There is a question on the Internet: do you regret marrying this person?
Some people answered: regret, especially regret.
When I got married, I was already old, and I wasn't satisfied with my current husband, but I was
afraid that I wouldn't be able to find anyone better, so I just got married.
It's relatively easy to get a license, but you can't live your life on a daily basis with a "horizontal" heart.
The apple to thirty years of age is still single, the same age people have been married and have children, the pressure is enormous.
At this time, colleagues introduced a civil servant, age, education, income are equivalent, looks passable, but also can talk to.
If you get married, and even have a house, it's a good idea to say that it's an affordable man, and it's a good idea to marry someone who looks good to outsiders.
But for Apple, there are two problems that always haunt her, one is not much feeling, the second is that this big brother is not particularly hygienic.
According to the old man's words, what is the feeling that can live with you?
Not hygienic? A single man whose home is not here, how clean do you want him to be? With a woman is good.
It seems like single men are supposed to be scruffy, just waiting for their wives to clean up after they get married.
It sounds like the man's position, but it also touches the heart of a man who hates marriage.
Although it is not very satisfied, the heart is not willing, but if you miss it, and afraid of not being able to find a better one.
Back and forth thinking, comparing. Feelings may be able to cultivate, as for scruffy, more urge him, shower, change clothes, there is a washing machine, this should not be difficult.
More than a year out of the marriage, the apple sentiment, not satisfied with the person, do not marry him.
You are afraid that you can not meet a better, forced themselves to will be on the other side, but those dissatisfied with the point is not accepted by you, and you can not stand it, always staring at it, always want to let the other side for you to change.
The result is likely to be that you will regret.
02
British writer Maugham's long novel "The Veil", the main character Katie comes from a family of small lawyers, but she looks beautiful, her mother has high hopes for her.
Although Katie yearns for love, she is more vain, and after years of dancing, she still hasn't found the man of her choice with a high social status.
Under the cruel situation of her mother's forced marriage and the engagement of her younger sister, who is eight years younger, she marries herself to Dr. Walter, a bacteriologist who loves her but whose name she doesn't even remember.
Katie doesn't love Walter, nor is she unaware that he's not a good talker, but she's "forced" by reality to marry him and follow him to Hong Kong.
The humdrum of life gradually shatters her dreams of marriage, and she cheats on her assistant, the Chief Secretary.
Soon Walter learns that the good life Katie fantasized about has not come to pass, and that the lover has backed out.
Katie follows her husband to the outback, where the epidemic is rampant, and lives a life where she faces the threat of death, and a husband who will never look at her the same way again.
This life was torture for Katie, more like punishment.
From the moment she accepts Walter's proposal, her life is doomed to be unhappy.
Katie was once a fairy to Walter, but Walter was a last resort to Katie, a choice she had no choice but to make.
Derailment, epidemic ravaged, back to Hong Kong ......
Life continues to be unveiled layer by layer, until they find the life they really want.
03
More than one person has asked, this person is the best conditions I have met, but she/he has shortcomings, I'm not willing, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to meet a better person, what should I do?
The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates had a philosophical story about marriage.
Plato, a student, asked Socrates what marriage was. Socrates told him to take a trip to the woods, keep going, no turning back, and on the way pick a tree that would be perfect for a Christmas tree and come back, but only cut it down once.
Half a day later, Plato returned tired, bringing back a tree that looked straight and green but sparse.
Socrates asks if this is the best tree.
Plato replied: because you can only take it once, and it was so hard to see one that looked good, and then realize that you didn't have enough strength, so you didn't care if it was the best, so you cut it down and brought it back.
Socrates told him: this is marriage.
There are no perfect people in this world, and no one who can fully meet your expectations, so there is never a perfect marriage.
No matter how happy and long-lasting a marriage is, both people will have their flaws.
Appreciate each other's strengths and tolerate the weaknesses in order to go on.
04
In the recent hit drama "know whether to know, should be green, fat, red and thin", the main character, Minglan, said:
This lowest place in addition to the character of the person, there are shortcomings in life.
Character needless to say, almost no one is willing to find a poor character object, no matter how good he / she has.
Other aspects of the shortcomings are not easy to say, others feel insignificant, may be you simply can not stand.
But the truth is, everyone has flaws and strengths, and you can only pack them in and accept them, not eat them in the east and sleep in the west.
We can fall in love with someone because of their strengths, but it's the weaknesses that we ultimately have to "get over" in order to live our lives.
This "overcome" is not the other side can correct, but we can endure.
So when you meet someone you're not completely happy with, should you get married? It depends on whether you can tolerate those things that you find unpleasant in the present, and whether you can tolerate them in the future.
Don't settle for marriage and life with the idea that the other person will change if you marry them, or that you can change them.
Being single is lonely at best, but it is torture.