The process of a person's growth, is in the adolescent period of secondary school students is to grow knowledge, seek advancement. This stage of the psychological characteristics of the demand for understanding, the demand to get rid of the domination and seek personality independence. In learning and life, there are joy, there are distress, success and failure, struggle and conflict. They need to talk to, need to understand, need to help. The desire to seek friendship becomes a natural phenomenon. And itself has stepped into adolescence, with the awakening of sexual awareness, due to the influence of traditional thinking, the different *** to be regarded as a "mysterious" topic, in fact, healthy interactions between men and women, on the future growth and development of secondary school students have an important impact.
From the physiological, psychological, social and personal development point of view, there is a positive significance:
1. Positive factors of normal hetero *** interaction of secondary school students
Secondary school students will generally show a unique emotional experience, that is, the desire for the opposite sex.
① Intellectual complementarity.
It is true that men and women are different. In addition to the huge physiological differences, such as personality and temperament, men are strong, resolute, open-minded, rough, bold and fierce, stormy, etc., women are dignified, quiet, gentle; emotionally rich and delicate, experience sensitive, easy to sympathize with people, etc.
Men and women have the same feelings as men, but they are not the same.
The male is careless, decisive, independent, bold and decisive, etc. The female is dignified, quiet and gentle; rich and delicate in emotion, sensitive in experience, easy to sympathize, etc.
Women are attentive, quick, patient, suggestible, lacking in resolution, etc.
Therefore, men and women can complement each other's strengths and improve each other. For example, women are good at concrete image thinking, men are better at logical thinking.
② happy mood, mutual incentive to move forward.
Secondary school students hetero *** interaction with the opposite sex to produce mystery, curiosity, yearning psychological feelings, at the same time, also naturally produce close to the opposite sex of the psychological tendency, so to meet this psychological, will enable people to increase the enjoyable, easy, beautiful, harmonious relationship, so that men and women are refreshed, feel stirring the heart of the pleasure, so as to stimulate the intrinsic positivity and creativity.
③ Cultivation and development of character.
In life, both with the same ***, and with different ***, the character of the person will be open and cheerful, emotional experience is richer, personal will is stronger. The interaction objects will have individual differences, so we should take the strengths and make up for the weaknesses, so as to develop ourselves and improve ourselves.
④ Enhancement of sexual mental health and the ability to deal with marital problems in the future.
Male and female students can meet the psychological needs of adolescents and achieve psychosexual balance. In the normal interaction in the accumulation of different *** experience, for the future into the marriage period to lay the foundation, can better distinguish between friendship and love, more secure grasp of their own emotions, so serious, serious, responsible choice of spouse, the creation of a happy marriage.
2, frankly face the different *** past.
High school students in the process of learning, life, produce close and adore the opposite sex of the psychological needs is very natural and normal, that is, the opposite sex of the adoration period.
Different *** past easy to fall into the misunderstanding:
① from the simple, exposed emotions to implicit and introverted feelings.
② From the harmonious hetero *** relationship to sensitive, suspicious, subtle "illusion of being loved".
③ From direct verbal communication to letters or language and expression hints.
The above makes a lot of secondary school students in a secret love, so the contradiction between the adoration of the opposite sex classmates and helpless self-restraint will inevitably lead to a strong sense of self-blame in the secret love, and even guilt, and further to the normal hetero *** to a layer of mystery veil.
Teenagers in the hetero *** dealings, strive to do:
First of all, to correct the attitude, to cultivate a healthy sense of interaction, lighten the awareness of each other's gender. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Secondly, we should have a wide range of contacts, avoid individual contacts, and the degree of interaction should be shallow rather than deep. A wide range of contacts, conducive to our understanding, better understanding of the opposite sex, the overall grasp of the opposite sex, and learn to identify the opposite sex.
Third, the relationship should be sparse and not far away, if that is, to grasp the psychological distance of the two interactions, exclude each other feel too close and cause emotional fluctuations in contact.
Fourth, to grasp the "natural" and "moderate" two principles.
The so-called "natural" - in the process of interacting with the opposite ***, speech, expression, demeanor, emotional flow, as well as thoughts to do a natural smooth, neither blind impulse, nor tenderness.
