That winter day, the sky was hazy, like a piece of uncut jade, and like a rock with a diamond. It was on this day that I came to Peking University by the unnamed lake and started my first ice skating. I followed the steps to the lake, this time the unnamed lake should not be called "lake", but is really a huge "ice glass". I went to rent skates counter, rent a pair of skates, wear it, then trembling feet to move to the center of the "ice glass". But within a few steps, I fell onto the ice with a thud. I climbed up with difficulty, following the example of others to "skate" again. But within a few steps, I fell again! I was disappointed and thought, "I guess it's because I don't know how to do it. At this moment, a kind face, dressed in dark green sportswear grandfather skated to my side, kindly said: "Let me teach you." After that, the old grandpa set up a position, first demonstrated once, and then took my hand and slowly skated up together. Soon, I learned the most basic movements.
I left the old grandfather's hand to start the "combat practice". I first according to the grandfather said, the two ice skates into the outer "eight" shape, stand firmly, and then let a foot back to the back, the other foot forward skating, behind a foot diagonally over the ice, and then exchanged. Then I skated a long distance in a short time, skating, skating, skating, skating. I was so excited and proud.
Just when I was feeling smug, suddenly, the foot I was going to use to push the ice stepped into a not too deep, not too shallow puddle of ice! This time, I fell a "horse fall", and then feel the body, pain! After a while the pain recovered, and I skated happily on the ice again. At this time, the sky seemed to brighten up in a flash, the sun showed up, and the sky at this time was like a piece of polished alabaster; and like a crystal clear diamond. Ah! At this moment, the sky seemed to be smiling at me, congratulating me on the success of my first skate; ah! At this moment, the sky seems to be smiling at me, describing the joy of my success. At this time, a gust of wind blew by, and the fine sunlight leaking from the branches of the trees danced on the ice like a mischievous child. I looked at the cheerful sunshine and smiled.
zw.Liuxue86.comTeacher Comment:
Soaring freely on the ice is indeed a pleasant thing, but it is not so easy to learn to skate. The little author describes to us his first skating experience, which is full of the hardship of learning and the joy of success. The content is true and complete, the plot is vivid and layered. The last paragraph uses the "at this time ...... at this time ......" prose sentence, expresses the joy of the small author harvest success, as if even the sky is congratulating himself.
Skating
Friday night, my mom and I were having dinner. "Dingdong, dingdong", a crisp doorbell rang. It turned out to be a neighbor asking me to go skating. I thought: it's just right, these days have been in the exam, make head dizzy, why not take this opportunity to relax and relax. So, I quickly agreed to her.
To the skating rink, mom bought a ticket. Just see the field of people shuttle like skating to and fro; some like a light swallow gently rubbed; some like dancers change a variety of beautiful posture; some beginners grasp the handrail, carefully moving steps, for fear of falling; and those who can just get out of the handrail to walk, like a penguin as difficult as waddling forward. I hurriedly put on my skates and couldn't wait to skate. I didn't realize that just a few steps, I fell on my face. Undaunted, I got up and skated again. This time I didn't dare to slacken off and moved forward carefully like an engineer probing for landmines. Feeling a little better at sliding, I loosened my tight grip on the handrail. The left foot was raised while sliding towards the center of the field.
Who knows the joy of sadness, just as I was proudly turning around, a person rushed towards me, I fell to the ground with a "pop". I fell to the ground with a bang. "Aigoo", I screamed in pain. My foot felt like it had been hit by a hammer, and my hand turned red. The "golden peas" were spinning in my eyes and seemed to be about to fall out. I was a bit discouraged, "Ice skating is so difficult, can I learn?" At this moment, my mom came to me, pulled me up and encouraged me, "Don't be afraid, start over, how can you learn to skate without falling?" I remembered the old saying, "Where there's a will, there's a way". How can I learn to skate if I am scared by a little difficulty? So I gritted my teeth and slowly slid forward.
