Because he always feels that he can't lose to others. People's life, as long as we don't lose, our confidence in life and our pursuit of ideals, if we should struggle and struggle, we can look at the gains and losses with a normal heart! Don't expect too much in life. Since God doesn't care for you and won't let you stand out from the crowd, why force it?
Happiness lies deep in each of us.
He Wen
There are flowers in spring, moons in autumn, cool breeze in summer and snow in winter. If you don't mind your own business, this is a good time on earth. -"No door closed"
Recently, I read an article in which there was a very touching passage: "A person always looks up to and envies the happiness of others, but when he looks back, he finds that he is also looked up to and envied." In fact, everyone has their own happiness, but your happiness is often in the eyes of others.
? When I was working in Guangzhou, my wife insisted on going with me, but the unit leader didn't want to, because their unit only had a single dormitory building and no residents. I want to bring my family, and the company wants to rent a house for me.
There is a big age gap between husband and wife, and the wife is very headstrong. She quietly ran from Beijing to Guangzhou without my permission. The unit leader had no choice but to rent a house for us.
Once they went out and had a few quarrels. There were many people on the subway, so I stood behind her to protect her. She moved forward from time to time, turned to stare at me with strange eyes, and didn't want me to get close to her body, showing anger.
The men around me didn't want to, and angrily pointed at my nose and cursed: "You are such a big adult, bullying a little girl, and so many people dare to play hooligans." What a shame! "
A young man waved his fist in front of me and was indignant: "Old man, you want to be beaten, don't you?"
I had to retreat. In this case, too many brave people don't know the truth. It's hard to argue that you've been beaten.
I know she did it on purpose, trying to give me an ugly face, and I also want to see how I handle this crisis.
When things are over, she always smiles and apologizes to me: "I'm sorry!" " You are an old fox. What kind of scene can't you handle? "
We were twenty-three, and she was twenty-two, like a little girl of sixteen or seventeen. She knows how to win the sympathy of people around her. Give me some color to see see.
In this case, I can only make way for her. After all, I really love her. Everyone has different ideas about the pursuit of happiness. I just like her willfulness and her freedom.
I don't like pursuing too many things. Some things are too high for us to pursue all our lives, but they will make us physically and mentally exhausted. True happiness never depends on the judgment of others, but only on your own inner feelings.
I remember once she wanted to go to Guilin in Beihai with some classmates. During that time, my work was not smooth, and she refused to go, so she began to play childish.
We went out on business together, and there happened to be a policeman on the roadside. She took a few steps to the policeman: "Uncle policeman, an old man has been following me!" " "
The policeman shouted at me, "Stop! What do you do? Take out your ID card. " I don't have my ID card. I said I would go to work, or I would be late. The police refused to let me go and forced me to go to the police station.
The wife took advantage of this opportunity to escape early. At the police station, I said you were cheated. That girl is my wife. No one believed that the unit leader came to write the certificate and guarantee before being released.
The boss was very angry: "Look, look, what are you looking for?" It's true. Six parents denied it and sent their husbands to the police station. Why do you want this wife? "
"Looking for a wife is to find a good woman who can share joys and sorrows, understand each other and help * * * with housework. See what you're looking for. The age difference is more than 20, like a middle school student of 16 or 17. Can I live with you? You will suffer for a long time! "
The boss criticized for a long time,
I have to say that she is young and immature, and will gradually mature with her age in the future.
Everyone wants to have a perfect life, but when the water is full, it overflows and the monthly surplus is gone. If there are shortcomings, it will last for a long time, and if there are imperfections, it will be called life. People who have tasted regret often know the true meaning of happiness better.
? Happiness is intangible, not how many people you can control when you are in prosperity, but how many people accompany you when you are frustrated; It's not how much wealth you have, but how many smiles you have. True happiness is family harmony, neighborhood unity and good health, as simple as that.
Only the peace and tranquility of mind, and then the pleasure of body and mind, is the real source of happiness.
No, it's just psychological. Just a fear, inner collapse, inner weakness, inner weakness. It's just an attitude. As long as you live in health, happiness, safety, peace of mind and peace, think about not forgetting your active attitude, so as to achieve your ultimate goal, cherish each other, live in peace of mind, live in peace and live in safety. Be prepared for danger in times of peace, be a happy person, be a fearless person, be a fearless person, be a fearless person, be a fearless person, be an anxiety-free person, be an innocent person, be an anxiety-free person, and be an anxiety-free person. Don't have any emotion and passion, don't be too emotional and stressful, don't be too emotional and stressful, don't be manic, don't be restless, don't be thrilling, and don't trample on you, me, everything and your image.
