It is known that there is an uncontrolled chemical reaction between couples - dopamine. The "passion" brought on by dopamine can give the illusion that love can be perpetually frenzied. Unfortunately, our bodies can't be stimulated by this cocaine-like ingredient all the time, which means that a person can't be in a state of peak tachycardia forever. So the brain has to cancel the thought and let those chemicals metabolize naturally under its own control. Such a process usually lasts for a year and a half to three years. As the dopamine diminishes and disappears, the passion thus changes to calm.
So, does the decrease or disappearance of dopamine mean that a couple's passion is bound to die out, and since the magic of dopamine exists, does it mean that we can increase or even rekindle the passion in some way. Passionate love is impulsive, exciting, new, and mysterious, and it happens at the beginning of a relationship," says Orbuch, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, "On average, passionate love tends to start cooling down after 18 months. "
Start a new activity with your partner To rekindle your relationship, you can mimic your first date, Orbuch says. One way to do this is to take up a new activity or hobby with your partner. "Doing something novel with your partner can allow you to re-experience that initial emotional state you felt when you first fell in love."
In other words, try something new that can send sparks of excitement through the two of you and create passion as a result. Anything from deep-sea diving to square dancing, from hiking and climbing a mountain together to eating at a different restaurant.
Include an element of mystery or surprise
Mystery and surprise actually mimic the emotional experience of a new romantic relationship. But that doesn't mean you suddenly take your wife to the Mediterranean or present your husband with a thousand-dollar ticket to a ballgame that will surprise him to the point of open-mouthed amazement.
In fact, a few small gestures will get you there, and Orbuch gives a few suggestions, such as if you want to surprise your wife at work, you can pop in and invite her to lunch, or you can send her a sweet card in the mail.
Do something to stimulate your adrenaline and excitement
The early stages of a relationship begin with a surge of rushing adrenaline. Your heart races and you become a little fluttery, you're alert, alert and excited. "Studies have shown that the positive energy of stimulation and arousal (arousal) caused by adrenaline can be transferred to your significant other and your marital relationship," Orbuch says.
Activities that cause excitement and arousal can be as simple as exercise, "like going on an intense hike, riding a roller coaster, or skydiving out of an airplane," or even watching a scary movie. It's kind of like "assaulting your brain with surprises, and the excitement and awakening generated by a scary movie (or any other stimulating activity) is in fact exactly what your relationship is missing," which can help to arouse the passion between the two of you.
Orbuch was approached by a wife who was y in love with her husband and was suffering from a lack of passion and excitement in her marriage, and he suggested that the two of them get together and do some heavy exercise at home. So they bought a treadmill and a few dumbbells. After only a week, they became intimate in the midst of their workouts. The wife later told Orbuch that she felt so much better about her body, it was like waking up to a whole new self, and that it was "the best week" for her.