The so-called "moderation" - refers to the degree and manner of interaction with foreign *** should be appropriate, should be accepted by most people.
The code of conduct for hetero *** interactions: the interaction between men and women, mutual respect, a clear sense of responsibility, which is the basic norms of morality, but also young boys and girls to follow the code of conduct.
3, adolescent men and women to correctly understand: men and women are different.
In high school, how to train themselves to adapt to the social requirements of gender roles? How to view the status and role in society?
① Discover women's own advantages.
Advantages: strong language skills, women have the advantage of communication skills, stronger management skills; women are more meticulous than men, do better in compliance, etc..
Note to women: change the dependency mentality, petulance mentality, self-esteem, self-love, constantly improve and enrich themselves, to find their own appropriate position in society.
② correctly recognize the social status of men.
Advantages: often the head of the family, dominant in society; a certain aspect of privilege; a wider range of interactions, take on more responsibility, psychological pressure.
Note to men: to overcome the "machismo", do not force men to do what women must be able to do, career-minded, sense of responsibility, considerate of others, and do the strongest in life.
③ Cultivate a strong and flexible personality.
The flexible personality is not to ask women to "masculinize", nor is it to ask men to "feminize", but to emphasize the "flexibility" and "integration". Rather, it emphasizes "resilience" and "integrality". Instead, it emphasizes "resilience" and "integration", which means that both men and women should have the same qualities.
This awareness is fostered from an early age to build equal relationships between the sexes. A healthy personality such as independence, motivation, responsibility, love and willingness to pay for the family.
4, too early to fall into the "early love".
The so-called "early love" mainly refers to students (high school and junior high school students), in the absence of any psychological and ideological preparation and the ability to accept love, they received from the opposite sex of the love of information.
This is a normal emotional and psychological need of adolescent middle school students in the process of growth.
The secondary school stage is the growth of secondary school students, the most critical period of knowledge, coupled with the physiological maturity and psychological immaturity of the development of asynchrony, brought about by the different *** to each other and fall in love with a variety of confusions brought about by the time, so that they feel, nothing from, not from, do not know what to do, and no time, no energy, no space, no material basis, no guarantee of future development, etc., so that the acceptance and rejection of love is not a normal emotional and psychological needs of adolescent students. So middle school students do not have the ability to accept and reject love.
Nowadays, the phenomenon of love among secondary school students has become a common phenomenon, according to the survey statistics, China's secondary school students in the middle school stage of the phenomenon of love accounted for more than 30% of the total number of high school students as high as more than 60% of the basis and background is not complicated.
First of all, a series of changes in the body during puberty, the psychological emergence of the desire to go with the opposite *** needs, coupled with popular culture, because of the opportunity to flood the thinking of the imagination space, many students have a great impact.
Secondly, puberty, self-restraint, the ability to identify right and wrong is relatively weak, coupled with parents unreasonable upbringing, as well as the traditional ideological constraints, it is difficult to find their own value, the family, the school disappointment, the sense of loss to enhance the decline in the sense of aggressiveness, increase the opposite sex of the eyes of the input. In addition, comparison and vanity are also factors that cause early love.
Again, parents can not correctly treat the opposite *** 往，不经调查怀疑，以单纯的，粗暴的行为加以制止，造成孩子的逆反心心，加剧孩子追求异性同学的速度。
Finally, teenagers are under too much pressure to go to school, the idea of emptiness, do not know what to do, the mutual comfort of students, produce the same feeling, that "the world only you can understand me", and fall into the love net, can not be extricated!
How can we avoid the phenomenon of love?
First of all, check your own consciousness and attitude towards the opposite sex, not because of the family, the school to give their own "warmth" is less, and go to the so-called comfort, so that they make up for this, and then tasted the sweetness of the "love", the self-perception of good, like to show off their own, to go to the "love", and so on, and so on. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots.
Under the guidance of parents and teachers, the moral values of self-esteem and self-love are established. The parents and teachers actively listen to the advice, correctly carry out the opposite *** interaction, to avoid the occurrence of early love.
