Homosexuality, the Demon King Archangel, family, children, and the six heavens and six prisons and the indelible hatred ......
Thousands and thousands of years have passed, and he is at this end, and I am at that end. The two ends of the birth, we stand each other into the shore.
In a flash the eyes meet, cast a lifetime of unforgettable. It haunts me and exists in my sleep, in my memory, all the time.
The taller the lonelier, the lonelier you can be, the higher the lonelier you are.
2.
The flower language of Manzanita is ominous, separation, and ...... sad memories.
Manjushava, the flower of the other shore. Legend has it that it was the favorite flower of Lucifer, the Demon King.
Later, Jesus asked me, if your life could stand still at a certain moment, when would you choose? Would it be during the time of Lucifer or the vice-king or the time of the able angels?
The heavenly realm at the moment, that's a sea change, a sea change.
I smiled back at him and I shook my head.
I am happy with my life now. Your Highness Jesus, if you have time to go to the Demon Realm, you will see that there are large swaths of Manzanita there. Day by day they grow stronger and sadder.
There are things that disappear, and there are things that are eternal.
Manjusri is sin.
Beautiful, sultry, and despite its despair, it still gives off the fragrance of the poppy.
Like the simple wishes of youth, and impossible vows.
Like you standing on the other shore, and I standing on this shore.
Still makes people wait, and makes people crazy.
3.
Always remember that there is such a person, he is very good-tempered, very few words.
But no matter what he says, even if it is gentle, it is like receiving an imperial decree.
They were afraid to annoy him.
Actually, he would never lose his temper with me.
If he is really holding his breath, he will put one hand on me in his sleep, and I will put my whole leg on him in order to fight back, and finally you press me and I press you, and I can't bear to yell out first, and he still behaves innocently.
Eating a muffled loss, I do not know how to deal with, riding on him with his head to hit him, he held my head, the two rolled over and over on the bed. The broken hair left on his shoulder, he would pick it off for me.
Even in a lot of people, I will be with him eye to eye, people look at all straight roar nausea.
He had a very small heart and would take my hand and hold me close when I fell.
He would turn into a little child to please me and cook for me getting his hands full.
He would hand me little notes to make up when I was angry.
He liked to clasp fingers and touch foreheads with me.
I always remembered that there was this one person who would make it so hard for me to even look at him when he was sad and crying.
I remember his smile, but not his face.
Now I suddenly want to ask him if he is as happy as before.
I once heard someone say that memories are a bridge, but a prison to loneliness.
Would love to tell him to never, ever be like Lucifer, or I'll have a hard time.
4.
After ten million years, I moved and lived in the Hall of Light and Glory where Lucifer once lived. Looking at the frescoes that filled the hall, looking out the window at the emptiness and emptiness, looking at the light between the white clouds and blue sky, and then turning back, looking at a sketch that hung in the middle of the frescoes. The painting of a teenager holding a pillow, lying in front of the bed, short curly hair some broken mess, pure and quiet. The paper was a little worn, a little blurry. But every sketch, every trace, seems to record the thoughts across thousands of years and thousands of years.
5.
There are two kinds of sins in human beings, the original sin and the original sin.
The original sin is the sin that each person commits in this life.
Original sin is that which is inherent in all human beings and from which they cannot be absolved.
Man is born a sinner before God.
Even an infant who dies right after birth, although he or she has not committed any sin, is still a sinner because of his or her inherent original sin.
God said, "You are only an archangel, but you are trying to change the heavenly realm, which is your original sin.
God said, you are my proud son, but you fall in love with the Demon King again and again, this is your original sin.
Love is the only thing we can take with us, says God, and it makes death so easy.
6.
"There are a lot of things I've been dying to tell you, good and bad, for years now. But every single one of them will be a burden to you. I want you, but what's more important is that you're happy. Can you understand me?"
My mind went blank and I just nodded.
Lucifer's eyes suddenly reddened.
"Let me give you a kiss, okay?"
I still nodded mechanically.
Lucifer smiled slightly and gently cupped the back of my head, his fingers digging into my hair.
Snowflakes fluttered like jade butterflies, and there was the faint sound of ice shattering on the glass windows.
He slowly leaned in and covered my lips with his.
The tranquil hall seemed to echo with the sound of the piano.
It was the sound of snowflakes and souls breaking.
He stopped on my lips, quiet, without intrusion. It was as if he wanted to maintain the motion until the sea and the earth were gone.
7.
Lucifer, I know you're happy now.
I know that you and your wife, your son, are in perfect harmony.
You have developed the Demon Realm into an ideal land that everyone aspires to, and your people love you more than they do themselves.
So much so that missing me is nothing.
I have long been able to bravely face the loss of you, and have long been accustomed to thinking of you with a smile on a night alone.
Lucifer, I only wish you more and more happiness.
