The most important people in life sort of
The most important people in life sort of, we in this life on the road, starting from birth, will meet a lot of people, summarized as: parents, friends, partners, children, so who do you think is the most important? Let's take a look at the most important people in life sort of content.
The most important people in life sort 1Probably at every stage of life, we will give ourselves around the people in a sort of order. Because of the order in which they appear, they also make a quiet change in the order of our hearts.
In a recent episode of My Family's Daughter, Papi Sauce chatted with her new best friend, Jiao Junyan, about love and marriage.
She ranked the most important roles in her life as herself, her partner, her children, and her parents.
This statement made many netizens speak their minds.
Some netizens said, "Isn't it better to put your parents, who gave birth to you and raised you, in front of your children? Not that I do not agree with ha, just to my sitting on the well to see the general has not had a child will be more important to the parents"
There are also people expressed understanding: "partner is to accompany us through half of the life of the parents to accompany our young years, we accompany the child's young years, parents and children are pointing to the separation of the love is the continuation of the downward, the love of the child is the continuation of the downward, the love of the child is the continuation of the downward. We all love our children more than we love our parents."
Papi Sauce also explained the ordering later:
I'm doing this ordering from the perspective of an independent individual, and I hope that whether that individual is my parent or my child, that in the ordering of their life, they will still put themselves first.
At this moment, I genuinely feel that papi sauce has a very positive outlook.
- 1 -
Since ancient times, the Chinese people's concept of family is very heavy, on the top to filial piety parents, the bottom to love and care for the young, husband and wife to be harmonious. Grandparents have inherited this rule from generation to generation without paying any attention to themselves.
But with the progress of the times, you will slowly realize that only take care of yourself, to love and care for those around you.
Yourself first in line is not selfish, let yourself be an independent individual does not depend on others, regardless of the future of parents, partners, children who are absent, you can live from myself.
Parents ranked last does not mean that they are not important, you still have to block the bullet for them, just want to family harmony on this row. The reason for this is that the family disputes have been passed from one generation to the next, and it's because people don't have the independence to live their own lives.
Parents do not live around their children, children do not obey their parents, children's pressure will be less, parents' lives will become richer.
But the fathers in the studio all had helpless and speechless looks on their faces, and it was clear they didn't think so.
The dads ranked themselves like this: parents, kids, partners, themselves.
Without exception, they all put their kids before themselves.
Dazhong spat sharply: why don't you put your partner first? It's because you don't think your partner will leave, so it's not that important. The dads were speechless.
- 2 -
Contemporary young people have been able to be financially/personality independent.
This is a time when parents can't interfere too much in their children's lives. Most importantly, hopefully, this is also the time when parents realize that what matters most is, themselves.
I have a very smart friend. After graduating from college, he came out and started his own business. For three years, he lived in a $200 rental and ate brussels sprouts for the longest time, two weeks.
Now he is also quite successful, in our hometown of small county, bought a house for his parents.
The parents are always nagging, calling every three days to ask, "When are you going to get married?"
He began to enroll his parents in interest classes, calligraphy, square dance, chess, and tried to persuade his parents: do not save too much money. See places suitable for the elderly to travel, first cut off and then enroll in a group with the group.
A year down the road, he said a lot less pressure, feel the hair are black back.
Parents will no longer be physically and mentally pressed on their children's lives, worrying about their children's trivial daily life, and really have their own lives.
This is the real filial piety to parents.
- 3 -
In fact, the best parent-child relationship is one in which the parent and the child **** together.
In an interview column on CCTV's Face to Face, Dong Qing talked for the first time about her experience as a first-time mom.
In the first year of her child's life, Dongqing said that her focus seemed to change all of a sudden, and that she had to consider her child first in everything she did.
Life has become increasingly trivial and mediocre because of all the children. The first thing you need to do is to make sure that your child has a good understanding of what you are doing and what you are doing to help him or her. She was in a state of confusion.
Until one day, her friend said to her:
If you want your child to be what he or she is, the easiest way is for you to be what you are first.
Dongqing doesn't want her world to be all about her children, let alone her children's world to be all about her.
Image source @VisualChina
So she decided to give up being a full-time mom and return to the workplace, continuing to pursue opportunities for self-growth and breakthroughs.
She began preparing for The Reader, not just as the show's host, but by picking up the slack as the show's producer. After that, any program she handled was aired to rave reviews.
And her children are no longer a drag on her growth path, but her new motivation. She said:
I don't want to give up the possibility of self-growth, I can't stop myself just because I have a child.
I'm going to try to make myself better so that when my child grows up and becomes an adult, when he really knows what he's doing, he will have love and respect for me.
In fact, around us, many parents treat their children as if they were everything, and even pour all their hopes into them. Unbeknownst to them, such an approach is an invisible pressure on their children.
The responsibility of parents is to be a role model for their children, to guide them forward, and to grow with them while giving them a warm harbor.
Perhaps another way to think about it is that we are all searching for ourselves throughout our lives. And our children, too, are searching for themselves.
Ranking the most important people in your life2Who is the most important person in your life? If there are parents, children, and partners in the ranking how are they ranked? Parents, children, partners are the most important people in life, usually no one will ask you the weight of these three roles in your heart, but to the critical moment, you have to make a decision, you must be divided into a before and after, I think a lot of people will be crushed, because these three roles are important to the people can only be ranked first.
