Psychologist Cooley's definition of self is: "For everyone, others are a mirror, and individuals understand others' views on themselves through social interaction, thus forming their own self". From this perspective, it is very important for others to evaluate a person. A good evaluator will form a good feeling about himself, and a bad evaluation will make a person form a bad feeling about himself. In childhood, an important person's attitude towards the individual largely determines a person's attitude towards himself: he likes himself rather than himself.
A girl constantly belittles her grandmother on the grounds of being smart, talkative, polite and learning from other children. We can guess that this girl must feel inferior. No one wants to feel inferior, so girls always want to prove themselves in various ways. By constantly pushing herself, she has achieved good results, but she is very concerned about evaluation. A little dissatisfaction or bad evaluation from others will make her depressed for several days.
Generally speaking, with the growth of age and experience, a person's understanding of self will be more objective and reasonable, the tension between ideal self and realistic self will be eased, and ideal self will become softer. At this time, people will be better at appreciating themselves in reality.