A colleague in my unit said a famous saying about the quality of children's academic performance: "children are blessed to study well;" Children learn poorly and parents are blessed. " What do you mean? It is unlikely that children will study hard, attend key undergraduate courses, study or even study abroad, find a job after graduation, and then go back to their hometown and parents. Children are far away from their parents, so it is definitely inconvenient to take care of them when they are old. Unless the child has the conditions to bring his parents with him. If children are poor at school, most of them will find something to do in their hometown and spend time with their parents. This "famous saying" of my colleague is similar to what the subject said. Of course, whether a child has a future depends not only on his academic performance. All roads lead to Rome, and there are many ways to become a useful person. Good academic performance is only one aspect of a child's success.
I once read a news related to old-age care on the Internet. There is a family with two sons. One is better than the other. One studied in Tsinghua, and the other studied in Renmin University. After graduating from college, they all worked in Beijing and bought houses to settle down. My parents work and live in a small county far from Beijing. When they just retired, the old couple were in good health and in a good mood. They often travel and live a very chic life. Later, the old man fell ill, but fortunately he was taken care of by the old lady. Later, the old lady also fell ill. In desperation, she brought her two sons back. The two old people were hospitalized for more than a month, and the two sons took turns to take care of them, which was also their best. After the old man was discharged from the hospital, his two sons returned to Beijing. Beijing has their small families and their careers. The old couple in their hometown were in poor health and hired a nanny, but they resigned three times in a row and failed to find the ideal one. I want to go to Beijing to live with my son, but the child has never mentioned it, and the old couple can't talk. This is a typical situation of "children are promising, but parents don't help when they are old".
Mao Zedong and other founding fathers must be a kind of promising people. They have "great promise". They sacrificed their lives for the country and the nation and gave up their families for everyone. They have participated in the revolution in other places for many years, not to mention supporting their parents. Some of them can't even die. The founding fathers fought for the revolution, and their parents and relatives also made various sacrifices for the revolution. Even in peacetime, it is often the case that loyalty and filial piety cannot be balanced. This situation is very helpless. In any case, their selfless dedication to the country and people deserves praise and reverence. This is a special case of "promising children and helpless parents when they are old".
It is ideal for children to have ambition and be filial to their parents. Children have no ambition, but it is also good to be filial to their parents. But there are also cases where children are around and parents are unhappy in their later years.
In a small village in the south of Hebei Plain, there is a family with six sons and a daughter. All six sons are married and live in the village, and the daughter is married to a neighboring village, which is not far away. The old man died early, and the old lady helped her sons look after all their grandchildren. A few years later, she got cerebral thrombosis and was lying in bed, unable to take care of herself. All seven children refused to let the elderly live in their own homes. Instead, they pooled their money to build a warm little room for the elderly in Leng Xia in winter. During the day, the daughter-in-law takes turns to deliver meals and leaves after dinner. The old man is incontinent and dirty, so his son who goes to the vigil at night will simply deal with it. That small room often stinks. The only daughter of the old man is also a wonderful flower. The old man misses her and calls her name in the hut every day. A kind person went to tell her, but she didn't look at the old man. When the old man ran out of oil and lamps, the villagers said that the old man was relieved and finally did not have to suffer. What's the use of leaving children around like this?
I also read a news on the Internet, which mentioned a sentence that moved me very much: "The farthest distance between an old man and his children is that there is a road in the middle." It turned out that in a city, an old man lived in a neighborhood beside a road, and her eldest son lived in the neighborhood across the road. The old man died at home, and no one knew. After more than a month, the neighbors smelled the smell and called the police, and the children of the old man knew that their mother had passed away. And the eldest son's house is just across the street from the old man! ! ! These unfilial children are hateful! Damn it! Damn it!
In short, children are too promising and often fly away, and the old people can't get the company they deserve. For the elderly, this is naturally not a good thing. However, it is even more sad to have children living around, but not filial.
Last June, 5438+065438+ 10, I took my father and two children to beijing museum of natural history to play.
On the way back, I met a 78-year-old grandfather on the bus. He has been observing us since we got on the bus. Later, I learned through chatting that he really envied my dad!
