Characters: Bao Gong, Chen Shimei, Qin Xianglian.
Costumes: theater costumes! A chair A fan used by Bao Gong!
Gong Bao sits in the lobby, and the drums sound! Duke Pao asks: who beats the drum to call for justice? Bring him here!
Chen on stage: Injustice ah, master -!
Bao: Isn't this Chen Shimei? What is your grievance?
Chen: My wife Qin Xianglian changed her mind! She wants to divorce me, and won't share the family property with me!
Bao: Do you have a petition?
Chen took out a roll of toilet paper from his pocket and handed it over! Bao took over to see!
After reading it, he said, "Wow, wow, wow! I'm so mad at you! Bring Qin Xianglian to the court!
Qin went up to the stage and said, "Greetings to the Grand Master!
Bao: you go to sea business, earned the exam? The first time I saw you, I was in the middle of the night. The rate of viciousness of the rotten rout? The first thing I want to do is to get the money to pay for the work, and I want to pay for the work. The first post of the first Xinchu?
Qin: Master! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I went to the sea to earn a family fortune, he did not help me still outside the hook three!
Bao: Chen Shimei, is this true?
Chen: Master, the man is not bad, a little perverted, the man is not tart, is a straw bag. Men are not philandering, definitely have nerves, men are not hooligans, development is not normal. To say a few words, do a man really tired, as if born guilty, can not be afraid to do things tired, pick up girls of course, still have to give tips, sweet words every day to die back. Monthly paychecks have to be turned in, do not expect a return, what is wrong is their own wrong. Hey! Being a man is really tiring! I'm just trying to relax myself! Just like you, Master, you're so tired of being in charge of everything every day! But in your emotional world is blank, I am anxious for you ah!
Packaging crying: 55555 old man also feel the same way!
Chen: Master, you don't worry, as they say, know your soulmate, very few, do not worry about the road ahead without a close friend, the world who does not know the king .
Bao: But the person I love has a master in name only, and the person who loves me miserably, either in debauchery to become bad, or in silence to pervert . Of course the old man has not yet perverted.
Chen: Master, you have to think in another way: broken pots only broken pot cover monk only nuns love as long as the love is as deep as the sea hemp face shine
Bao: also. This is worth the old man to consider! No, now the worship of idols is practiced, I have to maintain the image of ah, how can I be confused with people like you!
Qin: Master, you do not listen to him, he himself did not do very honorable!
Bao: Oh? How dishonorable!
Qin: He didn't even follow the Four Grass Laws!
Bao: What's the Four Laws of the Grass?
Qin broke his fingers: rabbits do not refuse the grass around the nest, a good horse does not return to the grass, the old ox is fashionable to eat young grass, the end of the world where there is no grass!
Bao: this is a bit interesting, rabbits do not eat the grass on the edge of the nest how?
Qin: He even my nanny Xianglin sister-in-law did not spare!
Package: What's the matter with the good horse that doesn't come back to the grass?
Qin: He and his first love Aqing sister-in-law are still in contact! The most annoying thing is that the old ox is fashionable to eat young grass, he even hit the idea of the little girl who sells matches.
Bag: Duh! Bold Chen Shimei, are these things true?
Chen: Back to your honor, it is true!
Bao: Then do you know the crime?
Chen: I do not know!
Bao: You are guilty of ghosting!
Chen: "Pandering"? You've got snow in your head, don't you? (Rushes like Bao, and knocks Bao to the ground) I want to die! Ghosting~~~Ghosting is also a crime? (To the audience) Friends, do you think ghosting is a crime?
Qin picked up the bag, the bag made a wounded look, pulled out his cell phone to call: Hey! Dynasty, where have you been, I was beaten up, call some people back 。。。。。 What? You got bird flu? The! I'll let you eat chicken ass all day long! What about Mahan?
Where's my guillotine? 。。。。 Rented it to Qingkelong to chop ribs? Bullshit! (Chen ran off the stage during the call)
Qin: Master, he ran away!
Bao: I now pronounce judgment: to sentence you and Chen Shimei divorce, property to you!
Qin: Thank you, Great Master Qing Tian! How can I thank the Great Master?
Bao: and to thank the word, when the official does not do for the people, better to go home to sell sweet potatoes!
Qin: I can only ask Mr. Bao to spend the night!
Package: what is the night?
Qin: The night is the first half of the night chipped rice, the second half of the night soul!
Bao: Why didn't you say so earlier, let's go!
The two sang hand in hand late love off the stage!
End
Because Bao and Chen have more conversations, Qin is cold more often! Please design your own moves, and be sure to kneel with your back to the audience! At the end, Chen runs off the stage and Qin turns around again!
