It is divided into three steps:
1, temptation
Step 2 surprise
Step 3 brainwash
The first step, temptation-"the creation of role attraction"
The model of gender relationship is actually a kind of role consciousness.
A woman's ideal boyfriend role is "lover+father+blue face+husband".
On the other hand, our men's ideal girlfriend role is "lover+daughter+beauty+wife".
Lover:
Lovers are characterized by a variety of amorous feelings, strong sexual desire, sexy and powerful.
There is no man who doesn't love beautiful women. If you add the word "sexy", this woman is invincible.
For men, the role of lover means hazy amorous feelings, half-hidden sexy, and erotic desire to say goodbye.
This is an irresistible temptation!
A lover who lives in a man's heart is actually a psychological sustenance. Men will pin their dissatisfaction and desire on their lovers.
In men's minds, the role of lover not only has all the advantages of his wife, but also has what his wife lacks (sexy power), which is a perfect existence in men's minds.
Therefore, if you have the characteristics of the role of lover, men generally don't have sex in reality.
The role of "lover" plays a great role in maintaining marriage and love.
Daughter:
Daughters are characterized by dependence, protection and coquetry.
Men's long-term love for women is sex and desire for protection.
Daughters are characterized by love and hate, and wanting to take care of them can greatly stimulate men's protective role.
There is a good saying:
"The more a woman loves a person, the more she likes to make him angry, make him angry, make him angry and bully him, but men don't care. In the logic of male animals, only those women who worship him, coax him, coquetry and stare at him really love him. "
A woman who can be spoiled and knows how to be spoiled has irreplaceable charm for men.
Beautiful:
Beauty is characterized by bosom friend, spirit and emotion.
In most cases, the wife is a confidante, and the role of a confidante is "listener".
Beautiful women will personally experience and feel the emotional changes that have taken place in each other and understand what men really want to hear.
They know when to listen, and how to listen will make men feel better about him.
Wife:
The characteristics of a wife are comrades-in-arms, companionship and support.
For example, when your man is criticized by the boss, do you encourage him or scold him? When his business fails, do you encourage him, help him, or pat your ass and leave?
At this time, you scold him, which is a sign of lack of support for him.
He will find you less and less sexy and less attractive.
When he is depressed, his work is not smooth or he is wronged by the outside world, this is when his defense is weak.
He hopes to be accompanied by the role of "comrade-in-arms". They have the same goal, communicate with each other and accomplish one thing together.
Behind every successful man, there is a successful woman, which shows that this woman has strong support.
It is not a vase in the ordinary sense, but a woman who is beautiful, intelligent and gentle.
And more importantly, you can fight with him in your career, give him shelter and support when he is lost, and be a strong little woman behind him.
The second step, surprise-"the charm of role exchange"
The ideal type of man is always "new woman"
If a man likes a certain type of woman again, he will get tired of it one day. You know, men are always pursuing novelty.
So the core of reversal is the charm of role reversal. Be a changeable woman and make him fall in love with you again.
The charm of a changeable woman comes from unexpected reversal, and she can always present her own different side.
Being with such a woman is an adventure for men.
For example:
You belong to the role of sexy stunner, but you act like "in fact, you just look sexy on the outside" In fact, you are very introverted and shy about sex.
Obviously, you seem to be a naive little girl who is not deeply involved in the world, but unexpectedly you have your own clear three views and opinions, and you know the wisdom of dealing with people.
You usually seem to be a capable and powerful character, but suddenly one day, you show your clumsy, weak and emotional side in life, and men will have a desire for protection and even feel that "I can't live without her."
Do you understand the power of "role exchange"?
Of course, it is not for girls to pick up roles that are completely opposite to their own, but to skillfully integrate some contrast elements into the main roles.
Let yourself have a different reverse charm, so that men will always be curious and cherish you!
The third step, brainwashing-"let men be dead set on you"
From the beginning to the end of a relationship, the clever "love rat" will constantly brainwash men.
And those good girls who have no strategy and don't know how to brainwash are often passive when they get along with men.
How to brainwash men?
1, pursuit phase
We should establish our own "prize thinking", regard ourselves as prizes, let men see, strive for and get it, and constantly repeat and strengthen this process.
Let men be possessed, fall in love with you, and feel it is an honor to have you.
Only by holding the prize gesture of "If you don't show sincerity, I won't consider associating with you" and constantly improving yourself to build enough prizes, will men cherish you more.
The brainwashing point of this step: you are a precious prize, not a cheap product that you can have at will.
2. Initial stage
The key point of this stage is to let him know that he should pay for you wholeheartedly.
If you want him to be nice to you and really pay more for you, how should you brainwash him?
You should tell him more details about your relationship with your father or brother. You can say that your father is considerate and fond of you, as well as your little worship of your father.
Because a man is naturally strong, he likes you, and you are not allowed to always say good things about other men in front of him, even though this man is your father.
So he will subconsciously have the consciousness of "competing" with your father or brother, and then he wants to be better to you, to surpass your father, and to steal your worship and love for your father.