Grandpa said, "Daughter, I noticed you before you got on the bus. You've been protecting your father. I'm afraid people will squeeze your dad, so you can block it for your dad. When you get on the bus, carefully tell your dad to hold on and watch the seat. You let your father and children sit down. You always stand by your father and children and chat with your father carefully, which makes me envy! "
Grandpa is 78 years old. This time, he went to an old friend's house in Sihui by car alone.
Grandpa said that he was lonely all day, especially envious of other old people having children with him.
Grandpa told me that he has a son and a daughter, both in Beijing, and their home is not too far from where he cooks, which is only an hour's drive. Are senior officials of the unit. However, they are all very busy. I'm too busy to have dinner with him once a month.
Grandpa said that the older you get, the more afraid you are of loneliness.
His wife has been gone for several years, and he always hopes that the children can spend more time with him. However, he also knows that the children are really busy, so busy that the kitchen at home is almost all furnishings and rarely cooks. The couple eat takeout every day, and sometimes they are too busy to even eat. As for the children, I can't take care of them. He was sent abroad when he was very young.
Grandpa has been to his son's house and wants to see his son and daughter-in-law every day.
However, my son and daughter-in-law are busy, go out at four or five in the morning and come back very late at night. This means that he still stays at home alone. After living for more than a month, he really couldn't stand it and went home.
Once, he lost his temper and told his son and daughter-in-law to leave their jobs and have a good day with him.
However, he was sad to find that they were all busy people. Although people are by his side, his heart has already flown. Especially his son, keep his cell phone. One minute this person calls for instructions, and another person calls. On another occasion, the head office held a video conference and so on. ......
He finally said helplessly to his children, "I'd rather you weren't so good, I'd rather you were just an ordinary working class." So you can spend more time with my old man, spend more time with my children and take care of your health. Don't be so tired! "
We got off the bus together. After getting off the bus, he dragged us to sit on the bench and talked for a while. He said to my father, "I envy you, little brother." You are much younger than me. I have a daughter with me and my grandchildren are playing around. Unlike my brother, I have to run that far alone, all day long just to find someone to talk to. I miss my grandchildren very much, but I seldom see them all the year round! "
When we broke up, my uncle's eyes were full of tears, holding my two children and not wanting to let go. I can see that he is really lonely. He really misses his children and grandchildren.
Children, no matter how busy we are at work and how stressed we are, please spend more time at home with our elderly parents. Work can be put aside for a while, and money can be earned slowly, but our parents are getting older and older and can't wait! Going home often, even if it is a quiet meal with parents, is also great happiness for parents!
A very sensational thing happened here a few years ago. We have an old lady whose only daughter is studying in America. The wife died and the daughter didn't come back. When she was seriously ill in hospital, the director of the hospital was a student of the old man. He called the old man's daughter many times, hoping that she would go back to China to visit and take care of the old man's affairs. Unexpectedly, the daughter who hurried back to China asked the hospital to unplug oxygen without even looking at her mother. She left in a hurry without handling the matter.
This incident caused a great sensation in our local area. Many parents say that it is not necessarily a good thing for many elderly people who are eager for happiness and comfort in their later years. Once a child goes abroad, it is equivalent to cultivating others, and in his later years, he can't rely on anything. Even many touching parents and old people will send out such feelings. It is equal to "losing independence" to know that children are too promising until they are old. The truth is ugly but realistic.
The more promising children are, the higher their academic qualifications are, and the weaker their management of family and filial piety is.
After the reform and opening up, cultural exchanges between China and the West increased, and the tide of studying abroad prevailed. Turtles have also become the target of well-known domestic enterprises. At that time, as long as families with conditions were keen to send their children abroad, broaden their horizons, let them win at the starting line and become outstanding talents, and some even settled abroad directly.
And those excellent children who have settled abroad have high independence in thought and behavior. Coupled with the influence of western individualism, the values will change, and the family concept of family reunion, mutual warmth and mutual binding of the elderly will no longer be recognized, and the affection will be weak. So to some extent, the better children will spend less time and energy on their parents in the future. Moreover, if children live in big cities or abroad, if parents can't live with their children, the time and cost for children to go back to China to take care of and accompany their parents should be carefully weighed, and it will become more and more difficult to go home, so it is an extravagant hope to let children spend more time with their parents in their later years.
The better the children, the stronger the parents' sense of sacrifice, and the less willing they are to drag their children down in their later years.
