Last year (20 19), probably in August, I received a phone call from home saying that my grandmother didn't eat much and asked all of us who worked in the city to go back, so our seven brothers and sisters (including cousins) rushed home together. When I got home, I suddenly found that grandma was really much older than before we left home, and she was able to get out of bed when she left, which was quite energetic. She can't even talk. She opened her eyes when she saw us. Each of our children stepped forward to meet her. She nodded and closed her eyes. I felt that she was tired when she opened her eyes, but it was obvious that she was happy when she saw us. In this way, we stayed in grandma's room in turn for 24 hours, and grandma left peacefully on the fourth day.
In August of this year, I received a phone call from home, saying that grandpa couldn't eat any more. Let's hurry back. When we came back, grandpa couldn't get out of bed or eat, but he was in good spirits and could still talk. He said he was dying and wanted to see us, so he called us all back. Grandpa used to be sick and hurt in many places. We have to help him turn over every once in a while. We are also 24 years old. One morning more than 40 days later, grandpa left, too. Grandpa hasn't eaten for more than ten days. He can drink some glucose for the first ten days, and then he can only drink water. The doctor has arranged the funeral, but I didn't expect grandpa to last so long, and he still couldn't drop water after four or five days of death.
In my life, I have experienced the death of two old people. I'll tell you why children must be with old people. Many old people feel scared before they die. For example, when my grandfather can talk, he always says that he is afraid that people can't leave the room. When he opens his eyes, he will see if we are in the room. When we are with them, they may feel relaxed.
As children, it is also the last filial duty to stay with the elderly before they leave, especially in rural areas, where many children go out to work and rarely take care of their parents. In the final stage of parents, children should put everything down and go home to accompany them, so that they will feel better and feel at ease, and will not leave too many regrets for their children.
On the eve of the old man's death, people have different opinions about whether their children and grandchildren are in the body. Being around children and grandchildren means that the elderly die well and end up well, and the perineum is beneficial to children and grandchildren; If you die in the arms of your children and grandchildren, it means that your children and grandchildren will be filial and blessed in the future. This is also one of the witnesses that the younger generation will finally repay their great kindness.
If the children and grandchildren are not around when the old man dies, the story will be different: it is not that the old man is not blessed, humble, and has a bad head, which is close to "dying badly", or that the children and grandchildren are disobedient and unfilial, unable to pick up and lack successors. Moreover, the soul and the body are separated, which will bring great trouble to the family if left unattended.
The above is mainly about folk customs. There are all kinds of sayings in our rural areas, so we dare not ignore them.
In addition, from the reality, most old people have to explain their own affairs to young people before they die. If some of their children and grandchildren are not around, they can't explain, don't worry, and even die unsatisfied. Besides, the children are not around, and the aftermath is not easy to handle; If you don't see the old man for the last time, you will leave a lifelong regret.
My parents are going to die forever. Shouldn't my children take the last trip? There may be another possibility, that is, mom and dad may always have a reason to hide some money or ancestral treasures, without which they would not have a share. (This is a joke)
Don't tell me, it's really possible. Not only in rural areas, but also in cities. My wife's grandfather 1985 died in Shanghai. At that time, the old woman had been on vacation for half a month and was making progress, so she didn't go back to attend the funeral.
As a result, the old man really hid "private goods" and gave each of his two sons a share (it is said that it is the stock of Citibank in Hong Kong), but the old father-in-law did not have any.
Once I asked my wife's little brother face to face, and he sighed: I am really nearsighted! At that time, I found someone in Hong Kong to change more than 9,000 Hong Kong dollars. If you put it aside now, it will be worth an old nose.
Of course, this is a bit beside the point. In fact, it is human nature not only in the countryside, but also everywhere. After all, father (mother) and son (daughter) are together. From then on, yin and yang separated and never met. Can the child not come to this final farewell?
What could be more important than this? Even if you are far away from Wan Li, I believe that as long as you are born as a human being, you will definitely come back after thousands of turns!
The crying here is earth-shattering, and the crying of my daughter scratching the ground should really come from the heart!
At present, some young people in rural areas work outside the home all the year round, putting their lives first, and feel that their family's feelings are just like that, as long as they live well. They don't know or understand the old customs in the countryside.
Just like some rural people think that all the old people in the family have died, why do children who have to go out have to go back to their hometown? Going home not only delays work and study, but also wastes money. Can't you go back?
If the elderly at home are dying and their children are not around, it is really impossible. The reasons are as follows: First of all, from the perspective of human relations, parents have the grace to raise us. Without parents, we wouldn't exist. Before the old man dies, the children have an obligation to send him the last journey. If even his parents can't die for him before he leaves, then this person's moral level should be problematic and ungrateful.
Except, of course, in special circumstances. This special situation generally means that in wartime, or you are engaged in a very important thing, you cannot die for your parents. It is understandable for your family and relatives at home that you can't go back at this time.
However, although it can be forgiven by family members, as long as there are no moral problems, people will think that they did not die for their parents in the future, which is the biggest regret in this life. Therefore, whether to be filial to the elderly or to leave no regrets for yourself, the old man in the countryside has passed away. As a child, you must be there to see him off when you leave.