At this time, the key point of brainwashing is: I have been in a state of being loved, and I deserve better love, so you must be good to me!
This is the positive brainwashing of men.
You need to get him used to the pattern that you have always been loved and tell him how you are loved by others.
But if you always mention your injury experience, he will slowly and unconsciously treat you in a bad way.
Step 3 get along well
Brainwashing in the running-in stage is actually the construction of the framework.
Similar to love rat's brainwashing routine, you can also treat them like this:
(1) occasionally suppressed, making you feel that he made a lot of money with you.
2 deliberately say what kind of man you like, such as being gentle and considerate, cooking and taking care of men.
The purpose is to turn him into a 24-year-old filial man who listens to you.
(3) Not loving him enough, but pretending that you don't love him enough.
Namely: despise each other strategically and attach importance to each other tactically.
In fact, it is also a skill of "fake payment".
"Fake pay" is to mobilize each other's subconscious. By paying for him, he will subconsciously feel that you like him very much and it is worthwhile to be good to you, and will pay more for you by taking your actions as an example.
Men are actually more realistic than women. If you don't entertain him, he won't fully arouse his enthusiasm!
Therefore, if you want the other person to pay more, you must set an example and give him some sweetness first.
note:
"Fake giving" is the real giving. It's because you don't like and love each other so much, but you have made a very warm and affectionate move, which makes the other person feel that you love him very much.
The real pay is to be done, and the fake pay is mostly said to be a bit like painting a pie. I will draw you a big cake, or give you only a little or nothing, and I will make you feel that I am very kind to you.
Fake giving is interesting. If used well, it will greatly enhance the "feeling" of love, reverse the situation that no one is chasing, and greatly increase your confidence and charm in sexual relations.
A friend of mine, Xiao Ai, is a girl with high emotional intelligence and knows the truth about false wages.
She recently talked about a boyfriend, and the boy is in good condition.
At first, she just had a crush on boys, but she didn't particularly like them, and they didn't talk very hot.
On one occasion, Xiao Ai said to a boy, I just had a flash in my mind. We walked by the sea and on the sunny beach. I'm wearing a white skirt that I like very much, and suddenly you spill water on me. It's so annoying
The boy's eyes lit up, and then he continued to ask the following things enthusiastically. I don't know why, the sun, the beach, the white skirt and Xiao Ai are always splashed with water in his mind.
Because of the little moxa's words, then the boys began to pursue little moxa enthusiastically, and there was a real date to the seaside later. ...
He didn't know that Xiao Ai planted himself in his heart with false efforts.
Love is a science, which needs to explore rational laws and learn wonderful strategies.
If you want to talk about a good love, you must understand a man's heart and take the initiative to open it on the premise of grasping his psychology.
How do girls with high emotional intelligence fall in love?
Why did he say he liked you at first, and then said he was "out of character" after getting along? Why do two people clearly love each other but can't stand the test of time and drift away?
There may be only one reason. You become a "disqualified" woman in love. Your emotional intelligence is not high enough to know how to love someone correctly.
There are many girls with high emotional intelligence around. The biggest thing they have in common is that they have a clear understanding of themselves and their lovers, understand what they want, understand what the other party wants, and then decisively judge whether they are really suitable for each other.
My favorite in Ode to Joy is Andy. Her emotional intelligence and IQ are high, and she is always decisive and decent.
She speaks simply and directly. I met the netizen Singularity for the first time. After a brief conversation, she asked Singularity, "Are you married?"
Singularity paused for a moment, then she apologized bluntly: "I know it's rude to ask, but I need this kind of proper limit in personal communication."
I can't help but sigh that this is a girl with high emotional intelligence and high IQ.
Such a girl will probably never get herself into some trouble. Because they know that they should be able to protect themselves well while making others feel comfortable.
Girls often ask me: how can I find the right person?
There is no single standard for the right person in love. A honey and arsenic, what others think is right, are often not suitable for you.
Constantly cultivate your emotional intelligence, taste and judgment, so as not to let yourself miss a good fate and indulge in a wrong love.
It's better to judge people than to judge them.
Instead of hesitating in front of love, it is better to cultivate yourself into a girl who can read people.
0 1 will show weakness+coquetry (know how to release the demand and guide the other party to meet the demand)
In fact, showing weakness is not a character, but a skill.
When you have a need, the other party can't satisfy you after explicitly suggesting various expressions. On the one hand, you will feel a little disgusted and think that he may not love you enough if he doesn't do this. On the other hand, the next time you encounter the same thing, you may just bypass each other and do it yourself. Anyway, it's a waste of time to find him angry at last. It's better to do it yourself.
The more so, the easier it is to give the man a concept-I don't do it, my girlfriend does it herself. Slowly, you do more and more, and your boyfriend does less and less. The deeper the resentment, the lower the boyfriend feels that he is needed. If you have another spoiled "green tea bitch" at this time, your relationship will be over.