8.
Anyone who knows me knows that I misbehave. Even after many years, Gabriel would coldly tell me that the night you caught Lucifer, you lost all your temperament and image, like a madman.
I would always smile back at her and not reply.
In front of Lucifer, don't say acting out of character. The lack of insanity was already a sign that my emotional intelligence was high enough.
Lucifer wasn't with me at that time.
And I had long since gotten used to it.
Time passed too quickly, so quickly that memories disappeared and could not be retained.
I am really trying to remember him with all my heart, very, very hard.
But gradually, I realized that about him, even the taste of happiness is forgotten. All I can remember is this feeling of desperately trying to remember him.
The little girl who likes to fantasize would always say to me, "Your Highness Michael, that's called longing".
Everyone in the world knew I was thinking about him.
But he didn't know.
He'll never know.
9
"What's real and what's not, just because it's my reality doesn't mean it's not your dream ......"
10.
The misty, floating clouds of the bedchamber remain, and the thousands of miles of window golden light remains, the bright imperial sanctity remains.
Even the light and shadows that penetrated to the ground were exactly as they had been at the beginning.
A piece of light, a few shadows, confused, as if it were a lifetime ago.
11.
The thousand years of sunset and sunset seem to be like flotsam
Life from the splendor of the bland
and then from the bland tends to be even more bland
The long road a person walks through
Not only to understand how short it is
12.
That there was a prosperity and dreams, little by little to save in the heart.
That prosperity and dreams that were once there are saved up in the heart.
The stars in the sky, the eyes on the ground.
The fog disperses, the dream wakes up, I finally see the reality, that is the silence of a thousand sails.
13.
I don't know from when onwards, the journey of life has become a kind of torture, take a step, the road behind the disappearance of a step, there is no way back. There are times when you know it will be even more painful to go on like this, but you still have to tell yourself to go on.
14.
He was very close to me, his eyes dark with crimson, so bright that he could see his own shadow.
I was smiling in his eyes, the corners of my eyes curved, clear and bright.
In the mirror, the bustle and clamor of Jerusalem was forgotten. I looked into the fire mirror and gazed at him, trying to wipe the rain off the mirror. But it was raining too hard, hitting the mirror in dense clusters. Droplets of water fell down his cheeks, like he was laughing through tears.
I stopped wiping, and just carefully and gently stroked the mirror. It was like passing through this thin glass and caressing his cheek. It was like finally crossing the distance of millions of light years and touching the unreachable lover.
15.
Want to see you.
You reign supreme in heaven and earth, you control the destiny and dominate the ending, you stand proudly in the rising winds.
You are on the other side of the world, at the end of time and space.
And in this moment, I suddenly remembered many, many things, but had nothing to do with any of them.
Thousands of years ago, outside the balcony of Sigma, you smiled at me.
Thinking of you smiling at me outside the balcony of Rodeooga six months ago.
Over time, over space.
All sentimentality always leaves a trail of joy.
All the regrets, will always leave a perfect corner.
Perhaps there has been a long and bone-deep pain, perhaps once countless times want to give up, but now finally understand, you bring me happiness, but also the world's greatest joy.
Lucifer, is it too late to start over?
16.
In the center of the city of Jerusalem, two statues of the right wing of the God of Heaven used to be placed. One was casually elegant, leaning over. One was majestic and dignified, holding a holy sword.
And at this moment, I stood straight, actually in the same position as the statue. Above the demon realm, below the heavenly realm.
Vaguely, confused, I seemed to see a sea of flowers.
In the midst of the demonic Manjusri, Lucifer walked towards me, still looking the same as he did when we were reunited, his stunning splendor lighting up the starry sky of the Magic City.
He pointed to the heavens, his gaze shifting to me.
He said, Isael, can you see it? Directly below those seven stars is the Snow Moon Forest. Want to go there and see it?
I nodded my head vigorously.
He put his hand out and gave me a small smile. Here, he said, give me your hand.
Black and white gloves folded over each other, and I smiled openly, took his hand, and flew out the door. Behind them the Demons and the Gods stood in one piece, cheering and leaping, their laughter echoing under the stars of Rhode Ogah and through the smoke clouds of St. Furya, like a blessing at a wedding, accompanied by the centuries tolling, the bells of happiness.
17.
Crouching in the same corner of the window, in the same position, looking at the same Milky Way under my eyes, I suddenly lost sleep. The bottom of the Milky Way is the Red Sea, the bottom of the Red Sea is a piece of heaven and earth, and the deepest part of the heaven and earth is the place where he lives. Think about the fact that we are not far away from each other. I would like to know how he is now ...... should be very happy.
I wonder if he will occasionally remember me.
Golden light under the long hair down, like a very long sealed pearl red, some piercing.