If there is an impulse or a different feeling towards the opposite sex and many different sex, you should remind yourself to pay attention, control the impulse, cultivate your own healthy personality, correct the concept of sexuality and criticize the idea of "sexual liberation", and in line with the attitude of being responsible for myself and the other party, and careful interaction.
It should be understood that love is not a simple male and female love. It is the highest order of human beings, the most beautiful, the most sacred, the most pure a kind of emotion. It needs to be loved by both sides to selfless dedication and a high sense of responsibility to cultivate it. It is a serious and responsible choice made by mature (including physiological, psychological and ideological) men and women, and it is difficult to enjoy the sweetness of love without a sense of responsibility to society and others and a certain economic foundation
How teenage females should correctly treat sexual awarenessTeenagers should not let their thoughts be overly focused on sexual issues, which may affect their normal studies and work, but should not excessively reproach themselves and repress them either. To avoid anxiety, depression and other adverse psychological emotions.
Adolescent development period of male and female adolescents due to sexual maturity have sexual impulses, which is normal. In adolescence, men and women, in the different *** interaction, no one can not completely from the sexual instinct of the impulse to free.
Adolescents' sexual consciousness is in a state of hazy awakening, in the male and female sexual impulses, the hormones released by the endocrine system, such as androgens in boys and estrogens in girls, will induce the birth of *** to promote the release of sexual impulses, which is the physiological factors in the body, it is not to the transfer of the subjective will of the people.
In our country, adolescents have a tendency to sexual maturity in advance, so it is necessary to learn to use scientific methods to regulate and reduce sexual impulses. Can start from the physiological, psychological aspects:
Physiological aspects:
(1) consciously and strictly abide by the system of work and rest: pay special attention to go to bed on time, get up on time, before going to bed to avoid excessive excitement, don't think in bed, wake up in the morning, get up on time, which reduces the teenage sex *** and control *** hope to play a certain positive role.
(2) pay attention to genital cleanliness and hygiene: usually pay attention to cleaning the genitals, such as: male circumcision cleaning, female menstruation cleaning, in order to avoid genital dirt deposition produces inflammation and *** effect.
(3) Sleeping position should be comfortable: the best position is to lie on the side, the lower limbs are slightly bent, all parts of the muscle relaxation, it is best to lie on the right side, as far as possible, do not lie on the back and lie on the floor, in order to reduce the pressure and friction of the external genitals, is beneficial to the control of sexual excitement and impulses.
(4) *** to loose, not too tight too small, so as not to produce friction on the genitals ***.
(5) The bedding should not be too warm and heavy; the water temperature should not be too high when bathing, and the dinner should not be too full.
(6) Participate in more useful cultural and sports activities, so that the abundant energy can be released.
Psychological aspects:
*** The generation of human consciousness is governed and controlled by the human consciousness, is the result of the human higher-order neural activities, rather than by the instinctive physiological mechanisms. Therefore, through the necessary learning of sexual health knowledge and the strengthening of their own cultivation, cultivate a good and noble moral sentiment, from the psychological aspect to regulate the transfer, control their own sexual impulse.
(1) Normal with the other *** to deal with. Between young men and women in life, study and work, to natural, frank and normal interaction. To normalize the psychological reaction of young people to the opposite sex has an important significance, young men and women segregated the more strict, for the issue of sex, the more mysterious, the more nervous, the more allergic, and the lack of normal interaction with the opposite sex of the young people, once in contact with the opposite sex, easy to be overly sensitive to sex, and even nonsense.
(2) Maintain the purity of young boys and girls. The purity of young boys and girls is one of the signs of noble character, is extremely precious, in daily life and learning, and the interaction of the opposite sex, we must maintain a cool head, with reason to restrain their feelings, and never take the sublimation of pure friendship as an emotional transfer. Both cherish the friendship, but also cherish the purity of young boys and girls, to cultivate their noble moral character.
(3) Do not go with the vulgarity of the different ***. Some young people are affected by vulgar, low-ranking, nasty ideas, life style is not decent, and contact with such young people, easy to be influenced, and even embarked on the road of crime, so if there is an improper choice of friends should be immediately discontinued interaction.
