coming back to his senses.
? Lindsey looked at me and awkwardly introduced us, "Oh, this is Ruqian, my girlfriend."
? I froze, smiled and shook hands with her, her appearance as back then nothing has changed, the expression is also back then in your arms when the look. I stayed in the past has been back but not thoughts, how she became Lindsey's female friends have, that, you?
? Many years have passed, I found that in addition to things about you, other things are not a big deal, even if the sky is big thing I can also be light.
? Later at the dinner table, Lindsay told me, she Xu Ruqian, is Xu Jiayi half-sibling, when he lied to me.
? I really stupid, Xu Jiayi, Xu Ruqian, the story is too bloody and the world is too small.
? Lin Xi smoking a cigarette, firm eyes drifted out the window, he suddenly opened his mouth: "At that time is really too young, impulsive thinking to get it, but do not know the ending is so heartbreaking."
? I lowered my head to drink tea, listening to him say: "You know, at that time I really like you, Jia also he knows, I should have told you then, he likes you no less than me, he knows that I am obsessed with you, so willing to reject you ...... Yes, I do not as good as him, I admit, so I lied to you Ruqian Is his girlfriend, said you ...... can't compare to her, indeed is my fault ah."
? I shook my head, the past with the wind, the past too long to pursue things in the end is too pointless. Only repressed in my heart for too long, nose sore just.
? "A long time ago I was thinking, Jiayi that wooden man will like what kind of girl." Xu Ruqian propped up his face watery looking at me, "I remember he always told me during that time that it was so lucky to meet a girl he fell in love with at first sight, he felt as if he had spent all his luck."
? I lowered my head, Xu Ruqian's words had finally touched me, and suddenly the vision in front of me was getting blurry. Sometimes I really believe in their mouth predestination, but I really do not want to accept this predestination, I want to change, but found that everyone dominates their own, how I try to change the decision of others can not change the rest of their own walk through alone. Maybe this is the reason why I can't learn to be calm.
? "Is he ...... okay?" I asked.
? Lindsey struggled to lower his head, Xu Ruqian eyes slightly red, she looked at me gently opened: "Two years ago, he went to the desert trip, met a sandstorm ...... disappeared, the family searched for two years so far, have not found ...... "
? I cover my mouth, tears fall in big, big, big, impossible! How can it be ...... you are Xu Jiayi ah! We said goodbye!
? I do not know how Axi dragged me back, I hugged the letter all the way to tears, snot and tears stained envelope.
? I just remembered, that day, we really was the last time we saw each other, I remembered that I told you that I love the desert, love its vastness, I said that one day I must go there to adventure, that was my greatest and greatest ideal at that time. You, on the other hand, buried the most beautiful years there, I suddenly had an impulse that I wanted to go to you, but Ash called me crazy.
? Back home, I opened the letter you gave me, my tears even more can not stop. Inside, you went to the desert when you bought postcards and your own photos, you every place will collect a postcard to take a lot of photos, you carefully staple them up, I went crazy to look for those postcards, hoping to see you leave me a word, but I saw only the postcards printed on the scenic line, and the empty message line.
? I sorted through the postcards and picked up the envelope only to find that a memory card had fallen out of it, I plugged it into my computer and there was only one mp3 in it, I clicked on it and your low voice came through the speakers:
"Maybe you didn't think that my heart would hurt
? If this is a dream
? I'd be too drunk to wake up
? I've been patient, I've waited so long
? Maybe waiting for you to come
? ......
? Oops Cinderella
? My Cinderella ......
? You said, "Ali, I've been chasing my dreams alone all my life until I met you one day, and I knew I'd never be alone again. If God gives me another chance, I am willing to be your Jose.
? When I heard this, I was sobbing uncontrollably.
? Xu Jiayi, I think, no matter how many years time wasted us, you are still you, you are not alone, at least you still have me, is not it? I think that if the heavens give me a little more time at that time, even if it's just for a song, I will prove to you that I really love you. If the origami airplane can take me to fly to your side, I can take the faith, accompany you to see the world of thousands of changes.