I don't know when it started, but anxiety seems to be a modern epidemic, as if it's not normal not to be anxious.
So what exactly is anxiety? The Baidu encyclopedia explains that anxiety is a kind of irritability arising from excessive worry about the safety of loved ones or one's own life, future destiny, etc. In the end, anxiety is a kind of emotion. In the end, anxiety is a kind of emotion, and this emotion stems from the worry about the future of the things that have not yet happened. I remember a psychologist said that the best state for a person is not to worry about the future, not to be sad about the past, and to live honestly and truly in the present. Obviously, for most people, this is a very difficult thing to do.
No matter what position you're in, there are all kinds of worries. As a boss, you may worry about the company's poor performance, the company can not function properly; as an employee, you may worry about their own work performance is not false, at any time you may face unemployment; as a parent, you may be worried because they can not give their children to provide good educational resources lead to the children's lack of competitiveness in the community in the future; as a child, you may worry about their parents are old, not good health, and no one around them to In short, as long as we are human beings, we will inevitably have worries, and once these worries overly disturb our lives, we will produce anxiety.
Today's era, the individual will be anxious, and I belong to the kind of people who are particularly prone to anxiety, so for many years I have tried a variety of ways to ease their anxiety, such as closing the circle of friends, delete the public number, and then, for example, to do meditation, practicing yoga, change the idea of traveling, walking and so on, but I found that all of these can not be from the root of the alleviation of my anxiety, in addition to a method of : action.
My mom is someone who has never known anxiety.
She doesn't like to play with her grandchildren, nor does she like to dance, her biggest hobby is to work, and although she's past her prime, she's still happy to be busy in her little wholesale shop every day.
Once I asked her, "Mom, do you occasionally feel anxious?"
"Anxious? What is anxiety?" Mom asked me in return.
Yes, like her absolute living in the present state how can be anxious it, her time every day to contribute to the small wholesale department, busy in the goods, busy orders, busy shipping, busy counting the money, every morning to do the early morning class, where there is time to think about it, as do not want to, how to anxiety? Although the mother does not understand psychology, but through the fact that the busy get rid of a variety of emotions, including anxiety, probably also because of a variety of negative emotions are not trapped, so the mother is still physically tough, dry to work, to a ten, we do not have these children who have her so hard work.
So it seems that the reason I have so much anxiety is probably because I'm not busy enough, well, should I consider making myself a little busier? (Joking)
In short, actions are a great remedy to help us relieve anxiety, but not all actions will relieve your anxiety, only those things that are most important to you in the moment. Let's say if you are anxious about your child's academic performance and you want to relieve that anxiety, what you need to do is not to go swimming, exercise, read a book, go for a walk, but to work with him to figure out what you can do to improve his academic performance, whether it's enrolling in a class, doing exercises, one-on-one tutoring, in short, spend your time on what you feel is important, and when you go about doing that, your anxiety will automatically be reduced. So if you really want to relieve your anxiety, the first thing you need to do is to find out what exactly it is that you're worried about, and then start taking action by spending time on those things, on the things that make sense to you.
Taking action can help with anxiety, but only if you don't expect it and don't put too much stock in the outcome, otherwise your anxiety will intensify. It's like my mom, who works hard and is busy all day long, but doesn't really care that much about her daily income. After all, the reality is not like what is written in the inspirational chicken soup, you pay will definitely see the results, or at least not immediately see the results. I myself adhere to the fitness more than two months, but the weight did not drop, although there is a little bit of a small loss, but does not affect my determination to adhere to the exercise, not because I do not want to lose weight, but because, with my years of experience in weight loss, whether the weight can be reduced in fact is not entirely within our control, as if the child's academic performance to a large extent not within our control, if I am for each month, each week or even each day how much to lose? If I had high expectations for how many pounds I would lose each month, each week or even each day, I would have been defeated by anxiety and given up exercising. Similarly, if we are very concerned about our children's test scores every time, then the anxiety will only get heavier and heavier. The first thing you need to do is to remind yourself to do your best in everything you do, and to prepare for the worst, and I believe that with this kind of mood, a lot of our anxiety can be automatically relieved!
The German poet Rilke said: We must do our best, but at the same time do not hold any hope ....... Take everything as the most important thing in the world, but at the same time know that it actually does not matter.
This is probably the most essential way we can cope with anxiety.
I wonder when we will be able to cultivate such a state of mind?