1, do not eat full which have the strength to lose weight.
2, you let me roll, I rolled, you let me back, sorry, I rolled far.
3, the explanation is to cover up, cover up is to tell a story.
4, earning the money of selling cabbages, manipulating the heart of selling white powder.
5, and then ugly to fall in love, talking about the world is full of love.
6, I like to make friends, especially girlfriends.
7, the so-called simple, long wings is an angel, no wings is an idiot.
8, adults are not comfortable, comfortable is not human.
9, when someone pretends to be cool, brother will lower his head, not brother cultivation, brother is looking for bricks.
10, the boat hit the bridge natural sinking.
11, in addition to temptation, I can resist anything.
12, take advantage of the young to do all the bad things, not a few years.
13, not in the jianghu for a long time, jianghu always have my legend.
14, love me to say it out loud, hate me to hide in the heart for life!
15, "happiness" guide: no patients at home, no relatives in jail, no enemies outside, no villain in the circle, no bad guys around, seemingly no lover, promotion, nobles, business acquaintances, laughing and philosophical people, gatherings and high people, tea and sage, domestic servants, photography and squatters, chatting with the people.
16, the piano, chess, calligraphy and painting will not, laundry and cooking is too tired.
17, you are "high" it, I was your "gas".
18, there is no impermeable wall, there is no beam that can not be hanged
19, leading cadres do not drink, a friend is not; middle-level cadres do not drink, a little information is not; grass-roots cadres do not drink, a little hope is not; cadres of the disciplinary cadres do not drink, a little clues are not; the civilian population does not drink, a little happiness is not; brotherhood does not drink, a little feelings are not; men and women do not drink, a little feelings are not; men and women are not drinking. There is no; between men and women do not drink, a little opportunity is not!
20, the people worry about housing, developers worry about the sale of housing, entrepreneurs worry about the account room, producers worry about the box office, when the official worry about the second room, corruption worry about the classroom, men worry about the private room, women worry about breasts, the elderly worry about the heart room, working people worry about the rent, hospitalized worry about the hospital room, the birth of worry about the maternity ward, the wedding worry about the new room.
21, Confucius can not solve the problem, Laozi help you solve.
22, Sister is not the square fortune-telling, nagging so many you love to hear high.
23, the officials said that set of words, experts say ghost words, businessmen say false words, stars say nonsense, the rich say crazy words, the poor say gas words.
24, the hand of his son, will be dragged away. If the son does not go, shoot stunned continue to drag away.
25, met the national football team such a man married. They care about the family, decades adhere to the Asian not out of town, such a man to cherish.
26, summer is bad, poor when even the northwest wind did not have to drink.
27, I and fat to do the fight, almost did not sacrifice.
28, I prayed to Jesus for a solid and stable life, he thought about it and said, let's talk about world peace first!
29, life is to be born, live.
Classic witticisms_Network witticisms_Witticisms book
1 If one day I become a hooligan, please tell others that I am innocent
2 Although I believe in the sea oath, but may not believe that you ah ~~
3 Life is like a play, the play is like a life, suddenly look back; the people living is a kind of pressure.
4 Trees do not want skin will die, women do not face the world invincible.
5 Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.
6 The road of life is long, there are always a few wrong steps.
I am a beast when I take off my clothes, and I am a clothed beast when I don't take off my clothes.
7 I never write the wrong word, but I write the word through.
8 It's not that I'm not careful, but I do it on purpose. I can't give you happiness, but I can give you comfort!
9 No matter how great the truth, said too much will become cliché.
10 Now I know why the pants to design pockets, it is because no one to hold my hand, self pocket to go.
11 In the public sector is called an iron rice bowl, in the private sector is called a free meal.
12 Distance produces not beauty, but a third party.
13 Who, then, wants to be buried in my family's ancestral tomb after death?
14 There is always a group of invisible friends like dead people lying in your friends list occasionally swindle corpse from time to time will change their epitaph.
15 You're happy because I'm happy, I'm happy because you're happy, I'm sad because you're skinny, I'm skinny because you're sick,
I'm smiling because you're strong, I'm rich because I sold you
pig!
16 Don't let too many yesterdays occupy your today!
17 Break up is not in love, those crowning reasons, not want to make each other better, but want to make themselves better!