(4) Avoid sexual advances and ***. Young people should see healthy books, magazines, newspapers, movies, plays, dances, etc., to cultivate youth sentiment, young people do not look at rich sexually provocative things, such as movies full of ***, nude paintings, vulgar dance, etc., these unhealthy, fleshy *** often on the *** of some young people to play the role of teasing, so that these young people can not control their own ***, and thus indulge in the crime on the road.
(5) Cultivate a strong sense of enterprise. Secondary school age is the golden age of learning, in the establishment of the period, should focus on the main energy in the study, concentrate on, and strive to be strong. Only a positive mental state can play a positive role in channeling the *** of teenagers.
(6) Cultivate hobbies and interests. After school, actively participate in cultural and sports activities that are beneficial to physical and mental health, focusing their energy on studying hard, developing their interests and specialties, pursuing progress, transferring and diluting sexual fantasies, and thus diluting their *** hopes.
(7) recognize their rights and responsibilities. After sexual maturity, people have the right to satisfy ***, but at the same time to satisfy *** hope, but also to take responsibility for their own sexual behavior. Otherwise, it may cause harm to themselves, others or the next generation.
How to treat friendship, affection and love correctly?How to treat love . Friendship. Friendship In life, often encounter love. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty. Friendship in life, often encounter love, affection, friendship conflict time, in this time we should how to face it? This is definitely a headache, many people encounter such problems, often choose to escape, can not be brave to face, because even if to face the heart to solve the problem, or can not be as expected, because love. Love. Friendship three are in conflict, in this issue, some people have sent a lot of effort to think about, can not get a good answer, the answer is very difficult to know, to pry out the secret here, even if they personally experienced may not know, so the face of love. So in the face of love. Friendship, we should not go to escape, but brave to face. Only brave to face, will not dare to regret, even if the results make you dare to difficult to decide, should also feel happy, at least they are brave to face, than those who choose to escape, they are good, although this, but the life of these three are not so easy to conflict, I think as long as they are brave to deal with their own in life in love. I think as long as you are brave in life to deal with yourself in love. Friendship in the relationship, should not encounter such a thing, but we must remember that everything should be brave to face. Only to face, only to be worthy of their own, so that they have no regrets. Therefore, we have to understand a reason, encounter anything to be brave to face, as long as the courage to face, even if it is love. Love. Friendship conflict is nothing to worry about. It is important to remember that life often belongs to the brave people.
Friendship, is the relationship between friends, in your difficulties are people who can help you Love is a two-person thing; love is a bridge between you, and you over a generation of people; affection is the relationship between parents, children and other loved ones; parents are the people who raised us, we have to return them,
Friendship, is the relationship between friends, in your difficulties are people who can The people who help you Love is the thing between two people; love is the bridge between you and the people who have been with you for a generation; affection is the relationship between parents, children and other relatives; parents are the people who raised us, we have to pay them back,
Satisfaction please adopt
How to correctly deal with friends?① Take the initiative to communicate; ② Think from the teacher's point of view and position, and think differently; ③ Make explanations to the teacher on the basis of the truthfulness of the facts; ④ Treat criticism as a vaccination station or an emergency room, and do what you have to do to correct the situation; ⑤ Point out the teacher's mistakes in an appropriate way and forgive the teacher's mistakes (tolerance). etc. (Three points are enough.) Today, our teacher just said it should be right
How young people should correctly express patriotic feelingsbuild up self-esteem and self-confidence in their own nation, safeguard national unity, and promote the unity of the motherland. The first step is to learn to master and build the motherland by studying modern science, technology and culture, and to actively participate in social practice activities. Gradually from patriotism to ****productivism / above is the modern youth should do patriotic feelings.
I remember the Journey to the West in which the emperor sent Tang Sheng to the West to fetch the scriptures in a cup of wine into the soil and then said. I would rather miss a grain of soil in my hometown than covet ten thousand taels of gold in other places. So it's the same for us in modern times. A lot of Chinese people who go abroad should also learn to learn.