Chen ran off the stage to say: afraid or something! Play by yourself!
The bag should pay attention to the expression on the face.
Two, the construction company party music skit script (draft laugh version)
"Xu Zhi Hu guide" music skit script
The construction company's bidding for the work of the story subject matter, which characters are: manager Wang (performed by Chen), marketing department: He Jing (performed by Li), Liu, project management department: Wu, Yang, laying out the background for the office, 2 Layout background is office, 2 desks. Place a computer or folder and a homemade calendar on the desk (on Xiao Yang's desk). The name of the office is: Office of Mr. Xu and Mr. Hu. Among them, Xiao Chen walked up from the field, Xiao Wu sat in the front row of the audience, Xiao Yang sat at the desk.
l Moderator affirmed: This story is pure fiction, to entertain the public as the goal of the struggle, such as the same, pure coincidence!
Content:
(Xiao Chen waved his hand to greet the guests)
l Xiao Chen said: "Hello, Chairman Mao taught us that we should be polite, meet regardless of whether we are familiar with have to say hello." hello, hello!" This New Year's Eve party to, I grab an opportunity to come together a familiar face. Just now, Mr. Sun greeted me from a long way away: "Mr. Wang, long time no see, how are you doing?" So excited ah, our Mr. Sun is not fat, is still so elegant, dashing suave, with a broad mind to strengthen the strength of the arm ...... (very happy and intoxicated expression said Mr. Sun,)
l Xiao Yang (immediately from the put down the hands of the work) said: the original you are Mr. Sun's FANS ah! I adore him, he fully expresses the pulse of today's society, as well as the impact of the new generation of culture, I want to take a picture with him!
l Xiao Chen said: I am also YA, want to invite him to have a tea, but the agent said that his schedule is full, there is no time.
(Suddenly received a phone call) "Li boss hello,.... The signal is not good, sorry to wait for me to move mobile mobile .... There is a project ah ...... well. Thank you, when the time to invite you to drink tea ..."
l Xiao Chen said: the key time to receive a phone call, Unicom Unicom, how to link is not pass, spoil the fun. It is good news that yo ----- (towards the surrounding audience to see, pointing to one of the audience and attached to its ear to say) you want to know ah, and listen to the next time to explain.
I'm a girl who cries
I'm a girl who is strange
I'm a girl who doesn't understand girls
l Xiaochen saw Xiaoliu and greeted her, saying: "Isn't it Xiaoliu Meimei," (waving his hand to greet her, looking at Xiaoliu with a surprised expression, and then coming up to Xiaoliu's face to take a close look at her again). The first thing you need to do is to get a good look at your face, and then look at your face carefully and look at it.
l Xiao Liu was terrified to hold his face, retorted in Changsha: NO, this is a beautiful youth Wuo, the performance of youth, Mr. Wang, do not understand ah! (while hastily pulling out a small mirror from the desk, left and right) and then very helplessly sang:
Recently more annoyed, more annoyed, more annoyed
Always feel that there are some extreme days
I think or not used to
Never no text to someone like
l Xiao Chen sang: recently more annoyed, more annoyed, more annoyed
Little Chen: recently more annoyed, more annoyed, more annoyed
Little Chen: recently more annoyed, more annoyed, more annoyed, more annoyed, more annoyed, more annoyed, more annoyed, more annoyed, more annoyed, more annoyed.
It's always hard to make money day by day
Friends often tease me intentionally or unintentionally
I might change my name one day to Hu Turn
l Xiao Liu sang: I'm more annoyed than you. I'm not going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it.
l Xiao Chen said to Xiao Liu: your department manager?
l Xiao Li came over and said: here, here.
l Xiao Chen said: with a very fast speed to speak there is a project, multiple frame structure of the plant, **** square meters, the construction party ****, October 15 bidding, October 23rd opening, you are ready to bid offer! (Then very exaggerated touch their cool hair, turned around and walked out of the office)
l Xiao Liu (a very proud expression): only a few days ago, overtime to get a project done, look at ---- the opportunity to come again. (looking up at the ceiling, hanging his head down and muttering to himself expression) fairy brother! Save me, when my damned youthful beauty Wabi Wabi will be good ah!
l Xiao Li came over and patted Xiao Liu's shoulder and said: Don't beg, Liu MM you have no idea, the gods he is very busy, the power of a party, you a few small Tuo can ask him to come out? So it's better to be practical, I'll give you a music therapy!