18 A monk after watching the "Lust, Caution", said it is not interesting, others asked; what is not interesting, the monk said; religion is not interesting!
19 Miss, I'm sorry, I'm not handsome. But not every woman has a chance.
20 The gusty wind rolls and gathers the dark clouds, and between the dark clouds and the sea, there is a petrel, pulling the strings for us, so that we can meet here and have a twilight love~
21 It is the woman who doesn't give in the beginning, and then it is the woman who is anxious to have it!
22 Married men and women are not overjoyed.
23 Money is a black hole where affection, friendship, feelings and loyalty are lost.
24 The procedure for attending a memorial service is often to receive a profound life education, and then we smoke and drink and play cards.
25 If you're going to test my patience, get yours ready first.
26 Farmer's spring is a little sweet, women talk a little suspended.
27 Those who say there is a past life are lying to themselves; those who say there is a next life are lying to others.
28 What is life and death? To be born well, to grow old slowly, to be sick late, to die quickly.
29 If you see a shadow in front of you, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind you.
30 If there was no wind, the clouds wouldn't move;
If there was no water, the fish couldn't swim;
If there was no sun, the moon wouldn't have any light;
If there was no you
The stupid wouldn't exist.
31 Give some sunshine and I'll rot.
32 Suddenly thought of a question, by the door pinched walnuts still tonic brain?
33 Give me a girl and I can create a nation.
34 You look infertile!
35 Summer is here, girls can wear skirts, but not above the knee!
36 The newest definition of traveling: it's going from a place you're tired of to a place someone else is tired of.
37 We have a little disagreement: she wants me to turn dung into gold, I want her to see gold as dung.
38 When I turned into a swan, you are still an egg!
39 Women see no danger when they see what they like.
40 If burning a year of incense can meet you, burning three years of incense can be with you to know, burning ten years of incense can be with you to cherish.
So, for the sake of my happiness in the next life, I am willing to - convert to Christ!
41 Don't take perfume, to perfume me, you can't perfume.
42 A university campus iron fence are with pointed, the warning signs above the slogan is as follows:
Boys accidentally turn over, will become a girl
Girls accidentally turn over, will become a woman
43 Ideal is very plump, the reality is very bone-skinned.
44 If a man can be relied upon, a sow will climb a tree.
45 You know my length, I know your depth.
46 As long as we are not nasty, we are mainstream!
47 Don't fool me with 83 years of xo, come to the bottle of this year.
48 The so-called childishness is actually a touching way for adults to keep the danger of making mistakes to themselves.
49 You can lead the industry forewarned, struggle to catch up hindsight, or be eliminated without realizing it.
50 Holding a lover's hand is equal to going back to eighteen nineteen;
Holding a female classmate's hand regretted that year did not lay hands on;
Holding a sister-in-law's hand found that previously held the wrong hand.
51 Beautiful not discount sister called beautiful, sister called discount!
52 I prayed to Jesus for a solid and stable life, he thought about it and said, let's talk about world peace first...
53 The four emptiness: the boss's kidney, the script of the three speeches, the tears of the lady, the table of the Bureau of Statistics.
54 I took the floppy disk to the freezer for a day, and it turned into a hard disk! Thus, I have another hard disk.
55 I'm dorky, not right now. If you're dorkier, look down.
56 Only do not try to be a junior, there is no family that can not be broken up.
57 Your eyes are like the bright moon in the sky, one on the first day and one on the fifteenth.
58 A day does not read, no one can see, a week does not read, the beginning will be bold, January does not read, IQ lost to the pig.
59 I planted a bunch of girlfriends in the spring, and now the fall is here, tsk, actually particles of no harvest ~ ~
60 wallet, what happened to your wallet, answer me wallet, how you are thin again, wake up girl.
61 Men men really poor, work hard to earn money, bills can not be exempted, there is a lover is also dangerous.
62 I do not want to wife, but my wife always think of me.
63 How far is the thought, how far you roll; how fast is the speed of light, how fast you roll.
64 Men are good at coloring, so they can't stand the temptation; women are good at talking, so they can't stand the loneliness.
65 The real leadership does not lie in the commander-in-chief of how many gentlemen, but in how many small people harnessed.
