1. We still have mementos of our last love affair
Believe us, we're not still heartbroken over that asshole who slept with our BFF, much less still hung up on them ...... but we do save the love letters they wrote to us when we were 17, the items we bought on our love trips as a reminder of our romantic past, and our eventual passing of youth. But we'll save the love letters they wrote to us when we were 17, the items we bought on our love trips, as a way of honoring our own romantic past and the youth we'll eventually lose.
2. We secretly hate you guys ......
because you don't have to be tortured by menstrual cramps once a month, much less hollering at the world to have a baby! Of course, we also know that it's God's plan and not your men's fault.
3. We're all mummies
Don't you feel the same way? Look at what we wear: a variety of straps, a variety of padding, a variety of lines, plus 80% of the non-breathable nylon, 18% of the elastane, 2% of the cotton blend of shapewear ...... from the bra to the bottom of the pants, from the insoles to the toe bandage, we are like being wrapped up tight mummy, and always enduring all kinds of constraints and uncomfortable! Think of us dressed as mummies, but also with you men as in the workplace fight, in the home laundry cooking ...... woman is really not easy, if you do not properly love us, heaven and earth.
4. We know all about your online secrets.
First of all, it's not that we're psychologically shady and always want to pry into your privacy. We're often inadvertently uncovering your deepest, darkest online secrets, and it's really not our fault. Please recall, is your QQ set to auto-login, password automatically saved in your computer? Did you leave your computer on when you were away from home and forget to log out of QQ? Honey, you can only blame yourselves for being careless. The most important thing is that if your chatting content is visible to us, then even if we see it once or twice by chance, there is nothing to be annoyed about, right?
5. When we say we don't want gifts
We're flat-out lying. We want gifts! We want gifts all the time! We want all kinds of gifts! But while we're ecstatic and mesmerized by our gifts, we're even more impressed by the thought and care that went into giving them.
6. We use holidays as an excuse.
Every day we talk about other women, this wear too cool, that wear too dense. We ourselves, whenever the holiday season is approaching will secretly start to do preparations, hanging in the depths of the closet usually can not wear the strange sexy clothes out, the more innovative the better! Someone says we're dressing out of style? Blame it on the holidays! We have to celebrate Valentine's Day, April Fool's Day, Women's Day, Youth Day, Thanksgiving ...... and all sorts of other festivals!
7. We are sometimes crazy
Occasionally, when we are alone, we will sing out loud, we will dance randomly, we will make some amazing moves, believe it or not, some difficult moves even Venus and Yang Liping can't do it!
8. We pretend to ......
Pretend to do all sorts of things, including the following, but it never stops there: being summoned by our idols; showing off our cooking skills on stage; and singing our own stories in every love song! ......
9. We spend a lot of time in the shower
Taking a shower is our way of escaping from what's right in front of us. We take long showers so that you can babysit for a while, so that you don't have to answer your mother-adult's phone calls, and so that you don't have to wash that big pile of dishes soaking in the sink for a while ......
10. We also spend way too much time on this thing... ...
We scrutinize our face in the mirror over and over again. We know every pore, every blackhead, every sunspot, every hair that grows in the wrong place, and every newfound fine line. Then we spend the rest of the night thinking about them a thousand times.
11. We're constantly rehearsing wars in our heads
Including wars with you, wars with your mom, wars with your sister-in-law, wars with the "enemy of the girl"... ...There are so many imaginary enemies that the brain is often too busy to rehearse.
12. For us, shopping is not just about "shopping" or "shopping", but also about .......
It is called "mission". There are many, many, many missions to fulfill!
13. We have our own obsessions
We are obsessed with a lot of things, including obsessed with some kind of queen model, obsessed with some kind of deep life wisdom, obsessed with the gesture of a man with a cigarette ...... In short, a lot.
14. When you ask us if the jewelry we're wearing is new,......
We'll argue "it's new" and complain that you don't care about us. We would argue, "It's not new," and complain that you don't care about us, and that you never noticed us wearing this jewelry before. And we'd sneak a peek to see if the price tag had come off.
15. We enjoy being loved by you guys
Catch us, kiss us hard, and send us intimate text messages ...... We often pretend that we don't like these tricks, but we love them! Seriously, no lie!
16. We can be very obnoxious.
We can eat cake battered all over the face, we can cry uncontrollably a handful of tears a handful of snot paste in your clothes, we can also pick up a random thing on the stuff into the mouth to taste the flavor ...... of course, to maintain a consistent and elegant posture.
17. We're often crazy about you guys
This can be interpreted two ways, y'know haha. Sometimes it means we're still obsessed with you guys and can get all hot and bothered by you; other times it means ...... are pissed off at you guys to the point of freaking out.
18. We'll pretend we're the heroine of a romantic movie.
A common problem with women is that they are touched by themselves.
19. We snoop on our ex's Facebook
Not just Facebook, but all sorts of other social media tools. We don't do it because we still love them, but because we want them to be miserable and grow old in endless loneliness. It's like that famous line: I'm relieved to know you're not doing well.
20. Our *** is fierce.
You men are not the only ones who are *** surging and booming. Our seemingly weak bodies can also explode with amazing energy, but only if you're worth it! You have to be worth burning for you. Like this post? Share this post for more people to see~
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