Have you ever encountered such a class of people who clamor upstairs in your house during break time, making so much noise that you can't sleep; who square-dance in your neighborhood, making such a loud noise that it disturbs the public; who drive without a turn signal and quickly cut into your lane, so that you have to step on the brake; and who speak without regard to other people's feelings, choking you halfway through a conversation? They're not bad people, they just don't have empathy and don't seem to think about how their words and actions can cause trouble or affect others.
Do you like people like that? I bet you hate people like that.
But have you ever thought that you are unknowingly raising your children to be such people?
We can easily come across such things when we are out and about, for example: once playing in a badminton court, a 6 or 7 year old boy was scurrying around the courts, and several times he was almost hit by other people's rackets, forcing everyone to stop and wait for him to run past. So tossed a few times, playing people shouted: whose child is this? Control it!" The kid's dad, who was playing on one of the courts, just looked up when he heard people yelling and then didn't follow through.
And a relative went to the hospital to visit another sick relative, her son found that the bed can be lifted and lowered, greatly interested in the bed repeatedly shook up and down, she smiled at the side of the son, and did not stop. She smiled at her son and did not stop him until the patient's family patiently stopped him, "You can't shake it like that, auntie will be in pain," and the child reluctantly stopped. After the door, I asked her why she did not stop her son, but she was puzzled and asked, "Isn't it necessary to give children freedom and protect their curiosity?" In a flash I was in a cold sweat ......
This is a huge misunderstanding! Freedom without boundaries is not freedom, it's indulgence! Your child is "free", but what about others?
There are parents who want to control their children, but they can't. Once in the shopping mall in the children's playground sand castles with children play sand, a little boy from the heights to us constantly raised sand, I stopped the little boy a few times, but he ignored is still not stop this behavior. Her mom also shouted a few times: don't raise the sand towards the children. It was no use, he still continued. The friend who went with him lamented: reckless, who can not shout, now such a lot of children ah.
When it comes to topics like this, everyone always feels it!
Fei mother said, to a friend's home to visit, just met the downstairs neighbors up to complain, said the child is too noisy. This process of the friend's son made too much noise indeed. But my friend was not impressed and said, "This neighbor is too picky, and she complains every now and then, so don't pay attention to her! It's not like I can tie my kid's hands and feet, so go live upstairs with me if you can!
I disagree with her, of course children can't be tied down, but we have to tell our children to respect other people's feelings with our actions and words, otherwise even if they don't have this noise nuisance when they grow up, they will still have other behaviors that don't take other people into consideration and only care about themselves. Even if we don't look at it from the point of view of neighborly harmony, we should set up certain rules for our children just for the sake of their future. But since we are going to be guests, I can't say anything more than suggesting that she get a mat to lay down to reduce the noise.
For example, at home, we live on the seventh floor, the child was playing in the house with a stick to bang on the radiator, I immediately walked over to stop her. I said you knock on the radiator, every house downstairs will be clanking on the radiator, you affect others is not a polite child. The child said, "That's how the uncle who came to fix the heater the other day was banging!" I told her, "The uncle tapped on the heater because it was necessary for his work, and it's not right for you to tap on it." After hearing this, the child thought I had a point and never went back to tapping. Maybe people think that such behavior is a child's trait and should be allowed and forgiven. But I don't agree with the idea that incorrect behavior should be corrected in time for the child.
Seeing this, do you see yourself in these parents? Have you also failed to discipline your child's inappropriate behavior in a timely and strict manner? Or do you think that you do not think that the child is small and does not know what to do, and will be fine when older? Or maybe you did, but your child didn't listen to you and there seemed to be nothing you could do about it?
The child needs to be free, but the prerequisite for that freedom is that he doesn't offend or get in the way of others; the child needs to be respected, but at the same time he must learn to respect others and take care of their feelings. In this way, the child can slowly develop empathy, learn to recognize and take care of other people's feelings, and the child will not become a person who only cares about himself and does not care about other people, who is annoying.