The Koreans and Japanese will go to great lengths to teach you when they realize that you are not following their traditional etiquette. I remember once having dinner and drinks with a group of Korean guests. Koreans have a lot of etiquette when it comes to drinking, for example, juniors or then subordinates should always keep an eye on the glasses of their elders and superiors, and as soon as they run out of wine, the youngsters should pour wine immediately, and at the same time make a toast.
Nowadays, Chinese people usually turn around and go back to their tables after making a toast. On that day, I finished my toast to a ministerial-level Korean guest, and was about to turn around and go back to my seat when I was stopped by the section chief-level Korean guest on the side. He told me to wait after the toast to see if the minister had made a speech. Usually, Korean elders or superiors will give instructions to their juniors or subordinates when they make a toast, and only after they have made a speech, the person who made the toast can turn around and go back to his seat only if he has the consent of his elders or superiors. I was sweating profusely from this meal. I know that what the Koreans taught me was really just Confucian wine etiquette.
On another occasion, I went to a teahouse with a Japanese expert for tea. The teahouse is a very high-class kind of tea, tea masters throughout the tea explanation, in my opinion this has been very upscale and very cultural, I did not expect that the Japanese guests shook his head, said to me: "Hey, it's a pity that the traditional Chinese tea ceremony is declining. The real tea ceremony can only be seen in Japan." He then began to introduce me to the wonderful Japanese tea ceremony.
The Japanese have a pent-up admiration for Chinese culture. The Japanese Tea Ceremony is basically a preservation of the Chinese Tang Dynasty's tea ceremony process, which became a solemn ritual. If Japanese people want to invite someone for tea, they usually have to make a reservation a few weeks in advance. Then a tea ceremony master has to be invited to be the chief of this tea gathering.
At the beginning of the ceremony, there will be an "appreciation of Tang objects", which are Chinese tea utensils, and the chief will introduce the story of these "Tang objects" to everyone. After the introduction, the tea lovers will take turns to appreciate it, and must make a slurping sound of admiration.
Then the tea is opened (the Japanese drink is matcha), tea lovers take turns to smell the tea, also want to make a slurping sound. When they have finished drinking the tea, the chief also needs to make ink with the water used to make the tea, and make a drawing or write a character.
The Japanese expert said with a flutter. At this time, my eyes vividly appeared in front of the ancestors of the Tang Dynasty to drink tea, I suddenly feel a little heartbroken, as a descendant of the Tang Dynasty vulgarity and ignorance to feel uncomfortable.
Europeans generally don't point out your rudeness directly; they help you with their actions. In the early nineties, Chinese stores started using plastic bags for their stuff. It became fashionable for everyone in the community to carry a plastic toiletry bag.
One day at work, a German expert with whom I have a great affinity pulled me down and said, "Come to my office." Into his office, he took out a brand new briefcase to me, said: "This is a small gift, is our expert group to thank you for your help all along." I immediately smiled and said, "No need to be so polite, I'm fine with a plastic bag, it's especially light and doesn't prevent me from commuting to work on my bicycle." He gulped, "You can leave the case in your office, and you can use this one when you go out for meetings during the week." I suddenly realized that he was disgusted that I was walking around with a plastic bag and lost their face, so I accepted the file suitcase without further ceremony.
The Germans are very organized and always in a suit at work. I did learn from them a serious work attitude and professional business etiquette. Later, I got used to wearing a suit and tie at work, even in the summer when the temperature was 30 degrees. Chinese coworkers would ask, "Aren't you hot?"
China has long been known as the "land of etiquette". Nowadays, Chinese people are not as tied up in red tape as their ancestors were, but this has lost some of its flavor and cultural content. Although no longer running around with plastic bags, but a variety of important occasions or lack of some sense of ceremony.
Instead of sending our 5 and 6 year olds to tutorials in English and math, we should let them learn some manners and etiquette. This must be more meaningful to the children themselves as well as to the society as a whole.