Which person
Which face
Does not need the comfort of a lover
Double if the flower blossomed
Face eventually change in the sea
Don't ask me how to
To be forever
I can't see
I saw
Small Liu's cute and beautiful wu
What is it that you want to do?
(At this time, Xiao Liu around Xiao Li to a small tango accompanied dance finally posed a POS)
l Xiao Li threatened Xiao Yang said: still see her beautiful wu.
l I decided to tell another lie, although I have told countless lies in my life, but this time is the most perfect." Xiao Yang said "No"
l Xiao Liu said to Xiao Li: I served YOU! Please believe me, in order to bid, I valiantly fight \ not willing to show weakness \ courageous \ Supergirl, long a few Wo Tuo won a few bids. Credibility mark "NO PROBLEM:"--------Mr He "Sha You La Na" (waved his hand and sat back to his seat, work to go)
l Li alone troubled, pacing back and forth between the desks: credibility mark small Liu to get it done, the business mark small Li to get it done, there is also a technical bid to - - to get half a day or three lack of a la, the 21st Century, what is expensive, the talent! Looking for the Department of project management courtyard sheep must be right! -Yard - small - sheep
l Xiao Yang hurriedly put down the work in hand, from their own table side to run over, but an accidental fall. Good hard to look up and asked:Leader, please what instructions."
l Xiao Li said: It is a problem of three missing one!
l Xiao Yang got up from the ground and asked: three missing one? I don't know if it's Changsha Mahjong or Running Fast? I hate you gamblers, you're not very skillful at all.
l Xiao Li: I can tell you very responsibly: Uncle Wang is very angry, the consequences are very serious. About this technical standard personnel implementation of things. Item management department is responsible for, you go to do it! (Finished and left)
l (chased after Xiao Li walked for a while) Xiao Yang said: I would have been heart to the bright moon, why the bright moon shine bid.
l sang: I think left and right, look up and down, (the standard way of thinking of Yixiu come one, look at Xiaowu when) said: O, there.
La-la-la-la\...la-la-la-la
The little god ah, quickly come over
Please ah move your feet ah, don't stop
Company things are busy ah, I just come here
So it is you are also busy people, look at the program ah happy
(Walking to the audience and pulled Wu
l Xiao Wu asked in Xinhua for some reason: "What are you doing?
l Xiao Yang is very embarrassed on the side of not saying anything, just focus on wriggling around.
l Xiaowu said: dare to ask what is the matter, is not fancy me (learn from Xiaoyang twisting around) be careful so that will be injured
l Xiaoyang said: bidding team began to work, you're responsible for the technical bidding, contracting and accounting department of the small Li Zi have been racking the field da. This bidding, one is through the actual exercise team, the second is to examine the newcomers, although you have a high level of skill, but do the bid, not only to break through themselves, but also dare to surpass the seniors here.
l Xiao Wu said: Hey ---- careless ah, careless ah, I can not think of a girl piece of play.
In order to live
We work overtime every day
But in the work of the haggard
How many years
Coalesced into this moment
Expecting the markers are all in the .... Alas ------ (two songs skewer)
It's hard to be a man
It takes a strong drink to complain of bitterness
Good men
are the most bitter
l At this point, Yang covered his ears with both hands while interrupting his singing in protest and said:On behalf of CCTV, MTV, on behalf of Pepsi, and lastly, on behalf of the audience in the audience, I express great I'm not happy with you.
l Xiao Wu said confidently: to my dissatisfaction? I'll compare my height with Pan Changjiang, my hair with Chen Pei Si, and my Chinese with President Bush. It's not that bad! The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
l Xiao Yang said:O, sorry, a moment can not remember the line, it is ---- (hiccups) then said ---- is --- (hiccups) - noise (and hiccups) ---- sound ----- right!
l Xiao Wu cried and laughed and said: stupid stupid Yang ah, you do not understand me, I hate ah. Hey - making bids to go, and a few long nights.
l Music played (Yang hummed): the song of the great Changjin
l Xiaoliu monologue: one day passed, two days passed, three days passed, the opening of the day of the bid to the (Yang turned over the calendar on the table)
l Xiaoliu said walked out: once there is a chance to win the bid, placed in front of me. I didn't cherish it, and I regretted it only when I lost it. If God can give me a chance to do it again, I will say to all of you three words: won the bid" If you have to add a subject in front of this sentence, I hope it is: a company won the bid!
l Xiao Wu, Xiao Liu, Xiao Yang, get together and ask: leadership do not regret, in the end there is no bid well? Q: Is there a chance? Q: How is it? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
l Xiao Chen followed the phone over, "O, know. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to get out of this one. ...."