66 In my next life, I must be reborn as a woman, and then marry a man like me.
67 Tell me, do you want to die or don't you want to live?
68 I used to eat garlic, onions and radishes in order to cultivate my aura. Now, I am covered with auras up and down, front and back.
69 Foiling a girl is like hanging QQ, coaxing her for 2 hours a day, and soon the sun will be up.
70 What's yours is mine, and what's mine is still mine!
71 If you want me to sweep the floor, you will never brush the dishes, if you want me to brush the dishes, you will never sweep the floor, do both together? You think I'm an alien!
1, death by a thousand cuts, not a handful of paste head.
2. Don't blame your pants for not being able to cross the river.
3, people than people have to die, goods than goods have to throw.
4, the nest head stepped on a foot, not a good cake!
5, has not been a soldier, has not been a bandit ah!
6, the weasel under the rat, a nest is better than a nest.
7, the crows fall on the pig, who do not say who is black.
8, the skin itch is not terrible, terrible is the heart itch!
9, empty head does not matter, the key is not into the water.
10, the meat on the stomach will only be thick, not thin.
11, garbage is exported is also exported garbage.
12, weight is like the chicken's ass, every year is growing!
13, would rather go to the wall, but not at home in the face of the wall.
14, you kid you really crazy, breath is bigger than the foot.
15, once the sea withered and rotten, can not resist the good get together and goodbye.
16, the sea of learning money as a boat, the book mountain has a road to copy the shortcut.
17. Yesterday, I took a look at you, and now my eyes still hurt.
18, 30 cents to buy two rotten eggplant, the price is not a goods.
19, as a failure of the typical, you are too successful!
20, turnip and eggplant a basket of vegetables, who's children who do not love.
21, the mountains and waters of doubt, get all the effort!
22, who delayed me for a while, I let him regret for a lifetime.
23, sleep is the best tool to test the teacher's teaching level.
24, there is no unchanging commitment, only to say endless lies.
25, the corner of your mouth thirty degrees of smile, Baidu search can not.
26, do not pull so far, who is sure you can live to that day.
27, your lung capacity is how much ah, can put the bull B blow so big.
28, I have never been cheated, because cheat me are not people.
29, riding a bicycle is not fashionable depends on whether you are really poor.
30, the sow will actually get on the tree, when the pig thinks so.
31, my ideal is to be a human soul scrubber.
32, who said that tofu shoot can not die, next time to change the frozen tofu try.
33, the early bird gets the worm, the early worm is eaten by the bird.
34, people like you in the continuous drama, at most can only live 2 episodes!
35, if you go first, don't blame me for turning my back on you when you turn around.
36, God will surely forgive me, because that is his profession.
37. Don't look for me if there's nothing going on, and don't look for me if there's something going on.
38, the world is so wonderful, but I am so impatient, not good!
39, harboring talent is like being pregnant, and it takes a long time for people to see it.
40, speak the truth, all over the body. Speaking falsehoods, full of Cherry.
41, serious resistance to Phoenix TV in the playback of commercials to interrupt the drama!
42, regret is to get when you lose when you lose but did not lose.
43, read more than ten years of school, think of the kindergarten or better mix!
44, happiness is a comparative level, to have something to cushion the bottom to feel.
45, to look at others with a harsh eye, in order to see the shamelessness of others.
46, there are many ways to destroy friendship, the most thorough one is to borrow money.
47, now the dream determines your future, or sleep a little longer!
48, God said: go out and do not forget to bring an umbrella, a moment I have to water the flowers.
49, after this village will not have this store, eat this bun will not have this filling.
50, the hand of his son, know that the son ugly, tears, son not go I go.
51, some idolatry is particularly pure, really a little acting is not.
52, no matter how bad the mud is, as long as it is turned to the wall, it can always stick out a little touch.
53, wearing other people's shoes, walk their own way, let them beat to find it.
54, can not extricate themselves, in addition to love, there are others in the ground radish.
55, life is sometimes like a computer, say dead on the dead, no discussion.
56, the highest state of the shameless is completely unaware of their own shamelessness.
57, you were born was not thrown up 3 times and only caught 2 times?
58, the jerk is the continuation of the dream, the ideal incarnation of a toast to the jerk!
59, love me to say it out loud! Hate me on a lifetime hidden in the heart!
60, God, you let the summer and winter in the same room, right? The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal of money to pay for your purchase.
