One day, waking up from sleep, I suddenly didn't know what the motivation and meaning of living was. I'm not sure what I'm talking about, but I'm not sure what I'm talking about.
Life, repeated in a fixed track:
Take care of the elderly, children, daily boring and monotonous life; do not get rich, but also starve the work; every day to eat, sleep, as long as the eyes are open on the bed holding a cell phone brushing gossip news and friends, or endless drama. After watching a haha, nothing left.
I find myself getting lazy. I hate to go to work, but because I have to make ends meet and be forced to comply, I feel like I am being raped by life, and I am very sorry for myself. It's like a frog in warm water, and I'm not passionate about it anymore. In his mind, he always repeatedly dreamed of getting rich. Imagine the luxury and unrestrained life, wake up more and more sad. Look at this star, that celebrity how how bright, earned a lot of money, but the people behind the hard work, the process of desperation selective blind. I only lamented the fact that my life is not easy to live. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new phone, and you'll be able to get it to work.
Every day, I'm too lazy to think about anything, and I don't read. Just 30 years old, always losing things, but fussing that they are old, memory loss. Then look at yourself in the mirror and say, sure! This "reasonable" self-congratulation will be successful.
When you see a particularly inspirational or sentimental words, you can't wait to send them to your friends, or endlessly send selfies, food, small videos recorded everywhere, and all the things you can take pictures of. And it doesn't matter why, anyway, everyone sends it, I have to send it too. As if I could send out a bright future. In the end, all I cared about was how many people commented and how many people liked it. It feels like the only thing that is all mental food are comments and likes.
? The beer belly is getting bigger and bigger, and the smoke stains on the teeth and fingers are getting heavier and heavier. Doing anything is a three-minute fever, always give themselves a variety of reasons to excuse themselves. I said I want to insist on exercising, but I'm too tired to work today, so forget about it! The next day it rained, the weather was not favorable, it is not their own fault, forget it! The third day it was too cold, or wait for the day to warm up, forget it...
I don't have any control over what I spend my money on, and I shop online endlessly. Always feel that this is also needed, that is also cheap, the result is to buy a whole lot of things back, there are things used once as if they did not touch again. Every month's paycheck is spent to the bottom of the sky. At the end of the year, there is almost no money left, so I comfort myself, forget it, next year, then save money. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world.
This is the way to consume the years of life. In the subtle, slowly become an irritable, easy to complain, no thought, people cloud, lazy, do not think of enterprising, poor life of people. Perhaps when I was 60 years old no longer have a job income, monthly government pension subsidies of a hundred or so pathetic living. Moving a small horse sitting in the neighborhood park, looking at the square dance of the aunt, recalling the first 30 years of my life: there have been teenage madness of the rebellion, the military chaos of youth, the sweetness of love and the pain of love lost, a mixture of flavors but colorful. The last 30 years, why is it blank, as if I can not remember anything, only remember the old age, only lingering, as if the last 30 years of their own did not exist. Suddenly, I was afraid of a life that would end with a single glance until I died. I was terrified! People will always die, but at least I'm still alive, and I'll be alive for a long time. It would be better to live like a corpse than to leave! So I'm going to change my position and start over.
I began to read, began to think, away from the phone, diligently writing, trying to make myself a writer who does not enter the stream; began to work out, no matter how late, no matter how tired, no matter how bad the conditions, do not give themselves to find excuses; practiced singing a song, although singing is still like a broken gong, but at least slowly to the tune of the approach; learning English, in the work of the gap to memorize a few words, the leisure time I've been working hard to earn money, and I'm not going to spend any of it in moderation, but I'm going to keep my passion for my work, and I'm going to take the money from my boss, and I'm not going to do my best to work.
I don't know where the future is, and I don't know what the future looks like, or the rest of my life there is no big achievement, but I want to go to be a self-disciplined person. I'm going to plant a seed in the corner for my own life, growing alone in the darkness, wrapping up all the unwillingness and suffering. Don't want applause, don't make any noise. Even if it is destined to be ordinary, but also in the pale life to tear open a little gap, shining into a beam of colorful light at the end of the micro, warming myself, illuminating the next journey of my life.