Facing the ancient but ornate city wall, on which the vicissitudes of a thousand years are vaguely engraved.
For whom to wither, for whom to pine.
A thousand years of memories, a thousand years of frost.
18.
Thinking of the feast of Eros, dazzling lights and wine, light and fog.
Thinking of the three questions asked by Azazel.
Thinking of Lucifer standing in the red light and black mist, so quiet he almost lost his breath amidst the clamor of the crowd. The only movement he made then was to tug at his glove and then clench his entire right hand.
It wasn't that he didn't believe me, it wasn't blind faith in the instructions of the pentagram, it wasn't overconfidence in his own black magic, it was that the answers I gave were lies. Every question Azazel asked was something that had happened before, and Lucifer knew all but the last.
Until Azazel asked, do you love Medanzo.
And my answer made me look like a liar who is trying desperately to hide when it is clearly revealed.
Thinking of our merrymaking on the balcony. He always knew what kind of trauma and destruction I would bring to him, so the look of utter beauty as he raised his head was as beautiful and fragrant as a yoho blossom at night.
The blossom was a flash in the pan, a moment of absolute splendor.
Lucifer had always been a bit of a narcissist, he loved every part of his body.
He had beautiful hands, and when he played the piano, his fingers were so beautiful they were like melodies flowing out.
The most despairing thing in life is not death, but waiting for it.
19.
By the seventh gate, I couldn't take my eyes off the goalposts.
On both the left and right side was the same man, the once beautiful shining cinnabar, now Satan's chief, the king of the demon world, Lucifer.
The left and right sides were dressed differently, the left in battle attire and the right in feast attire. Lucifer on the left hangs his cloak and holds his scepter in his hand, looking off into the distance. Lucifer on the right is dressed in a lapel frock coat and wears a thin chain on his head, the chain is of different lengths and hangs down on his long hair, which is particularly eye-catching. His eyes were half-open, and his eyes were flirtatious. Movements more and more elegant and noble at the same time, but also more and more casual and lazy.
Then I heard an all-too-familiar voice.
"Isael."
The whole thing froze. I stood still for a moment.
The voice was warm and soft and gentle, a sound that struck deep into the heart, "Isael, look back, I'm right behind you."
Mammon said, "Still no voice?"
I didn't dare move. I knew that one was fake, an illusion ......
"I miss you. Let's make up, okay?"
"We'll make up, and then we'll have our own baby. Just the two of us."
"Isael, come back to me."
I looked at the statue of Lucifer in front of me, knowing full well that it was fake. But, after all these years, no moment would ever be happier than now.
Looking at his face and listening to his voice ...... was very much like dreaming.
Mammon walked through the last door, turned his head to look at me, panicked, "Do not look back, do not answer, that is false!" I nodded and smiled calmly, "I know."
Mammon said, "Come on in then."
I said, "Just a few more minutes, let me listen a little longer. Trust me, I'm wide awake. I won't turn around and answer."
I was sober. Always sober. I'm sober enough to know that as soon as I turn around, as soon as I answer, it will all go away. So I wouldn't do that. Even if it was an illusion, I heard the words I most wanted to hear.
Yes, I heard it all.
Make up, fine. I'm not like you anyway, you small-minded old man.
I sigh and shake my head helplessly.
Of course I want to, how can I not. Every moment of every day I think about it. What do you think I am, heartless.
Mammon said, "My Archangel, what are you doing? Giggling all by yourself."
I made a "shh" motion and waved my hand expansively.
I know, it was a misunderstanding. You're with her because of me, right? Honey, I love you more than I can say, how can I blame you?
Well, well. I know.
I looked at the stone pillar in front of me and nodded with a smile.
Lucifer, I heard it all ...... I love you too.
20.
Lucifer had been up all night and fell asleep on the couch in the early hours of the morning. Her long hair was silky and fell to the floor, framing her beautiful face.
With powers that can manipulate the world, I moved the bedding from his room and covered him.
Lucifer, I look at you now.
Even now, I still feel that you love me.
21.
"Say something, will you?" Lucifer patted his face, "Just one sentence, okay?"
"I haven't heard your voice in so many years."
"Even a smile would be nice, just one."
"Good girl, do as you're told and smile, huh? "
The raindrops hit the window, getting heavier and heavier, engulfing the empire in a mist.
"Isael ......" Lucifer cradled his head, his body curling slightly, "I regret it now ...... Why didn't I stop you at that time? Why did I let you encounter such a thing?"
Nightwind Airstorm was crying and sighing in pain.
"I'm sorry ...... I'm sorry." The voice was near tears. "Isar, you said that you can do anything if you try. I just want you to say one thing to me, promise me ...... Okay?"
Michael didn't wake up.
Lucifer stopped talking, his eyes bloodshot and the tip of his nose red.
There was something in his heart. He was the Demon King.
