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? Since ancient times, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have had a wonderful relationship. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, look after the mother-in-law for ten years, and look after the daughter-in-law for ten years. But some mothers-in-law, in order to establish their status as the hostess of the house, give their daughter-in-law power over her when she comes to the house for the first time.
Many married friends around me also told me about the experience of meeting their parents-in-law for the first time, and found that most mothers-in-law have an insecurity about their sons being snatched away.
Can I live in harmony with my mother-in-law after marriage? In fact, you can get a glimpse of it when you meet for the first time.
My cousin’s life is now stable and happy. Both husband and wife have their own jobs. Their daughter is placed in the kindergarten of Zhiwu, and they spend two or three days a month to visit the elderly. The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law issues that bother her best friend are not worth mentioning at all to her.
My cousin vaguely remembers the first time she met her mother-in-law. In her words, she was terrified.
You can’t leave empty-handed when you go to meet your parents-in-law for the first time. My cousin bought fruits and seafood and took them to her boyfriend’s house in large and small bags. Before going there, I specifically asked my boyfriend Zhou Yang what style of clothes his mother would like girls to wear. Is it more fancy or simple? Zhou Yang said that it would be natural, and my mother did not have so many demands. He also said that my cousin was too nervous.
In fact, for a boyfriend to bring his girlfriend home to meet his parents, for him, it is just a matter of bringing a woman back to his home, but for a woman, it is an uneasy feeling for a woman to walk into a completely unfamiliar environment. Can it be the same?
As expected, when the mother-in-law saw her cousin, she smiled and ignored her, then went to the kitchen to cook without asking her what she liked to eat or asking her to drink water. My cousin is very embarrassed, she is not born to please others. Before going there, her family specially told her to be diligent and help with the work, but she just couldn't put a hot face on a cold butt.
It’s not a problem for my cousin to leave with a big bag of gifts, and it’s not a problem for her to stay. Zhou Yang patted her shoulder to indicate to relax, took the things from her hands, and while pulling his cousin into the kitchen, he said, Mom, look, Ling'er bought these specially for you, and these fish are all wild. ...
Why waste that money? Who knows if they are fed feed? His good intentions were poured cold water on him, and his cousin suddenly became embarrassed on the spot. The father-in-law who had been silent finally spoke, and said with an apologetic smile that it was a waste of money to buy so many things for the first time here. You should go out and rest quickly. The meal will be ready soon.
The mother-in-law coughed a few times and the father-in-law immediately stopped talking. At that time, my cousin knew that her father-in-law had no status in the family and that her mother-in-law had all the power.
In my impression, when a daughter-in-law comes to her parents-in-law’s house for the first time, shouldn’t the parents-in-law take the initiative to pick up the food? Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law sit intimately on the sofa and hold hands, asking warmly if the family has any problems.
But the actual situation shocked my cousin. After a whole meal, my mother-in-law took care of herself picking vegetables to eat. My father-in-law politely said that this is his own home and he could order whatever he wanted. Then he stopped greeting his cousin. Zhou Yang gave his cousin a piece of fish, but his mother-in-law glared back.
That meal was tasteless to my cousin. This is not the first time I've met my husband's family, it's definitely like coming to collect debts.
When they were about to leave, the mother-in-law excused herself to go to the kitchen to wash dishes. Out of politeness, the cousin felt that she should go in and greet the elders. However, she heard her mother-in-law chatting with her father-in-law behind their backs. Although she tried to keep her voice down, the cousin I could still hear it clearly, and it felt as if a fly was stuck in my throat. It was extremely uncomfortable.
How much money can you make in a month to buy so many things? It must be our son’s money!
The first time I came here, I didn’t know how to do housework. I don’t know how lazy I will be in the future!
I worked so hard to cook so many dishes, but she only ate a few bites. If she thought my cooking was unpalatable, she wouldn’t eat it!
Sometimes if you don’t like someone, no matter how hard you try to please them, it won’t help.
The first meeting left a bad impression on both parties. Fortunately, Zhou Yang is obedient to his cousin and will not be so foolish and filial that he gives up on this relationship because of his mother-in-law's attitude. After getting married, my cousin strongly requested to live separately from her parents-in-law. I would rather rent a house outside than the mental torture of my elders.
Fortunately, they just bought a house last year. It's only half an hour's drive from my parents-in-law's house, which not only takes care of the elderly, but also saves my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law trouble.