Don't compare with others. It doesn't matter to us whether others have more money or less. As long as they can afford it, it is the blessing of others. Do what you deserve.
A few years ago, there was a street interview, and the content was "Are you happy?" . During the interview, the reporter met a cleaner's aunt. When the reporter asked the aunt, "Aunt, are you happy?" Aunt's first reaction was "What did you say? I can't hear you. " So the reporter repeated the question again, and the aunt responded: "Ah? What? " The reporter asked loudly again: "Aunt, are you happy?" Aunt shook her head again and again. "I don't know what you said." Then lower your head and continue sweeping the street.
The other is an old man. The reporter asked him if he was happy? The old man said, "My name is Chen." The reporter thought that grandpa didn't hear clearly and repeated it. Grandpa said, "My surname is not Fu, but Chen." The reporter asked again, and the uncle said, "My name is Chen."
Happiness is a personal feeling.
Happiness is a kind of psychological experience and a comprehensive evaluation of individual's emotion, emotion and sensibility to life.
Whether a person is happy or not has nothing to do with whether he meets some so-called "happiness standards", but with TA's self-experience rest.
For example, a person only goes to work from nine to five every day, goes home step by step, rarely participates in so-called entertainment activities, and rarely travels anywhere. In the eyes of some people, they may think that this person's life in this life is boring and meaningless. But for this person, he may feel that this is a kind of happiness, family harmony and stability without any change, so don't worry too much.
For example, Zhang, the anchor of CCTV news broadcast some time ago, was photographed sitting on the street eating ice cream. As a result, some people on the internet began to ridicule him, saying that he was alone, unmarried and childless, and his old age was bleak. However, if you are not a fish, you will know the happiness of fish. Maybe people just sit on the street and enjoy food, or they live a full life. Only he knows whether Mr. Zhang is happy or not, but those who easily speculate that others are unhappy or even ridicule must be unhappy in their hearts. Because of misfortune, so projection; Because of misfortune, so malicious speculation; Moral kidnapping because of misfortune.
As walpole said:
Factors affecting happiness
When it comes to happiness, people will think of many famous sayings and chicken soup about happiness.
But Beecher said:
In these famous sayings, we see many standards about happiness, all about personal feelings, which is the core part of happiness. It is precisely because of this that some happy chicken soup has been produced, such as "forgetting is the best revenge"
However, is happiness really what it says? To be precise, all these mentioned only one factor of happiness. Perhaps, Horace's words are more appropriate:
Happiness is influenced by many factors:
0 1 personal experience
Whether a person is happy or not is of course very important.
However, the mentality is developed in the process of growth. In other words, whether a person is happy or not, TA's early experience is the starting point and the cornerstone.
A child who grew up in a family that was beaten almost every day, or a stay-at-home mother who struggled to survive in domestic violence, is far from being happy. At this time, it is undoubtedly nonsense and irony to say not to "compare" with TA. In this case, both children and mothers need to leave and change the environment before they can talk about happiness.
Similarly, a person living in a poor mountainous area has problems with food and clothing, and his mind may only be left with how to live every day and how not to starve to death. In this case, TA is unhappy.
And a person who always moves around and lives in various relatives or strangers' homes (such as John Lone) is extremely insecure inside. TA thinks more about how to make himself feel safe and not be abandoned.
There are also children who are always bullied on campus, but they are unable to fight back and can only transfer to other schools all the time. They are also extremely insecure and even feel inferior, which may lead to serious psychological diseases such as social phobia and depression.
……
Therefore, from this perspective, happiness is not caused by the heart of comparison, but by personal experience.
Psychology and human nature
Of course, because happiness is a personal experience, in some cases, the individual's mentality also determines whether this person is happy or not to some extent.
For some people with psychological distortion, due to various experiences, the negative emotions in their hearts have not been channeled in time, forming a strong desire for control, jealousy, excessive narcissism and extreme inferiority. Such people not only can't feel happiness by themselves, but also bring misfortune to others.
