It was just after 6am when Pei Pa and I woke up and went to do our chores as usual. We had to buy the groceries and cook them before we left for work. I, on the other hand, do the laundry, clean up the house, and take care of the kids.
Not long after, Pei Zai also woke up. He climbed out of bed and ran straight to his grandmother's room across the street. When I finished washing the clothes, I found Pei Pei still sitting on Grandma's bed, swiping Jitterbug with his head down. He was skillfully flipping up the screen with his fingers, switching between different Jitterbug videos, while his grandmother sat smiling and watching her child play.
This has happened many times, even though I've stopped it many times. I was particularly depressed, but I tried to control my emotions and said to my mother-in-law, "You can't play with cell phones when your child is so young, and if you always let your child swipe on Jitterbug, your eyes will not only go bad, but your child will also develop bad habits."
Mother-in-law immediately pleaded, "It's him who wants to come and play, it's not like I'm giving it to him."
I had to reason with her, "What does a one-year-old know? What can be done and what can't be done needs to be monitored by us adults. The child wants to play with the knife, do you also give him a knife? This cell phone is also you give him open ah."
Mother-in-law then said, "He cries if I don't give it to him, why make a child cry in the early morning?"
I was even more speechless. A lot of old people's concept of bringing up children is like this: don't make the child cry, and let the child do whatever he wants.
I stopped talking and tried to take the phone away to carry the baby away. When the cell phone was taken away, Pei Zai cried especially hard and even resisted my hug. The child's tears and resistance to me made it especially difficult for me. Why did the old man refuse to listen to what I had emphasized so many times? Why is it that my efforts to discipline my child properly are rejected by my family? I'm not sure what I'm talking about, but I'm not sure what I'm talking about," he said.
I went to the living room to change my clothes. Shortly afterward, my mother-in-law screamed, "I can't walk! I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to do, but I'm going to be able to do it," she said, "I'm not going to be able to do it," she said, "I'm not going to be able to do it.
Peipei's father ran over from the kitchen and asked what was wrong. The mother-in-law then said loudly: "What's the point of letting the child play with the cell phone for a few minutes? It messed up my hands, and I twisted my hamstring in my haste."
The old man can't walk on his feet and I'm worried, not to mention that I can't go to work to take care of her, and I can't manage the kids. But when I heard this sentence, I was full of grievances. Is it true that the elderly condone the children to play with cell phones? I'm not sure if you want to raise a child with a good education, but I'm not sure if you want to raise one. So originally I wanted to ask, "Is your foot okay?" It turned into "Mom, are you blaming me for your sprained foot?"
We both expressed our dissatisfaction, but in a resigned tone. After that there was silence, everything went on as usual, I did the housework, my husband was busy in the kitchen, Pei played in the living room, and my mother-in-law watched from the side, but the atmosphere was particularly dull. Later, Pei's father came out of the kitchen with noodles, I called my mother-in-law to eat breakfast, and the old man responded to me immediately, and the matter passed.
What is the best way to avoid conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law when they have different ideas about parenting?1, to the elderly more scientific knowledge of parenting.
More often than not, the elderly like to spoil the child, the child put forward any requirements are accommodated to meet. The fact is that the most important thing is that you have to be able to get the most out of your life, and you have to be able to get the most out of your life, and you have to be able to get the most out of your life. But this unconditional, should be for the child's physical and mental health and development of favorable behavior, is the right care and love for the child.
Condoning children to play with cell phones, this kind of satisfaction for children is not love, it is a deep harm. Do you remember last year's news report, Yangzhou, a two-year-old girl playing too much time on the phone, the result of eye myopia 900 ° irreversible. In fact, many times, the child's words and behavior are imitated from adults, after all, young children and adults spend time together, close relationship.
My mother-in-law herself is particularly fond of playing with cell phones. In the past, always in front of the children to brush the Jieyin, fight the landlord, has been Pei Zai grabbed the phone broke one. I often told her to play less in front of the child, the impact on the child is not good. Now the child is just over a year old, can be so skillful brush Jieyin, is not it from the grandmother to learn?