61, recently the work is not outstanding, performance is not outstanding, lumbar disc a little prominent.
62, marriage is the grave of love, love more, I want to go to the grave to sleep.
63, wash the heart is not much, wash the feet of the street. Virtue of the rare, beauty of the full country.
64, sleep is an art who can not stop me from the pursuit of art.
65, I eat every day in addition to the time all in the weight loss, you still say I have no perseverance?
66, if your ugly can generate electricity, the world's nuclear power plants can stop.
67, you think I will stand by and watch you go to your death? I will close my eyes!
68, Chinese soccer every day is April Fool's Day, spend tens of dollars to see a game, fake.
69, the world is a large doll machine, I separated from the glass window, only want you.
70, if I do the personnel manager, the first thing is to promote themselves to be the boss.
71, you can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig.
72, the old lady on the Naiho Bridge are sold on Pepsi, how do you ask me to forget you?
73, life is like an electrocardiogram, want to smooth sailing without ups and downs, unless you die.
74, I know, the world is not scattered feast, but, at least, the feast I have to eat cool!
75, interesting people eight sides, know the person who is wise, know the person who is wise, know the person who is miserable all his life.
76, I can think of the most romantic thing is that you get older every day, and I am still young.
77, the reason why life is short, is because when you live, forget, and when you die, you realize.
78, my name in my girlfriend's cell phone is him, after the breakup, I became it.
79, when in love, we promised to be married again in the next life, and after marriage, we often suspect that we have created a sinful relationship in our previous life.
80, singing the praises of the cow, because of the milk. The reason for praising the sheep is because of the memory of the lamb.
81, I test a person sexy or not the only standard is: eat more or less, eat fragrant or not.
82, bought a computer not on the broadband, it is like wine and meat are ready but before dinner as a monk.
83, the book has its own Yan Ruyu, I want to read for the occurrence or maintenance of improper relations with a number of women!
84, I want a man like King Kong to stand in the tallest building in the United States for me to go jerk me off.
85, in fact, I do not know how to tell jokes, but there are always people who let me tell one, I have not told it, you guys laughed.
86, boss, money is really so important to you? I've been talking about it for more than three hours and I haven't dropped a penny.
Love witticisms
1, love a person is so difficult, the farthest you are my most recent love, my one-world tie, because you and the heart of the mind, my life's greatest happiness is to have you on my side.
2, the weather forecast: tonight to tomorrow morning a little think of you, is expected to turn in the afternoon to continue to think of you, by the impact of this low mood, the evening will turn to a big to stormy think of you, the mood is reduced by five degrees, it is expected that this type of weather will continue to see you.
3, like a person, there is no pain. Love a person, there may be prolonged pain, but he gave me the joy, but also the world's greatest joy.
4. Don't believe in roses. This thing is expensive and easy to wither. If you want to believe in my three tears that are 100 degrees Celsius higher - I love you! As long as you give me a glass of water every day, I can flow for you every day!
5, water in the flow, fish swimming, love you do not need a reason; the wind is blowing, the rain is falling, would like to hold you to kiss; the sky has love, the ground has love, romantic, okay?
6. There are no other problems with being single, only the problems of beautiful bachelorettes and unbeautiful bachelorettes.
7, only torture themselves is unrequited love, only torture others is sadism, both torture others more torture themselves is love.
8, the temperature of love is like bath water, not the hotter the better, but they feel comfortable only good.
9, the majority of young people into the family just to enter the cave this moment, really is for the continuation of the great goal, I am afraid that one hundred not pick one.
10, every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the mountain, so the world has the Great Wall.
11, do you like me? If you like me, then press, press again, you really like me ah! I said I like me before I press. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that! I didn't expect you to like me so much, so touched! I'm so touched! I also like you ah.
12, if there are ten thousand people in the world who love you, there must be me, if there is only one person in the world who loves you, that person must be me, if there is no one in the world who loves you, that must be me dead.
13. One thousand roses for you, you have to love yourself. A thousand paper cranes for you, let the trouble away from you. A thousand lucky stars for you, let the good luck around you. A thousand pistachios for you, so that happy to accompany you. A thousand meteors for you, I don't believe I can't kill you!