Why didn't he want to help you when you asked him for help?
It's probably because you asked for help in the wrong way. You can try the "green tea" trick next time: weakness+coquetry.
Weakness and coquetry are interlocking, and the core is "you won't+specific plan+irreplaceability+expectation".
For example, if you want boys to grab tickets for a very popular concert, you can say:
"Honey, this ticket is really too hot. I robbed it several times before, but I couldn't get it (you won't). Your computer is very good at this. I heard that your friend is also very good. Can you help me grab the ticket? (Specific plan), no one around me will, I can only think of you (irreplaceable), I know you will help me, right? He is your favorite sweetheart ... (expected) "
The top hat has been put on him. Do you think he will accept it? Men can't get used to it. Once they get used to it, something will happen.
02 emotional management ability
Many times, when our temper comes up, we often ignore it and everyone is not pleasing to the eye. We like to upset a boat with a bamboo pole. As the most intimate existence, lovers naturally often lie together.
"The world is as black as a crow! You men are like this! "
"Don't think I don't know what you men are thinking!"
"If you don't live up to expectations, I won't argue with others for this!"
(Man: ...)
You think losing your temper is over. It's cool. I guess he should be fine. Be a man, don't be angry with me for these trivial things.
But what you say is like a knife, poking at each other's heart bit by bit.
Believe me, a stable mood will benefit you a lot, whether it is life, work or emotional relationship.
Balance the proportion of love in life
I know a female friend who wants to be with her boyfriend every minute after falling in love, leaving her best friends and colleagues behind.
What is even more frightening is that in the process of their sinking, friends, hobbies and other non-essential things that conflict with love will be ruled out, leaving only boyfriends. Men do the same thing, but men only do it during love. After the love period, men will definitely return to this society, return to work, and return to the world where men should belong. In this way, women usually feel that men have changed their minds and no longer love her.
On the other hand, she devotes herself to green tea, but she dances, sings, illustrates, plays the piano, draws and plays with her girlfriends at other times, so that she doesn't want money. At this time, on the contrary, the boy was in a hurry. "How did you ask her out? She said she wasn't available? Am I not doing well enough? "
Speaking of which, you should take out your little notebook and list the interests you once wanted to do but didn't realize.
For example, women's interests (yoga, flower arrangement, dancing, cooking), men's interests (basketball, football, the glory of the king) and no gender interests (photography, movies, mountain climbing, hiking), take action and let them enrich your spare time.
A useful chicken soup: This will not only make you have an independent personality in your emotional life, but also moderately reduce your needs and expand your social circle, so that the pattern will be rubbed up.
Green tea is a bitch because they always want to use their charm to maximize their own interests, which are often destructive to others.
But a sincere girl, learning these high emotional intelligence love skills, will certainly not be looked down upon. On the contrary, I can be a better lover and get better love.
In love, your emotional intelligence determines how comfortable the other person is with you. A woman with high emotional intelligence is more important than a beautiful face and a perfect figure. For men, women with high emotional intelligence are more likely to be liked by men. Do you know any behaviors that can improve emotional intelligence and make your relationship more comfortable?
Don't complain and complain, but have passion for life.
In the process of getting along, two people often act like a dissatisfied housewife. Women who often complain and accuse are the last thing men can stand. Emotions are contagious, and no one wants to live with a body with negative energy. If you meet some unpleasant people and things in your life and don't know how to put yourself in the other person's shoes, how can you understand the other person? Everything is relative. Don't judge a person or a thing easily and complain to your partner. A woman with high emotional intelligence is not without troubles, but when she faces troubles and difficulties, she will divert her attention, maintain a positive attitude and lifestyle, and will not let negative emotions overwhelm her.
Support and encourage more, and learn to communicate.
Women with high emotional intelligence know that what men need most is support and encouragement, and they are very good at making each other feel warm in the process of communication. There are always many advantages in the man you like. If you can explore his advantages and tolerate his shortcomings, he is a great man in your eyes. No matter what difficulties he encounters, a woman with high emotional intelligence is always duty-bound to give support and encouragement, so that the other party is full of motivation to face difficulties. At the same time, in communication, I know how to hide my negative emotions without affecting the other party. The communication between two people is more emotional communication. If you know how to provide him with good emotional value, you are the most important and dependent person.
Know how to listen and take responsibility.
Two people can't think exactly the same, and everyone has their own unique views on things. Women with high emotional intelligence will not choose to argue when they encounter things with different viewpoints, but choose to listen and try to understand each other's ideas from another angle. When men encounter difficulties, women with high emotional intelligence will not choose to escape, nor will they easily make promises to help each other. Instead, do your best, bravely take responsibility, advance and retreat with men, solve problems head-on and help him silently.
The above points are all behaviors that women with high emotional intelligence can make men feel comfortable and warm in love. They can always control their emotions, take care of each other's feelings and make each other get along most comfortably with themselves. Such women and men always gradually form a high degree of intimacy and dependence, and they are increasingly inseparable from their partners.