There was something wrong for a big man to be sad like this over a child's love. But while complaining in his heart, it was so hard to see his appearance that he wanted to shed tears himself.
22.
He said, yes, this is human nature. Selfishness is the anesthetic of human nature, sin is like a heavy burden, throw away all guilt and fall.
He said, greed, vanity, pride ...... is my favorite original sin.
No one will be a winner forever, he said.
He said that it is better to be a king in hell than a slave in heaven!
He pulled back his shirt in front of me, revealing his bare chest, and the blood-red roses on the snowy whites.
He smiled, he said, he said ......
Yes, I am evil, but I am sincere. I tell you sincerely that no one can refuse me. I tell you sincerely, even if you are a noble archangel, I will drag you down with me.
He tilted his jaw proudly in front of me, his smile contemptuous and desperate.
23.
Lucifer,
Just saying his name
makes you feel really, really strong.
Chanting that name,
At once, the pain was forgotten.
Just call out his name,
and you won't feel afraid.
24
You ask me, I his mother ask who?
25
The world changed into a cloister at that moment. It was empty, as if Mammon was long gone, and only the sound of Beryl crying alone remained.
Mocked since childhood.
Inferiority complex, but always like to pretend to be fearless.
Knowing that you are small, but always tell yourself that you are omnipotent.
It's a good thing that you're not a big fan of this kind of thing, because it's a good thing that you're not a big fan of this kind of thing.
One at a time, I put down my pride and begged for more, but it wasn't love.
He is very gentle, but refuses to give you his heart.
Pretend you are having a good time, just don't want him to blame himself, don't want to be his burden.
Because it's not pleasing to the eye, he's always doing something over the top, just trying to get attention. But as a result, it was even more annoying and really childish and willful.
It's hard to say something like that.
It's lonely, very lonely.
Walking alone, I finally found a light in the deep darkness of the cave.
That glimmer of light, however, was never their own.
In the end, he tells you plainly, I never loved you.
Belial's experience really seems like I've seen it somewhere.
It was pitch black inside the temple, and outside was the light that penetrated the heavens and the earth, shining into the great hall head on, like hope for the Jedi.
And the cloisters were empty.
Belial crouched in a huddled crouch, shrinking into a tiny ball.
He tried to hug himself, like he was afraid to be seen. Like he wished he'd hurry up and disappear.
The wing, dark and missing half of it, wasn't pretty at all. It was helplessly attached to his body, crying out to him. It was like asking him,
Why am I superfluous?
Belial could no longer cry, and his eyes stared blankly into the distance.
The bustling Rodeooga, the noble Pandemonium, the place he had always longed for.
26
I nodded and propped my hands on the windowsill, whispering, "Your Majesty, Rodeooga is clearly below the Six Hells, so how is it that you can see the stars
?" Lucifer laughed, "Of course you can't see the true stars from here. What you see is all cast by sorcery, an illusion of the sky
sky of the First Prison." I said, "Illusions? What's the point of that ...... always should have known it was fake." Lucifer said, "A vision is better than nothing
, isn't it."
I nodded in confusion, that's true. It was like that dream that lasted two years and held on for a thousand years.
27
There really wasn't a moment when I could have been as persistent as I am now.
Previously, the wavering was because Lucifer held a very important place in the heart.
And now he was still there.
It's just that, with less favoritism for him, my scales are completely tipped in the heavenly realm.
I think for him, even the cheating, the betrayal, the playing, the lies. Everything, I think, I can try to forgive.
The only thing I can't forgive is that he has someone else in his heart. Not even, ever love.
28
God said that my original sin was falling in love with Lucifer, over and over again.
But he didn't tell me that I myself was the original sin.
Since I was born, what was a separate God split into three parts.
One God the Father, and two sons of God.
Jehovah, the God who controls the greatest power in the entire universe, who loves the world selflessly and y, and who created all things.
Jesus, the light emanating from the glory of God, the Savior in whom all beings believe, the messenger from heaven, born for salvation.
Michael, the son of sin, bearing all the feelings that God should not have. God's original sin.
29
Shanta Bong took out a book and handed it to me, "My book."
A very thick book, with a gold cover and silver lettering that simply reads the title, Holy Miracles.
I gave them a quizzical look and flipped open the hard cover, a line written on the snowy white paper:
Only this book, to our great Highness, Michael. As well as his lover, His Majesty Lucifer, the Demon King. --Shanta Bong
Slowly clenching my teeth so no one can see. I look up, smile at them, and turn another page. This page hides a line:
Whether it be the past, the present, or the future, whether it be the meeting of the ancient and the future, the edge of the real and the dream, the solid wall of the electric dialing of the years,
The face that time illuminates. Heaven and hell, I have finally found eternity, the holy sign of you and me. --Lucifer