There is a saying in the countryside that if the old man can't close his eyes when he leaves, there must be something that can't be put down, or he hasn't met the person he wants to see. If the old man walks away in such a mood, his eyes won't close. This is called dying unsatisfied.
Although this statement has been confirmed in modern medicine, people who don't close their eyes after death are caused by their own physical condition, not because they don't want to leave.
But the problem is that people in rural areas believe in this, for example, our village has this custom.
Whenever the old man is unconscious, unable to speak or eat or drink, his children and grandchildren will surround him alone. Then everyone squatted beside the old man in turn, holding his hand and touching his face, whispering in his ear: XXX, I am a dog, your little son and so on.
The reason for doing this is to let the old people know that everyone at home is here, so that the old people don't have to worry anymore and can go with peace of mind. Many times, old people will close their eyes when they confirm that their children and grandchildren have arrived, and they may be out of breath after a while.
Funeral can be held after the old man leaves, but who will hold it for the old man if his children are not there? If there are many children and many girls, there will be other brothers and sisters in charge. What if they are only children? Therefore, as children, you must be present when the old man leaves.
Conclusion: In traditional culture, paying attention to all virtues and filial piety first, and parents raising their children does not mean that they must expect their children to return in the future. Some rural areas have poor economic ability and are unable to support the families of the elderly. The elderly do not bury or complain, dragging their elderly bodies to work in the fields to reduce the burden for their children. As a person without moral problems, there is no need to bargain and ask why you want to die for your parents.
Moreover, the elderly can leave whenever they want, and even want to see their children again when they want to leave. In traditional culture, the dead are the most important, not to mention their parents. Can't the old people satisfy their wishes? Finally, many years later, will you fall into deep remorse for not giving your parents a last visit?
Whether the subject does not eat human fireworks has actually raised such a question.
Birth, illness, death and illness are major events in the world. There is a saying in the countryside that death is great, which means that no matter what happens, it is not as great as death.
In the old tradition of China, there is a saying that raising children to prevent old age. People reproduce, care carefully, feed patiently, raise adults, let them make a difference, and create wealth for society. When the older generation is old, they will die of old age. People struggle all their lives, have savings, and die when they are old. The next generation will inherit the legacy of the older generation. When a man is dying, his next agent should be in front of him, called filial piety. This is human nature. If your elders gave birth to you and raised you, your parents died and the lights went out, the children would not stand up and let them die, which would be different from animals. Moreover, although animals do not have profound thoughts, they will be sympathetic if they encounter the death of their own kind. If parents are dying and children don't move forward, it's really worse than animals.
Of course, as human beings, everyone has a responsibility. Since ancient times, loyalty and filial piety can't be satisfactory. If parents are dying and their children really shoulder the heavy responsibility of the country, then they really can't leave, but they can't be filial to their parents, that's another matter.
Under normal circumstances, parents are dying, which is also the duty of filial piety. Children must stay in front of their parents' beds, which is true in rural areas and cities.
In fact, whether in rural or urban areas, it is necessary for children to be around before the death of the elderly. Aside from some metaphysical things circulating in rural areas, as the saying goes, "filial piety comes first", and it is also a manifestation of filial piety when parents die and children are around. Man is a perceptual animal. Do you need to say more about this basic human nature?
Moreover, before the old man dies, most of them have to explain something to their children. Regardless of the size of the matter, it is considered that the old man died without regret, which is also a manifestation of "a good death."
In addition, there is a custom in the countryside. A person's life begins and ends. In the past, the old people didn't have much desire, but they longed for a room full of children and grandchildren to continue the family incense. Before the death of the old man, children and grandchildren are around, which is also a farewell and witness for the elders. The old generation dies and the young generation continues, which is what most old people want to see. This is also a kind of "happy ending". In rural areas, no matter how old the elderly are, if they have no children around them, they are often gossiped by villagers.
Therefore, no matter how far away the children are from home, it is a responsibility and a responsibility for the old man to come back before his death. Of course, in a special period, children defend their country, drift from place to place, and can't return to the old man's side, that's another story.
However, here, A Bing still reminds everyone, don't wait for the old man to leave before you feel that you were not in place when you were a child. Be filial when the old man is still alive, and don't wait until the old man leaves to regret it. Otherwise, after the death of the old man, it is futile for you to spend more money to hold a big funeral for the old man.
(Text | Li Abing)
In fact, it is not a rural patent to keep children around when the old man is dying. Isn't the city the same? It's just whether the child can get to the side. Conditions in rural areas are different from those in cities. When the old people in rural areas die, there are more old people around them than in cities. This is mainly because in traditional rural areas, people all live in Xiaotian Village, and their children are close to the elderly, so it is convenient to take care of them and they have a better chance to stay with them when they die. The city is relatively large, and Otawa's parents don't live together, so there are fewer opportunities for the old man to stay with him after his death.