2
But Xiaoyun, the daughter-in-law of my neighbor Aunt Lan, is not so lucky.
It was Xiaoyun’s first visit to her husband’s house, and out of courtesy she brought a lot of specialties from her hometown.
At lunch time, Aunt Lan prepared fried shredded pork with potatoes, tomato and egg soup and white rice. Xiaoyun said that if it is a married life, there is nothing wrong with having three meals a day. But it was my first time visiting, and my mother-in-law cooked it so poorly. She didn't mean to ask for a large table of Manchu and Chinese banquets to be so exaggerated. She should at least treat the guests formally to be serious, right? Four dishes and one soup is the most basic way of hospitality.
I know Aunt Lan’s family background well. Her husband, Uncle Chen, made a fortune in the timber business in his early years. He bought two apartments in the city and now rents them out. Uncle Chen opened a convenience store in the next town and rarely came back. The family had no worries about food and clothing. When her husband and son are not at home, Aunt Lan dances square dances and plays mahjong. There are no old ladies around who don’t envy her life.
Although Xiaoyun is not a wealthy lady, she said that every time she eats, her family always carefully prepares four dishes and one soup, which once made her feel that the most delicious food in the world is home-cooked food. Aunt Lan's almost vegetarian hospitality completely subverted Xiaoyun's outlook on life.
Aunt Lan kept picking up vegetables for Xiaoyun. There were countless shredded potatoes, but scattered shredded pork.
Xiaoyun didn’t take it to heart because of Aunt Lan’s excessive “thrift and diligence”. After marriage, even if there is a house, the young couple can live alone. Xiaoyun still obediently followed Aunt Lan's suggestion that she would have a baby in the first three years, so that everyone could take care of each other if they lived together, and it wouldn't be too late to move out when the baby goes to kindergarten.
But now, Xiaoyun’s son is in senior class, and he only talks about moving out casually. Every time he mentions it to Aunt Lan, she always finds various excuses to evade it.
The matter of moving out was put on hold. What annoys Xiaoyun so much is that her mother-in-law takes care of their food, drink, housing and transportation in the name of "love".
In the summer, when the temperature is 36 degrees, the air conditioner is not allowed to be turned on. It is said that turning on the electric fan is healthier for the body. It’s not like he has to pay the electricity bill himself, it’s his son’s money he’s spending!
On my birthday, I rarely went out for a meal with my husband. I spent less than 500 yuan, but the receipt was accidentally discovered. Aunt Lan kept nagging in her ear for a whole month, saying that the food outside was made of gutter oil, a waste of money and unhygienic!
My mother-in-law rarely buys meat and fish for a month. Xiaoyun went to the supermarket and bought some ribs to stew in soup. When her mother-in-law saw her, she said that pork is all made with hormones, so how can vegetables be economical?
……
Everything made Xiaoyun unbearable.
If her husband hadn’t been on her side wholeheartedly and it was not easy to be considerate to her, Xiaoyun would have really considered divorce. Xiaoyun couldn't get used to the food cooked by her mother-in-law, so her husband often took her out to eat out in private. Whenever she had a conflict with her mother-in-law, her husband always coaxed her first and didn't blame Xiaoyun at all. If I hadn't thought about having a good husband who was in pain, I would have broken up a long time ago.
But Xiaoyun knew in her heart that in the long run it would be difficult to protect her husband from being deceived by her mother-in-law's painful drama, and the marriage would be in jeopardy. Xiaoyun and her husband have made up their mind to move out and live alone after their son graduates from kindergarten.
The mother-in-law is one of the important factors directly related to the happy life of the young couple. If you meet a reasonable mother-in-law, your married life will be much happier; similarly, if you meet an unreasonable mother-in-law, your family life will be greatly compromised and even affect the relationship between the couple.
Fortunately, my cousin and Xiaoyun both have good husbands who know both cold and hot. At least when they face their mother-in-law, they are not fighting alone, but two people working side by side. In life, many women live in a mess because of conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and even seek divorce in exchange for a free new life. As everyone knows, they were not forced into desperation by their mother-in-law, but the man they called husband made her feel as if she was alone in the desert.
Men don’t know that when your wife calls your mother “Mom” with you, to your wife your mother has another identity of “mother-in-law”, but to you she has always been “Mom” ".