How parents should correctly deal with their children's questions
Parents need to correctly face and guide to prevent the child from being wrongly treated and frustrated or emotional outbursts.
It is important to accept the child's questions. Children often ask questions that make people laugh and can't be answered, and if parents don't accept their children's questions, just laugh them off, or stop them roughly, the children won't want to ask questions anymore, and this will affect the development of their thinking ability.
Answer as immediately as possible. The idea of "immediate response" is not to tell the child the standard answer to the question, but rather to respond to the question immediately, and through the answer to the question to stimulate the child's thinking about the issue and to promote the development of his ability.
Questions instead of answers. In order to encourage children to develop the habit of using their own brains to think about problems, parents can appropriately ask questions of their children. The question should be inspired, guided, and the difficulty of the question should be appropriate. For example, if the child asks, "Mom, do you think I did the math right?" Instead of answering "yes", it is better to answer "what do you think", which can better motivate the child to think. If your child answers "no", you can ask "why is it wrong". The fact that you can't get the best out of the world is a great way to get the most out of your life," he said.
Read the book with your child. When encountering questions that cannot be answered or are difficult to answer systematically and scientifically, parents should look for books with their children to study, and explain to them in words and phrases that they can understand while reading. This will enable the child to develop the habit of looking up the dictionary and reading books from a young age, and in the future, when they encounter difficult problems, they will know how to find the answers.
Indirect answers. The first thing you need to do is to ask your child how he or she is going to get out of the house and into the house, and how he or she is going to get out of the house. The first thing you need to do is to use a personification method to answer the question indirectly: "At night, the animals go home and sleep, and the sun goes to the other side of the mountains. Such an answer can not only make the child's curiosity to be satisfied, but also promote the development of the child's imagination.
The answer leads to thinking. Some questions, the answer has more than one, if a generalization, simple answer, it is not scientific. For example, in the story of "The Wolf and the Lamb", when the wolf pounced on the lamb, the child asked, "Did you eat the lamb, or did you not eat it? If you simply say "ate" or "didn't eat", the effect is not good. You should utilize these gaps to develop your child's imagination, for example, by asking questions such as: "What would happen if the shepherd came? The clever turtle rushed to what will happen?" Inspire the child to play imagination, their own answer.
How to protect yourself
Study hard to learn the law, protect your legitimate rights and interests, and constantly improve your cultural cultivation to be useful to society.
How to correctly deal with the early love of teenagers
How to correctly deal with the early love
Early love, also called adolescent love, refers to the establishment of a romantic relationship between underage men and women or interest in the opposite sex, infatuation or crush, generally refers to the love that occurs between young people under 18 years of age, especially in the school of primary and secondary school students for the most.
After the survey showed that there are very few people who have not had a relationship in secondary school. And most of them are secretly in love, unrequited love (single thought). Only when there is a mutual good feeling, it can develop into early love.
The act of early love is a teenager in the basis of sexual physiological development, but also the practice of psychological transformation into behavior. However, it is generally believed that early love will bring a lot of problems, such as affecting the physical and mental health of adolescents and academic performance, especially for girls more obvious and prominent, but generally do not have too serious impact. Early love often ends in failure, rarely appear early love can be a lifelong relationship; some people believe that early love is a teenager's exploration of male-female relationships and learning, for the future of love and marriage in preparation, should not be too much prohibition or repression.
Characteristics of early love
From the various situations of early love, early love usually has the following four characteristics:
Misty
Teenagers for the development of early love of the end of the unclear, early love of adolescents is only the desire to contact with the opposite sex alone, and the formation of the future of the family, dealing with the relationship between love and study, the distinction between friendship and love and other issues are lack of clear understanding. All lack a clear understanding.
Paradoxical
Early love is full of contradictions in the heart of teenagers, both want to contact with their favorite opposite sex, but also afraid of being found out by their parents. It can be said that the process of early love is both pleasant and painful. For those who have a crush on an early lover, this ambivalence is also manifested in the contradiction of whether or not to declare love to the admirer (confession).
Variability
Friendships are volatile and unstable because teenagers often lack interpersonal skills and experience, resulting in a lack of mutual trust; relationships are generally not sustainable. It is this that often causes psychological suffering on both sides.