"My family that girl" Olympic champions quit, ushered in the actress Jiao Junyan, most of the netizens of the actress may still be very familiar with, because the two better quality of the play is played on the network platform, the audience who have seen her TV series know that Jiao Junyan is a good actor.
and participate in the same variety show Yuan Shanshan or college classmates, although not the popularity of classmates, but in the film and television industry business is still very strong, the new Hunan TV variety show
the first period and their girlfriends papi get together with a conversation caused netizens to discuss, the program is still in accordance with the usual practice of urging to get married, papi asked jiao junyan Why now single, Jiao Junyan a helpless smile, like anxious New Year's Eve when the elders asked the object.
Papi, as a friend, also reminded Jiao Junyan never because of the age of the marriage to casually find a person to marry, must find one to their own hearts, in the process of chatting about the life order
themselves first, because they have to love themselves, if no one loves you, and they can love themselves, husband second, because you have to live with a partner for a lifetime, and then they can love you. I'm not going to be able to do that, I'm not going to be able to do that.
About the parents ranked fourth, papi also carried out some explanation, put the parents in the last place in the relationship with selfishness has nothing to do with, papi himself also told his parents, parents will raise children after the most need is to take care of their own, go to do their own want to do things, the child is already grown up, do not need to take care of their, for the child is also, do not need to spend sets of more time on them, they also need to spend sets of more time on them, they also need to take care of their own, they also need to spend sets of more time on them, they also need to spend sets of more time on them. They also need to have their own space.
Of course, this is only papi's own point of view, just this point of view is a little subversion of the traditional Chinese education in the point of view, the hundred good filial piety first, as a child should be their parents in the first place, and now the new era of women to re-relate for the relationship between the family to carry out a sort of parents into the last one, not only subverted the studio dads Observer Mission to the cognition of a crowd of netizens, but also subverted the cognitive The first is a new generation of women who have reordered their relationships with their parents.
On the Papi's this sort, sitting in the studio dads also made some sort, put the first unconditional is their own children, even some heartache in the children's heart parents actually ranked last.
Once this program was broadcast, it became a topic of controversy among netizens, there is support, there is opposition, there are many people said that such a sort of really sad, put the parents in the first place can accompany their own old age is the partner, put the child in the first place, the child will grow up to have their own family, put the partner in the first place, the heart will feel ashamed of the parents of the grace of parental upbringing.
I think papi has a saying that is particularly good, people should learn to love themselves, if one day no one loves you, and you can love yourself. I wonder if you let you to row, how would you choose?
The most important people in life sort 3In a recent issue of "my family's daughter", Papi sauce put forward a point of view that triggered a hot debate, she said, the most important sort of life, should be: oneself, partner, children, parents.
Subsequently, everyone expressed their own opinions, and some people replied that their own order is parents, children, partners, and themselves. Some people also said that their current ordering is the same as Papi Sauce's point of view, and that they used to live in confusion.
Some people put forward a different opinion, saying that it is not because parents spend less time together, less and less, more worthy of attention, prioritization? We all have our own opinions, standing in their own starting point seems to be right, guys, if you let you to rank order, how would you rank?
If it were me, how would I prioritize? Excluding all external distractions, if there was a time machine that could help me keep track of how much time and energy I spent on these people, the first priority would be my children, followed by myself, my partner, and finally my parents.
I was shocked to see this result, which was different from the order I thought it would be: children, parents, partner, and finally myself.
But, undeniably, I think my correct order should be the same as to Papi sauce's point of view, that is, self, partner, children, parents, you do not want to think how to refute me first, first listen to my reason to see if it is so.
Why should we put ourselves in the first place, from a psychological point of view, a person only love themselves will have the ability to love others, a person only accept themselves, only to have a bigger chest to accept others, so we want to be good to their own closest, the first step of the first step of acceptance of themselves, love themselves.
The P, E, T, Parent Effectiveness Training Manual tells us that the husband-wife relationship is the most important first relationship in the family, and that a good or bad husband-wife relationship will have a direct impact on the children's growth, including the children's values, their choice of spouse, and their sense of well-being, and so on, so the importance of the partner should be ranked before the children.
Hellinger's Family System Alignment also tells us that new family relationships are prioritized over old ones, so the partner relationship should come before the parents.
Confucianism, which has been practiced in China for thousands of years, advocates that filial piety is the first thing to do, so we all believe that parents should be prioritized, or even come first, as if we would be condemned morally and internally for not putting them first.
In fact, putting aside these ideological baggage, from a human point of view alone, parents of us, as we are to the child, a poem by Gibran said, your children, in fact, is not your children, they are life for their own desire to give birth to a child.
They come into the world through you, but not because of you; they are with you, but they do not belong to you. We do not belong to our parents, just as children do not belong to us.
It should be understandable that children come before parents, and we pour all our love into our children, just as our parents pour all their love into us, and this is passed down from generation to generation.
So ultimately, the logical ordering should be self, partner, children, parents, and as the reader above shared, it's only by following that ordering that life doesn't get lived in a chaotic way.
My ideal ordering is self, partner, child, parent, my imaginary ordering is child, parent, partner, self, and my real ordering is child, self, partner, parent. How can I move from reality to my ideal state? By comparison, children are too far forward in my reality and I need to improve in two ways.
1. Accept myself better and love myself better.
2. Put the partner relationship before the child, re-establish the understanding that the husband and wife relationship is the first relationship in the family, and do a good job of communicating, understanding and tolerating with his wife.