Most parents in China have a strong sense of sacrifice for their children. No matter how hard and tired, I want to provide good things for my children. For the sake of children's growth and dreams, I am willing to sacrifice my career and dreams, and everything is willing to make way for children. Therefore, for excellent children, although parents are full of pride, they also have a deep sense of sacrifice and dedication. Children are so promising that parents can't hold them back or cause them trouble.
Therefore, the better and more promising the child is, the less parents dare to bother and ask for the child. Even if they want to enjoy family happiness in their later years, most parents will choose to sacrifice their own interests to fulfill their children's life.
Of course, excellent children are the wealth of society and the pride of parents. Although having children is not for supporting the elderly, it is no longer reliable to raise children to prevent old age, but parents and children should understand the meaning of responsibility.
I think there is some truth in this statement.
When children have great ambitions, they will have very important jobs. So they can't just take a break and ask for leave. Even the old man is ill and can't come back to see him.
I remember that two years ago, my mother-in-law was in poor health and the local hospital was not good-looking when she was old. My sisters took the old man to the Third Hospital of Beijing Medical University.
In the same ward, there is an old mother who is nearly ninety years old. At that time, when we were admitted to the hospital, she basically recovered and went out alone. I was curious at that time, but I didn't dare to ask her why.
After a few days, my mother-in-law got better day by day through surgery. Several children watch it before and after bed every day, telling happy things to make their mother-in-law happy.
The clinical flower mother began to speak. She used to be an old Red Army, and her wife was a big cadre before her death. My son is currently working in the central department.
She said that sometimes she misses her son very much and will go to see him, but she can't even go to the hospital. Let the police officer report first.
My old mother is especially envious of my mother-in-law. She said, "Although I have more money and better conditions than you, I am not as happy as you."
The old man's words are from the heart. How she wishes that someone would be with her when she needs children to take care of her!
A few days later, the old man was discharged from the hospital and his grandson came to pick her up. Unexpectedly, two days later, the old man came to see my mother-in-law with a lot of things. She said, "I like your family. Come to Beijing to see me in the future. "
The old man was so kind that our whole family was moved.
My mother-in-law often thought later that she was satisfied in her later years.
Because the children are very filial, although there is no great skill, the elderly can be filial when they have something to do.
The above is a true story, but who doesn't want their children to make great achievements in the world?
Finally, it is inconvenient for parents to be old, no matter how old they are or how busy they are at work, they should spend more time with the elderly.
There are cruel children in the world, and there are no parents who do not love their children.
Filial piety is the best in the world, filial piety, filial piety for children, and filial piety for the elderly.
May all children in the world be filial and parents in the world be happy and healthy.
Thanks for your support.
Hello, I'm Xifeng, and I'm glad to answer this question. Very shielded question. I really hope that when our parents are young and healthy, our children can also prosper, have a successful career, honor their ancestors and have a lot of face. But generally, such promising children will either develop in big cities or even go abroad, and have their own careers: they will also have their own families, so they will be very busy. I don't have time to go home often to accompany my parents. They are all far away from my hometown, and they may have a holiday: I go back so many times a year, so my parents will feel that their children are too promising to spend time with them when they are old. Just like children in ordinary families spend time together, they will feel this way, but when they get old, they really hope that their children and grandchildren can get together happily. The above is my personal expression, thank you!
You can't have both loyalty and filial piety.
A capable child will go further, fly higher and take on heavier responsibilities.
You gain something, you lose something.
A child without ability can't go far. He or she has no so-called outlook on life, values and world. He (she) can only work or dig fields in a down-to-earth way, so he (she) will spend more time with his parents, and it has become such a child's business to support the elderly and die.
Personal story.
There are seven parents and children in our family, and my second brother hasn't read much. In addition, my family rules are strict, so my second brother has become a good boy who listens to his parents and works at home, always by his parents' side. Brother San Si is developing outside. A few years ago, my father went on a trip and went into shock for the first time. Second brother called to inform us that we all came back to visit our father. As a result, the father came back to life, and the children at home got together for two or three days and went their separate ways. Within half a month, my father went into shock again, and my second brother called again. The children outside were busy rushing home, which made my father reluctant to part with us and woke up comfortably. But my father is thinner than before, and his eyes are full of souvenirs. Each of our children cried, thinking about how strong and brave his father was when he was young, and now he is tortured by illness, but we can't stay with him every day except two. You can still say complete words in your mouth.