14, the most bleak most people are not you know, the moment of loss of love, but you are still wandering, do not know has been lost.
15, men and women in the emotional aspect of the biggest difference is the order of the problem, the former is from the bottom to the top, the latter is from the top to the bottom. A lot of misunderstandings are originated from this kind of base.
16, the night of the moon is the most beautiful, the night of the stars is the most moving, we say good looking at the moon, look at the meteor shower, in the meteors across the moment, we made a wish: cherish each other until forever!
17, love has not yet come, the day is carefree; the most painful, but also the tests and exams. At that time, I felt a lot of pressure, and later looked back, but how tiny.
18, loneliness is not inherent, but by the moment you fall in love with a person.
19, the groom: a person who is amazing at weddings unless he doesn't show up and shows up. This kind of person is often undergoing a glorious journey from slave to general.
20, if the sun does not come out, I will not go to work; if it comes out, I will continue to sleep!
21, if a man takes the initiative, women tend to choose to be reserved; if a man plays dumb, the woman is back to give tips; if a man or really do not understand, the woman will be disappointed or leave.
22, I'm still waiting for you in the same place, but you have forgotten to have been here.
23, friends don't lose heart, without her is not less sleep on the bed, the kitchen less cooking.
24, marriage is to give freedom to wear a piece of cotton, activities are not convenient, but will be very warm.
25, there are you happy to save heart, to you sincerely infatuation, for you to worry about pain, but also had a sad drunken heart, do not dare to change heart heart, do not be more heart suspicious, write it I am very laborious, the most afraid that you are heartless.
26, love is nothing but a pair of poison, its biggest side effect, not to make people become a fool, but rather incorrigible, but also do not want the antidote.
27, baby baby I love you, like a mouse loves rice, you are the wind in the sky phoenix fly ah fly, I am the jackal on the ground to chase ah chase, I do not hit you also do not scold you, I torture you with feelings.
28, marriage license: so that a woman legally driving slave a man or by a woman driving slave know how to drive license.
29, some people are destined to wait for others, some people are destined to be waited for.
30, you are a little aura, I'm a little silly, you're a little showy, I'm a little rustic you're a little fragrant, I'm a little drunk, if you're angry, I will not lose my temper.
31, before marriage, I hope your is mine, my is yours. After marriage surely yours is mine, mine is yours. After the divorce you or your I or my.
32, sitting alone in the Acacia chair, holding the Acacia pen, looking at the Acacia moon, writing the Acacia letter, sentence Acacia language, drops of Acacia tears, all Acacia you, the sky is blue and the sea is deep, love you is true!
33, the man in the cause of failure after the idea of marriage, women in the man's career success when the idea of marriage with him.
34, the distance between the two points straight line is the shortest, the distance between the two love love is the shortest.
35, the more y loved by his wife, the more mature husband, the more pampered husband's wife is more immature.
36, ten thousand water dry mountain is always love, love me a lifetime line, dry miles of marriage to meet, walking turned out to be so tired!
37, love and like the difference is very simple, if you love the flower you will give it water, like it will take it off!
38, karma, karma, karma, is not something we can control. What we can do is to cherish the short time when the karma meets.
39, looking forward to every time the sky full of stars. But the appearance of this sight is fantasy. Day by day pining, this irreparable ground when to move the sky, when to move the ground, when to move you!
40, love is a lot of effort to put the whole body, and then a hundred turns to pull out!
41, when the day is once again the night pressed over the bed, the sun was born.
42, you moon, I earth, steadfastly hold you go, I use the phone to send a confession, send a request for love, please allow me to be born to look at you fondly, hand in hand everywhere.
43, five hundred years ago, you are our family's long work, that day in the window to peep at you chopping wood posture, I like you, you can not blame me for not telling you at that time! Because there was no short message at that time!
44, the bride: a night by the girl into a woman. A month later by the woman into a maid of misfortune.
45, with you said how many times, the night to be careful, do not go out, you just do not listen, this is not, last night and ran into my dream, so that I do not want to wake up!
46, I am a party, people see people love, flowers see flowers open, car see car burst tires! Every walk on the street, not handsome turn back, is a beautiful woman jumped!
47, love is actually a habit, you are used to living with him, he is used to career with you. I'm not sure what I'm talking about, but I'm not sure what I'm talking about, and I'm not sure what I'm talking about.