In terms of extreme inferiority, a person with extreme inferiority may become overly narcissistic, so he is very self-centered and dislikes anyone. He never thinks he is right; all his mistakes are others'. Because of their strong vanity, these people will not admit their mistakes even if they make mistakes. They will only complain about others, and they often find fault, and some of them are accompanied by strong desire for control and greed. At the same time, they often have a strong jealousy, and they can't tolerate anyone being a little stronger than themselves, so they have a particularly heavy heart of comparison. Once they think who is better than themselves, they will try their best to destroy it.
For women, the most common thing is to be jealous of other women who are more beautiful than themselves; Men are often jealous of power and ability.
For example, once a girl was subjected to various runs by girls in her class because she was beautiful and didn't talk much. Even after graduation, he was deliberately excluded from the WeChat group. She was not informed at the class reunion, but was smeared by various rumors. In this case, whether a girl is happy or not does not depend on whether she can compare with others, but whether the rumors of these people will hurt her; For these people, jealousy is the source of destroying happiness.
It is not only human psychology, but also human nature.
Jealousy, pride, meanness, laziness, gluttony, anger and lewdness are called the seven deadly sins, largely because they destroy people's happiness and social civilization. This is human nature, but it is not necessarily caused by the heart of comparison.
03 environmental factors
The dark side of human nature often affects the environment.
For example, in the earth where we live, many times, as long as people live in harmony with nature and make rational use of natural resources. But people always want to conquer nature and cause environmental pollution.
The polluted environment in turn affects people's lives. Polluted food and air affect people's physical health and mental health (depression is increasing day by day, and environmental pollution is "indispensable"), affecting climate change and human living environment.
There are exceptions, such as Finland and Iceland, which are so close to the polar circle. Due to the extreme natural phenomena around the clock, the prevalence of depression ranks among the highest in the world, especially the suicide rate. Although they are all high welfare countries, irregular sunshine seriously affects people's emotional stability. Happiness may be attainable for some of them, but it may be a luxury for others.
Human nature will also affect the social environment.
With the rapid development of science and technology, the social rhythm is accelerating, and the pressure of life is increasing. In this case, some people feel that life is getting better and better, while others feel that life is getting worse and worse.
Some of them don't allow others to say yes because they feel bad. This is a kind of moral kidnapping and a self-centered mentality. However, it is not only these people who are kidnapped by morality, but also some people have the character of "sage feelings", that is, people often abuse good people; Some blx, jealous and irresponsible people are also good at moral kidnapping; There are still some people who seem to be just chatting on the surface, but in fact they are making rumors; Some people who advocate violence ... these people are factors of social instability and also affect society. Worst of all, some of them are not only "not to be taunted", but also "unable to hide". From this perspective, happiness is influenced by the surrounding environment, although it is not decisive, it is also a very important part.
Therefore, although happiness is an individual's inner experience, it is not determined by the individual's mentality, but by various aspects, which influence each other and are indispensable. Only when the society is truly and thoroughly harmonious and civilized will everyone be happy, but this is a long process.
That's my answer. If you have any other questions, please leave a message in the comments section below.
Basic identity. Because a good comparison can make people have the motivation to move forward, and it is an enterprising psychology to make up for the shortcomings of others. Distorted comparison will make people degenerate, which is the dross of society and should be abandoned by everyone!
I don't think everyone thinks so. Everyone has a different concept of life. Only by using one's own ability to support and weave one's own life can one become the smartest person, and a satisfied person will always be happy.
I think so, too. Everyone's endless desire urges people to pursue more and more interests, yearn for wealth, and infinitely amplify their insatiable psychology. Cause people's distress and sadness, and often feel unhappy.
A person's heart of comparison is always at work, comparing with relatives, friends and rich people in society. Than wealth, than how much money you earn, than enjoyment, and so on. It is precisely because of this psychological existence that people feel unhappy and unhappy about some things in life.
In fact, happiness is a kind of contented psychology. As long as you are satisfied with things, you will feel happy. If you are not satisfied, you will never be happy. We should adopt correct methods to guide people's comparison psychology and strengthen effective management in all aspects of society. Let people form a good social environment where everyone is good and no longer compares. Let people return to tradition and rational consumption become the mainstream of society.
Not really! It is not advisable to compare blindly, but it is different to make a comparison and find your own position. In fact, it is more difficult for people to please themselves than to please others. Find the right position and do what you like and think is valuable. Live a stable life of your own. Enough! It is not necessarily a comparison, but the distance between ideal and reality.
That's right. That's why people don't have the heart to swallow elephants. [Laugh] [Laugh] [Laugh]