"How many times have I told you not to speak too loudly when you answer the phone"
l Xiao Yang: Leader, we are anxious to know the results of the bidding. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
l Xiao Chen very mysterious speech: want to know? The test you, answer a few questions, the answer is right to tell you!
l The girls said: have confidence, put the horse over.
l Boys discussed, chorus:
Here is a what Xian
What car usually drive
Love to say what words
What is the most hated
l Girls discussed chorus:
Here is a Chen Shengxian
Only a broken sunglasses
With the virtue of the people hang
Blowing his immortal breath counts as a protest
l "Great, good response. The chorus:
What our secretary thinks about
What our secretary dreams about
What our secretary worries about
What our secretary worries about
l The chorus of the girl's discussion:
What our secretary thinks about
What our secretary dreams about
What our secretary dreams of
What our secretary worries about
What the most troublesome thing is that our debtor is coming to our door
What the most troublesome thing is that we don't have the money in our pockets
What the most troublesome thing is that our debtor has the money in our pockets. (said to the audience below) If you think they are not good at the song, please use your left hand to clap your right hand to indicate, if you think they are good at the song, then please use your right hand to clap your left hand to indicate how?
l (after the thunderous applause) Chen said: It seems that the MM supporters or more than our handsome. I can't help it! We are all adults, talking is to be responsible for it. I'm going to convince MM with my morals! I'll tell you! (Shouting happily) I've won the bid, I've won the bid.
l The music started (play a section), all the staff to a section of the cha-cha dance
l Suddenly, the music stopped, everyone set up a PS.
l Play: <Tomorrow will be better >.... Gently wake up the sleeping mind,slowly open your eyes
l Meanwhile,monologue by Xiao Chen:In the new year,there is a new harvest! On this special day, we wish a company tomorrow will be better!
l Men set off fireworks, girls banner.
Three, skit script: Jingke stabbed Qin prequel (funny version)
Characters: King of Qin, Zhao Gao, Li Si Si, Jingke, Meng Jiangnu, samurai
Location: Palace Hall
Time: 228 BC
Once on the scene, the dark field, stand and sit with a model: wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind wind blowing blowing blowing <
The brain hurts.
Light up, the Emperor shook the phone and shouted in a hierarchical way: hey (expression very screwed up), hey (look at the two people next to him)
Hey! (hysterical)
The other three all answer the phone: hello, yes! Hi!
The emperor taps his leg (no one cares) The others continue to say I'm quite busy right now, the emperor taps again and shouts angrily, but also do not go to the court
The two little bitchy Emperor Samurai are still giggling to answer the phone
Lees kicked over the samurai immediately set up a sword movement a very frame of mind
Samurai: Yes, there are Ben 。。。。 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Zo no Ben retreat, retreat, retreat, morning. (like a girl pouting)
Samurai: eh, eh, (can with gestures) right (stuttering sound)
Lee's cell phone rings
The emperor: ouch!
Zhao: a big white face close to the Emperor Emperor you toothache ah? (
The Emperor: You're the one with a toothache!
Li: the original word in the paper
The emperor: a surprised look exaggeratedly jumped on the stool What is it again?wenmi.net Then I asked you to build the Great Wall of China how is the progress?
The warrior was playing with his cell phone Li went up and kicked him again
The warrior came forward with a straight face and reported: Your Majesty, four hundred kilometers were repaired a month ago.
The emperor: how four hundred kilometers? Didn't I tell you to fix 800 kilometers?
Samurai: Yes, it is four hundred kilometers ah! (whining)
Emperor: eight hundred miles! (shouts childishly)
Samurai: Four hundred kilometers!
Emperor: eight hundred miles! ()
Samurai: Four hundred kilometers!
Zhao: Your Majesty, he's tricking you! (very thievishly)
Emperor: oh! (Sudden realization) Come here! (pulling the bow and arrow and shouting)
Samurai: Ah, no~~~
Emperor, hurry to call the contractor, urging the progress
Zhao Li and two at the same time said: Emperor, they owe the fee
Emperor: owe the fee? Didn't I ask you to send them a rechargeable card? The card?
Zhao Li sent ah
Emperor: sent? All sent to your small phase well
Zhao Li: No ~ ~
Emperor: look at you so soldiers bear bear a will bear a nest
Zhao: Emperor rest his anger! I have invented a new object
Emperor: what is it?
Zhao: This new object can achieve the effect of communication without spending a penny!
Two people **** sing: two little dolls ah call together ah hello hello hello where are you ah ah ah ah I'm at the mall ah
Emperor: good thing! What is the name ah
Zhao: line words
Emperor: remember you a great merit, immediately mass production! For military use and construction.
