The relationship between elderly couples
Older couples have deep emotions and seem not to be restricted by culture and occupation. When a person reaches old age, the person he spends day and night with is none other than his spouse. If a couple is at odds and quarrels frequently, it will have a great impact on the mood and health of the elderly. Therefore, the elderly should consciously handle the relationship between husband and wife.
Comrades Zhou Enlai and Deng Yingchao summed up the "eight mutual" principles for handling the relationship between husband and wife based on their personal experience: mutual respect, mutual love, mutual trust, mutual help, mutual comfort, mutual encouragement, and mutual concession. Elderly couples can avoid disputes if they get along according to these principles. Be considerate of each other and don't criticize; take care of each other and don't just care about yourself; be good at tolerating and don't be aggressive; be good at controlling your emotions and don't lose your temper casually.
The relationship between parents and children
According to surveys, most of the elderly in our country have a harmonious and close relationship between the two generations. If children have a good attitude towards their parents, the family atmosphere will be harmonious; if they have an average attitude towards their parents, the family atmosphere will also be average. Among the elderly who feel that their environment is not good, those with poor relationship between the two generations are the most common. Among the old people who would rather die early, many have the misfortune of losing their children in their later years. It is very painful for the old people to have gray hair and black hair. The relationship between the two generations will of course affect the elderly's satisfaction with life and their adaptation in old age.
Most families where the elderly and their children live together are harmonious, but there are also families where there are many conflicts and quarrels. Some elderly people are very disappointed with their children. They seem to be powerless to educate their children and have the mentality that children cannot be taught. They hope that the country will strengthen the moral education of respecting the elderly for the younger generation. Parents should be more open-minded and ask their children to always be inseparable from their parents like they were when they were children. This is unrealistic. Some people say: "When children are young, their parents are the first in their hearts; when they grow up and find a spouse, their parents are relegated to second place; when they have children, their parents are relegated to third place. This is true from generation to generation. That's it." If you understand this rule, the elderly will feel at ease.
When social changes are more drastic, due to differences in values, morals, life experiences, lifestyles and requirements, the conflicts between the two generations are more acute. This requires both parties to communicate their thoughts and have a heart-to-heart talk. Discuss some issues. Parents should explain the truth in a persuasive and persuasive way, listen patiently to different opinions, absorb reasonable opinions, and achieve consensus in ideological understanding.
The quality of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and the relationship between mother-in-law and son-in-law directly affects the harmony of the family. People often say: "Harmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law makes the whole family happy." There are many reasons for conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and husband-in-law and son-in-law, such as differences in values, living habits, attitudes towards life, family trivial matters, financial problems, etc. There is another reason that is more subtle, which is that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law (law-in-law) are not related by blood, but they have to recognize each other by blood. They are not directly connected emotionally but are connected through an intermediary (son or daughter). Parents should have the same feelings for their daughter-in-law or son-in-law as they do for their children, but in fact, it is more difficult for the daughter-in-law or son-in-law to do this since they did not raise them since childhood. How to resolve this contradiction? According to the experience of some elderly people, in order to continue to love their children, they must love their daughter-in-law. They should pay attention to regulating their emotions, and be tolerant and considerate of each other.
Relationship between grandparents and grandchildren
Professor Fei Xiaotong has a metaphor: the father is a point, the mother is a point, and the parents are connected in a straight line; after they have children, they can be connected into a triangle. More stable than a straight line. This vividly illustrates the relationship between parents and children. With grandchildren, another point is added in the middle of the triangle. Both generations like grandchildren. The grandchildren become the center of the triangle, which can promote family harmony. Of course, we must also pay attention to the education of our grandchildren and not spoil them. The education and life care for the third generation are often inconsistent with that of the second generation, leading to conflicts. This cannot be ignored either.