I don't know, more than two hours have passed, my skating skills are more and more skilled. My legs and feet were relaxed, and my skates seemed to be at my beck and call. At this time, I realized that I was drenched in sweat, and even the palms of my hands were sweaty.
It's a great feeling to skate, and I'll do it again next week.
zw.Liuxue86.comTeacher's comments:
This article describes "my" experience of skating. The author has seized the essence of things to narrate, there are details, details and appropriate, the joy of skating on paper. The article is logical and smooth thinking, rich in content and complete structure.
I learned to skate
In the past, whenever there were skating children swept past me like the wind, I was envious!
I learned to skate.
When I arrived at the skating rink, I found that there were many masters there. Some dancing on the ice, some spinning, and some in the high-speed skating. Mom rented me a pair of ice skates. I couldn't wait to put them on and boldly stepped into the ice rink. As soon as I entered the rink, I became hobbling, like an old man of seventy or eighty years old. I hold on to the fence, slowly skating forward, just want to take a step, a stumble fell a four feet to the sky, then tears can not help but in the eye sockets, sitting on the ice waiting for someone to help, some want to give up. At this time, not far away came the words of my mother: "Li Hanqi, quickly stand up, you will be able to learn." At the same time, I seem to hear the people next to me are whispering, my face suddenly red, thinking: I can not give up, fall is not terrible, give up is the most terrible!
With a hint of my own heart, I suddenly became brave as never before. I learned the ice rink big brother's appearance, slowly took a few steps, but somehow, feet like stepping on the watermelon rind, always stand unsteady. I was very unconvinced, and began to be a little anxious. But the more anxious I was, the more I fell. "It's okay, practice slowly." Mom encouraged me to say. I drummed up the courage, carefully stand, according to the others, the feet into a figure of eight, the left foot first, the right foot after the body leaned forward, hands with the feet of the rhythm of the natural swing. My feet stomped, and with a lot of effort, my body slid out steadily. I was so happy, but I knew I wasn't skilled yet and needed to practice more. Next, I practiced and sweated, I don't know how many falls, I was not discouraged. I fell down again and again, and got up again and again. Gradually, I skated better and better.
I finally learned to skate, the heart like eating honey as sweet. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm sure I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not only learning to skate, but I also know that perseverance is the key to success.
zw.Liuxue86.comTeacher's comments:
This article is a narrative and rationale, the article in a natural and friendly language, with the author learned to skate the example of the interpretation of persistence is the reason for victory.
The Revelation of Ice Skating
On this day, I was ten years old, I went out with my father to take a walk, live activities, and in the meantime, the stomach of the dinner digestion.
The moon at night looks extraordinarily beautiful, extraordinarily beautiful, bright moonlight illuminates our way forward, raise your head, the moon above us is so round and round. It is like a big bright disk, today's moon is really beautiful!
On the way, I met several good companions, they said: "Du Han Toi, hello, go to the square with us to play!" I replied, "Oh, okay." They asked, "Do you know how to skate?" I thought to myself, "If I say I don't know how to skate, they will laugh at me, look down on me and despise me, so I'll tell them I know how to skate, but if I say I know how to skate, I'll be lying to people! It was at this point that a conflict arose in my mind: should I tell them that I can skate or that I don't know how to skate? In the end, I decided to lie to them. I didn't want them to laugh at me! I hesitantly said, "I can skate." "Then let's go play!" "But I don't have any skates," said one of my buddies, "I'll lend you mine." I put on the skates, I paddled paddling, only to hear "bang" sound I four feet to the ground, buttocks on the ground, all of a sudden this "opening ceremony", I rubbed my buttocks while standing up, did not wait for me to stand firmly have fallen once, my knees hit the ground hard, fell out of the bruises. My knees hit the ground hard, fell out of the bruises, this "gift" is not light ah, afraid of falling again, I do not dare to relax, but I did not expect, actually fell once, this time can be more serious, my hands on the ground, scratched the skin, out of the blood, it really hurts me to death! I was furious, sat down hard on the ground, thinking that if I had known I wouldn't have lied, hmmm, really tearing the face of the living suffer ah! My partners came over, "Du Han Toi, if you don't know how, we can teach you!" Finally I learned to skate with the help and guidance of my partners.
