I often hear this: the elderly are not obligated to help their children, who are there to support them. There are even old people who say to their children, I will not help you with your children and you do not need to support me in my old age. Indicating that these older people do not want their children to have a fulfilling life and in doing so, they draw a line in the sand with their children. People feel cold and not at home. But at least by showing mindfulness in this way, it lets the child know that they can't rely on it, which may also be a factor in considering children who don't have a second child. But there is an old man who is desperately trying to have a child, but he doesn't want to have one. It's nothing more than these four mentalities, and the reality is that there's no way around it. First, there's the patriarchal preference for grandchildren. Mr. Zhang, a neighbor, is 40 years old and recently gave birth to his second child. Child. Deceived. Zhang's eldest daughter is already in high school. She is a doctor and is very busy at work. Her husband is a civil servant in a township and often works overtime. Sister Zhang still doesn't want to have a second child, but her husband is an only child and her in-laws are very eager to have a grandchild.
Father-in-law said to her: I will reward you with 200,000 yuan if you give birth to a child, be it a boy or a girl. The mother-in-law said: you only need to give birth. After the child is born, you do not care about anything, I will accept. Husband says: Otherwise we will be born again, and when our daughter goes to college, the two of us will be cold at home. Sometimes talking in your ear can work. It's like when someone says: After hearing a fallacy 100 times, you might be a little skeptical. After hearing it 10,000 times, you will change your mind. There may be several separate reasons for this. Sister Zhang finally changed her mind and agreed to have her second child after being offended by her family. Throughout her pregnancy, her mother-in-law took good care of her, and she always came to the house to cook and do housework. But instead of giving birth to a son as she had wished, Sister Zhang gave birth to a daughter. When the mother-in-law heard that her granddaughter had been born at the entrance to the maternity ward, he cried in agony on the spot and left afterward. Never again did he visit Zhang's home, did not wait a day for imprisonment, did not bring a day for the child. The 200,000 yuan promised by her father-in-law also failed. Zhang's husband often worked overtime and could not be counted on. She had to go to work on her own and could only find a nanny,
But even with a surveillance device installed in the house, she was still very worried about the nanny having to bring up the children after Zhang went to work. Zhang's sister, 40, felt tired after a long day at work and after caring for her second child. She says: I am really exhausted. I really shouldn't have a second child. My in-laws are trying to have children. I just want grandchildren, but who's to say we'll have boys and girls. I'm not going to have a baby when I see it's a granddaughter. I really fell for it. How many elderly people are desperately trying to have children with the in-law mentality of Zhang Daisy, I only want my grandchildren so my granddaughter won't catch it. Secondly, the herd mentality promotes birth, but bringing up children is too tiring. Some old people always like to say to their children: give one, one is too single. Look around there is no second child. Let the boss have company and wait until you are old, two children good. It can also reduce the pressure of children to raise the elderly. They always hear what people are saying and are always asked by those around them: child had a second child? hurry up when you're a kid. Come on. They think that what everyone does can never go wrong, that everyone is born, why don't we have them, and even think: if you have one, you earn one.
But when a child does have a second child, they get tired of having children and don't want them. Thirdly, the children are not grateful and they don't look good. Auntie Wang is 63 years old and she has been helping her son who is bringing up her children. The eldest granddaughter is 4 years old and the youngest grandson is 1 year old. Both the son and the woman work. Auntie Wang takes her little grandson to kindergarten with her granddaughter every day. At the end of the day she breaks some old bones. The son doesn't appreciate it and they are very critical of her with the children. It was not to be consumed, not to be touched. Whenever he felt dissatisfied, he would pull his face instead of having a good one. My daughter-in-law didn't want to have a second child at first, and it was Auntie Wang who did her best to have the child. This became the cause of mymy wife's complaints, often saying: this grandchild is something you didn't want, and you promised to carry it. I gave birth to you and you should carry it. After a few arguments, Auntie Wang's heart was broken, and she didn't bring it at all. Fourth, I want to be full of children and grandchildren, and I want to enjoy my old age Some old people love children so much that they desperately want to have them. But when the children are actually born, they realize that raising children now is really different from before.
There are a lot of things such as scientific parenting, early education, various cram schools and so on. It's not the old preparedness. Two children will occupy the time of the elderly for at least 10 years. But they also want to take advantage of the 10 years that their bodies are still healthy to enjoy old age. Doing square dancing, traveling, and even taking up hobbies are great. So they are the ones who gave birth, but now they are also the ones who don't want to give birth. While childbirth is a couple's business, it's not uncommon for parents to live with childbirth, and most children are raised by grandparents as well. As an elderly person, he also needs to remain rational when it comes to having a second child. If you do not want to have a child, you should not try to have one. Let the child decide whether to have a second child or not. And, when faced with the birth of a parent, especially a young working mother, the child should have his or her own judgment. It is easy to just have a baby, but as a mother you must take responsibility for being a mother. If you feel powerless, please do not blindly seek a second child or get caught up in seeking help.