48, some people say that women like to lie; if a woman can extract royalties from the story fabricated, it is easy to get rich.
49, to do the girl must be up to the lies, love the perfunctory, tolerate the deception, forget the promise, put down everything, and finally with a smile to camouflage your tearful eyes!
50, love to end when it will end, by then, you do not want to draw a period can not.
51, girlfriend before quite low self-esteem, so I spared no effort to guide her, the result is that now she is confident, can not see me!
52, a long time ago, mankind found that the fate of this thing is really wonderful ah, when you and I met online, our encounter is the classic in the classic, we meet, okay?
53, if you are a fish, then I am the hook, I want to fish you; if you are a small mountain, then I am the river on the side of the mountain, I want to go around you; if you are a bun, then I am a bowl of mutton soup, I want to soak you.
54, see your smile is the world's happiest, see your tears is the world's most reminiscent of, see your anger is the world's most unforgettable, but can not see your message is the world's most pitiful!
55, if marriage is the grave of love, then, if there is no marriage, love will die without a burial place.
56, love is a disease, must be treated with marriage. Marriage is a disease, must be treated with divorce. Divorce is a disease that must be cured by death.
57, dream words: lovers will speak in the daytime, the husband will speak words at night.
58, if you take advantage of women, please do not be complacent, if convenient, a moment she will come to clean you up.
59, if we can not change the ending, then go to perfect the process.
60, if the woman's heart is hard up, simply even nails can not be knocked in.
61, love can certainly break all kinds of barriers; however, money can break all kinds of love!
62, after the breakup of the relationship; can not do friends, because each other hurt, can not do enemies, because each other y loved.
63, go the fastest is the most beautiful scenery, hurt the deepest is the most true feelings!
64, in love, like a grandson, obedience; engaged, like a son, learn to talk back; married, like a son, giving orders.
65, if a drop of water falls from the sky, it is the tears I want you to shed. If two drops of water fall from the sky, that is I love you and heartbreak. If countless drops of water fall from the sky, what does the idiot think? It's raining!
66, a man's image is only a use: bubble MM. so once the MM bubble to the hand, the MM will be very sad to find that the man no longer image can be said.
67, the men are love streaming, but if a streaming woman, men are afraid to worship the wind.
68, men often hope that they are the object of a woman's first love, women want to become the last romantic history of men.
69, disappointment, sometimes is a kind of happiness, because there are expectations so will be disappointed. Because there is love, there will be expectations, so even if the disappointment, but also a kind of happiness, although this happiness is a little painful.
70, if there is a choice, I want to be a cat, can be in the sunshine pampering, I must be a lazy cat! But I will definitely go online, because I want to be pampered in your arms.
71, the excess of love, there are only two seasons: lovely and unlovely; the night sky of love, there are only two voices: lucky and unlucky; the road of love, there are only two kinds of scenery: mine and ours.
72, the most gratifying thing for women is to frustrate the conceit of men, and the most gratifying thing for men is to fulfill the conceit of women.
73, the wall blooms outside the wall red, to pick flowers road is not accessible. If you want to access the flower to thank, a joy a empty.
74, I love you all my life, this is true, please believe me, you are my only, life is missing you can not, your heart only I understand best, your eyes most tender. To understand my heart, please look at the third word of each sentence!
75, I want to send you roses, but unfortunately the price is too expensive, I want to send you comfort, but unfortunately did not learn, I want to send you a ring, but unfortunately still in the safe, I have to send a message to put you, chasing hope that we never blow.
76, you know, I hate you, because you steal my heart, rob my love, cheat my love, and will dominate the rest of my life, the most hate you, and waste me a dime cell phone bill!
77, love you a little sad! I paid my heart, as always. Why do you still have to create a reason to be at a loss? Is my promise still not resounding enough, persistent or not long enough? Love you are destined to suffer a lot of injuries. The only beautiful love should not be bleak!
78, if I turn into a yellow soil, the grass is green for you, yellow flowers are fragrant for you; if I turn into a stream of clear water, the fish is for you to dance, spring is for you to sing.
79, I made a wish in front of the Buddha, I hope that the seat of a small tree, standing in the roadside you pass every day. I will love and miss hanging all over the branches, hoping that one day you will fall in love with me!