This time, I realized that you can't pretend to know what you don't know, you don't know what you don't know, you have to be realistic, as Confucius said: to know, is to know what you know, not to know what you don't know.
zw.Liuxue86.comTeacher Comment:
This article describes how the author went for a walk with his father, then met his buddies and went ice skating with them, and finally got a revelation. The article is full of humor, the application of the metaphorical rhetorical device, make the article more vivid image. However, the expression is not elegant, and the thoughts and feelings are superficial.
Ice Skating
In my memory, I have experienced many things of interest, among which, the most impressive is ice skating.
One day during the winter vacation this year, my father took me to skate on Lake Weiming at Peking University. I originally learned to skate, but has not skated for several years, I do not know will not. We came to the ice rink, put on the ice skates feel the ice surface is slippery, feet trembling. At this point, I was a little tempted to back out, I was afraid I would fall if I didn't skate well. Dad saw me stop on the ice is not moved, so skate over to me said: "as long as you are learned to skate, then it is impossible to forget, come on, try." Hearing my father's words, I also re-energized, in accordance with the original skating method, feet into an external eight, step by step to move forward, that posture is simply like a penguin swinging a fat body; that speed can be compared with a snail! I followed my father's footsteps skating forward, suddenly, I stumbled and fell on the ice. Ouch, it hurt! I struggled a few times to get up, but I couldn't get my balance because I was wearing ice skates, so I tried a few times but couldn't get up, and finally my dad helped me up. At this point I wanted to retreat, just now I have tasted the pain of falling, if I continue to skate and fall again, what can I do? But then I thought, "No, I can't do that! How could I back out if I encountered such a small difficulty? It's just a fall! What's there to be afraid of? So, I continued to skate. After about half an hour or so, I gradually found the original feeling of learning to skate, and I could skate more skillfully and quickly on the ice rink, and I could even walk together with my dad. I can even walk with my dad. That's right, my dad is right: as long as you've learned it, you'll never forget it!
This incident is still fresh in my mind. Now, skating has become one of my favorite sports, and I've learned that you can only succeed if you fail!
zw.Liuxue86.comTeacher Comment:
This article is a narrative essay, the author can more accurately recount his first experience of learning to skate, which is worthy of recognition. However, the language of the whole text is too bland, the center is not prominent enough, in the process of narrative details are not appropriate.
Learning to skate (Pukou Real Primary School six (6) class Zhao Chenyu)
My mother used to say that I was an amateur sports star because I was particularly athletic. She says I'm a monkey's butt - can't be bothered. Among many sports I like ice skating the most, because I have a funny story with ice skating!
I remember that it was a hot summer, I want to learn to skate, my mother told me to wear pants, I prefer not to, to wear their favorite skirt, I think skating skirt fly up must be very nice. My mom didn't say much, but just said, "Okay then, try it. At the beginning, my dad asked me to read his "Skating Essentials" carefully. I wanted to be so serious, so I picked it up and read it once, and then I couldn't wait to tell my dad: I know it all, let's start. Dad helped me put on my shoes and told me to learn how to walk first, and then learn how to skate the figure eight. Do I want to go to all that trouble? I just skated. When my dad wasn't looking, I pulled out my stance and skated. But my body didn't listen to me, and I fell to the ground before I had a chance to cry out. Dad helped me up and said with a smile, "It's not easy, is it? Take your time. I climbed up and began to seriously learn step by step in accordance with my father's teachings. Just when I was complacent, the accident happened again, I bent over, a foot stepped on the skirt, only to hear a snap, I fell over, my beloved skirt also scratched a mouth, the leg of course, also gloriously injured. Dad had to help me this defeated soldier home.