Samurai cell phone rings again
Emperor: oops! Ya Ya Ya Ya Ya Ya
Zhao: Your Majesty you have a toothache again ah?
The emperor: go go go!
Warrior: at this time to report! (original words)
Lee: Oh, that's just right. Ah? Doesn't that all cry down to me? Where's the woman?
Samurai: Already captured, please the king sentenced.
Emperor: Bring me the woman.
Zhao Li: Summon the woman of Meng Jiang to the temple!
Da Chang Jin's music + clothes (Korean dance, samurai following her beautifully behind her, helping to hold up her sarong)
Meng Jiang Nui sings: hula hula hula hula la 。。。。
The Emperor at first followed the beat beautifully, but suddenly at once felt that something was wrong and shouted: don't 'la' la!
Samurai: Your Majesty, that's her!
Meng Jiangnu: (suddenly took out chopsticks from his arms, knocking the rhythm) Daughter I have been very kind since childhood, married a man called Wan Xiliang, three days ago we both entered the bridal chamber, my bitter Wanlang was arrested to repair the broken wall, I do not know who made a rumor, said that in order to make the Great Wall of all time, you must pay a visit to? The Great Wall must be visited to ensure its longevity. What? The night donkey contempt to take the jurisdiction to kill? The first thing I want to do is to get rid of it. What's the reason for this? What's your name? What's the name of your company? What's your favorite? What are you doing? What are you doing? Taking risks? What are the risks? Risk-taking? What are the risks? What? He is the stinking, stinking king who is worse than pigs, dogs, chickens, ducks, toads and cockroaches!
(Others stick their necks out to the rhythm)
After Meng Jiangnu finished speaking, the warrior suddenly shouted, "Good! (Suddenly realizing that something is wrong, he added) Good you bold Meng Jiangnu, you dare to scold the Emperor!
Meng: I'll curse, I'll curse, tyrant tyrant tyrant tyrant. (making a gesture of contempt)
Zhao: Still scolding!
Li: Cursing is enough!
Emperor: also! She despised me, she a Meng Jiangnu, my Great Wall cried down, she is still so arrogant, (said to the person next to him, and then pull out the guy, the two immediately pulled him) I, I, I want to chop you! (Emperor excited) next to Li pull him, can not pull.
Samurai: Your Majesty ~ ~ ~ ~, the contractor Jing Ke seeks an audience!
The emperor: what? Jing Ke, bring him here!
Samurai: Yes!
Jing Ke on the scene, a rushed up to the big board kneeling, dyed hair, wearing fashionable also wear gold, very self-absorbed ear singing: please give me a chance, do not say nothing to the wages! It has been in arrears for so long, your money in the end to give or not! (Pendulum life supplies toothbrush toothpaste what also comb hair triad boss-like)
Emperor: you 。。。。?
Jing Ke: (very bandit air with northeastern dialect) I tell you ah, today to not give money Oh, today I will not go Oh! (Take the alarm clock to see the time to adjust the time) I will sleep Oh!
Samurai: (Suddenly pouting) You have a manly flavor!
Jingke: Get lost!
The Emperor: Yikes! (to the two men next to him) Then looks down and pulls out his dick!
Two people pickpocketed down the emperor (the emperor fell to the chair under the four eights), and then together to pull out the guy
Zhao Li two people: walked to the emperor in front of the emperor to block the emperor, pulling out kitchen knives and machetes.
The emperor climbed up and said: do not mess!
Jing Ke: give me money
Meng Jiangnu: return my husband
(four times pause, the Emperor in the middle of the cute beat suddenly realized that something is wrong, shouting stop! (The crowd froze, the Emperor shouted, want money ah)
(rice-planting song four steps)
Jing Ke: give me husband
Meng Jiangnu: return my wages
The people next to the match sing RAP tunes
The Emperor snatched the knife in the hands of the Zhao and Li two people, and held it himself, shouting: get up for me!
Meng Jiangnu coldly gave the Emperor a knife, the Emperor asked: what is this?
Meng Jiangnu: knife ah autumn water general treasure knife ah
Emperor: he dared to stab me? Suddenly crooked to the ground!
Jing Ke approached the Emperor, ah He died (SHI) put a press to play a little
Meng shouted: ah! Jing Ke stabbed Qin!
Everyone approached and said, "Come here, you two, make up two cuts, discharge each other, Zhao and Li stood up and took his hand, and Jing Ke stabbed the Qin,"
Samurai: Ah, he stabbed the Qin! Then he ran away
Start the music
.