Differences
There are significant differences in the behavior of adolescents who fall in love early. In terms of behavior, they are extremely secretive, passing on their feelings through letters, phone calls or the Internet, and engaging in secret private communication and emotional exchanges that are difficult for parents and teachers to detect, but there are also teenagers who will go public with their relationships, appearing in pairs on many occasions.
In terms of degree, most of the early lovers are still mainly exchanging feelings or playing together; in terms of interpersonal relationships, they generally do not exceed normal friendships, but some of them develop very deep relationships, and in addition to exchanging feelings, sometimes they even have sexual relationships.
In terms of age preference, girls usually prefer boys who are older and more mature than themselves, while boys usually prefer girls younger than themselves and reflect their masculinity in their interactions. Some psychologists believe that girls take the initiative when their ages are equal, but in practice it is more often the boy who takes the initiative. This is now inconclusive.
Types of causes of early love
The types of early love can be summarized into the following eight types:
Amour type
This type of teenagers is due to the phenomenon of mutual adoration for each other and early love. This type of early love is very common, and according to the different reasons for adoration, it can be divided into the following three categories:
Instrumental
This type of early love is due to the adoration of the other party's external appearance, and it is also the most common, but it is most difficult to be sustained and stabilized. There are always handsome boys and pretty girls in school who are highly admired by the opposite sex, which contains this factor.
Specialty
This is the early love due to the adoration of the other side of the ability or specialization of one's own revered. This type of early love is often initiated by the girl.
Character-based
This type of early love is due to the love of the other side of some of their own respected character, which is more durable.
Curiosity
This is the phenomenon of early love due to curiosity about the opposite sex. Sexual awareness of the continuous development of adolescents will be curious about the opposite sex body, life, psychology and attitude towards their own, which is a psychological phenomenon of adolescents. Adolescents are prone to sexual impulses, thus maintaining a sensitive attitude towards the opposite sex, and making friends of the opposite sex in order to satisfy this curiosity.
Imitation
This is the phenomenon of early love due to imitation of behavior in society, film and television works and newspapers and books.
The herd type
This is the phenomenon of early love due to the pressure of the surrounding peers. For example, a relationship that doesn't exist may be fabricated by people around you as a "rumor" or "gossip". In such an environment, forced by the pressure of public opinion, it is easy to have a love for them.
Pleasure type
Adolescent men and women as classmates or even the same table, due to more communication and information transfer, will produce a more detailed and thorough understanding of each other, in this situation is easy to produce early love. This is also an important reason for the "class romance" or even "table romance".
Compensation type
Some teenagers due to setbacks in their studies, is their self-esteem has been damaged, in order to achieve the purpose of venting, often looking for a different *** to go, in which to forget the pain, in order to seek compensation. This kind of early love into the real feelings, easy to develop deeper.
Retrograde
Due to factors of social consciousness and public opinion, teenagers of two *** Usually by parents, teachers, inappropriate intervention, easy to induce its "you do not allow me to do so, I have to do so" mentality. In the role of this reverse psychology, the normal and appropriate hetero *** to the possible rapid development of early love.
Pathological type
In contemporary society, superior nutritional conditions, easily caused by overnutrition and food containing sex hormones, or a variety of special physiological diseases, family genetics and other factors, easy to cause adolescents and young people psychological precociousness, and even sexual perversion of psychology. This is the main objective factor that induces teenagers to fall in love early.
The various types mentioned above are also commonly found in adult relationships, especially those who are in love for the first time and certainly have not experienced early love. Moreover, because adults are more powerful and knowledgeable, some of the same consequences are more severe than for children who fall in love early.
Benefits of early love
There is no denying it: in some cases, there are benefits to early love, and this view is prevalent among students. Some students believe that early love will often catch up with each other in terms of performance, in order to obtain each other's pleasure and favor, so that the grades rise; there are also because of the adoration of a person, from its own good, in all aspects of their lives to discipline themselves to the standards of the loved one as a criterion for life, so that some of the original bad character and habits to be corrected. Early love can also make people exercise their social skills and enhance interpersonal relationships.