Back home. Mom saw me in a mess, couldn't help but laugh. Said to me: everything should be slow, anxious to eat hot tofu, and then you just learn, wearing a skirt is sure to suffer. I nodded and said: Mom is right, but I have to continue to learn. I must learn to skate. Before long, under my hard work, my skating skill became better and better. Now when I skate in the neighborhood, many aunts and uncles ask me, "You skate well, where did you learn to skate? I proudly said: Dad taught me, and then I practiced by myself. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots, and then you'll be able to get your hands on a new pair of shoes or boots.
zw.Liuxue86.comTeacher comments:
The language is flat
Ice skating
I like ice skating, but I am in the south, it is very difficult to see the snow and ice, which makes me very sorry. However, the clever people invented the roller skating, which makes me as well as the people who love ice skating to fulfill their wishes. On TV, I saw those skaters, in the skating rink free and easy to gallop, their beautiful action how to let people envy ah! So I decided to learn to skate!
I told my dad about my idea, and he readily agreed. In a Sunday afternoon, my father led me to the skating rink, to see other people skating so leisurely, I think skating must be very easy! So I put on my skates, confident and ready to perform well. Unexpectedly, just stood up my feet do not listen to the call of duty, east to west, not out of half a step I fell to the ground, the pain I grimace straight to cry. I was grimacing and wanted to cry. Ice skating was so difficult! After a fall, I began to lose confidence, but with the help and encouragement of my father, I slowly stood up and skated step by step, fearing that I would fall again. In this way, I began to slowly skilled, but also gradually mastered some skills, thought I skated well, then let go of my father's hands, learn to skate like the skating masters in the TV in big strides, I did not expect that the foot skateboards still do not listen to my call, I fell again. "Pay attention to the balance of your center of gravity and the essentials of your movements. You will fall if your center of gravity is not balanced, and you will lose your balance if you don't move correctly. Don't rush, take your time." Dad said anxiously from the sidelines, looking at him, he looked even more anxious than I was! After hearing that, I patted the dust on my body and stood up bravely once again. This time I collected my own complacency, more careful study, gradually mastered the movement and balance of the coordination, so I finally learned to skate.
Through this experience of learning to skate, I realized that no matter what you do, you have to be persistent, face with an open mind, and boldly use your brain in order to learn better and faster. At the same time, I also realized that learning is difficult, but also full of joy!
By Huang Jiaqi
zw.Liuxue86.comTeacher's comments:
Improper details
The first time I skated
In childhood, there are successes and failures, and there are also the first time of laughter. And the first time that I still can't forget is - ice skating.
It was a sunny day when my dad said he would take me ice skating. I was about to break yet another first in my life, and I was overwhelmed. On the way, the birds in the trees were singing happily, and the trees were grooming themselves, dancing gently with the gentle breeze. Finally arrived at the skating rink, my father led me into the rink, changed shoes, everything seemed so harmonious. I hold the handrail slowly walk up, originally happy mood become so sad. I looked at the rink so many people, masters like clouds, one stronger than the other, in the rink at will "fly". How I want to be like them and fly as they wish! So I gently loosened the original tightly grasp the handles of the handrail, follow their example, skate a little left foot. Haha, I can fly. Unexpectedly, things did not go so smoothly, I went from a "flying bird" to a "turtle", four feet to the sky. People around me pointed at me and laughed, I was embarrassed to hold the handrail slowly stood up, touched the "little butt" has been injured, can only be accompanied by the side of the laughter. Dad "flew" over, while laughing and said: "Jia Min, you don't worry about it! You have to lay a good foundation before you can take off, you can't eat hot tofu in a hurry!" Looked at the pat ass away dad, I hate him at the moment. Hey, it seems that the crisis is approaching, or can only rely on oneself. I held the handrail and practiced for more than two hours before I dared to make up my mind to fly in the "sky". I didn't realize that I could "fly", I could "fly" as I wanted to. That's great! It seems that only pay the price, will be rewarded!
