The first type: the first two years after marriage, this period is called running-in period.
This period is a comparison between pre-marriage and post-marriage. Many newlyweds are actually very young when it comes to contradictions. What husband doesn't like washing feet? The quilt stinks. The wife is in charge of the land, like a tigress. Their feeling is that he did it on purpose, but he just stopped loving. He doesn't care and can't change it.
Therefore, many people are prone to anxiety during this period and are afraid to spend their lives with such people. What can they do? Then I regret choosing the wrong person. It might be better to change someone else. Or, if I had been with my ex or that person, I might have been fine. These ideas can't help you get used to it, they can only further destroy your relationship.
To get through this, you must have a correct understanding of marriage, that is, marriage is full of shortcomings. If you can't accept a person's bad, you can't enjoy his good. Without this knowledge, everyone's life will be very bad.
The second hurdle: before and after pregnancy, we call it the acceptance period.
The test of this period is the integration of two families. At this time, in addition to children, grandparents and grandparents may all participate in your life.
Family relations will become much more complicated in this period. Before, you just had to care about each other. If there is a contradiction, two people will quarrel or hug. But now there are a few more people at once. When we quarrel, whoever goes and who doesn't will intensify contradictions.
Let alone take care of the children. If you want this and he wants that, then at this time, you will feel that I am out of place. This home is not mine. I feel like I have to carry everything by myself. Even many novice mothers will say, how did I have such a child?
Then if you want to get over this hurdle at this time, you must establish a correct family order. No matter whose home you are in, husband and wife should put each other first. Only in this way can you get through this together.
The third hurdle: before children go to college, this is called a stable period.
This period tests your business wisdom. After the children go to school, the life of the whole family begins to revolve around the children's school holidays. When the children's time is fixed, what they can do is fixed. Then your life will start step by step, and it is difficult to innovate.
In addition, the two people began to get familiar with each other, accepted and gave up hope. He is such a person, he can't change, so it's hard to make waves emotionally. During this period, it is particularly easy for couples to enter a state of cohabitation, which lasts for 365 days repeatedly, as if life can see the end at a glance.
There are also many couples, counting the days day by day. I'll get a divorce when my children finish the college entrance examination. There are still many couples who think this life is too boring. I'm going out to find something interesting to do. Then the way to get through this is to rebuild your intimate relationship. Many couples just know each other, but don't understand, let alone understand, in order to truly make your life harmonious.
The fourth level: children leaving home is called empty nest period.
The test is the couple's ability to be alone. In the meantime, children may have a job and have more time for themselves. Finally, I don't have to work for others all day, and I don't have to put up with it for my children.
I have to work before, so I can let you avoid it. Now you can't get along by looking at each other every day. So at this stage, although some couples are old, they still choose to divorce. Some couples play chess with others every day, and women can only go to the square dance. Anyway, it would be better to find something to do and not stare at each other at home.
However, all these methods can only make you feel empty inside, so at this time, two people must start to rebuild their own mode of getting along and find something that they can play together, and their happiness will be much stronger.
However, if you have established intimate relationship, family order and family rules in the first three stages. The problem of the fourth obstacle does not exist. If there are these four hurdles, it is really the ugliest and saddest day for couples.
Because each period needs different solutions, but the terrible thing is that many people never solve them, but don't solve them.