There is an old saying in China, which is called "providing for the aged and sending the dead". In other words, children should provide the necessities for the elderly in their later years, ensure that the elderly have no worries in their later years, accompany and take care of the elderly when they die, and take care of the elderly's affairs after they die. This is the embodiment of traditional filial piety culture in China.
In the traditional filial piety culture of China, when the old man is dying, his children and grandchildren should accompany him, listen to the old man's last teachings and send him the last journey. The old man is seriously ill and knows that time is not far away, and his children will return to him no matter how far away.
Stay in front of the bed and watch day and night. Parents, even on their deathbed, will care about every child. Therefore, children can be around for the elderly to take a last look, and the elderly can also close their eyes with peace of mind and leave no regrets. What's more, when the old man dies, he is often exposed and his consciousness is very clear. He will explain things in front of all children, such as how to inherit and dispose of property, requirements for children and so on. It is naturally a sign of filial piety for children to stay with them, listen to the old man's last instructions and accompany him through the last journey.
Everyone is born to die. He was born with a baby, and when he went, someone died. This is the perfection of life. When a person dies, all the children around him will die. First, it seems that the old man has a perfect merit and is respected by his children. Second, it also shows that the elderly are full of children and grandchildren, and there are successors; The third is to show family unity and harmony, which indicates that people will prosper in the future. If no children die for them, it means that there are no successors, indicating that the elderly are not good to their children, their children are unfilial, their family style is unhealthy, and their families have no hope.
People are afraid of death. The shorter they die, the stronger their desire. If these wishes are not satisfied, then the dead can't close their eyes and their souls can't rest in peace. This is what we often say: "die unsatisfied." The ancients believed that among the six divisions of the Karma Wheel, there were still souls or ghosts after death. If there is no death and sacrifice of children, ghosts will gradually disappear without the supply of incense, and eventually "souls will disappear."
China paid special attention to the inheritance of future generations in ancient times, believing that "there are three kinds of unfilial, and no posterity is great"! Without the death of relatives, there is no perfect life. Before his death, his descendants were surrounded by people. After his death, it is everyone's wish that the dutiful sons get together and enjoy the scenery. China has always regarded death as life. If he dies without children, it can only be said that he has no children or daughters, or that his children have died long ago, or that his own character is too poor for his children to find a door, which is naturally unacceptable to anyone.
Therefore, when the old man dies and his children pay homage around him, whether in the city or the countryside, it is the most perfect end of life. However, now that the old people in the countryside have passed away, their children may not be able to walk around. Because the lifestyle of modern people has changed a lot, rural children are also making a living everywhere, no longer limited to the land in the village, some went to the city, and some went abroad. It's normal that they didn't catch up with each other when their parents died. As long as the old man has done his filial piety before his death, there is no need to blame himself too much. As an old man, we all hope that our children will be successful, and it is good that their children will be promising. If they die, they will never come back, and there will be no regrets. Life is like a lamp going out. We have been here all the time, and we live happily, which is enough.
Why do children have to be around when the rural elderly are dying? Because the old man will say goodbye to his children for the last time when he dies, he will die with his eyes closed. This also shows that he was worried about his children when he died. He can go with peace of mind as long as the children are around.
Tell a true story. An 80-year-old man had a reluctant expression on his pale face before he died. He was sober. He saw several children around him, except his little daughter. The old man kept calling his little daughter's name in a weak voice, and a few tears welled up in his sunken eyes.
Several children are anxious to see their old father and their little sister for the last time, because their little sister has been missing for many years and there is no news. How to satisfy their father's last wish, they had to ask all their relatives and friends for help and look for the whereabouts of their little sister through the internet, but in the end there was no clue.
The old man missed his daughter and was dying, but miraculously persisted for several hours, showing that his father loved him like a mountain. He spent his last life waiting for his daughter's arrival, but death had called, and he couldn't wait, and finally closed his eyes.
As a son, it is an unshirkable responsibility to provide for his parents. No matter how far you go, no matter how busy you are at work, you must come back to your side before the old man dies. This is not only filial piety, but also the final farewell. If you miss this opportunity, you will never see the closest person in the world.
There are also wandering wanderers. Before their parents died, they would feel guilty for the rest of their lives if they could not return to their side on time to see each other for the last time. It is difficult to repay the kindness of parents. Parents have been breaking their hearts for their children all their lives. How much did the child pay for his parents?
The last company, when I die, I hope my children can accompany him to the last moment. If I don't have them, I think you will regret it, too. It's a pity that I couldn't accompany my father to the end because I didn't see him for the last time. Because there was no mobile phone at that time, I went to call my aunt, which is very regrettable.
Why do children have to be around when the rural elderly are dying? Our hometown is like this on this issue. Because the old man has worked hard all his life, his children must see him for the last time when he dies. If they have anything to see, they can't explain it to the younger generation. In addition, there is a saying in rural areas that filial piety comes first. It is understandable that they can't take care of the elderly when they are dead. Hard to say! However, some of them are in the army and some of them can't go home because they are doing business abroad. There's nothing to say about this. After all, loyalty to the country is the greatest filial piety to the elderly!