The first time I skated, it was my glorious first time! More importantly, I thought of two famous quotes from this incident: haste does not eat hot tofu, the sun is always after the wind and rain.
zw.Liuxue86.comTeacher's comments:
Plain language
Remembering the first time I skated
Since I was a kid, I've wanted to ride around the world on skates. However, my mom and dad were hesitant to buy me skates on the grounds that my balance was poor and I was afraid I would fall.
Recently, my father said I should exercise my balance, so I bought a pair of skates for me. But still afraid of me falling, bought another set of protective clothing for me. I took this pair of skates and loved them. I began to look at the shoes: the skates were red. The pattern on the 4 wheels on the bottom of the shoe looked like fire, making the wheels look like wind and fire wheels.
It just so happened that this Sunday was a windy and sunny time, so I went downstairs to the basketball court to learn how to skate.
I put on my protective suit and shoes and started to learn the basics of standing and walking. In a short while, I was able to stand smoothly on the ground. And walking is much harder to learn, a little inattention will fall.
Just as I was waddling around on my skates, two kids about 11 years old came in on skates. As soon as they entered the rink, they skated in backwards and were really skilled. After warming up, they jumped and shot, making me admire them even more.
"Can you teach me how to skate," I begged sincerely to these two little brothers.
"Sure!" They readily agreed, "When you skate, you have to lower your body a little bit so that it's easy to find your balance." The coach said as he demonstrated to me.
I tried it and it was much smoother.
"How can you keep looking at your feet? You have to look into the distance. Otherwise both shoes will trip a lot. Be relaxed!"
I looked into the distance and my mind naturally relaxed. Slipping and slipping, I feel like a happy bird, the speed is getting faster and faster. If I wasn't careful, my center of gravity shifted, and I fell to the ground with my butt on the ground and my feet facing the sky and the earth. I looked back at my two coaches, who were already laughing their asses off. "What, getting carried away? You're just starting out, take it one step at a time! It took me 2 years of learning to get to this level." The coach educated me.
Under the coach's guidance, I was able to skate initially. I must surpass my coach!
zw.Liuxue86.comTeacher's comments:
The language is bland
Learning to skate
I came back from Liuzhou in the summer vacation, and I saw that there were many children learning to skate in the compound. I have spent a lot of effort to persuade my mom to help me buy a pair of skates.
Once home, I was immediately happy to put on the shoes, can not wait to stand up, "snap", not waiting for me to stand firm, fell a "dog gnawing mud". Fortunately, there are knee pads to protect, so as not to fall so painful. I touched my butt and said to my mother, "Mom, you help me!"
Mom helped me, I practiced slowly step by step, and my mom made "ouch, ouch" noises from time to time, because I stepped on her feet. Slowly, I can skate by myself holding the wall. Heh! I'm progressing quite fast! I thought proudly. Just as I finished my thought, I fell down again with a loud bang, causing the people in the audience to laugh. Despite their laughter, I got up, fell again, and stood up again, haha! Finally, I stood up!
After two hours of skating, I can slowly skate by myself, without the need for my mother to help, and do not need to support the wall, but the buttocks have been bruised, purple piece, pain me also! But I'm not afraid at all. I got up and started practicing again.
Listening to my "pop, pop, pop," the sound of wrestling, but the father in the "ha, ha, ha," laughing, really watching the fire from the other side of the river, to see the death of the rescue, but also do not help me a hand, really angry.
And then look at my cousin, you have to hold the wall and walk slowly, I can just slip away, at this time, my heart do not mention how happy.
The next night, we went to the square skating. Look at the square those skating masters how powerful, play a lot of tricks! Then look at me, just a learn to skate two days of rookie ah! There are so many tricks they can do, such as: squatting down and skating, crossing and skating backwards and so on. They must have put a lot of effort behind learning these tricks!
From this time I learned to skate, I know a truth: one point of labor, one point of harvest, no pay, you will never learn to skate.
zw.Liuxue86.comTeacher Comment:
The language is flat