Bringing up a child is very hard, after all, the child in the walking sensitive period, a moment can not be quiet. So I always tell my mother-in-law: Let the kids play by themselves, don't disturb them, and keep an eye on them; if the kids invite us to play, take an active part in the game, and interact with the kids. For example, Pei Zai can often carry the blocks from the storage box to his toy car basket by himself, running back and forth, playing over and over again, and not allowing others to move. Then let the child play by himself, and the old man can take the opportunity to rest.
Many and I have to go to work to support the family, usually the old man in the family care of the child, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can communicate more communication, more to the elderly to share some correct scientific knowledge of child care. Every day home from work, to pay attention to the child there are no bruises, ask to grasp the child's day activities and diet, timely correction of the elderly wrong practices. For example, in the past few months, I have been asking one question every day, "Where did the child play? Is it crowded?" Because Pei Zai is resistant to wearing a mask, I remind my mother-in-law to minimize taking the child to crowded places, which is not safe.
2. Be careful how you express your suggestions.
Because of the different concepts, there is often a difference of opinion between the previous generation and us on how to bring up our children. For example, my mother-in-law likes to feed her children, is opposed to putting them in diapers, and also believes that watching TV and playing cell phones will not have any effect on them. And we all know that feeding not only deprives the child of the opportunity to train his hands and fine motor development, but also is not conducive to the child's healthy growth, and is likely to make the child dependent on others, lack of independence of the bad habits.
Then there are opinions, how to put it to the elderly? The first thing is to try not to blame, criticize, and express dissatisfied views. The fact that the elderly are willing to help with the children so that we can go to work at ease is the greatest support for us. Taking care of children is a particularly hard thing to do, and if the old man's way of educating children is not right, and should be pointed out. It should be expressed sincerely on the basis of respect for the elderly, avoiding the tone of voice containing dissatisfaction, accusations, complaints and other emotions, so that the elderly listen to the heart uncomfortable.
The second is patience and reasoning. The old man is old, many places will be like a child to insist, stubborn, and even capricious disobedience. We have to patiently reason with them to make them understand why they can't do this. For example, wearing open pants, Pei Pei is not worn, even in the hot summer. But Grandma thinks that the reason he can't go pee and poo on his own until he's over a year old now is because I'm wearing diapers and closed-crotch pants on my child. She can't figure out why I'm making it so hard for my child by diapering him when her sons and daughters, including a lot of kids nowadays, are bare-bottomed and wear open-crotch pants, too.
We're both thinking from the standpoint of caring for our children, but this is something we haven't been able to communicate to her until now. My mother-in-law, despite her disapproval, has for the most part respected what I've done. Sometimes, when she really cares for the child, she lets him wet his pants. Because I repeatedly told her that diapers have thicknesses that can be changed, but wearing open pants is not hygienic at all and can easily cause injuries to the child, the old man listened to me.
3, try to let the elderly rest.
Pui Chai is able to walk and run around the time of destruction, the child is full of energy, destructive ability and strong, both to meet the requirements of his activities, but also to ensure the safety of his actions, a few hours down is very tired.
So, when the elderly help to bring up the children, we have to let them rest as much as possible. Usually in the morning, PuiDa and I go out to work, and my mother-in-law helps me with the baby. At noon, the child takes a nap, usually for about three hours, and in the afternoon, my mother-in-law takes the child out to play for one to two hours. The rest of the time, she doesn't have to take care of the kids, and she's not allowed to do anything else in the house.
After dinner, my mother-in-law will go out for a walk or dance on the square to exercise, and then go home to play the landlord on her cell phone, brush the Jieyin, and so on, and we won't stop her.
Lastly, I would like to say that it is not easy to go out to work and raise a family, the older generation at home with children is not easy to deal with the issue of children's education, if the old man did not do the right thing, the daughter-in-law should be pointed out, but pay attention to the way, you should respect each other, and recognize each other's efforts, so that we can effectively solve the problem, reduce the occurrence of conflicts between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Family harmony is the best nutrient for children to grow!