After the third shock, my father did not wake up. He ended his trip and went to another country. My second brother called us and said that my father was in shock again. Hearing this, he immediately put down his work and drove home in a hurry. Only my third brother and I arrived. I didn't see my father for the last time. Writing here, I burst into tears.
As a child, who doesn't want to be filial!
This question can't be half a joke. I'm answering "you can't have both loyalty and filial piety". If the old man is not enlightened and clever, the child will certainly be mediocre. Here, I would like to say "I'm sorry" on behalf of those outstanding sons and daughters who are devoted to filial piety and are ashamed of their parents, and wish the elderly a very happy life!
Hereby: in the simplicity of the whole world, I would like to extend the highest revolutionary salute to the great parents!
Today, my neighbor, an old lady, accidentally fell down because of mopping the floor. She was taken to the hospital ward and left in a few days, leaving her wife in a wheelchair and no one to take care of her. Before the old lady died, she was always taking care of her wife. Have a daughter, as you said, so capable, go to the United States to study and settle down, get married and have children.
Today, my mother died. Because of the epidemic, she can't come back from America to handle the funeral. She doesn't come back at ordinary times and can't take care of the daily life of the elderly. Now that the old man has passed away, neighbors and relatives help her take care of the affairs. Now that the old man has passed away, the other one is paralyzed at home, with no children around to take care of him, feeling a little lonely and desolate without children.
People in China have a sense of security. Someone died, and I don't want my child to be too far away from me. Now that they are all dead, they will never see each other again. Isn't it a little unsatisfied?
It's not easy for people to live. When they are old, they want their children to be cultivated around them. All families, big or small, are safe and harmonious, and enjoy family happiness!
This is a completely wrong view. First of all, we must be clear about what is excellent. A person who has no moral quality and can't repay kindness, no matter how successful, is not an excellent person at all. Is it excellent to be devoid of humanity and ungrateful?
When we say excellent people, we mean people who are better than ordinary people in performance, ability, achievement and personality. People admire and admire them and make their parents proud. Such people are truly excellent people. How can parents think that giving birth to this child is not a good thing?
In fact, it is just that some people are too utilitarian now, which seriously distorts their thinking and cognition. They regard those who have made little achievements and wealth, but have no moral concept and moral conduct as excellent. In fact, this is extremely wrong. Whether a person is excellent at any time and from any angle is related to his moral character and sentiment. People admire him not only for his ability and achievements, but also for his moral conduct. With such children's parents, how can there be the feeling that "many people don't know until they are old: it is not necessarily a good thing for children to be too good"?
I think this concept is more correct! Take the people around me for example.
A: Uncle Wang is a professor in a military academy. He is very tall. After retirement, we bought a house in our community and lived on the same floor as our son. At first, he was happy. Later, because my granddaughter went to primary school, my son wanted his children to go to a better school, so he went to another district, bought a house and moved away. He doesn't want to move there, but he still lives in our community. Many years after his son moved away 1, he got lung cancer. His son is in a bureau and is very busy with his work. He wanted to take care of him, but there was nothing he could do. Few people he invites are reliable. In this way, he died in the second year after being diagnosed with lung cancer. I still remember his kind face. Alas!
B, Uncle Zhao, who was in a bureau before retirement, was usually dignified.
The only daughter, who immigrated to the United States through skilled migration, was stubborn and unwilling to go to the United States. She lived independently in our community and hired an aunt to take care of her. Once, she accidentally broke her waist and it was difficult to walk. Before long, her aunt left, and eating became a problem. Later, he went to a nursing home and died in less than a year. Tell me about his daughter. She came back to see him twice a year, stayed for a few days and left without taking care of him at all!
C, Liu Shu, worked in an enterprise before retirement, and his son only studied in a poor university. He helped him find his present job. Because my son didn't have the money to buy a house, he lived with them and often heard them quarreling, but they made up soon. Last time Liu Shu fell ill in the middle of the night, his son immediately drove him to the hospital and gave him a new lease on life. Anyway, they live so noisy that something happened.
The above contents only state the facts, and do not criticize who is right or wrong. Life is like this. You can't have it both ways!